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CANCER SUXS!!!!!!!!                                                                        Back to first page      Jump to page  2  3  4  5  7  8  9  10  Last page

 2501.         Oh Sonia

          I feel for you. It must be hard for you! You are doing a wonderful job fighting this! Hang in there. Tears are falling now. xoxo

paulaxx (75 )    10:20 am, 11 Jun

 2502.      Hi Paula

          No I'm Ok this morning thanks - the area has calmed down - was clearly overdoing it ;o) Have fun playing scrabble with Joshi - We're off now for a ballet-dancing picnic on the playdeck LOL ;o)

soniat-d (153 )    10:24 am, 11 Jun

 2503.      Sounds

          Like fun. Josh and I get a blast when we get to the end we make up words and then tell a story starting from the first word we used down to the last. Always gets a laugh. Have fun ;0)

paulaxx (75 )    10:26 am, 11 Jun

 2504.         Sonia

          Wipe that terrible thought from your mind right now. Your beast is going to be killed, and YOU will attend HIS funeral. Loving vibes to you.

dize5 (452 )    11:44 am, 11 Jun

 2505.         I know its not a constructive thought Dize5

          Its just whan a 92 year old says he's being praying for me (while he's in hospital!) it kind of hits home. It s just a bit soon after the oncology meeting. Man I wish I'd mammogrammed earlier, like you did! Glad you won the battle ;o) I certainly hope to as well. Will get back inside the bubble ASAP ;o)

soniat-d (153 )    12:45 pm, 11 Jun

 2506.         Was having a great time with the girls

          till I whacked my head on a sharp corner drwaing blood ?! Now I have an icepack on my newly hairdressed head! Not a good look LOL! I don't have the same protection now without the wig!?!

soniat-d (153 )    12:47 pm, 11 Jun

 2507.      Sonia

          Your poor darling - are you ok. Has that little birdy and the stars stopped flying around above your head. OUCH. Not really what you needed huh? Get back in the bubble I think it might be softer. I have room in my bubble now, come on in. lots a love

paulaxx (75 )    1:05 pm, 11 Jun

 2508.         Ohhh Sonia...the day is not treating you like it

          should be. I think you best sit down and relax for a while, and take a bit more care of your self. The weather here has just deteriated to terrible, with cold rain and wind. But it had been so good for so long, I suppose it was our turn to get this. I'm doing nothing most sundays, we just blob out and do whatever. I'm sending emails to people that have emailed me during the week. I send like an update to everyone, every once in a while, but somepeople I like to be more personal with. Takes ages though. Is this Elderly Uncle on you side of the family?? (2 is certainly a good age. On my paternal grandmothers side, a lot of her 10 brothers and sisters lived into their 90's. I going to too, that way I will be able to go on lots of trips wont I. And you will too luv.....just keep on looking will win...we will win this together....all of us. Big hugs to you Sonia xxxxx

joystik (281 )    1:38 pm, 11 Jun

 2509.         Hi all Kim here (missbehave) currently banned

          just using a friends comp for a moment... hoping you are all doing okay.. and sending you love... sorry you donged your head sonia..ow..wishing you all

wellnell (8 )    1:41 pm, 11 Jun

 2510.         Hi Paula and Josh...hows the scrabble going???

          I'm spending the day emailing people, thanking them for their kindness etc. Its taken me ages, but it feels good to do it properly. The weather is quite nasty now, very blustery, wet and much colder than it has been for the past week. Lovely and cosy in side though at about 24 deg!! Lauren is away a a friends forthe weekend,so its very quiet here. Kevin doesn't make any noise...its me that does the talking!! Hope you are feeling much better today and have chased those bad feelings away. It is full moon on monday!! Anything could be happening. Love to you all Paula, even Chris too......

joystik (281 )    1:42 pm, 11 Jun

 2511.         Nice to see you missbehave........

          Hope you are not off the air for too long.. Thanks for popping in. Hugs to you....

joystik (281 )    1:44 pm, 11 Jun

 2512.         Hi boop. where are you today?? Are you shifting

          this weekend? I see there is another big slip down near Charleston now. They aren't having a good run are they. This time of year keeps the road crews busy. Have you got rain today?? We have and its turned colder too. Keep smiling and keep warm too. Hugs to you too.....

joystik (281 )    1:46 pm, 11 Jun

 2513.         Yah I'm feeling yuk today but 100%

          positive... got my computer back up and running and finished chemo!!! Wow what a catch up read I have just had and I was only gone a few days! Grr my Mr14 downloaded limewire, lost all our computer security, flicked onto new month of broadband account and a months use was gone in 8 hours and I had been on it for less than 1/2 hour all day! A few new rules now apply!!!

landylass (47 )    1:57 pm, 11 Jun

 2514.         how did that game go paula......josh I hope

          you won the game, sonia hows your head now, not to sore i hope.Still feeling a bit seedy today. Kids are playing twister what a hoot.

bogeyi (482 )    1:59 pm, 11 Jun

 2515.      Hi Joystik

          Feeling pretty good today thanks. Tiredness makes everything so much worse. Scrabble was fun, we made some interesting words. Its good to catch up with people who care. You are a lovely lady! Getting darker as the day goes on, cold too. Our fire is roaring but coal is so messy. I hope I can talk Chris out a coal burner we'll see whats around when we are able to buy. How are your studies going, Chris's dad is a real estate agent.Hope you, Kevin and Lauren all have a lovely rest of the day. Love to you all

paulaxx (75 )    2:02 pm, 11 Jun

 2516.         me in the uk

          hard to see my dad who is 68 struggle with pancreatic cancer which has gone to his brain as well ..sometimes he cant remember me and he is struggling to walk now...hard to see him like this people enjoy life ..spend what money you have ...not fair really ..he has not been well since his mid 40tees...see all you trade me members in july ..and i miss my wife and son..

puttking (264 )    2:02 pm, 11 Jun

 2517.         Hey Bogey

          Are you not partaking...? Sorry your still not 100% Twister is good for a laugh. Joshi is now defeating Orc's on x-box. Sounds horrendous. How was the pumpkin soup?

paulaxx (75 )    2:04 pm, 11 Jun

 2518.         Big hugs Sonia

          was wondering all day Friday how the meeting went. 4 weeks is a long wait but get your radiation finished then enjoy not having to watch the clock for the next 3 weeks, get out and have some fun! Paula been wondering all week how you all have been coping too. Hope things are better now you are back home on your own patch. Poor Joshi, but thats another trip behind him now. Now you have the facts you know what you are dealing with. Cancer suxs but it just breaks my heart to hear what these kids are coping with. Just tell him to keep smiling... now you have the trip to Auckland to look forward too. Pomegal keep grinning!!! For what its worth my sil had heaps of benigns investigated in her 30's and has had no further problems and is now in her 50's. Maewest hope you are getting some time out soon from that workload and your results are all good. Was thinking of you on Wed being brave going back for the first one.

landylass (47 )    2:05 pm, 11 Jun

 2519.      Hi Landylass

          Thats no good - your feeling yuk! Is it cos its all caught up with you? How are those BSL's. Just have to say once more it was so good to meet you. A real highlight. love to you Paula, Joshi Chris and Cass xo

paulaxx (75 )    2:08 pm, 11 Jun

 2520.         Hope Joshi is on the mend

          not nice reading what he has been thru this week. I guess you are all glad to be home again! It must be tiring just the travelling, stress, being away from home etc. Big hugs for Joshi and just tell him to keep smiling.

landylass (47 )    2:12 pm, 11 Jun

 2521.      Landylass

          Just passed your message on to Joshi, he says to say yes I am tired, thank you. ;0) Bless him Oh and he is still smiling, never really stops! little darling

paulaxx (75 )    2:14 pm, 11 Jun

 2522.      Landylass, how lovely to see you back on here...

          I missed you and was starting to wonder when you would be returning. I have heard of other people having problems with Lime wire too. Lauren is under real strict instructions not to down load anything with out checking with me first. Because I dont no much about computer stuff, I always say 'no, that looks dangerous'. And whats more, so far she still listens to me!! So have you had your very last chemo ever now??? You will be celebrating? When is the family wedding? Must be soon. When does your radio therapy start?? Have you got 3 weeks of that? Mine wont be til November or so. Hope you are keeping well and warm today. Weather is pretty yuk here. But, lovely to have you back....did I say I missed you???

joystik (281 )    2:17 pm, 11 Jun

 2523.         Had my last dose of chemo on Thursday

          YAH.. haha wasn't even excited. Read in the paper on Friday about the radiation strike and got my blood up! So rang Dunedin paper and told them they needed to put the human side to this. 18 people been disrupted and another 55 people like me that now have no idea when we will be starting and all the consequences and other people in our lives it effects. They wanted me to do a full interview but thats not me. I did have a discussion with a local reporter and put some of my concerns so that was reported yesterday amongst the headlines of radiographers views. Sadly it was more about me when I was actually trying to push the effects of people having to travel from out of town... some elderly folk have friends drive them every day, and there are all sorts of issues now with being unable to plan our lives for the next month until we know our dates. Its not just the people waiting, there are families and support people involved too... and multiply that countrywide! So I did try to do my bit!!! Was fine unti

landylass (47 )    2:22 pm, 11 Jun

2524.         Was fine until yesterday

          when side effects kicked in. Got to go help the hubby get groceries so will be back later. THANK GOODNESS FOR ALL THESE LOVELY MALES IN OUR LIVES.

landylass (47 )    2:26 pm, 11 Jun

 2525.         Yes, they should just pay these people to money

          they deserve and quit wasting on all the unnecessary stuff around the place. It is so disruptive to people not being able to plan what they are doing. Hopefully they will be sorted by the time I have to go for mine. Yes, having a good husband around to help is cetainly a god send at times like now. They have to go through so much as well, and yet I never hear a complaint of any sort from mine. He's my Rock and Soul Mate. We have been through so much together. See you after groceries...

joystik (281 )    3:01 pm, 11 Jun

 2526.         Back Joystik...

          Be positive over your chemo... its your friend! I was on FEC and had 3 doses then changed becaused of other health issues and Thursday was my 9th treatment because of going onto the remaining 3 being double bangers... ie two weekly treatments per cycle instead of just the one. I wasn't sick ONCE!!!!! I had a lady leave a message on Friday thats just had her 4th FEC but haven't made it back to her to see how its going. Just remember everyone reacts different to different drugs. For me, thoise zofran were gold! I also had dexamethosone [steroids] and my third was metamide. This last lot were the ones I dropped because they were making me crook. I agree with Sonia it took me 4 cyles to work out these steroids and I haven't had the big crash either since I weaned myself off them by gradually cutting them down. The secret is to cut them down to 1/2 pill and I even go as low as last morning have a 1/4. Wished someone had told me about doing this at the start! Don't just stop them!!!! My hair didn't go unt

landylass (47 )    5:04 pm, 11 Jun

 2527.         until after my 2nd

          cycle. Started showing up on pillow about Fri and I was ready to shave by Sunday. But when it came to point just wasn't ready. By Tuesday I woke up with a mouthful from my pillow, it fell out onto my breakfast & lunch! Everyone I went that day I moulted so Tuesday night Miss 16 and stepson had some fun with designs then took it off. It was kinda a fun time and if I hadn't had them do it I probably would have sat down and bawled my eyes out. The relief of not having it dropping everywhere was enormous! It didn't stop growing all over though and to start with it was queer on the pillowcase at night... kind of prickly. So I took to giving the bits still there a swipe with the hubbys shaver every morning. I felt pretty self conscious for a few days wearing a headscarf but soon got used to it. I remember someone in supermarket not recognising me when I spoke to them but after those first few days it just became normal. At home I opted to run round bald as it was still hot weather and I found kids friends

landylass (47 )    5:10 pm, 11 Jun

 2528.         just accepted thats how I was

          now and after the first couple of shocks didn't worry about it. Now its growing back... still waiting on the blonde curls.... I don't bother wearing anything. The wedding is next weekend so guess i will have to dust off the wig! Had a bridegroom and bridemaid with flu last week so the bride is doping up on garlic and goodness knows what so she doesn't go down with it this week! Heaven forbid. My ankle is still not right but got some flat shoes to wear as would hate to fall off the high heels! Its just going to take time. Had to take Xrays to physio on Fri and he was not impressed with them. Basically told him nothing because of the angles they had taken.

landylass (47 )    5:17 pm, 11 Jun

 2529.         Sonia

          My heart goes out to you and your family, I lost my brother (29 Years old) 4 years ago to cancer, he left an awesome partner and a wee girl who is now 6, I don't go a day without thinking of him or missing him, your thread has shown people how strong some are, and you are really amazing, thank you so much.

jodi111 (762 )    5:42 pm, 11 Jun

 2530.      Thanks Jodi

          So sorry to hear about your brother - that's just awful - I hope you get to give your niece lots of hugs xoxox Thanks for posting :o)

soniat-d (153 )    6:02 pm, 11 Jun

 2531.      Hi everyone, my its been a busy afternoon again

          here in this thread!?! Hey Paula thanks for the bubble offer - I'm jumping in right now ;o) Have spent the afternoon with Great Uncle Tom again today - yet another recording to type out tonight - will start earlier and take breaks!!! Yeah how silly with the head bang eh? Yowsa still sore, I did lie down with icepack on it, fortunately Brent got home right after it happened and took over with the girls. I am a bit of a Klutz!

soniat-d (153 )    6:07 pm, 11 Jun

 2532.      Hi Landylass :o)

          Great to hear from you. Yep planning to get friends around here for a pot luck dinner in a couple of weeks. Otherwise taking time out for ME - getting back to exercising etc etc. Trying to forget about what coming :o/!!! Got my fingers crossed and trying to stay inside the bubble LOL.

soniat-d (153 )    6:09 pm, 11 Jun

 2533.         Hi Paula

          I've been thinking of Joshi a lot! Hope he starts feeling more energised soon. Can't wait to see his famous smile ;o)

soniat-d (153 )    6:18 pm, 11 Jun

 2534.         hi everyone

          just got back from our outing we took the kids down to mission bay and had a yummy ice cream, was cold and windy a nice crisp day love days like this, kids complained it was to cold.

bogeyi (482 )    6:32 pm, 11 Jun

 2535.         We had lovely norwester

          here in Oamaru today, but boy about an hour ago the big blast hit. Cold as and raining. Hope its over by Wed as hubby flying out of Timaru to Wgtn on one of those little planes! Got the family wedding next weekend so may it all be over by then!

landylass (47 )    7:12 pm, 11 Jun

 2536.         Boops are you high

          and dry over there on the Coast? Looked quite bad tonight on TV and more forecast. Stay warm!

landylass (47 )    7:12 pm, 11 Jun

 2537.      Ah Yes

          Mission bay was one of my favourite places to go. I even lived on the North Shore for a little while Sonia - Chatswood. Hope everyone has had a fab day. Sonia Joshi is feeling okish, he doesnt want to go to school though. Not sure if he is trying to pull oone over cos hes got a wicked look when he says it. I will see how he is in the morning. There is a new girl started in his class that might just be all I need to say in the morn cos he does so love the girls/ladies. Anyway I am thinking of you all. By the way - Its snowing heavily here right now, poor cows. So pretty to see it falling. The ground is all white. Take care xo

paulaxx (75 )    8:05 pm, 11 Jun

 2538.         Paula, I did wonder if you were getting the snow..

          Nothing going on here but I guess thats a good thing for the cows and things. Maybe I should go and look, but it wasnt before. Be right back!!No nothing at all. Partly cloudy with a big moon peering through. Joshi and the girls aye. Bit of a ladies man is he. He's bound to want to go to school unless of course,he's snow bound, and then you might have to find a snow plough once he knows there is a new girl attending!! Warm cosy hugs to you all....

joystik (281 )    10:06 pm, 11 Jun

 2539.         No sign of Boops today, but the weather on the

          coast was pretty bad at times today with flooding, and a twister or 2 in Greymouth and Hokitika. If you're Boop, I hope you are keeping warm and dry. Hugs to you too....

joystik (281 )    10:08 pm, 11 Jun

 2540.         oh sonia i would love to show the kids it

          snowing, we have been to the snow but they havent seen it snowing, how cool.We are off early in the morning ryan will be needing platelets they were 26 on friday.

bogeyi (482 )    10:12 pm, 11 Jun

 2541.         Hey thanks Landylass for all your tips and info...

          on the chemo, drug taking and the hair thing. I'm off to see the wig lady on wednesday, and hopefully I can find something I like. I can see me being more of a wig person than not. But who knows until it actually happens. Its good to know how different people react to different drugs etc. Often Dr's etc prescribing these things, dont bother to tell you what you are taking stuff for and how exactly to take them. I thought Dr Perez was very good at explaining things all the same.

joystik (281 )    10:16 pm, 11 Jun

 2542.         And another busy and exciting week coming...

          up for you Landylass with the wedding. Where are they having it?? In Oamaru?? Should be a lovely time for all the families to get together. Weather should have improved by then as well. Better go to bed, not that I have to get up early, I dont. Lauren is still away. Hugs to you landylass.....

joystik (281 )    10:21 pm, 11 Jun

 2543.         No snow here either Bogeyi...I was hoping for some

          but not telling my husband. He's not that keen on it either. Spent too many years driving log trucks in it to ever like it again. My platelets were 342 last week, so his are very low. I will tell you what they are after chemo....probably nil!! I dont know lots about blood but its on my dischargewhat all the readings were at discharge. Hope Ryan is feeling better after his platelets anyway. I was a blod donor until late last year, and just loved it. Its great to think a small thing like that can help so many people. Ryan might have had some of my really good blood!! I'm an O neg so the universal donor, and they would ring me every month to make an appointment to give more blood. The country needs more donors!! Good night Bogeyi..have a good sleep...hope your migraine has gone...hugs to you all

joystik (281 )    10:29 pm, 11 Jun

 2544.         Nite nite Sonia, Hope your head is feeling better

          too. More care needed so as to not be knocking yourself about. Hope you have got Uncle Toms story down on paper. What a long time to have been around. And what a lot of stories to tell future generations. How simply fascinating. Old people are wonderful aren't they. Just a pity really they weren't looked after better in some of these care institutions. Some of the stories coming out about ill treatment are disgraceful are' nt they. See you tomorrow.

joystik (281 )    10:34 pm, 11 Jun

 2545.      Hi Joystik ;o)

          Yep JUST finished typing it all up now - still have some other typed stuff I was given earlier to include - will do it tomorrow and then that family's will be all finished!!! Its a great story of typical farming family life back then, albeit with many interesting characters. Its coming together so well - I'm really excited! As for my head - banged it agin tonight! WT..?! Got a woolly hat on now, till I get myself sorted! Very late so off now till tomorrow - meeting Dr Benjamin in the morning. Wonder how that will go?! Nite all ;o)

soniat-d (153 )    11:55 pm, 11 Jun

2546.         Just popped in to catch up

          Not long in from 12 hours at work. Eyes are a bit droopy. Sonia what a great thing you are doing with your uncle. Good on you. Hope your poor head is not giving you too much grief. Hi Paula. My heart goes out to you and Joshi. I can only imagine what it must be like for you having a sick child. And you too bogeyi.Hi Landylass, boop, Joystik, twinkies and anyone else I have missed. Wouldn't it be great if we could all get together. Who knows??

maewest (75 )    12:22 am, 12 Jun

 2547.         Cancer suxs

          It is everywhere. My boss has just been diagnosed with cancer in the oesophegus (sp). Goes in on Fri to have part of that and half his stomach removed. Also one of our drivers has it in his brain. Also met up with 2 ladies this having a mastectomy this week and the other has an inoperable ovarian cancer. Hell, it's not fair. All such lovely people. My friend who had the double mastectomy about the same time as Joystik is doing really well and has just gone back to work part time. She's an inspiration. We met in oncology having chemo last October and have become very close.The support here is amazing. I'm off to bed now but will pop back in in the morning before heading off to work again. Nitey nite xoxoxo

maewest (75 )    12:28 am, 12 Jun

 2548.         hey all.

          We've had a heck of a busy weekend here. Havn't had a chance to come online. Have however had a read through the thread. Hugs to all who are have a hard time at the moment. Prayers and thoughts to you. Briyanna finished this round of chemo on Friday so no more chemo till July. Briyanna had to have a blood transfusion (thank you to all who donate blood btw :-)) Was amazed to discover 275mls of whole blood takes 3 and 1/2 hours to transfuse into a 3 year old. Picked up out prescriptions and headed home. Yay!! Briyanna's had a really good day (maybe the new blood?!!). Has been chatty and smiley all day, not seeming to have a care in the world :-)

twinkies_pn (0)    12:31 am, 12 Jun

 2549.      Morning everyone

          Bit nippy here today. Not a snow day for the kids but they were excited to be going to school, think they were planning a snow ball fight??? Sonia - isnt it always the way when you have a sore bit its like a beacon and attracts things. I hurt my toe once and for the rest of the week kept kicking it wt?! Hope your head is ok. Bogey, I hope the platelets goes ok today with no nasty side effects. Thinking of you all with love xoxo

paulaxx (75 )    9:21 am, 12 Jun

 2550.      There are some really

          nice people out there arent there! Just lately I have really been thinking about us all, especially the likes of Ryan and Josh and anyone needing blood. So today I started a thread to thank all those people who give blood. Told them how special they all were. Some people added a post saying thats ok. Gave me a warm fuzzie to carry on the day. ;0) You are all in my thoughts

paulaxx (75 )    9:44 am, 12 Jun

 2551.         Morning much snow Paula??

          We haven't got any here, but further north around Christchurch it is very heavy. Roads closed all over the place. We didn't wake up until after 8.30 this morning, good job Lauren didn't have to catch the bus to school or she would have had a day off too. Off out to dinner tonight for my friends husbands birthday. Should be fun. Hug for Joshi and keep warm wont you.....

joystik (281 )    9:45 am, 12 Jun

 2552.      twinkies

          You inspired me to add that thread. Thinking of you and wee Briyanna. Glad to hear she is doing well. Best wishes

paulaxx (76 )    9:46 am, 12 Jun

 2553.         I just loved giving blood when I was a donor.....

          felt so good to be able to do something that didn't hurt me in any way, but could save others lives so easily. It was always a pleasure.

joystik (281 )    9:46 am, 12 Jun

 2554.         Joystik

          My neighbour has just phoned and said there isnt any up the road a bit. How strange - I'm not very good with accuracy but there is a couple of cm's on the ground. Its not going anywhere in a hurry. The children have fires lit in the classroom so now worries about them being cold. Hope he remembers his jacket at lunchtime! (Oh stop worrying mother!) lol ;0)

paulaxx (76 )    9:48 am, 12 Jun

 2555.         HiSonia, hope all goes well with Dr Benji today...

          will be thinking of you lots. Hope your head is feeling much better too. Is it a nice day in Auckland?? Its clearing here for a sunny day, with NO snow!! I was hopefull of a little bit at least,but NO SNOW!! I even got up at 2.20am to see if there was any... Have a great day. Specal hugs for you....

joystik (281 )    9:49 am, 12 Jun

 2556.         Paula, he probably wont need his jacket.....

          he will be sitting inside the classroom chatting up the new girl!That smile of his would win them all I'd say! I heard o the tv news, they had 60cm of snow up around Methven. Thats heaps..

joystik (281 )    9:51 am, 12 Jun

 2557.         Meawest, you will be pleased you don't have to....

          be driving round in all that snow today. Do you have to work later on in the day?? Yes, there certainly are a lot of people out there with cancer, but if the odds are 1 in 3 then we are all going toknow lots aren't we. How soon will there be a preventative I wonder? Surely it cant be that far away. I told Lauren (14) that there should be one in her life time. They have certainly had plenty of time to research it. You have a cosy warm day and hugs to you too...

joystik (281 )    9:54 am, 12 Jun

 2558.      Joystik LOL

          Of course - the new girl I forgot. Your right!! Ever since Joshi could talk he has said when he grows up he wants to be a girl lover. He just seems to attract them too. Before he could walk or talk he could wink beautifully and many times out shopping I would find ladies wondering if they had really seen what they just saw. Dear boy, might as well make hay while the sun shines eh? lol

paulaxx (76 )    9:56 am, 12 Jun

2559.         Hi twinkies, pleased your wee dot is doing much

          better. I had been thinking about her and wondered if she had gone home yet. Its so good to hear good news on here. Hope she keeps on progressing that well. You and your little family,keep well and warm today, and big hugs to you all....

joystik (281 )    9:56 am, 12 Jun

 2560.         Too true is hard!! Hope

          Josh has the best day at school today. Do they go on the bus or do you have to drive them to school? Wonder how the cows like the snow?? They are out for winter now aren't they?? So you just have to supplement feed them and move them around?? Don't get cold will you. Two pairs of socks in your gummies today!! I must go and have a shower...Bye

joystik (281 )    9:59 am, 12 Jun

 2561.         Hi Landylass, you got snow in Oamaru?? Doesnt

          get snow often, but did while we lived there, except we missed it cos we were in Christchurch!! Bad Luck. Hope you haven't got too much planned for this week. Save yourself for the wedding on the weekend. Have a cruisy week. Keep warm today, and hugs to you too....

joystik (281 )    10:01 am, 12 Jun

 2562.         Joystik

          We employ one full time guy now, so he and Chris go everyday to the grazing block. About 10 km's away. They feed them crop, like swede or turnip and supplements too if need be. Lucky me, I dont have to go out in it to work at the mo, just waiting till the calves come. Middle of August I will be so busy! You have a lovely day. Always a pleasure to catch up with you. Love to you and Lauren and Kevin too

paulaxx (76 )    10:04 am, 12 Jun

 2563.         Thats not so bad then Paula.....Its a lot for some

          wives of farmers that have to run the home and work on the farm doing milking and all that as well. Yours sounds like a much better setup to me. When we lived in Golden Bay, I did a lot of relief milking and really enjoyed it, except that is for the early starts!! I'm really not a morning person, but the $$$ got me going first thing I must admit. Love to you all at your home too Paula... It is a bit fresh outside..I just hung the washing out. Lovely and sunny though.

joystik (281 )    10:40 am, 12 Jun

 2564.      Hi everyone!

          Oh boy what a day it is here - all Auckland out of power, guess its best it happened on a strike day, as far as radiation is concerned ;o) Dr Benjamin was all out of sorts cos of the cuts, saying to receptionists to cancel all appointments unless drastically urgent - cos rooms were dark - they weren't THAT dark though, had natural light, I think that was silly... Anyway... got to see him and he sits halfway between my breast surgeon and my oncologist. He says surgery possible if small contained lumps are left. Yay thats what I thought! If they're not contained though... OMG PLEASE may they be contained?! He said CT scan should be more like 6 weeks away, but after I pushed him he agreed an ultrasound next week was a good idea to see whats happening - have to do it privately though. He said my previously big lump is still there but MUCH smaller and a softer consistency, things can still happen there, still not quite 4 weeks since last megablast - effects keept going past 4 weeks he reckons. So I'm happy as is p

soniat-d (153 )    11:07 am, 12 Jun

 2565.         OoOoOOOOOoooh it's FFFFRRREEEZING!!

          Am feeling refreshed and happy today. It's nice having Briyanna home. I've noticed she gets tired very quickly. She collapsed in bed about half an hour ago after playing with her dolls all morning. Things seem so normal today. I wish she'd just be like this forever!! Hope you all are keeping warm on this freezing winter day!!

twinkies_pn (0)    11:07 am, 12 Jun

 2566.      Heads a little ouchy still - silly me!

          Went out this morning after seeing Benji to get some caps (to keep the head warm). Lucky got 2 funky ones hugely discounted ($4.95 etc!) so snapped them up and got one more half cap half knitted number - felt nice on the tender scalp! So many of the hats are made for teeny tiny heads (which I don't have LOL) which is frustrating. Got more stares today walking around with my ultrashort do, I just smiled back ;o) No one ever gave me a second glance with the wig!

soniat-d (153 )    11:11 am, 12 Jun

 2567.         Thanks yes I'm proud of my Family Tree work

          Certsinly brought me up a few pedastals with Brents family - they are wildly impressed ;o) Doing it for the girls of course - hope they appreciate it when they're older - I think Lydia will - she's very like me :o) Given its pouring down today, looks like I'll definately have the time to finish that story off today, it feels great to have that one finally complete ;o)

soniat-d (153 )    11:14 am, 12 Jun

 2568.      I'm thrilled to hear that Briyanna is doing so

          well at the moment Twinkies - long may that continue! I don't know why blood donation isn't compulsory (for anyone who meets required criteria - guess that would be hard to enforce! I do think though it could be set up that if you are eligible to dinate and you don't then you fall down the wait list for transfusions if you need them. How anyone thinks they are entiltled to others blood if they never donated when they could, is beyond me - I've always felt that way. I donated blood for years and years until this - now they say I can't anymore. Sure hope others start to take my place?! I'm O+. (((((hugs))))) to you and sweet Briyanna xx

soniat-d (153 )    11:20 am, 12 Jun

 2569.         Hi Joystik ;o)

          Its a terrible day here - driving rain - flooding already in places and major power cut throughout all central Auckland (not here thank goodness!). Had an interesting time getting into the hospital, why people can't just drive like normal albeit cautiously is beyond me. Drivers doing illegal u turns in driving rain when t=you can hardly see them, etc etc. Glad to be home - must go get Em soon, supermarket on way so must go now actually - with my cool new cap on :o) Bye all have a nice day ;o)

soniat-d (153 )    11:24 am, 12 Jun

 2570.         Hi soniat-d

          Yaaaaaa for Dr Benji, that sounds like all good news to me. I am very pleased for you.. Hugs Di.

kelsall (222 )    12:09 pm, 12 Jun

 2571.         Sonia that sounds like a day and a half for you...

          up there!! If you could see the day we have here, you would be envious I am sure. It is so beautiful and sunny, with a little breeze, enough to dry the washing, and no power cuts either. I tried to order something from Auckland this morning and couldn;t because of the powercuts, because I was using my visa. They are going to phone me back when the power is restored!! Good ole Dr Benji aye!! You sound loads better today and so much more positive. Some days its not that easy to be positive though is it. Keep it up.....Bet you look kool with your new short hair do and your fancy wee caps. My wig will come from the same place as yours, so hope it looks as nice as yours does.

joystik (281 )    1:22 pm, 12 Jun

 2572.         hi guys, well we are home early his platelets

          are 16 and they are pleased so hoping he can last till thursday, what a day alright sonia got to the end of the motorway and all lights are down, very intersting in Auckland traffic.Power out at starship had to walk upstairs from floor 3 to floor 7 just about needed killed me.Dark up on the ward nurses wondering how to get all the info that normally comes via computer....hahahaha.Back to the dark ages they were saying.

bogeyi (482 )    1:24 pm, 12 Jun

 2573.         Hi guys the wind here is unreal

          Our house is up on poles and the wind is coming in from our vulnerable direction, so opening windows on other side of house etc. We still have power here, for now (touch wood) don't like being in this room, its moving around a bit :o/!!!!

soniat-d (153 )    1:29 pm, 12 Jun

 2574.      Hey guys....move to Southland........

          Its just fabulous down here and Paula and I will look after you all. Bring the whole family and the pets...houses are very reasonably priced here and I have almost got my real estate qual so I can start looking now for you. Plenty of employment too. Chris might give you some work on he farm to fill in. Kew Hospital is really good and friendly. Southland ROCKS!!!

joystik (281 )    1:31 pm, 12 Jun

 2575.         I was meaning to say the other day, I asked the

          Oncologist about taking supplements while on the chemo, and he had a look at them and said, Yes keep on taking them. I am taking CAA, CoQ10+Omega3, and Iron, and when I have finished the Iron will take the CoralC Calcuim. Not supposed to take Calcuim with Iron apparently. I think some of you were told not to take them during the chemo weren't you??

joystik (281 )    1:44 pm, 12 Jun

2576.         Joystik

          Chris is laughing his head off at that! yeah everyone come to Southland. Bring your skis. Could be fun. Sonia I bet you look amazing in those caps! Hope the weather improves for all who are feeling it at the mo. Oh and thanks you darlings for posting on my thread. xo

paulaxx (76 )    2:24 pm, 12 Jun

 2577.      Bogeyi

          So Ryan didnt need the platelets today?

paulaxx (76 )    2:33 pm, 12 Jun

 2578.      Joystik

          Kew phoned me today to talk about Joshi as I wondered if he might have needed treatment when we are in Auckland ??? :0/. But no thank goodness we are going to be on about week 4 of the next 12 week course by then. Wednesday 5th July is the next day for him to go to Kew for General Anaesthetic an dchemo into his spine, other chemo into his port so I wonder if you will be there that day?? I asked if Joshi got a break from treatment and the answer is no. The only reason they would stop is if his bloods go haywire. Poor luv 2 and a half more years of this! Still it beats the alternative!! Thanks for your comments, glad you like my poem xox

paulaxx (76 )    2:37 pm, 12 Jun

 2579.         Haven't time to read today as got visitors

          coming for tea. Grr was feeling yuk last night and went to bed early. My lot got home late, woke me up and I couldn't sleep. Had about 2 hours. Quite heave rain. Stepson rang 6.30am from Timaru... he was outside in 6in snow playing with the dog!!! His sensible wife was still in bed... Wanted to know did we have any.. So climbed outta bed and stuck the head out the window for a look in the dark... nothing. I was just about to stab myself with insulin needle and all went dark.... power was going on and off for couple of hours and no radio station going, no school buses but one school started but other didn't. I couldn't get my car out of the gargage to take them as forgot how to overide the electrics! Didn't lie at our place but here is a picture couple kms further out from us.

landylass (47 )    4:13 pm, 12 Jun

 2580.         went in all prepared for platelets today

          Fri his platelets were 26 so normally we would be needing them now but today they are 16 and they want to see if he can old off for a few more days, if he lasts till thurs it will be 13days, they were pretty happy.

bogeyi (482 )    4:34 pm, 12 Jun

 2581.      Wow Landylass

          Thats what it looked like here too.Hope you get a better nights sleep. Cass woke me up with another blood nose around 4. Chris was so yucky with a cold I could hear him all snuffly around 1ish so tonight I hope to get to bed really early. Take care

paulaxx (76 )    4:40 pm, 12 Jun

 2582.         Bogeyi

          So even though his count has gone down 10 they are still pleased that its not lower - do I have that right? Well if they are happy - thats good. Thinking of you all

paulaxx (76 )    4:41 pm, 12 Jun

 2583.         its a hard one to understand we would like to see

          platelets of 150 and above to be normal but know thats not been happening in the last 8 weeks, when we first noticed the problem he was having blood and platelets twice a week again, now blood is about 2-3 weeks and platelets 10+ for some reason his body must be producing something for them not be eaten so quickly, docs are stumped as his neutrafils are climbing very slowly and his transfusions are becoming less but his bone marrow biopsy stayed the smae??????does this make sense or have i confused the hell out of ya..

bogeyi (482 )    4:51 pm, 12 Jun

 2584.         calling south islanders please post a pic

          of the snow for my kids, told them we were going to jump on a plane to CHCH, they were like really.They have been to the snow but i want them to be able to stand in it while its snowing..

bogeyi (482 )    5:10 pm, 12 Jun

 2585.      See post 2579 bogeyi

          Gorgeous pic Landylass, made me go "awwwwwwww" I love snow :o)

soniat-d (153 )    5:38 pm, 12 Jun

2586.         Had visitors this afternoon - they just left

          Girls are konked LOL. Yes the caps look cool made from corduroy like material with a print on one side and a pin with carms hanging of it. Never thought I'd ever have anything so trendy! LOL

soniat-d (153 )    5:40 pm, 12 Jun

2587.         whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa i want some

          paula did my speel make sense about the counts??

bogeyi (482 )    5:40 pm, 12 Jun


2588.      Carms should have read charms ;o)

          Not checking before I post again *rolls the eyes at myself* LOL

soniat-d (153 )    5:41 pm, 12 Jun

 2589.         Hi Sonia & all

          Hope you all had a god day. Went to specialist today, the monster had got into blood vessels but they did get it all. Waiting now for appt with oncologist, but due to expected Dr's strike could be four weeks away. Healing really well too (yeehaa). Heres hopeing those lumps are contained Sonia - wishing you all the best for your ultrasound. Hugs to all

cburton1 (60 )    7:18 pm, 12 Jun

 2590.         Oops should have read

          good day

cburton1 (60 )    7:20 pm, 12 Jun

 2591.         just been down to see if i can give blood

          they will come back to me in a few days, what is an adult ladies HGB meant to be is it the same as a childs????

bogeyi (482 )    7:33 pm, 12 Jun

 2592.      Wish I could answer your questions Bogeyi

          I'm so clueless on the whole blood thing - guess its time I started paying more attention eh?! Was supposed to do a blood test today for CA153 etc, must admit I'm putting it off silly me - the power cuts were my excuse today. Will go do it tomorrow ;o)

soniat-d (153 )    7:56 pm, 12 Jun

 2593.      Hi Bogeyi

          Just got kidlets to bed and thought I better check on here. I think I understand what you mean. Not gonna try and relay it back to ya - just keep us posted and I'll be happy lol. not snowing here yet... will take some pics if it does tho. P'haps I could bring you up some in a bottle like an ex of mine did when I lived in Auckland.Tee hee. Anyway Im not sure what our HB should be 150 I think?? Not sure.

paulaxx (76 )    8:15 pm, 12 Jun

 2594.         Hey Bogey

          On the blood donor thread they were talking about Westwave taking donors tonight. Is that where you have been?

paulaxx (76 )    8:25 pm, 12 Jun

 2595.         Hi Sonia

          How are you feeling this evening? Just thinking about you? And everyone else too of course big hugs to everyone ((((((hug)))))

paulaxx (76 )    8:27 pm, 12 Jun

 2596.         I'm fine thanks Paula :o)

          Got a huge pile of ironing to tackle tonight - gotta put kids to bed now. Have a nice evening everyone :o)

soniat-d (153 )    8:42 pm, 12 Jun

2597.         Hi sonia

          my heart aches for you and what you are facing. Big hugs for you. Leave your ironing till the morning or fold it all up and forget about it. I think you are pushing yourself too hard take time out love for yourself. Your hats sound great as I have given up whitebaiting now I could have sent you my fishing hats! My dear old uncle he was 92 when he died and my aunt used to look after him he had to wear a nightcap to bed as he was bald she just loved him to bits and when he died she went soon after. She always said they had a marriage made in heaven and I am sure they did I never heard them have a cross word. Please rest up a bit sonia.

boop2 (106 )    9:18 pm, 12 Jun

 2598.         yep went to west wave to enquire

          as i wasnt sure we dont have FA but are a carrier of the gene, but hubby says should be alright as we all have defective genes its only when two people have the same it can pass on our chance was 1 in a million or something like that we had more chance of winning lotto we were told....hahahaha

bogeyi (482 )    9:31 pm, 12 Jun

 2599.      Thanks boop2 ;o)

          I was just thinking the same thing! Think I'll leave it till tomorrow lunchtime. Have all tomorrow morning for ME :o) Going to lie down now and watch "Child of our Time" - Lydia is about the same age as them, so that makes it more interesting for us ;o)

soniat-d (153 )    9:32 pm, 12 Jun

 2600.         Hi joystick

          I really admire your positive attitude, good for you.Malc had a major heart attack when he was 42 and spent 3 weeks in hospital he couldn't even lift the teapot when he came home he had your attitude he never let anything stop him from doing what he wanted he knew how far he could push himself. He is 73 now and is fitter than a lot of men half his age. It sure helps to be that way. I will miss Sheri too but no doubt she will call for a cuppa. We are lucky up here in Northern Buller we had a lot of rain but nothing like what they are experiencing down at Greymouth.There are a few slips around but I think they have cleared them now.I have been so busy cleaning that house it is so dirty we have painted the 3 bedrooms and get the carpet down tomorrow, a waiting list of3 mon.for a new kitchen. I don't know how people can live like that.I hada lot of catching up on here, fell asleep in my chair and was too tired to read last night a good feeling though. Hugs

boop2 (106 )    9:33 pm, 12 Jun

2601.         Bogey

          Thats classic. Yea what are the odds! Hope you have a great night. Going to try and donate some blood myself too. Was younger when I tried last time. Maybe Ive growed up enough now to withstand it. Was pretty little back then with low blood sugar?? We'll see - would love to

paulaxx (76 )    9:36 pm, 12 Jun

 2602.         Sonia and Boop

          Have a nice night.

paulaxx (76 )    9:37 pm, 12 Jun

 2603.      Thanks Paula :o)

          Just bought tickets for Lydia and me to see Swan Lake on Ice at the end of July, a combination of Lydia's 3 favourite things (ballet, skating, & swan lake music) :o) Hope she'll like it!

soniat-d (153 )    9:44 pm, 12 Jun

 2604.         Hi paula and joshi

          We never get snow here ,lot's of rain though.I wish I was there to play scrabble I love it my eldest son gives me a hard time when he comes hopes I have been practising and all that rubbish as we really enjoy a challenge. He always seems to get the J AND K AND ALL THE S'S. Paula when I lost my youngest son I wish I had talked to someone as nearly three years down the track I still find it hard to talk about. It was totally different to what Joshi has and I don't mean it is the same situation but sometimes I think it helps to have someone else guide you through these things I thought i would cope because it didn't matter what people said it was not going to change the situation but now I wished I had. I think to unburden yourself at times get's rid of a bit of stress. Hugs to you and Joshi. Cassi sounds a dear wee girl just like her big brother.

boop2 (106 )    9:48 pm, 12 Jun

 2605.         hi landylass

          I hope you feel better now. Yes, we are fine here thanks, lots of water but not really cold.Take care thinking of you . hugs

boop2 (106 )    9:51 pm, 12 Jun

 2606.         Hi boey and ryan

          That will teach me to fall asleep at night it is taking me ages to catch up on all my friends. Your boys were not as close as mine but they still look like they could be double trouble like mine were. Hugs to you and Ryan I hope he picks up he looks so good in his photo. night

boop2 (106 )    9:55 pm, 12 Jun

 2607.         sorry I left out the g bogey

          time I was in bed

boop2 (106 )    9:55 pm, 12 Jun

 2608.         Hi twinkie

          so glad your wee girl was brighter today the poor wee soul has been through the mill. Hugs

boop2 (106 )    9:57 pm, 12 Jun

 2609.         Hi maewest

          you are dealing with heaps too take care of yourself. We are fine here. This house cleaning is not only keeping me off the streets but off my computer as well ! Hugs

boop2 (106 )    9:59 pm, 12 Jun

 2610.      Goodmorning everyone

          Hope you are feeling good today. Boop2 thanks for your lovely words last night. It sure does help talking or (typing) to someone who gets it. A lot of the people I talk to dont! To be fair how could they! You are all very special. My poor Joshi, yesterday got home from school, i told him I had written him a poem. He tried to read it but couldnt finish it, only got the first line out.I didnt mean to make him cry, but we sat there together cuddling and crying. Hes so special to me. They both are! He followed me around like a lamb everywhere I went he wasnt letting me out of his sight??That was before the poem too.Sat on the loo laa while I was in the bath.Which isnt unusual but for the rest of it it was a bit?Chris had to go out to a quiz nite and he said Im glad your not going mum.Bless him! He just needed me close.IM NOT GOING ANYWHERE!

paulaxx (76 )    8:56 am, 13 Jun

 2611.      Sonia

          I am sure the Swan lake tickets will be a huge hit. Sounds wonderful. Be a very special time. Thats so exciting. Hope all goes well for you today. ;0)

paulaxx (76 )    8:58 am, 13 Jun

 2612.         Good morning ladies.....still no SNOW!!!....

          We went in to Invercargill and had dinner with friends at Ziffs out at Otatara. It was really lovely there and the food delicious. I had a lovely seafood chowder, and then a light meal of Blue Cod, Kumera chips and salad. Just beautiful. When we left to come back home at 12 midnight, it was snowing a wee bit in Invercargill. It was just starting to settle on the road, but it wouldn't have lasted til morning I dont think. Lauren was hopeful of a huge dumping of the white stuff out here, so she could have the day off school, but NO, nothing doing. Hope you're all keeping warm and not too busy...

joystik (281 )    9:05 am, 13 Jun

 2613.      Yes I know Paula

          We often do "ballet dancing" in the loungs to the Swan Lake classic CD (Barbie of Swan Lake video of course fuelled the interest to start with ;o) and Lydia often asks me to show her the Torvill and Dean Bolero skating video and just goes "Wow! Thats amazing!" and then show's me her "skating" on the lino LOL so I think this'll be just perfect! Just hope the show is not too long for her!

soniat-d (153 )    9:29 am, 13 Jun

 2614.      Hi all yes I'm taking it real easy today

          Just going to chill..... ;o) No radiation of course, looks like it is on for tomorrow. Have to do that blood test sometime this morning though...

soniat-d (153 )    9:31 am, 13 Jun

 2615.         Good on you Sonia. Bout time you had a day off.

          Not too much happening here today either. Just the usual house work, which I have done already. Going to phone a lady I was in hospital with soo to see how she is coping. She had a hip replaced. And have a wee play on the computer. Still a bit showery round the hills but sunny here,so thats great. The ballet sounds beautiful Sonia. My friend's daughter had done ballet since she was about 5. She is now 18 and is very good. I have been to lots of shows that she has been in and it is so graceful and lovely. My Lauren was nver the least bit interested in things like that. She was always more of a Boy/girl!! I dont mean that in an unkind way either, but definately not Ballet material!!

joystik (281 )    10:25 am, 13 Jun

 2616.         Hi Paula.....I will find out on Thursday when my..

          second chemo will be. If it is always on a Thursday, it will be the nex day after you are there, but I will let you know after the first one. I would so love to see you and joshi too. Do children have there chemo at a different part of the hospital or just the oncology dept?? There were heaps of people in there the other day getting there dose. Felt sad when I saw them all really, but it was probably a reality check for me!! I willcertainly let you know. Hope you are all cosy in Gore today. Been nice and sunny but showery round the hills. The wind is quite nippy. Warm hugs to you all.

joystik (281 )    10:29 am, 13 Jun

 2617.         hi joystik,sonia,paula not much happening here

          either, Ryan is doing his corospondence (sp) took the kids to school this morning to have them photographed will be nice to have a photo where ones not grumpy or pulling a face, taking Ryan back soon to be in the class photo.

bogeyi (482 )    10:30 am, 13 Jun

 2618.         Hi Joystik

          Seems our day is always a Wednesday. If yours is Thursday thats ok, still going to come and find you one day. Joshi goes to the paediatric ward and then when he has the intrathecal chemo (under general) he goes to the surgery on first floor, then straight back to his room, childrens ward. He is famished by then - fasting from 7am.We have two outreach nurses there that are just the Best! He has all his chemo done there too. I know what you mean about reality check! Hang in there, your amazing - your attitude has helped me/us no end. We think you are so great! Cant wait to meet you! Sun is shining here too, but too cold to get out in it. I think Im a wuss now. xo

paulaxx (76 )    11:00 am, 13 Jun

 2619.      Hi Bogey

          Thats great that you are going to get Ryan in the photo as well. Are his friends supportive to him? Its hard some days I think because the kids can look quite well, but deep down we know they arent as well as others. Have fun. Do you use the x-box as a lure for the school work. I think Josh would spend all day on it if I let him. Just ordering bowls of pop corn at leisure. lol have a good one

paulaxx (76 )    11:02 am, 13 Jun

 2620.         Hi boop, how lovely to see you back again....

          I thought perhaps you were toiling at the new house. So people certainly don't know much about cleaning do they. It is a bit of an insight into how some people chose to live, and its not always pleasant. Glad you are all ok up there anyway and out of the floodwater.

joystik (281 )    11:19 am, 13 Jun

 2621.         Brrrr It's freezing here

          Still some snow on the ground. We went for a walk down the road at midnight last night. It was beautiful, with the full moon shining on the snow and the air was crisp. Good for the soul.Paula, your poem must have been very special. Brought tears to my eyes too reading your post. Hope Joshi, Ryan and Briyanna are all having a good day today.How is it over on the coast today Boop? Sonia, I agree, time to start taking it easy. The hats sound great. I had red tips put in my hair about a month ago. Love the change. Short, trendy and RED! LOL. How are you going Joystik? It will be good for when Thursday has been and gone and you are underway. The waiting is the worst.Hello Landylass, Bogeyi and Twinkies. Hope you are all staying warm.

maewest (75 )    11:25 am, 13 Jun

 2622.      Maewest

          Thank you for your lovely message and email.Really means a lot to me/us. Wow a midnight stroll! Thats certainly making the most of the hours in the day! Hope you are not working too hard. Have a great day. Best wishes Paula and Joshi

paulaxx (76 )    11:55 am, 13 Jun

 2623.         Hi bogeyi and Ryan...hope you two are

          happy and are having an good day. Did you get all your school work done Ryan?? How many hours a day do you spend at that?? Or can you do it all really quickly, and then play X-Box?? It has become quite cloudy here now and the wind is freezing. I hope you are tucked up nice and warm. Its lovely inside here. Hugs o you all up there.

joystik (281 )    1:45 pm, 13 Jun

 2624.         Hi Boops, when do you move to your new house?

          Or are you there now?? The cleaning isnt much fun, but painting is pretty good. Kevin is busy painting round at the house we are renovating. I had thought we would move in there when it was all finished so we could have a lovely new house, but at the moment I have changed my mind and I think we will stay here. Mainly because I cant be bothered moving, but also because it is on 1/2 acre section, most of which is lawn that will need mowing!! But, we'll see when the time gets closer, I might have changed my mind by then. I like this street better, but the other house is bigger and would be all new inside including kitchen, bathroom, carpets, vinyls, and drapes. Will have to toss up wont I. Whatever happens, we will sell 1 or other. Hope you're keeping warm...

joystik (281 )    1:50 pm, 13 Jun

 2625.         hi joystik they get through the work so

          much quicker at home as its one on one and its fun to, so theres plenty of time for the xbox.Paula read your poem its beautiful, suns poking its head out and i am in the corner window lapping up the warmth.

bogeyi (482 )    1:54 pm, 13 Jun

 2626.         I thought that bogeyi. We almost went to live in

          the Marlborough Sounds when Lauren was about 5, and she would have been schooled by Correspondence, but decided not to because she is an only child, and I think the interaction with other children is very good for learning also. I wouldn't be able to home school now. The work is almost beyond my comprehension now. She is year 10. I wish the sun would poke its head back out here...its got quite chilly....

joystik (281 )    2:07 pm, 13 Jun

 2627.      Awww Paula

          Your poem is wonderful, but so sad. What a great job you did with that! Tears are flowing for you guys. xxoo

soniat-d (153 )    2:16 pm, 13 Jun

 2628.         Hi Joystik :o)

          Yes Lydia loves dancing, takes after me ;o) I was never allowed to go to dance lessons as a kid (sad but true!) so only started as an adult. I have Lydia on a waiting list for the local ballet school but nothing has come up there yet. Thinking I'll try elsewhere actually. Emily's shaping up to be a dancer too, she has a huge love of music too (also like me ;o).

soniat-d (153 )    2:23 pm, 13 Jun

 2629.      Had my bloodtest today

          and booked ultrasound for next Wednesday morning. Looks like my final zap is on for tomorrow (touch wood).

soniat-d (153 )    2:25 pm, 13 Jun

 2630.      yes paula your post

          made me cry also you and your little one sound like you have the perfect mother child relationship orrrrrr hugs, only got chance to read this page but is lovely to come in and see all you lovely ladies helping each other through your daily struggles and your ups and downs, have been on this mb since i was preg with my 4 1/2 year old so 5 years and i have never seen a thread so uplifting, so sad, and so happy at the same time you girls all rock and have the strength to help each other through, that in itself makes me glad to be a human being, hugs to you all, yes i think you can just call me aunty huggy lol hugs hugs hugs, wish i could sit around the table with you all over coffee, can u imagine that we would be there for weeks lol

pomegal (91 )    2:30 pm, 13 Jun

 2631.      Awww Paula

          I just read your Good morning post - aww how sad :o( Words cant express how I'm feeling for you now. (((((hugs))))) to you and joshi ((((((hugs)))))) xxxoxox

soniat-d (153 )    2:43 pm, 13 Jun

 2632.      Aunty Huggy

          and Sonia. You are so special to me. Sorry to make you cry, I didnt mean too. Just had those words in me that had to get out... the poem that is. Sonia it helped me to know he needed me there. Dont be sad hun, we are so close and so often through this I have felt like I wasnt helping. So its all good, very healing to have a bawl together. Lots a hugs and love to you too. Your all such amazing mothers you inspire me xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox

paulaxx (76 )    2:52 pm, 13 Jun

 2633.      Sonia

          Final Zap tomorrow - Yahoo!!!! Hope the blood test went ok. Another day closer to beating this!!! July is coming closer all the time too. YAY. I dreamt about you the other night. You and i met and it was like we'd known each other for ages. Cool. This morning Joshi said mum, last night I dreamed about Sonia. It was amazing - see he so thinks of you too even in his dreams xo

paulaxx (76 )    2:55 pm, 13 Jun

 2634.      Bogey

          Thanks for that too. Josh really thrived on his learning at home also . Loved it. Very happy to - makes me wonder about home schooling??? Nah - might interfere with TM MB lol ;0)

paulaxx (76 )    2:57 pm, 13 Jun

 2635.         Good luck Sonia for getting your final blast......

          tomorrow. I will be thinking of you ( as always) and hoping it all goes to plan. I'm wondering if I will get my appointment tomorrow with the Junior Doctors on strike. I am off to see the surgeon so he can check the wounds out, and also to discuss having a port put in. It did say in the local newspaper that out patients appointments would be affected, but I have heard nothing more than that. Might pay me to give them a call I think. Dont want to sit there for hours for nothing. When do you get blood test results? Good luck for your scan next week too..Big hugs to you sonia..

joystik (281 )    3:00 pm, 13 Jun

 2636.         paula

          i know it isnt the same but when i misscarried twins many years ago the only way i got through it was to write a poem, some how after i had done that the weight lifted off me, there is a lot to be said about power of word, good for the soul, keep smiling darl hugs aunty huggy xx

pomegal (91 )    3:01 pm, 13 Jun

637.         Paula you peom is very beautiful but sad, and

          shows what a closeness there is between you and Josh. It made me cry too......everything make me cry now....I never used to be like that at all, and I didnt think one person would be able to cry so much, but they can. Lauren made me cry when she said 'Mum, I thought that just anyone could get cancer, but its not like that, its only special people that get it, isnt it??' I had never looked at it like that, but it made me cry, and her too....Stay close to that wee man of yours Paula xxxx

joystik (281 )    3:06 pm, 13 Jun

 2638.      Oh Joystik

          That made me cry. I have to say that emotions with me now run very close to the surface! Thanks so much. I truley treasure my darling children. I am so lucky to have them. Hope you get the answers for your appointments etc soon. xoxo

paulaxx (76 )    3:30 pm, 13 Jun

 2639.      Aunty Huggy

          I too had a miscarriage and wrote a poem. Only way to get through it at the time for me too. It was called heaven and earth. Bless you and love and hugs to you xxxxxxoooooooo

paulaxx (76 )    3:31 pm, 13 Jun

 2640.         Paula,I just phone the hospital and they said that

          neither of my appointments would be affected, so thats a big huge plus.. I was really pleased. Better go, my baby will be home in a minute from nearly 15 she is still my baby.....

joystik (281 )    4:01 pm, 13 Jun

 2641.         Joystik

          Great!! Lauren is and always will be!! Have a great afternoon. xo I like to think I'm still my mums baby at shhhh nearly 36 ;o)

paulaxx (76 )    4:10 pm, 13 Jun

 2642.         Hi Paula :o)

          Wow those dreams are amazing :o) Wow! I've had a dream too, and on Wednesday 26th July its going to be a reality ;o) Can't wait!

soniat-d (153 )    4:15 pm, 13 Jun

 2643.         I felt like writing one when I had my miscarriage

          but never did. Planted a tree over my angel though. I've been playing with words for a poem to my girls, think you've given me the incentive to get it down! Not sure how good itll be there - bits of it sound good in my head ;o)

soniat-d (153 )    4:18 pm, 13 Jun

 2644.      Hi Pomegal ;o)

          Thanks for your lovely post - wow thats a long time on the MB LOL! What a pro you are! I keep telling myself I have to cut back, but this amazing thread keeps pulling me back in ;o)

soniat-d (153 )    4:21 pm, 13 Jun

 2645.         Yeah I know - last blast! Wohoo!

          Its kind of a measured glee - who knows what's coming?! Its the unknown that gets me down, I like to know whats ahead ;o) Looking forward to, and apprehensive of, the ultrasound all at the same time! Blood test results Thursday morning. (((hugs))) all - off to do other duties ;o)

soniat-d (153 )    4:24 pm, 13 Jun

 2646.      orrrr sonia

          it doesnt matter how good it is it will be from your heart, i have wrote a few peoms in my time the last one was for my partner and was quite funny as i was pregnant, we had bet each other and so i just added a bit whenever i thought of it, the beginning of it went, my darling shawn yuou helped me spawn and gave me a fat bum hehe cant remember the rest i had them written down somewhere, you just write how you feel for each of your girls and believe me i have a book that i write in for both my 4 and 3 year old and its easy peasy, they both have different strengths and beautys, its not easy rhyming charlotte, or victoria hehe it makes you feel so good that it is down on paper wether it be a peom or just how you feel about them, i have a personal letter for my 14 year old that was written when he was 18mths old that i put in his book that i put other things in and i wrote it then as he was my first child and i was so scared back then that something may happen to me and he would never know how is mummy felt hugs

pomegal (91 )    4:30 pm, 13 Jun

 2647.      oh and sonia

          although i have been haniging around here for 5 years i am not on it half as much as i use to be lol i also used my full name as my user name and changed it, and lost 70+ feedback doing it grrrr but thats nothing hehe glad that i can post now and people cant look me up in the ph book

pomegal (91 )    4:32 pm, 13 Jun

 2648.         paula

          how amazing eh funny how just writing something down gives you some sort of closure eh, i remember mine being about how the baby was so special that god needed it more than we did but that mummy and daddy loved it so much, Mmmm i must have a look and see if i can find them as i have wrote ones for my mum and aunty as well about how i felt, living 12000 miles away from all does make you do things like that too hehe

pomegal (91 )    4:34 pm, 13 Jun

 2649.         ooops no hugs

          huhs hugs hugs love aunty huggy hehe

pomegal (91 )    4:36 pm, 13 Jun

 2650.         OOOHHHH Sonia

          Yea our dream will come true xx This is my poem Heaven & Earth This candle is a symbol. A token of our love, we didnt get to meet you, you went back home above.It cant have been the right time for you join our lives, but just cos we cant see you or gaze with loving eyes, your in our heart for always and we love you very much.I cried for you our baby the one I couldnt hold.I guess it wasnt meant to be or so I keep being told.So when we light this candle its for you our unborn one. Not knowing if you were a daughter or another son.Thanks for gracing us,even for the shortest time.I know we'll meet again my love heaven & earth its a very fine line.

paulaxx (76 )    5:16 pm, 13 Jun

2651.      I hope

          That no-one gets sad over that. I really debated whether to post it or not!!! :0/

paulaxx (76 )    5:18 pm, 13 Jun

 2652.      Its amazing Paula

          What a talented thing you are ;o) I can so relate to what you wrote xxoxox

soniat-d (153 )    5:23 pm, 13 Jun

 2653.         AWWW thanks

          I love writing. I guess you all know that by my threads. tee hee

paulaxx (76 )    5:25 pm, 13 Jun

 2654.      Thanks Pomegal :o)

          You and Paula have inspired me to get started. Still gotta do those videos for them too!

soniat-d (153 )    5:25 pm, 13 Jun

 2655.         You and me both Paula ;o)

          You can tell by my webpage ;o) This family tree book I'm doing is a work of art. Interview with Tom ended up a busy 6 pages of interesting family history! I've been spending the afternoon transferring it into webpage format to upload - still not finished! Man I forgot how long this takes :o/!!!

soniat-d (153 )    5:28 pm, 13 Jun

 2656.      Well Sonia

          There are some people in this world that you can take or leave. At least everything you have to say is worth listening too. You are one of those people you just cant get enough of. xo

paulaxx (76 )    5:33 pm, 13 Jun

 2657.      :o) #blushes#

          xxx ;o)

soniat-d (153 )    6:35 pm, 13 Jun

 2658.         Huge hugs

          My mother has just had a rather large mass removed from her liver along with half her liver all going well so far.( So know how you feel) I hope things go well for you really easy to say but stay strong

fe4 (3)    6:50 pm, 13 Jun

 2659.         What a beautiful poem Paula, you are quite a

          wee work of art really arent you. Your poems are full of deep and meaningful words from your heart. They are really beautiful. Hugs to you Paula.....

joystik (281 )    7:40 pm, 13 Jun

 2660.         Hi fe4, sorry to hear about your mum. Sounds

          like all is going well so far and I hope that continues for her. Sending my best wishes for a complete recovery from this monster. Hugs to you and your Mum too....

joystik (281 )    7:58 pm, 13 Jun

 2661.      "bump"

          hugs to all

trishm (34 )    8:45 pm, 13 Jun

 2662.      She is a work of art isn't se joystik?!

          I'm very very impressed! Feeling a bit paranoid this evening, don't think taking it easy is that good for me LOL ;o) Hi Fe4 sorry to hear about your mum - hope things improve for her ((((hugs))))

soniat-d (153 )    8:46 pm, 13 Jun

 2663.      Thank you Joystik and Sonia

          I only share because I care. Keep smiling xxx

paulaxx (76 )    8:49 pm, 13 Jun

 2664.         bumping for the crew


bogeyi (482 )    9:13 pm, 13 Jun

 2665.      Hi bogeyi ;o)

          How are u this evening? I'm really tired actually, going to watch a movie with Brent then hit the hay. Have a nice evening ladies :o)

soniat-d (153 )    9:22 pm, 13 Jun

 2666.         Sonia, you will be just fine I'm sure. Sometimes.

          to much free time give the Devil more chances to put all sorts of stupid and ridiculous thoughts into our minds, that we know aren't true. I have found myself getting a few rather paranoid feelings too at times, but dont if I keep really busy doing stuff. We will always all be here for you, when you are happy and when you are not so happy. Cancer does that to people....I too know that now. Hugs to you Sonia .....

joystik (281 )    9:23 pm, 13 Jun

 2667.         im good thanks sitting here by myself

          its soooooooooo quiet everyone is in bed.Went to the health shop today and got some vitamins as i was feeling run down took them today and have more bounce in me, we tend to forget about ourselves and make sure everyone else is sorted.

bogeyi (482 )    9:27 pm, 13 Jun

 2668.         Bogeyi you will have your blood in such good order

          soon they will be ringing you requesting it if you become a donor again. Glad you are feeling better. Mothers are good at sorting others first arent we, but thats just what makes us special people too I guess. You have a good restfull sleep tonight. I'm off to bed now...was 12.30 last night so I'm a bit weary tonight. Hugs to you and family too....

joystik (281 )    9:49 pm, 13 Jun

 2669.         joystik have a good sleep

          i am off in a few minutes as well.

bogeyi (482 )    9:52 pm, 13 Jun

 2670.         I have just read your poem

          paula the one for joshi it is very moving. I do hope he feels better tomorrow he has been through enough the wee soul. Hugs to joshi and his mum. I write poetry too when something happens I need to put it down on paper. Let's hope tomorrow is a better day.

boop2 (106 )    10:39 pm, 13 Jun

 2671.         Joystick two days to go

          all the very best for your chemo. We are getting there with the house had the carpet put down today and the vinyl tomorrow in the wash house and loo.Have to wait about 3 months for our kitchen. It is starting to smell much nicer now we are at last making progress.There was a lot of snow on the mountains today and the wind was really fresh both the alpine passes were closed because of snow. We can't complain at least we have power.Hugs to lauren she sounds delightful. Take care joystick.

boop2 (106 )    10:45 pm, 13 Jun

 2672.         Hi sonia

          pleased you were taking it easier today. I bet you will be pleased to stop the radiation and have a few days without having to rush off somewhere. I have never been a dancer but must say I love dancing with the stars , especially Beatrice and Brian I think they are so lovely.Hugs for you , Lydia and Emily.

boop2 (106 )    10:49 pm, 13 Jun

2673.         Hi Bogey and Ryan

          Did you get all your work done today Ryan? Maths was always my favourite what's yours? Bogey please take care of yourself as well as it is so easy to get run down even if you put your feet up for 5 mins helps. Hugs to you both.

boop2 (106 )    10:53 pm, 13 Jun

 2674.         maewest I think i would rather look out

          the window at the snow than walk in it. We are fine over here nowhere near as cold as CH CH (my home town) we don't get frosts here. My friend Sheri is having a hard time adjusting to the climate in CH CH after Nelson. I bet it looked beautiful across Hagley Park with the snow. Well done the Flames beating the sting last weekend.

boop2 (106 )    10:58 pm, 13 Jun

2675.         I finally finished it - yay!

 inaWech.htm Now I'm off to bed ;o) PS Watched fun movie - Carolina, not brilliant, but watchable :o)

soniat-d (153 )    11:52 pm, 13 Jun

 2676.         Can't sleep so

          have been browsing through your family tree Sonia. All I can say is...WOW!! What an absolutely amazing job you are doing with it. I am in awe of you. Fantastic. Yip, quite often go for a wander down the country roads late at night. Love it. It is so peaceful. Guess it comes with doing years of shift work and getting home late at night. I won't be checking in for a couple of days. Big day tomorrow. Appointment with surgeon then off to work. Also read your poem Paula.It's beautiful. Hugs to all. Must get back to bed.

maewest (75 )    1:48 am, 14 Jun

 2677.         Just one thing to say....

          I know where you're at. Fight it girl. Fight it for all you're worth. Thinking of you with all my might.

corel (4178 )    3:15 am, 14 Jun

 2678.         Bumping for the girls

          to all who are at appointments today....good luck hope all goes well. I am having my hair done at 11am...oh to feel somewhat normal.

bogeyi (482 )    9:55 am, 14 Jun

 2679.      Bogeyi

          Hope you feel great after getting your hair done! My hairdresser asked me to go in tomorrow and have a cut and colour. She is using me on the weekend for some hair competition photographs :0/. Think I'm getting a bit old for this sort of carry on!! To all of you at appointments today. Hope they go well. Thinking of you all with love xo

paulaxx (76 )    11:59 am, 14 Jun

2680.         sonia

          just looked at your website and its amazing your wedding day was georgous and your family are all lovely hope your head is not too sore. hope everyone else is good and having good appointments love aunty huggy, hugs hugs hugs to all xx

pomegal (91 )    11:59 am, 14 Jun

 2681.         Thanks Pomegal :o) Oh to look like that again!

          Ok silly me when posting that fam tree thread somehow got a space in the middle of it - need to remove that for it to work ;o) Don't expect anyone to read it of course - its 6 pages worth on paper LOL!

soniat-d (153 )    12:45 pm, 14 Jun

 2682.      Ok #bright red face# (green was best icon option!)

          Can't believe how stupid I am LOL I still have 5 radiation treatments to go! Silly silly me forgot to cross out all the days that didn't happen because of stikes so when I thought I'd done 44 treatments I'd only done 39?! D'oh! #shrugs# I don't mind, when the therapist told me and said "Oh you must be so disappointed!" I said "No actually, I was nervous of stopping as it means nobody's attacking the little monsters in there any more!?!" She noddwed and said many feel like that. Guess it depends on whether people have lumps or not. If I didn't it would be a totally different feeling! I'd just be sooo glad to have my mornings back, and it would be all over ;o) Sadly not for me, but hopefully some positive news is ahead. Fingers crossed... :o)

soniat-d (153 )    1:02 pm, 14 Jun

 2683.      Wow Paula :o)

          Take that as a HUGE complement! You're only as old as you feel sweetie ;o)

soniat-d (153 )    1:04 pm, 14 Jun

 2684.         Sonia

          Just read that you have more treatment.I totally get what you mean that while its happening its attacking! Thanks for the compliments - bit of a hoot. I will post a photo after the session on Saturday - if they are ok???? She wants to make me up for the Gothic Luxury category - which is really quite the opposite of me. Oh well better go check Josh. Another yucky day for him :+( xo

paulaxx (76 )    1:10 pm, 14 Jun

 2685.      Awwww poor Joshi :o( xxxxxx

          What are the symptoms bothering him at the mo????

soniat-d (153 )    1:25 pm, 14 Jun

 2686.         Hi Sonia

          He cant bear to be touched. His body gets achy. He feels sick and weak. No tolerance at all. Last night he came racing in to me crying saying I could have really hurt her. Meaning Cass.Poor kid he felt like hitting her but didnt. I was so proud of him. Had to explain to Cass to leave him alone for a while and then showed Josh how we could throw pillows and whack the bed to get our frustrations out. He is just so out of sorts. Thanks for asking hun. I think they may have increased a chemo on Wed (last) cos he's grown.

paulaxx (76 )    1:43 pm, 14 Jun

 2687.         orrr paula

          hugs to you and your little one, must be very frustrating for all concerned hugs xx

pomegal (91 )    1:59 pm, 14 Jun

2688.      Oh Paula

          I can relate to how he's feeling totally! :o/ That's how I felt with the second type of chemo - like every cell in my body was aching. There's nothing worse. What pain relief have they given him? I was given stronger stuff after that, but I realise he's a kid - hope there's something they can give him to ease the pain. And distractions - x-box maybe? Is he playing that? I found watching TV or lying down just made me more aware of how bad I was feeling. Anyway, please send him my (((((hugs))))) My neck has just started aching in sympathy just thinking about him, poor brave man (xxxoxoxox) Oh to be able to take his pain away from him, you must feel so helpless. Hus to you too Paula (((((((hugs)))))))

soniat-d (153 )    2:03 pm, 14 Jun

 2689.         Thank you so much

          Got your hugs and I will go and gently give them to him too. I can offer him panadol but he is feeling to yucky, doesnt want to swallow it. It is hard watching! I will give him one soon wiht a drink of lemonade and try to settle that tummy as well with some ondansetron. If his aches get too bad hes got codeine here too. May slip one in with the chemo tonight. Have to put all his tablets into a gelatine capsule otherwise he cant swallow them. I have to give him two lots tonight (chemo) every Wednesday he gets Mercaptopurine and Methotrexate. Thanks you guys xx I feel at my strongest when he needs me the most.

paulaxx (76 )    2:33 pm, 14 Jun

 2690.         He doesnt

          want to play x-box. That is a worry!!! I just took his temp if it gets to 38 degrees I have to ph the hospital. Its 37.5! Oh boy!

paulaxx (76 )    2:43 pm, 14 Jun

 2691.         Big [[[[[[hugs]]]]]] for Joshi....

          hope you get on top of it quickly Paula.

landylass (47 )    2:53 pm, 14 Jun

2692.         Joystik if you are around

          I just had a look at when I started same chemo etc and will post some stuff for you in breast thread. Hope everyone is coping with the cold! Been feeling yuk but hopefully over worst. Poor hubby left at 5am to drive to Timaru to fly to Wgtn, got there and they cancelled and he had to come home! Daughter away south to a choir competition and won't be home to midnight so will be some tired bods in our house tomorrow! At least when our power came back it has stayed on. Some of the rural locals here might still not have it by weekend.

landylass (47 )    2:57 pm, 14 Jun

 2693.      Oh boy Paula

          Poor Josh - I think 37.5 is close enough to 38 unfortunately?! Poor sweet Josh - I've been thinking of him constantly this afternoon - sending positive vibes xoxoxox

soniat-d (153 )    3:37 pm, 14 Jun

 2694.         I have been

          Trying to read this message board and keep up with the goings on. I hope Josh is doing okay and that you are all warm. We are freezing here so a Hot bath soon and blankets on 3!!! Have been thinking of you all. Love and Hugs Christine. xx

gregp3 (5 )    4:14 pm, 14 Jun

 2695.         hi paula hope josh is ok

          i know ryan had to touched gently when he had slight GVHD as his skin hurt, he to is one tough wee fella and wont take pain medication even pamol is hard to get him to take cause if hes feeling off he knows he might be sick and he dosent like that. Gentle hugs to josh.

bogeyi (482 )    4:27 pm, 14 Jun

 2696.         when ryan has his hickman line out

          he was in major pain (never seen him like this) i was called down to recovery as he was crying and in alot of discomfort, nurses were trying to get him to have morphine (never had to have pain relief b4 in surgery) then i came on the scene and asked him to take something i got a very grumpy/angry NO, then the anethesist (sp) came and was asking Ryan are you in pain (his answer yes) he said you should take some pain relief and it will help.....well there was only about two hand spaces betwen ryans face and the anethesist and out came....for the last time, how many times do i have to tell you guys NO....i had a little giggle at that. In the end it took 2 of his favourite nurses upstairs about 10mins to get some morphine in him and 1/2 hour later he was sitting up being

bogeyi (482 )    4:37 pm, 14 Jun

 2697.         Bogeyi and everyone

          That is classic. Josh is soooooo like that! I managed to slip some anti nausea into him. But thats it so far. He knew what he was taking I would never do it behind his back. I cant lie to him about anything! He seems a bit better had a fruit muffin - toasted for tea and some ice-cream. Early to bed for him tonight. The Vincristine chemo he gets gives body aches, jaw pain, headaches, sensitive skin, so am picking its caught up??? We shall see. Temp come down a bit too ;0) Hope you and Ryan ok Bogey

paulaxx (76 )    5:31 pm, 14 Jun

 2698.         gregp3

          Thanks for your lovely thoughts. Take care

paulaxx (76 )    5:32 pm, 14 Jun

 2699.         Hi Paula and Bogeyi

          It must be so hard when they won't take the medication to help them - my girls do the same, why kids do that I have no idea. It must be hard giving him the chemo stuff yourself - knowing it'll make him feel soooo bad. I just can't imagine it, just thinking of you Paula and sweet Ryan - sweet dreams you brave boy ;o) xxx

soniat-d (153 )    6:24 pm, 14 Jun

 2700.       Just

          snuggled Joshi into bed. Tomorrows another day. Love to all xoxo Sweet dreams Sonia. Oh and thanks for your understanding - yeah its hard giving him the chemo day after day but it sure does beat the alternative. He knows he has to have it to get better. It better bl**** work thats all I can say.You all have it so rough. Its not fair. xoxoxo

paulaxx (76 )    7:45 pm, 14 Jun

2701.         Hope Joshi has a good

          sleep Paula and wakes up feeling better. Gawd its heartbreaking reading your posts! Take care of yourself too, I guess you are in for a sleepless night checking him.

landylass (47 )    8:21 pm, 14 Jun

 2702.         paula i remember when we were in transplant

          and all of a sudden it must of clicked for ryan and he said to me, so they need to make me sicker so i can better.I was amazed that he understood that (but i should of known better he understands to much).

bogeyi (482 )    8:38 pm, 14 Jun

 2703.         I have almost missed a whole day on here and its..

          all sad tonight. Just mde me cry reading all about it, but I'm a bit sad tonight anyway for whatever reason. Think perhaps because the reality of the whole thing kinda hits you, when you are about to start the chemo, and today I looked at the wigs, etc. Just a bit sad. Poor helpless when you cant do a thing to make him better, and what you are doing just seems to make him feel worse for now at least. I just feel so much for you and Chris,Paula. Its a terrible thing for any body to go through, but let alone a parent. Gentle hugs to you all......

joystik (281 )    9:04 pm, 14 Jun

 2704.         Hi sonia, not long to go for you now and all those

          treatments will be behind you too. Hope you have had a good day. The wig lady, Shelley, was lovely. She let me go through her catalogue, and chose anything that I even remotely liked, chose a colour I liked for the style, and they will all come down from Hair Creations, in Auckland over night. I will collect them tomorrow and bring them home for the weekend and try them all on, and see if I like any. If I dont she will get more down until I find what I want. They are all short styles, with lots of texture and highlights, foils etc. She was lovely, but the whole thing really started to become much more surreal today!!

joystik (281 )    9:10 pm, 14 Jun

 2705.         Joystik

          Im sorry you are sad. That was something that has been on my mind lately. I know we all have each other and you will never know how much you have all helped me, I just dont ever want to make anyone sad with our stories. You are all going through so much, you dont need to be carrying the burden of our heartache too. Thanks so much for all your darling words and kindness. I hope you feel better in the morning. I know what you mean. Reality hits! Life is a journey. Joshi said to me in the car, Mum if I didnt get cancer i wouldnt have all these new friends I have now. You are all our friends now. I just hope I'm there for you like you are for me/us!! xoxo

paulaxx (76 )    9:13 pm, 14 Jun

 2706.         Hi landylass....what a busy place you have there..

          people coming and going. Did you have much snow around Oamaru? It was terrible up further round Timaru and inland wasn't it. Its raining here tonight and has got a lot cooler and I see snow is forcast again for the weekend and friday, with a widespread dumping right over the south Island again. Hope the wedding is in a lovely warm venue. I will go to the other site and read about your chemo..Thanks so much for posting that for me. You're a wee treasure...hugs to you too

joystik (281 )    9:14 pm, 14 Jun

 2707.         Bogey

          These kids are born with a knowing arent they? Well hows the hair?? Did ya feel special for a while and step out of the whole routine of it all just for a moment???

paulaxx (76 )    9:15 pm, 14 Jun

 2708.         Hi landylass

          How are you? I know what you mean its heartbreaking when he is low. He still thinks he wants to go to school ... I dont know what to do??? I will see how his temp and pain are in the morning. He's still not asleep. He wants to me to go and get into bed with him ... so off I go for a little cuddle. Back soon xo

paulaxx (76 )    9:17 pm, 14 Jun

 2709.         paula felt good, had blonde and copper highlights

          in was all ready and glam to go out but came back and relaxed by the

bogeyi (482 )    9:22 pm, 14 Jun

 2710.         Bogey

          Sounds lovely!! Hows Ryan? Is he due platelets on Frid???

paulaxx (76 )    9:26 pm, 14 Jun

 2711.         Thanks Paula, I wasn't sad at what you said, just

          so sad that it has to be that way for the poor little fella. They just have to go through so much apin and suffering when they should be running around having the time of their lives. Thats the bit that breaks my heart the most. And thats the same for you bogeyi and Ryan. These boys are just innocent little kids with all this crap to go through.. Sometimes life just isnt fair at all is it. Thanks guys for being there for me too. It so wonderful knowing that you are always there, when other people dont understand, you will always understand. Love to you all......

joystik (281 )    9:28 pm, 14 Jun

 2712.         Bogeyi,your hair sounds lovely, much like the.....

          colouring in some of the wigs I have chosen. Its quite hard to actually visualise what they will be like but all will be revealed tomorrow,....

joystik (281 )    9:30 pm, 14 Jun

 2713.         have fun joystik trying them on

          off to hospital tomorrow im sure h will need them tomorrow.

bogeyi (482 )    9:33 pm, 14 Jun

 2714.         Joystik

          Your so right! These kids are thrown into an adult world without asking to be. He had a teddy waiting for me when I just went in to check on him. So put on a bit of a show with the old bear and he was giggling away. Hes such an old soul, but still my baby deep down. Hope you and Lauren and Kevin have a nice rest of the night. xo

paulaxx (76 )    9:33 pm, 14 Jun

 2715.         Hugs to you all.

          We're having a downer day today here. Briyanna got her bloods done today and her neutrophil count is now down to 0.03, someone just keeps kicking sand in my sandwiches. I feel so low at the moment. Thank you for this thread by the way, it's comforting to know that we're not alone in this journey.

twinkies_pn (0)    9:37 pm, 14 Jun

 2716.         Bogey and Paula

          I wish I could just wave a magic wand for your boys and make them better!!!!! Cancer is bad enough at any age.... but at least us adults with it were able to enjoy our childhood. Thats the bit that really gets me... these boys are dealing with adults sicknesses when they should be out having fun! I hope Ryan and Josh get together one day! Paula I am still having computer problems and can't access my photos, but when I get it sorted I will post a photo for Josh of the new perch my MR14 has found for playing on the Xbox with wireless.

landylass (47 )    9:39 pm, 14 Jun

 2717.         Twinkies

          It is so hard isnt it. One step forward and ten back! Poor little thing and poor you. One day at a time. Thinking of you guys hugs to you

paulaxx (76 )    9:40 pm, 14 Jun

 2718.         Oh twinkies, thats not so good, but tomorrow is

          another day, and she might be better by then.I have been thinking bout her and wondering how she was coping. There are definately good daysand better days aren't there. I start my chemo tomorrow so this is what I have to look forward too. I will be in here plenty telling you how it is for me too. Love and warm hugs to you all especially wee Briyanna.......

joystik (281 )    9:41 pm, 14 Jun

 2719.      Landylass

          Sounds great. I wished I had taken a photo of us together too or you and Joshi. Oh well next time huh?

paulaxx (76 )    9:41 pm, 14 Jun

 2720.         twinkies

          jut hang in there, they will come back. Sometimes its better not to know how low they get. I was down that low about 3 weeks ago and only found out cause I had sick kids at home and Dr wanted to check my bloods. I didn't think I would get my next round of chemo and they bounced back the highest they have ever been. Tomorrow is another day.... chin up.

landylass (47 )    9:41 pm, 14 Jun

 2721.      Joystik

          All the best for tomorrow - sending you big cuddles and hope you have a restful night. Lots a love xoxo

paulaxx (76 )    9:43 pm, 14 Jun

 2722.         Just got to get thru this

          radiation and I want to get south to visit my niece in Invercargill. [Her hubbys got a brain tumour] Haven't been down since they arrived back from OZ last year. So there is my goal to get south to meet Joystik now and maybe catch up with Josh again.

landylass (47 )    9:45 pm, 14 Jun

 2723.      Hi everyone

          I see its been another busy evening while I've been cuddling my girls and dealing to the washing LOL. I don't know where to start... It breaks me heart to hear what these beautiful kids are going through, it doesn't bring me down, but certainly puts perspective on things. As the others have said, we were fortunate enough to have no such burdens in our childhoods, but then I'm betting that after all this they'll live strong and wonderful lives and appreciate it so much more through the torrid experiences they are having now. It amazes me the insightful things these kids already say, bless them xxxx

soniat-d (153 )    9:52 pm, 14 Jun

 2724.         Joystik, we'll be thinking of you tomorrow

          You have such a great attitude.

twinkies_pn (0)    9:54 pm, 14 Jun

 2725.         Sonia when are you getting

          the rest of your radiation?

landylass (47 )    9:55 pm, 14 Jun

 2726.         Hey good luck Joystik

          Wow first chemo and wig testing in the same day?! That'll be interesting! What time do you start? I settled on late afternoon times, so that I finished up about 8pm came home and pretty much went to bed and slept it off. That worked well for me. Anyway, hope the wig testing is fun, just wait to see how different you look in each one! Once I chose mine, I couldn't wait to wear it LOL! Best wishes for tomorrow hun xxx

soniat-d (153 )    9:56 pm, 14 Jun

 2727.      Hi Landylass :o)

          Just each day like "normal" until final one next Wednesday (assuming no more strike holdups that is). How are you feeling? Where are you up to now? I've lost track again!

soniat-d (153 )    9:58 pm, 14 Jun

 2728.         Finished chemo last Thursday

          but still having a bit of withdrawal off the drugs this week. Was a right grumpy cow yesterday and everyone was ducking for cover! Feeling better tonight and just drinking heaps now to get the last of the lovely toxic stuff flushed out of the system. Gong to just blob next 2 days to get ready for this wedding. Might have to clean the gumboots if the predicted weather arrives!

landylass (47 )    10:04 pm, 14 Jun

 2729.      Hi again Joystik

          Sorry to hear you're having a weepy day - that was me yesterday - yep its just reality bursting the bubble - sorry to hear that, but knowing you, you'll be back on top tomorrow. All Landylasses advice on the other thread was spot on - no need for me to reiterate it, except maybe remind you of my first chemo story. I was told to "only take a Zofran at night if I'm feeling severe nausea" and first night, being a female (lets face it we're used to battling on when sick ;o) I thought "well, I don't feel THAT nauseous!" and didn't take it. BAD MISTAKE LOL! By time I realised it was an inevitability it was too late! Always took a Zofran for first 3 nights after that and no problems! Otherwise my tips are, water-water-water, gingernuts/beer/ale, lemonade iceblocks, sleeping pill for first few nights, and vegetable soups for lunch! Oh and don't lie around too much during day, find something to keep your mind occupied! These are the things that worked for me! Good luck ;o)

soniat-d (153 )    10:13 pm, 14 Jun

 2730.         Hi Landylass :o)

          Well thats good its kind of over, don't expect the hangover to finish on a particular day - I was expecting great things 3 weeks after my last one - was still feeling effects for another week or two after that! Sorry to say that, just don't want you to get as disappointed as I was by that ;o) Hey, radiation is a doddle after chemo - no comparison ;o)

soniat-d (153 )    10:16 pm, 14 Jun

 2731.         Yeah I'm hoping that will be the

          case. Once I have a date and get started I will be fine. Just not looking forward to having to live away from home for 5 weeks, but on the other hand.... I might just enjoy it! Just a bit concerned about kids getting sick and no one at home, so fingers crossed we have got all our winter bugs out of the way!

landylass (47 )    10:19 pm, 14 Jun

 2732.      Just talking to mum on skype now

          Funny (wierd discussion as always). What cancer? LOL

soniat-d (153 )    10:22 pm, 14 Jun

 2733.         Thanks sonia and everyone for the hot tips for

          first time chemo people. Thats just great, and I'm sure it will all go ok. Will be better after the porta cath is in though. I have a top range water filter here and we all drink loads of water anyway, and I have heeps of gingernuts in the pantry too. Will have to get on to the vege soup tomorrow sometime. I have to be at Kew at 10am so its a morning one for me. And I have to take all the drugs with me so they can show me when and how to take them. The Oncologist stressed that I must take them all and strictly as directed for a good reason and if I dont I will find out why!! Thats reason enough for me to do what I'm told. I'l let you all know how it goes tomorrow night. Thanks for being there...I cant imagine life without you all wouldnt be the same. Love and special thoughts to you all...every last one of you...right from the bottom of my heart.

joystik (281 )    10:23 pm, 14 Jun

 2734.         Good night everyone .....I'm off to bed...

          the junior doctors are still going to strike tomorrow, but that doesnt affect me at this stage. Hope it doesn't affect any of you either.... Bye......

joystik (281 )    10:24 pm, 14 Jun

 2735.      I never had a portacath Joystik ;o)

          I managed!

soniat-d (153 )    10:26 pm, 14 Jun

 2736.         'nite joystik

          Sweet dreams :o)

soniat-d (153 )    10:28 pm, 14 Jun

2737.      Ah well, just got off skype

          (hence the short posts LOL!) Well at least mum did ask this time (confirming she doesn't read my online diary). She said "Oh well, sorry you are going through all this, but thats life isn't it?". Then changed the subject... Sorry I'm just venting! Must go clean up and hit the hay. Nite from me too all :o)

soniat-d (153 )    10:32 pm, 14 Jun

 2738.         oh sonia that is so sad

          I have been thinking of you all day. I bet your mum is proud of you , how could she not be with all you have accomplished and all the things you do. We all love you and your bravery.

boop2 (106 )    11:02 pm, 14 Jun

 2739.         Hi Paula and Joshi

          Poor wee Joshi it's not fair what he has to go through please god he feels better tomorrow.My heart goes out to you paula.

boop2 (106 )    11:05 pm, 14 Jun

 2740.         Hi joystick and landylass

          running a bit late tonight but couldn't go too bed without checking on my friends. Good luck for tomorrow joystick , the fear of the unknown is scary. Hugs landylass I hope you come right soon you were so luky meeting Paula and Joshi

boop2 (106 )    11:09 pm, 14 Jun

 2741.      Morning everyone

          Thinking of you today having more treatment. Esp Joystik. All the best for today. Joshi's coming to the hairdressers with me. Hes still not great. So thats going to be nice.Bogey love to Ryan and hope his platelets transfusion goes well. Bless you all and keep fighting. You inspire us!!! Lots and lots and lots and lots of love my friends xoxoxox

paulaxx (76 )    9:02 am, 15 Jun

 2742.         I was wondering how Josh

          was at 5am this morning!!!! First night in over a week I have actually slept all night. Woke up at 5am and managed to go back to sleep. Feel a different person today because of it. Hope Josh is on the improve.

landylass (47 )    9:15 am, 15 Jun

 2743.      Landylass

          How lovely of you. Josh is stillnot great. Keeping a close eye on him. Funny what we do isnt it, I dream of chatrooms everynight (this is the only one I have any affiliation too) yet keep having the same dream. Four times now. Its always about all of you. I dreamt we met - all of us were on a bus. Having fun! Glad you got a decent sleep! have a lovely day.

paulaxx (76 )    9:25 am, 15 Jun

 2744.         I feel like I got energy to burn

          today, and away to do the housework and make a big pot of soup. This wedding on Sat is 1.30pm so we are going to have to be organised to get there on time! Will just have to learn to pace myself today and not go mad. Hope Josh feels better soon.

landylass (47 )    9:28 am, 15 Jun

 2745.         Boop2

          Hope you are good. Thank you for your lovely words last night. Hope the Coast is treating you well. Mum lives in Hoki and says it is still raining. Friends of ours are from Westport. Twins married now with children and surname starts with S and ends with K. Lovely family!!!! Hope you have a nice day lots a love

paulaxx (76 )    9:29 am, 15 Jun

 2746.      landylass

          Yea dont over do it. When you feel so good, might pay for it tomorrow. Hows that beautiful jumper you were knitting going.

paulaxx (76 )    9:31 am, 15 Jun

 2747.      Morning Sonia

          I hope you are ok today. Thinking of you as always with love xo

paulaxx (76 )    9:38 am, 15 Jun

 2748.         Wow, so much has happened to you all

          since I had a nosy at this thread a few days ago looking for twinkies. Hope you are all on the mend and still smiling even though things aren't so good. You all astound me immensly. Amazing warriors fighting such a huge battle. May you ALL (big and small) continue to hold on tight to your swords and fight off this monster. Hugs to you all.

luke_83au (2 )    9:42 am, 15 Jun

 2749.         Joystick

          Re sonia's post 2729 My Mum found crystalized ginger really helpful for nausea- & used to eat it frantically when she had to go in the car. Hope it goes well today.

persioux (192 )    10:23 am, 15 Jun

 2750.         Sonia

          Your mum is so like my Mum was "If you don't say the word cancer, or think about it, then you can pretend it isn't there". Denial is the only way some people can handle things, and it is sad for those around them, but that is how it is. Even though Mum's attitude hurt me terribly, we were able to express our love to each other the day before she died, and a lot of wounds were healed, and I miss her so badly. Her age didn't help either (91) as she was so afraid of being left alone. She called me her rock and if I had a bad day she would say anxiously "But luckily you are so strong Diane". You can see both sides of this.

dize5 (452 )    10:30 am, 15 Jun

2751.         Yah just had a ring

          from the hospital and I start radiation on Tuesday next week. Thank goodness its not Monday... now I have a day to try and get organised after the big weekend!

landylass (47 )    10:35 am, 15 Jun

 2752.         Thats great Landylass

          So have you had your markup already? Or is this the markup appointment?

soniat-d (153 )    12:47 pm, 15 Jun

2753.      Thanks dize5

          Yes I know she's that way and thats that - I just have a problem with people telling me "Thats life" with regard to me having cancer/a miscarriage. Works for some people, not for me! I know this is life, just would prefer empathy/support to a dismissive remark like that! Fine really, good today. Yesterday breast area felt all lumpy so I was worried, today, all normal again :o) Wierd...!

soniat-d (153 )    12:51 pm, 15 Jun

 2754.      Hi Paula

          I'm great thanks - just bought myself a couple of nice new tops at a sale today :o) And a music box I've had on order for Lydia for months (since March!) finally arrived today so getting that this afternoon - she's going to be so stoked! (Its a promised birthday present that never happened due to out-of-stock). How is sweet Joshi today? I've been thinking about him and talking to my girls about him. Lydia was most concerned for him and said "I bet he likes getting lots of hugs from his Mummy cos they make me feel better when I'm sick :o)" So true - love it :o) Hugs to Josh from all of us xoxoxox

soniat-d (153 )    12:57 pm, 15 Jun

 2755.      Hi Luke :o)

          Thanks for popping in - holding on tight to my sword thanks - loved that :o)

soniat-d (153 )    12:58 pm, 15 Jun

 2756.      Oh, by the way Luke ;o)

          You're such a sweetie - how you are still single is beyond me - that last date of yours blew me away :o/!!! Good luck with the next ;o)

soniat-d (153 )    1:02 pm, 15 Jun

 2757.      Back later ladies

          putting Em to bed, things to do, hope everyones having a nice day. Nice and sunny here how - has been 4 seasons in one day! Thats Auckland for ya ;o)

soniat-d (153 )    1:04 pm, 15 Jun

 2758.         Hi Joystik :o)

          Thinking of you today - hope all goes as well as it can ;o)

soniat-d (153 )    1:36 pm, 15 Jun

 2759.         I am sitting here and Ryan is fast asleep

          platelets were 15 (same as 16 no difference really) so no platelets but hes having blood, so he is having a nice sleep with Mr Well it has been confirmed we will be coming in the week of 25/26/27 july for our second transplant there not sure which one of the dates we will be coming in but once we are in we are here for a long stay......I am gutted, although deep down I knew I was hoping some miracle would happen...

bogeyi (482 )    1:44 pm, 15 Jun

 2760.      Oh no bogeyi

          So sorry to hear that, I'm lost for what so say (((((((((hugs))))))))) and my sympathies and best wishes for a successful op. The timings are exactly when Paula's family will be in Auckland - will he be in starship?

soniat-d (153 )    1:48 pm, 15 Jun

 2761.         yep starship

          im sure we can sort something out.

bogeyi (482 )    2:31 pm, 15 Jun

 2762.         bumping for Joystik...

          hope all went well this morning. Another change of plans for me. Now starting Thursday... booked me in the wrong machine! Got the tats etc, this is the start of treatment. This is working in great as I want to do a polytech course of which first day is Wednesday and also Wed the following week so I will still go down on Tuesday. Now I won't be juggling an early appointment with course on Wed. So all ends happy!

landylass (47 )    3:00 pm, 15 Jun

 2763.         Hi...

          Oh Bogey what a day. We will hopefully sort something out. I know Ryan wont be allowed visitors. Thinking of you with all my love

paulaxx (76 )    3:19 pm, 15 Jun

 2764.         Sonia

          What Lydia said is so beautiful and true. Give her a cuddle from us! How sweet. Hope she loves her music box. Lots of love to you and your lovely family xo

paulaxx (76 )    3:22 pm, 15 Jun

 2765.         lol sonia, single or not single, i'm happy :-)

          Just a little note for Joystik to say that you've crossed my mind a few times and I hope that you first lot of chemo went well. Sonia, a really good friend of mine (a very wise friend too) used that sword analogy on me when I was battling depression last year. It worked for me, but I think it fits so much better for the battle you all are fighting. As soon as you lower your sword, that battle is over. Always hold your sword up high, it's your sword that will win the battle, and it's your army of friends/family that will support you. Anyway, Im driving down to Wellington on tomorrow to go visit a very special little friend of mine, Briyanna (and Twinkies of course). So am very much looking forward to that. Once again, you guys are truly amazing people and if I can do one thing for you all, I will continue to read this thread daily and encourage you all where I can. I am sincerly amazed by you all.

luke_83au (2 )    3:55 pm, 15 Jun

 2766.         Bogey

          I understand how much of a long haul it is in the hospital. Do you stay with him?? I am just feeling so gutted for you too. Big hugs to you all !!!

paulaxx (76 )    3:55 pm, 15 Jun

 2767.         Hi Landylass, sonia, paula, Boop, bogeyi,twinkies,

          and everyone else not mentioned personally by name. I'm back!! One down and 5 to go...YAY!!! All is wel so far, just feel a wee bit light headed at the moment. Went in at 10am and she spent the first 1 1/2 hours going through the proceedure, and explaining why they give each of the different drugs in the FEC mix, what all the side affects of each one are,why there is a great emphasis on taking the temp and reporting to hospital if you aren't well etc. Rohanne was the lady and she was very informative. During the long talk she gave me the drugs, steroids and anti nausea and started the transfusion at 11.30. She had no problems putting a line in and it all went without a hitch. It was all over and I had soup and sandwiches courtesy of the Southland Health Board for lunch and was out of there at 12.45. Actually Kevin had 2 sandwichs and the icecream!! I was so busting to go to the loo, and sure enough, it was as red as. But its gone completely now and back to normal. She said the drugs are out of the

joystik (281 )    3:56 pm, 15 Jun

 2768.      Oh my Gosh

          Luke - what a really inspiring lovely message!!! You too deserve a medal me thinks!!! Give our love to Twinkies and Briyanna. Thanks for your support, you are one of those special people!!!

paulaxx (76 )    3:58 pm, 15 Jun

 2769.         Oh and the wigs hadn't arrived so they will be

          couriered out to me tomorrow. So I will have the weekend to play. I dont go back to Oncology until I think tuesday 4th July for clinic and bloods, and if they are right, then chemo number 2 on july 6th. Paula, you and Joshi are there on 5th arent you??

joystik (281 )    3:58 pm, 15 Jun

 2770.         Joystik

          Joshi did red wees too, it was quite a talking piece with us for a wee while (pardon the pun). Hope you have a quiet night. We are all thinking of you. xoxo Oh and WELL DONE !!! Goodbye DAY ONE!!!

paulaxx (76 )    4:00 pm, 15 Jun

 2771.         Joystik

          Yes right in between your days. Wed 5th. Typical!!! Like I said, one day our family is going to come and find you, when your feeling up to it of course!!!

paulaxx (76 )    4:01 pm, 15 Jun

 2772.         Thanks luke,that was lovely of you to be ....

          thinking of me today. Right now,I am just fine, and 1 treatment closer to the end. I have got my sword held up high i can assure you. I will fight, fight, fight and will WIN. Give your little friend Briyanna a hug from me tomorrow, and her mummy too. I think about her every single day too, and everyone else on here, many many times. We are all fighting a common cause and we will all win. You cant lose with the determination thats in here, can you!! Ohhh, and Luke....hugs to you too...

joystik (281 )    4:02 pm, 15 Jun

 2773.         Thanks Paula, I was a bit dissappointed about

          the wigs not being thee, but what difference does one day make after all? I will have something to do over the weekend now. Hope wee joshi is feeling much better today. Give him a big cuddly hug from me. Not as cuddly as they used to be mind you, with the boobies gone!! Even the cat noticed! He loves mummy cuddles, but certainly noticed something was gone. How did the trip to the hairdressers go? All spruced up? I thought you looked pretty darn good how you were before.

joystik (281 )    4:06 pm, 15 Jun

2774.         Oh Joystik

          Boobies or not - a cuddle is therapy in anybodies terms!!!!! Thanks. Received gratefully and reciprocated equally!! Oh my hair, well remembering its for a Gothic theme tee hee its very dark!! kinda purple in some lights, with a flash of red.Amazing how an outfit and a lot of curlers etc can make someone look completely different. Its all fun! If I'm game enough I will post a photo! might put it on Joshis website tho cos I can delete it when Im ready lol. Thanks for asking. Joshi came too as he was not well enough for school. But he seems quite active this arvo so?? Your a treasure!

paulaxx (76 )    4:10 pm, 15 Jun

 2775.         yes i stay with him all the time I never left

          him long only to get a coffee or a quick 5min breath of fresh air.I feel so emotionally drained and sick at the moment.....

bogeyi (482 )    4:20 pm, 15 Jun

 2776.         Oh gothic!! Lauren has a friend at college that.

          seems to want to lean towards gothic things. Interesting! I'm sure you look beautiful anyway cos you did before, and different coloured hair doesn't alter that really. I will check the other web site frequently, for a glimpse of the new you.

joystik (281 )    4:20 pm, 15 Jun

 2777.         Oh bogey

          I know what thats like hun!!!! When I was in Choc (Chch hosp) Childrens Oncology Haemophilia Centre I got ordered out by the senior oncologist to go and have some me time! It was really starting to show and they were there for Josh! I know you'll be feeling absolutely spent! Oh sweet I wish I could help! Can you have a soak in the bath tonight and try and relax somehow??? Easier said than done. I am pumping myself with Vit C and echinacea at the mo, I am run down too ulcers in my throat for nearly 10 days now! Please try and look after you too!

paulaxx (76 )    4:36 pm, 15 Jun

 2778.      Hi Joystik ;o)

          Hee hee I forgot about the peeing red bit LOL bit disconcerting eh?! Sounds like it all went well, best wishes for tonight, and remember to take those meds!

soniat-d (153 )    4:37 pm, 15 Jun

 2779.         Joystik

          Yes the whole thing is for a competition. So Saturday is the day. I will take my camera too and get some photos. It is fun, I kind a step out of me for moment. LOL She is so clever with what she can do, its really not me when I see myself.

paulaxx (76 )    4:38 pm, 15 Jun

 2780.      Oh BTW Damn I forgot to remind you

          to pee before they hook you up! Also to put your hand in hot water before they put the line in, bring up the veins. Did they do that with you?

soniat-d (153 )    4:38 pm, 15 Jun

 2781.         How cool Paula ;o)

          What a good bit of fun - will be interested to hear what Chris thinks LOL So how has Joshi got on today?

soniat-d (153 )    4:40 pm, 15 Jun

 2782.      Oh Bogeyi :o(

          You're not sounding good at all poor thing... can you try and treat yourself somehow? xoxoxox

soniat-d (153 )    4:42 pm, 15 Jun

 2783.      Hi Luke :o)

          Thanks for the lovely post. Please pass on our hugs to Briyanna and Twinkie when you see them. Hope things are improving for them

soniat-d (153 )    4:45 pm, 15 Jun

 2784.         Hi Sonia

          Josh seems a bit more on top of things this afternoon. Still really shirty!! How did the music box surprise go down? Chris likes the black bustier, keeps asking if we can borrow it. LOL. Yeah Right! I am so not in character at home! HA HA HA. You'll see from the photos after Saturday.

paulaxx (76 )    4:45 pm, 15 Jun

 2785.         Yes I will sonia, think I am supposed to be taking

          some more about now I think. Although 6 hours after chemo would mean after the finish wouldn't it, not the start?? I feel fine, but was absolutely ordered to take the meds as directed, no more and no less, and was even given a script for ampules of maxilon in case the vomitting thing takes hold tonight, and the district nurse has to come up and administer it!! One in the Bum!! Even have a signed permission slip for her to administer it! I wont be needing that. The district nurse is supposed to come every ay now for a few days. Made my arm really cold, while it was transfusing. The nurse doing it said, they always transfuse the chemo in the morning so as its basically out of the system before you go to bed at night, because it is very hard on your bladder if its left lying in there overnight, and in fact all of your urinary system. I remembered you saying you always had yours at night. But of course that might be just this FEC. I am getting a major dose because of the grade 3 status, and because of su

joystik (281 )    4:46 pm, 15 Jun

 2786.      Hi to everyone else :o)

          I jumped back on the exercycle today, ready to build up the exercising now, oh and Paula, I've started the poem ;o) It going to take a little while to get it right, not a poet by nature LOL

soniat-d (153 )    4:46 pm, 15 Jun

 2787.         cont....such a lot of lymph node involvement...

          and of course the side effects can be worse too. Yes I did go to the loo before I went in and luckily I had, cos they transfused over 1.5 litres in. I was just busting when they finished. But she did say, you just unplug the machine and take it to the loo with you.

joystik (281 )    4:50 pm, 15 Jun

 2788.         Sonia

          Thats great. Those words will come to you when you least expect it. Good on you for starting. And for being on the exercycle! My pup Teddie just put a hole in my exercise ball. You gotta laugh. You can imagine how much bigger than him it was.

paulaxx (76 )    4:51 pm, 15 Jun

 2789.         Yes sonia, I had the hot wheat bag treatment on

          the and, and the nurse got the line in no sweat....better than the doctor last week thats for sure. Didn't even hurt,except when she put the speed up a bit, it stung a bit, but not major. One closer to the end of it not. Not worried at all now its under way. The only thing now is the hair coming out. But once thats over with it will certainly be onward and upwards for me too with my sword held high!! Just like you!!

joystik (281 )    4:53 pm, 15 Jun

 2790.         Hi Joystik :o)

          Yes the cold arm thing - can't believe I forgot about all that stuff. With us we were given a hot water bottle wrapped in a towel to put our hand on, to reduce that cold feeling. It was lovely!!!! If they didn't offer that to you, maybe take your own hottie in next time, it really is so much nicer, I refused for them to start until after I had the hottie at the ready LOL. Yes the bladder thing, I was told that too, I stayed up for 2-3 hours after the end, peeing often to get it out, drinking heaps of water all the time. Had no probs. As for time after treatment, I always went for the midpoint (halfway from beginning of injection to end, as my time to measure meds from. Hope that helps.

soniat-d (153 )    4:53 pm, 15 Jun

 2791.      Ah well Joystik

          The hair things going to happen, so try not to worry about it. Fine for me to say that of course, but then I have been there ;o) Enjoy the wigs ;o) Hope you find one that you love, makes all the difference. Have you stocked up on scarves/hats/beanies as well? I loved my sleeping beanies, kept my head nice and warm, still wearing them now as this wee hair I have not much help LOL. I never went around bald, wasn't my thing, always had something on, looked good, then it didn't seem so bad ;o) I got all mine from ;o)

soniat-d (153 )    4:59 pm, 15 Jun

 2792.         To Sonia

          If there is one phrase I cannot stand, it is "That's life" like your Mum says about your cancer. It is like saying you have a bad cold, but that's life, everyone has it. It is not everyone's life at all!! Cancer is not everyone's life by any means. Loved Luke's letter about the sword. I had a mad vision of all us ladies charging around with our swords held high, enough to scare off any cancers, tee hee.

dize5 (452 )    5:09 pm, 15 Jun

2793.      I hear you Dize5!

          Glad we're on the same wavelength - wondered for a bit if I was being oversensitive LOL!

soniat-d (153 )    6:22 pm, 15 Jun

 2794.         Hi Paula

          Glad Joshis a bit better - yay! I had a giggle at the image of Chris liking the bustier LOL Men eh?! Gotta love 'em ;o)

soniat-d (153 )    6:23 pm, 15 Jun

 2795.      Sonia

          I know - I asked him what he'd give me to walk down the street looking like that. In Auckland you wouldnt look twice. But here oh baby they'd be stopping in there tracks lol. xo Have a lovely evening. p.s he couldnt think of anything so I didnt do it :0)

paulaxx (76 )    8:23 pm, 15 Jun

 2796.         Bogeyi and Ryan

          I just cant get you out of my mind. Sending you hugs and thoughts xoxo

paulaxx (76 )    8:25 pm, 15 Jun

 2797.      Joystik

          Hoping your feeling ok. Was just thinking about you and your day. Gonna try and have an early night so nanite all and sleep well.

paulaxx (76 )    8:35 pm, 15 Jun

 2798.         thanks for the hugs paula


bogeyi (482 )    8:56 pm, 15 Jun

 2799.         Hi Janine

          I don't read the threads often but happened to see you on this one, i just want to wish you and Ryanlots of Huggs and best wishes, even though i haven't seen him since he was a baby when you brought him into donaghys... I am thinking of you guys and your family... Nikki

nikkers99 (832 )    8:56 pm, 15 Jun

 2800.              Hi Paula,I am feeling just great still, so hope i

          still feel this good tomorrow!! The district nurse rang from Invercargill at 6.30pm to see how I was, and she was surprised that I was having Meat and vegies for tea and had no side effects yet!You will win the photo competition look fabulous all the photos that I have seen, and especially with what you are going through. I imagine you would turn heads in Gore alright. You go to bed early and have a good restful sleep. I should be too actually, but I feel so good and so alive, but I must go soon and be good. Love and hugs to you all. More snow coming tomorrow night I think. Wonder if we will get some this time?? Nite nite. See you tomorrow.....

joystik (281 )    9:03 pm, 15 Jun

2801.          hi Nikki

          long time since i have seen you around, thanks for the still in auck anymore kids??

bogeyi (482 )    9:08 pm, 15 Jun

 2802.          Hi Janine

          I was in Auckland till about 21/2 yrs ago. Now back in home town of Dunedin. 1 boy Cameron Ryan (nearly 6), And 1 girl Anika (4). Sounds like you are havinga rough time of it !

nikkers99 (832 )    9:17 pm, 15 Jun

 2803.          Hi Joystik :o)

          It's the steroids making you feel that good - it was the same with me ;o) Make sure you come off them gradually when the time comes! That's why I had the sleeping pills for those first few nights while on steroids - otherwise it was impossible to fall asleep! Hope they gave you some ;o) Anyway, have a good night, hope things go well for you ;o)

soniat-d (153 )    9:34 pm, 15 Jun

 2804.          well im off to bed dont feel to good

          hopefully tomorrow will be better, night all..

bogeyi (482 )    9:40 pm, 15 Jun

 2805.          Yah Joystik,

          that you are still feeling good. Like Sonia said, try and wean yourself off the steroids. It is about Day 4 you start to crash but if you can cut them down rather than stop them dead it helps. Wow they gave you heaps of info. I just got given the paperwork and a quick chat from oncologist prior then on the day it was into action.

landylass (47 )    10:35 pm, 15 Jun

 2806.          Bogey and Ryan hope

          you will be coping better tomorrow. Big [[[[hugs]]]]].

landylass (47 )    10:35 pm, 15 Jun

 2807.          (((((hugs)))))) from me too Bogeyi

          So sorry you're down. Hoping you feel better tomorrow xoxoxox

soniat-d (153 )    11:03 pm, 15 Jun

 2808.          Morning Everyone

          Hope you are feeling a bit better today Bogey. You are constantly in my thoughts. Have a nice day. Thinking of you all

paulaxx (76 )    8:40 am, 16 Jun

 2809.          Hi Paula

          Its a gorgeous day here, though I hear a cold snap is on its way up the country - think I'll get a bit of weeding done outside now while not too cold ;o) How is everyone today? Joystik, how'd the night go?

soniat-d (153 )    10:07 am, 16 Jun

 2810.          Morning all.....well spent until about 2am looking

          round the room, first from one side then the other. Felt a bit icky about 1-1.30 is but it went off. Slept from 3 til about 6.30 then up and off for breakfast. No real signs of anything except HOT FLUSHES! ICK! But hey, could be worse. I asked about cutting down slowly off the steroids, but they really want me to take them exactly as direct the first time, so they can see how I react to it all first before they change stuff. I took my temp earlier but its fine at 36.4. Just the hot flush thing going on. She said the menopause thing would definately set in, but would probably reverse because of my age. He guess what I dont want it to reverse. Why would anyone want a double dose of menopause. Please can someone tell me??? But otherwise I feel fine and dandy, and am waiting for the distrct nurse to come and see for herself..Hope you are all well too.

joystik (281 )    10:37 am, 16 Jun

 2811.          Paula, how are you?? You better get your winter

          woolies back to the top of the drawer agin, I think there is snow coming for 3 days! At least we get it first before it builds too much. Those poor people up further still without power. And look at the depth of the snow, theres been no melting at all by the looks. Its not that nice here, although the sun is shing between the cold wintery showers. But hey I'm arm, thanks to the hot flushes!! Must be my new internal power saving device!! Hope Josh is feeling a little better today and keeping warm. Give him another hug from me. Sounds like wee Corrina is not doing so well. I said a prayer for her - dear wee girl. You have a good day, and We wil chat again soon.

joystik (281 )    10:41 am, 16 Jun

 2812.          Hi Bogeyi, hope you are feeling much better today.

          wrap up nice and warm and dont over do the work will you. It will all stil be there when you are well again, only a little more. Hows Ryan? Hope he is OK too. I was sad for you to see he needs another transplant, but what has to be, has to be with this kinda stuff doesnt it. I will be thinking of you lots as always, and send you some nice hugs form Southland too....

joystik (281 )    10:44 am, 16 Jun

 2813.          Hi Sonia, what are you up to today?? I've lost

          track of where you are with the radio therapy? Thats probably where you are...last week is it?? I asked about sleeping pills too but again they want see the reaction to taking the drugs as prescribed, before they change stuff, just so they know whats doing what. She was very intrigued that I knew so much and had so many questions about stuff that people dont normally know about?? Such is the support network on here and I cant thank you all enough for that. Knowledge is definately power. Hope you are doing ok anyway and I will chat more later. Hugs to you too.....

joystik (281 )    10:48 am, 16 Jun

 2814.          Hi landylass, seems things are working out well

          for your radiotherapy. Managing tofit in all the other things you are wanting to do as well. I guess today is pretty busy for you preparing for the wedding tomorrow. Hope it all goes well for you all, and it will no matter the weather. Look forward to a nice pic of you all dresse up as the mother of the Groom is it?? You wearing a hat? I love hats at weddings, only thing is you end up with a new hat for each wedding, and never wear them again. We have been to a lot of weddings in the last few years, so I guess romance is still alive and well amongst our friends and their children. The oncology nurse wouldnt let me alter any of the medication, this time. They want to see the reaction to the first treatment first and then do the alterations after that. But I have to phone her and let her know if there are reactions etc. So far its not sleeping and HOT flushes, but other wish I'm fine. Ohhh and escessive swallowing, but that will be to do with the lining sloughing off I guess. So its so far so good f

joystik (281 )    10:55 am, 16 Jun

 2815.          Hi boop, hows the coast today. Probably a nice

          sunny day there. Thanks so much for thinking about me yesterday , and sending me a special card. You're so kind and thoughtful, another of life's little treasures. Hope all is progressing well with the redecoration of the new home. It will be good when its all finished wont it. When do you actually move?? Just when its finished?? I feel good so far with this first tratment, so I hope it stays like that now. You have a good day wont you and dont over do things, theres another day tomorrow. Hugs to you too....

joystik (281 )    10:58 am, 16 Jun

 2816.          Oh Sonia...I just read up there you're in your...

          garden doing weeding..That was a bit blonde of me wasnt it. Actually I didnt get any blonde wigs down to try...I can be silly enough at the best of times. Did I tell you they got lost in transit by the courier? Hopefully they will arrive today. I've got a hairdresser all teeup to cut the hair when it gets drastic. I asked Lauren but it broke her almost in two, just the thought of it. For her it wont be a reality until she sees its all gone, probably for me either, Still makes me cry sometimes....But you emotions run pretty close to the surface at times. Oh and your Mum...please be strong and sont let those kinda flippant comments get to you. Gee "eat fruit"....we wouldn't have cancer if eating fruit stopped it! We spend more on fruit and vegies in this house than on anything else in a week. Take care and enjoy your gardening...its good for the soul..

joystik (281 )    11:04 am, 16 Jun

 2817.          Hi twinkies and Briyanna, hope you are feeling

          loads better today. I been thinking of you lots and sending you hugs to make you better. Hugs work better than sticky plasters some time dont they?? My first chemo has gone really well so far, without problems so I hope that continues. You keep yourself nice and warm wont you, and look after those wee ones of yours. Hugs to you all....

joystik (281 )    11:06 am, 16 Jun

 2818.          Hi everyone

          Just popped in for a catch up before heading to work...yet again!! Boy am I loking forward to next Tuesday! Joystik, you have been in my thoughts. So pleased it all went well and that you are feeling ok. I wish I had had all this knowledge before I went into it. Bogey I hope you are feeling better today. So sad when I read your posts.Big hugs to you and Ryan. Twinkies you are going through a hard time too, My love and thoughts are with you and Briyanna. Paula, can't wait to see your pics. That will be such fun. Makes me want to go back to the hairdresser and get more colours in mine. Hope Joshi is doing ok today. Love to you both.

maewest (75 )    12:39 pm, 16 Jun

 2819.          Landylass

          you have a ball this weekend. Hope the weather doesn't turn too nasty. Dunedin won't be too bad to stay for a few weeks. I am a Dunedin girl. Always love going back there. Was talking to my Dad this morning..he's 81 today..they had no snow there. Boop sounds like you are in for spell of wet weather over there. Stay warm..Hugs. And Sonia, hope tou are having a lovely day. You will be so looking forward to the end of the radiotherapy. Enjoyed looking through that website for headwear. Wish I had known about that. I ended up wearing Canteen scarves and caps most of the time.They were ok though. Had lots of different coloured ones.

maewest (75 )    12:45 pm, 16 Jun

 2820.       Hi everyone

          Thanks for the advise re the woollies. Got em on as we type. Glad you had an okish night??? Bumma about the flushes I can remember Sonia speaking of the menopause thing. Had no idea you poor darlings had to put up with that as well!!!Been on the ph to hosp Josh wasnt too good again last night and today not much better. On antibiotics again, they think hes fighting something! Couldnt access his port today I even had a go. He was bawling by the end of it, so eventually got some blood out of his arm. :0(. Poor baby. He seems a bit happier a new x-box game arrived today - yay. Sun is shining now Joystik what about you?? Sonia - do you ever stop! Your incredible now weeding. Dont get cold! Catch up later lots a love to you all xoxo

paulaxx (76 )    12:48 pm, 16 Jun

 2821.          Joystik one of the

          side effects I had was constipation. The oncologist told me to suck on frozen Kiwicrush. That sure helped. (Freezer in supermarket). Interesting to read that a few of you were given steriods to take right from the start. I wasn't offered any of those except one cycle when I was feeling particularly off..opted not to take them. Maybe its because of the different drugs they are using. I was on CAF. Thinking of you all....sorry if I missed are all in my thoughts. XXXX

maewest (75 )    12:49 pm, 16 Jun

 2822.       Hi Maewest

          Lovely to hear from you. Hope you are having a nice day.

paulaxx (76 )    12:50 pm, 16 Jun

 2823.       Joystik

          Poor darlin Corrina. Havent checked just now but last I heard she had gone home. Poor baby. She was so gorgeous up in the hosp when I met them all. Never went without a smile. my heart is aching for them.

paulaxx (76 )    12:52 pm, 16 Jun

 2824.          Hope Josh gets over this quickly

          Paula. Its not fair he is feeling miserable for so long! Hope Bogey and Twinkies are coping better today too. Chin up girls that your kids are getting treatment. A few years back there was a case of the cutiest little 5 year old ever here, being diagnosed with a brain tumour and given 3 weeks to live. From memory he lasted 2! It was just so sad as his mum was remarrying and had the wedding all planned and it went ahead a few days after he died. She has since had twins! We have never forgotten that wee boy and my kids still talk about him.

landylass (47 )    1:10 pm, 16 Jun

 2825.          Thanks maewest, all the advice has been invaluable

          I must say. I could easily have a constipation problem with already tsking iron, bet manage to have a bit of kiwi crush and I just love prunes. Found the glass of kiwicrush, annoyed my stomach last night so I didnt have any this morning. Usually have a glass full each end of the day, and I was a bit constipated this morning, but I wont be tomorrow. I'm working on it!! They only wanted me on steroids for 2 days just to see and will change it if I don't cope, next round. Worst thing is they keep you awake, and I love sleeping. I feel great though today, and its not just in my head, cos even people spoken too on the phone said the same, Long may it last. Its cold sleety rain here now and sorry Maewest, its coming your way. Do keep warm wont you. I been thiking about you too...

joystik (281 )    1:45 pm, 16 Jun

 2826.          Paula, thats horrible, poor little Joshi......

          time for lots more hugs. I hope he is better real soon. Did you have to go to Kew for the antibiotics or can you do them at home. The Oncology nurse really STRESSED at me about the infection thing yesterday. She said because you are having to have a Mega dose, you could have Mega side affects, and youmust be onto it where infection is concerned. If your temp is 37.8, and an hour later its 37.9, then you dont wait til morning to see whats happened, you come straight to Emergency, present your card and you will be admitted, or you could easily DIE! I amlost fell of the bed. I questioned her to see if she was serious, and YES SHE WAS. Kevin asked if some people could come to stay while I was on the chemo, and she said NO! She just wouldn't risk stuff like that at all. They are better to wait the 5 months til I am clear and then come. I have to agree now that I've thought about it. Its my life and its me I have to look out for now, even just for a little while. Mothers get used to putting themselves

joystik (281 )    1:52 pm, 16 Jun

 2827.          Oh missed a bit...but it just said....

          mothers get used to putting them selves last, but for now for me I have to be first for a while at least. Well, its heavy rain now, dark as, sleet, hail and has got cold....brrrrrr....Keep wee joshi warm and yourself too Paula. One day he will be better, so keep on and hugs all round...

joystik (281 )    1:54 pm, 16 Jun

 2828.          HI Joystik

          I know hun, those infections can be lethal!! I have a note on my front door now saying BUG FREE ZONE. Please do not enter if you have or have had any contact with the following, coughs, colds, chicken pox and so it goes on. We dont get many visitors now. But I dont care, Im in a world of my own anyway. He is still smiling, bless him!I really worry when hes not doing that.When at the chemist today I got some over the counter sleeping stuff, just cant do it on my own. Too much going on in my head. I really need sleep or its not good. So after tonight we'll see. Got really dark here too,big shower came thru now suns out again??? Funny day. love and hugs to you xoxoxo p.s pleased to hear you are looking out for you. Good on you!

paulaxx (76 )    2:00 pm, 16 Jun

 2829.          My neice was so unhappy when I told her she....

          wouldn't be able to come and stay, and couldn't really be convinced that I could need to be so Bug free. She said she had known a few people having chemo that just went out the same and did all the same things, but I tried to explain that everyone and every sort is so different and so is the treatment. My Aunty just had to go to the hospital, when she had chemo seven years ago, atke 2 pills andlie on the bed for 1/2 hour and go home. She had no side affects what ever. But his is different. I want to be here in 35 years time so I am not going to compromise my chances for anyone. Not even my neice who I love dearly and would love to see now, at 20 weeks pregnant with her first child.It would be great, but I can see her in a few months when I am clear of all this, and then I can see the new baby too... Sorry Paula, but I had to get that off my chest, and I know you understand fully.

joystik (281 )    2:08 pm, 16 Jun

 2830.          Sonia, are you still in your garden? You wouldn't

          be if you lived where I live. The weather is atrocious. Rani, hail, sleet, thunder etc, and snow to sea level later...Oh Yay that should help me cope withthe hot flushes!! There has to be a plus in there somewhere. I hope you're keeping warm enough out in your garden. (sounds a bit mothery doesn't it, but it can, your mother isnt here!!) Hear from you soon.

joystik (281 )    2:11 pm, 16 Jun

 2831.          Bumping

          for all ya lovely ppl...hope your all good... sending HUGE hugs and love your ways!!

chill_nz (4)    2:28 pm, 16 Jun

 2832.          Thanks're lovely too for thinking bout

          us all. Its lovely to think people ar sharing this winding road with us all....hugs to you too....

joystik (281 )    2:33 pm, 16 Jun

 2833.       your welcome


chill_nz (4)    2:34 pm, 16 Jun

 2834.          Joystik

          No need to say sorry. I do get it. I had to phone people (friends) to explain they just couldnt pop in with their kids when ever they felt like it. Friends and family do get it eventually. You have to be firm. Something Im not good at!! But they would feel so bad if they had a bug and passed it on without realising. You are actually thinking of them too! Well done, its not easy. Thinking of you xo

paulaxx (76 )    2:45 pm, 16 Jun

 2835.          Hi all.

          Hugs to you all. Sounds like a few of us are having a bad week! Briyanna is getting bloods done on Sunday so hopefully her WBC is up from the other day. She seems in good spirits at the moment. Running around the house at full speed. Tires quickly though as expected. She's looking forward to seeing her friend Koen (Lukes number 2 son, good friends from Mainly Music) tomorrow morning and I'm looking forward to some normal adult conversation! I ventured in to read Corrina's thread earlier and ventured right back out of there for obvious reasons. Life is so unfair at times.

twinkies_pn (0)    2:50 pm, 16 Jun

 2836.          NB, bugs and runny noses.

          I screen before anyone enters lol. And Briyanna wears a mask when anyones around (apart from family) or when we're going out. You have to take such precautions. You feel like a Nazi at times!

twinkies_pn (0)    2:52 pm, 16 Jun

 2837.          twinkies

          Glad to hear Briyanna is getting around without too much discomfort. Hope you enjoy your quality time with your friend/s. I find it hard to talk about much else except jolly old Cancer these days. Mind you it is the thing that is foremost on my mind! Have a great time. thinking of you

paulaxx (76 )    3:00 pm, 16 Jun

 2838.          Paula and twinkies, I feel much the same.....Once

          you have cancer you have to be so wise about it and you just have to say stuff the way it is. I'm no good at that either, but I am improving very quickly. I dont want to get really sick and possibly die, and none if my friends would want that either. Everyone has to be realistic, but it is hard at times, especially when its people you dont see often, and they had airfares and all arranged to give me such a lovely surprise. It was them that got the surprise. I think I know a lady in the right place at Air NZ to get at least some of their money back though. Life is not all a bed of roses. Glad wee Briyanna is feeling much better twinkies...made my day hearing that.

joystik (281 )    3:31 pm, 16 Jun

 2839.       Joystik

          the bed of roses in life has thorns! But we can still appreciate them from behind the window. Thats why I get so much from this thread.Being down here with no family etc, this has become my refuge!

paulaxx (76 )    3:41 pm, 16 Jun

 2840.          hi guys....thanks soooooooo much for the hugs

          and thoughts it means alot.Went out to sylvia park today as i have the $500 dollars of vouchers to spend, what a waste of time main shop is warehouse and then alot of home shops (kitchen things,candle place,body shop etc).Thought i was going to get some clothes for me and spoil myself..hahaha.. had to laugh i had $500 and i walked out with socks,undies and an umbrella. Then of all place we ended up at starship, Ryan was having leg pains last night (didnt think it was anything to worry about) but today he had very sore pain in his groin and on one of his privates so thought we are already in town so will call in, no infection all seems ok so just have to watch him. Otherwise our day has been good.

bogeyi (482 )    3:46 pm, 16 Jun

 2841.          Hi all, sorry Fridays always busy, wow its been

          busy again today! Only managed to do nearlt and hour of gardeneing before the rain returned, its pouring down now! Girls playing here with neighbour's girl - have to break up conflicts occasionally but most of the time they're great :o) Going to "crazy hair disco" this evening at Lydia's school - should be fun - made things for their hair while Emily was asleep. Not exactly crazy, just over the top accessories LOL

soniat-d (153 )    4:01 pm, 16 Jun

 2842.       Hi Joystik ;o)

          Oh that night of yours, brings back memories of my first night! Hence the sleeping pills ;o) I'd push that if I were you, you need your sleep! AS for the menopause, hey, I hear you! I said exactly the same thing "WHY would I want it to reverse?!" Having my second p now actually and thinking how great it was going without for months! Brent sure enjoyed it LOL! My weight gain was put down to the menopause largely (plus fluid retention) and after it reversed it did seem to be falling off, so I was thinking "Yay, well thats something" but I'm suddenly ballooning again - not happy about that! Maybe the bod takes a while to adjust. Think I'm being impatient again! As for the steroids the going off gradually that we did only happened on something like day 3 - I can't remember now what I did exactly - Landylass? How did you do it?

soniat-d (153 )    4:09 pm, 16 Jun

 2843.       Cont'd...

          ...Anyway I know I dropped to 1/2's instead of nothing, but ended up taking the same amount overall. Its cool we can help you know what q's to ask, love that. I was a chemo virgin LOL and learned lots of things the hard way. Glad we can help you :o)

soniat-d (153 )    4:09 pm, 16 Jun

 2844.       Hi Maewest, great to hear from you again

          Yes that headgear is cool eh?! I got the most awesome scarves then matched them up with earrings (delicate dangling ones, not big loud ones!) and looked pretty fab actually! They were much more comfortable around home than the wig, I still wanted to look good for Brent ;o) Helped me stay positive and happy, despite what I was dealing with!

soniat-d (153 )    4:15 pm, 16 Jun

 2845.          Bogey

          Glad to hear you got out and spent some of that dosh! Josh had pain in his nether regions too a while back - as if they dont have enough to go thru without some Dr having to suss out whats going on down there too. Poor him! Hope you have a decent night more hugs and loves to you all

paulaxx (76 )    4:33 pm, 16 Jun

 2846.          Hi Paula

          (Thunder and lightning here now - and the biggest hailstorm I've ever seen here in Auckland - decent large blocks of ice - cool :o) Hope the sleeping pills work for you ;o) Know what you mean with the mind never stopping - I get that too ;o) Hey have you have your mammogram yet missy?! Its funny about the sign you have, I told all my friends my email about need for caution with visiting me around middle few days of each 3 week chemo session and they just stopped coming altogether! Its like I's announced I had the plague, not cancer LOL Glad you find this thread a refuge - me too ;o)

soniat-d (153 )    4:34 pm, 16 Jun

 2847.       Hi Bogeyi :o)

          You're sounding a little better today, despite the surprise starship visit. Hope that was just a normal "boy thing" (of which I have no idea, having only girls!) The pathing that annoys me with cancer (outside the obvious) I was thinking today was how now, any twinge or ache that appears anywhere in the body suddenly sparks a panic attack of "it is or isn't it?" Have a sore area in my neck today, but its about where the radiation is, so, putting it down to that... its a tricky balance between self-awareness and paranoia!

soniat-d (153 )    4:46 pm, 16 Jun

 2848.          hi sonia much better today just a down day

          yesterday, paula hope you get some sleep have you tried that rescue remedy????may help gave some to kirsty as shes hormonal and stresses alot it helped her and i noticed it also helped her go to sleep earlier, thought i would mention it anyway. \Twinkies great to hear bryianna is feeling better.

bogeyi (482 )    5:27 pm, 16 Jun

 2849.          Bogey

          Thanks yes I have tried Rescue Remedy just forgot about it lately. Might need a bucket of the stuff. This sleeping capsule is called Unisom Sleepgels and apparently they contain the stuff that used to be in Benedral - cough medi. So should be interesting. Thanks for reminding me about the rescue drops tho. Might give some to Cass, she worries about Josh to. xo

paulaxx (76 )    5:57 pm, 16 Jun

 2850.       Sonia - UUUUMMMMM

          I picked up a brochure the other day about mammograms for women under 45. I even dreamt about telling someone I was going to have one, then told them they should do it too for Sonia.LOL. I havent forgotten. I promise.I beleive I need a referral for one. I wish I could just phone up and say I want one without having to go to the dr's. I should have mentioned it today since I was in there.. Have to go to Dunedin for it I think.

paulaxx (76 )    6:05 pm, 16 Jun

 2851.       Back to the Weather Sonia

          Hail the size of golf balls I hear. Glad you and the girls were inside!!

paulaxx (76 )    6:11 pm, 16 Jun

 2852.          Hi Paula, ours weren't THAT big!

          But usually they never get bigger than peas, today they were like clumps of peas up to almost a chicken nugget size I guess with some of them. Here's the girls having fun and here's their hail collections they had such fun a a huge warm shower together afterwards ;o) Nothing like what you guys see for sure, but a bit of excitement for us!

soniat-d (153 )    9:17 pm, 16 Jun

 2853.          Hi everyone

          Been so busy. It took me a while too catch up here. Bogey my thoughts are with you and what you are going through hugs for ryan it is hard to know what to say. Joystick thanks for the email hugs to your lovely husband. Paula and Joshi , hi, I hope you are feeling better Joshi and paula take care and have a rest it must be hell. Hi Sonia just looked at your hail stones they sure are big. The girls are pretty by the look of their bare feet they couldn't have been feeling the cold.What's happening with you sonia are you waiting for a scan?Hi maewest, you are so right we have had so much rain we have webbed feet. Hi twinkies glad Briayanna is a bit brighter. Hi landylass how much radiation do you have to have? You are such a busy person, hugs to you. Hi luke your few words were nice.Next wednesday we should be able to move , thank goodness. I don't care if I don't do any cleaning for another 12 months.

boop2 (106 )    10:42 pm, 16 Jun

 2854.          hi boop thanks for the thoughts you dont need

          to say anything, its enough that i can come on here and say what i want to say and i have support from people that i havent meet yet but i call my good friends. We are ok about it, it was just one of those days. Hope everyone is warm and well this morning, paula hows josh.

bogeyi (482 )    8:28 am, 17 Jun

 2855.       Hi boop2

          They put their shoes and coats on after I took that pic LOL - they were so excited they ran straight out! (we had the fire going inside so it was nice and warm :o) They asked for a big warm shower afterwards! It was good fun :o) Good morning everyone :o) How ar you all? Joystik - manage any more sleep last night?

soniat-d (153 )    8:31 am, 17 Jun

 2856.       Goodmorning

          I finally fot my fingers to work and have some photos for you. The first one was taken yesterday a bit of a b4 shot. The rest this morning. Ha and I thought Teddie was white. Thinking of you all. Love the photos thanks Sonia. Its snowing at the moment so dont know if I'll get to be a Goth today or not. Joshi seems a bit better -bad cough though. Back later xoxo

paulaxx (76 )    8:48 am, 17 Jun

 2857.          morning paula love the pics

          im so jealous, i know its cold but its sooooooooooooo beautiful.

bogeyi (482 )    9:22 am, 17 Jun

 2858.          Hi bogey

          I never get sick of the snow. I think its gorgeous too. How are you? Is Ryan ok today?? Oh and it is cold but you just wrap up. Makes winter really feel like winter.

paulaxx (76 )    9:35 am, 17 Jun

 2859.          yeah hes good said groin still a bit tender

          hes in bed playing xbox, yucky weather here so best place for him.We both had trouble sleeping hes was still awake at 11pm, and i tossed last night must be something in the air for all of us. How about your family how are they all doing.

bogeyi (482 )    9:39 am, 17 Jun

 2860.          Bogey

          We are all ok thks. You know how it is. The days are just rolling together.Is Ryan ok about going back in?

paulaxx (76 )    9:56 am, 17 Jun

 2861.          Boop

          I feel for you doing the moving thing. Moving every couple of years has been pretty stressful for us. Three years here so you just feel like your settling down and then off we go again. 11 months till we do it all again. Think I m going to be ruthless with stuff this time and throw out heaps. Thanks for your caring. Take care and have a good day

paulaxx (76 )    10:00 am, 17 Jun

 2862.          Good morning everyone, must have slept ok....

          didn't wake up til 8.45am. I had woken a couple of times in the night when it was hailing. The lawn and everything is white this morning but not snow, just thick hail. Still looks quite nice though, but it is going very quickly, as the sun is shining and there is a wee breeze too. Hope you are all keeping warm and not being too busy. Kevin has gone to paint the ceilings again, at the other house, so I'm not going to do much. My friend is bringing the wigs out today, so I will be able to have a wee play later. I think there are 12 to try. Are you in your Gothic gear ready for your photos Paula?? You will look stunning I'm sure. How are you Joshi?? and Ryan?? and Briyanna? Hope you guys are all doing ok. Just have a fun kids sort of day. Hugs to you all....

joystik (281 )    10:15 am, 17 Jun

 2863.          Hi Paula

          Love the photos - nice garden you have :o) Is today you're big day of gothic fame?! Have fun ;o)

soniat-d (153 )    10:31 am, 17 Jun

 2864.          paula think hes ok they are so strong

          they dont give to much away, had to laugh when he heard he said wahoo i get 2 new xbox games now as i promised if he went in i would get the 2 new games he wanted.boy they never forget a thing when its something they want.

bogeyi (482 )    10:40 am, 17 Jun

 2865.          Good morning ladies

          Hope the day is going well for you all. Paula you have got a real winter wonderland going on down there. The last of our snow disappeared yesterday with a north west wind. Lovely sunny day today. Paula hope your goth experience happens for you today...enjoy. Sonia that would be an unusual experience for your girls up there, wouldn't it? Looks like they were having such fun.

maewest (75 )    10:46 am, 17 Jun

 2866.          I'm about to get ready

          for yet another shift at work. Start 2pm. Meeting my boys (men!) for lunch. Will be good to have a catch up with them. I'm so looking for to Tuesday and having 3 days off. Must admit I'm starting to 'flag'. 11 days straight is just a bit too much! Hope Joshi, Ryan and Briyanna are having a better day today. Thinking of you all XXX

maewest (75 )    10:51 am, 17 Jun

 2867.          Yes

          think the Gothic thing is going to happen. Painted my finger nails a kind of deep burgundy so they look black. It will be fun. Its snowing again. Chris isnt happy about me driving to town, but I will be careful. Thanks to you all for thinking of me. I will make it fun.

paulaxx (76 )    11:00 am, 17 Jun

 2868.          Bogey

          Joshi is just the same with getting stuff. Its the only thing that gets them through I reckon. They deserve everything too! What games is he wanting. Josh just got Sims yesterday and is enjoying it.

paulaxx (76 )    11:01 am, 17 Jun

 2869.          Sonia

          Thanks for that about our garden. I feel like its so neglected at times. As its not our house either I have to keep up the maintenance so your comments were appreciated!! xo :0)

paulaxx (76 )    11:03 am, 17 Jun

 2870.       That didnt make sense

          I would do the maintenance if it was my house too. Its just I guess with all that goes on sometimes the outside is my last priority. Do you know what I mean? I do love it to look nice. But Chris is so busy on the farm its my job, all of it. Sometimes something has to give.????

paulaxx (76 )    11:06 am, 17 Jun

 2871.          I hear you Paula

          I rented for years before marrying Brent (so B4 kids ;o) and used to go overboard maintaining the gardens, even buying plants, bark etc (depending on what was needed). Anyway, I had a terrible experience in one place that I moved into 5 years after the home owner had last seen it (brother was renting it on her behalf) I did HEAPS to the garden, even fixed the paved patio (removing bamboo roots that were making pavers lift up) etc etc etc. The brother was thrilled! Anyway she came back 2 years later and FREAKED saying the house looked a dive to when she'd left it, hate to think what the first tenants must have done to it, as it looked infinately better than when I moved in! Anyway, with kids its so much harder to find the time, especially with a sick one?! I'm the same I have to do it all, Brent works long hours. Its lucky I enjoy doing it!

soniat-d (153 )    2:48 pm, 17 Jun

 2872.          Paula he wants xmen and path of neo

          your right this is the one thing that has given ryan so much pleasure in a very hard time of his life.I was thinking of getting the sims looks like something i would like??maybe i should get it so we can build it together in hospital.What do you think of it and which one has he got??

bogeyi (482 )    2:54 pm, 17 Jun

 2873.          Paula,your pics are just lovely, lots of snow....

          still none here but we have had more hail showers during the day. Its not building now though, the rain must be getting warmer when it comes, or the sun. I guess you will be out having your pics taken. Hope it all goes well. My friend just arrived with the wigs. Only 4 of the 12 came, so I had a wee play but its quite hard to even fit them on with so much hair still. I can tell which ones I like though, and the ones I dont. Hope Josh' cough improves during the day.

joystik (281 )    3:01 pm, 17 Jun

 2874.       OK everyone,

          I can't believe I'm posting this (rather embarrassing!) but OK here's me now without the wig! The camera is harsh, I look slightly better than that in the mirror anyway :o/!!! See? I have hair! Can't quite carry it off the same as Kylie Minogue #sigh# but sure looks better than bald!

soniat-d (153 )    3:02 pm, 17 Jun

 2875.       Hi Joystik ;o)

          Hey why don't you cut your hair short now, so its not such a huge transition? That's what I did - glad I did! How are you today?

soniat-d (153 )    3:04 pm, 17 Jun

 2876.          Hi bogeyi, you sound lots better today....

          which is good. Did you get that hail like Sonia had? Do you live near her or completely different part of the city?? I dont really know Auckland at all. Some of those Sim games are good. We have the Sim Park CD for the computer here and Lauren used to play it a lot, but now its Zoo Tycoon she likes better. Must be time to put some back on Trade Me I think. Keep warm and enjoy the rest of your day. Hugs for you and Ryan....

joystik (281 )    3:04 pm, 17 Jun

 2877.       According to her profile

          Bogeyi is about 30 minutes away by motorway, maybe 40 depending on how close she is to motorway. Hoping to meet you sometime bogeyi ;o)

soniat-d (153 )    3:06 pm, 17 Jun

 2878.          Sonia, you look just as beautiful as you did with.

          the wig. No different to Kylie really. The colour is lovely, and is you hair a bit wavy now too? Yes I think I need to get it cut shorter cos the wigs dont really fit with my hair as long as it is. Perhaps thats mondays job. How do I put a pic on here, I could show you how it is now, but I'm not up with the play really on this side of it.

joystik (281 )    3:08 pm, 17 Jun

 2879.          Gee thats from here to Invercargill, about 40 min.

          but not so many cars on the road!!

joystik (281 )    3:12 pm, 17 Jun

 2880.          Your hail stones were certainly impressive....

          Sonia, our lawn is white but just wee tiny ones, and more coming right now as wee speark. I havent taken any steroids or anti nausea today and have felt great all day, except for that yuk taste in your mouth and throat. But thats nothing. Phoned my Auntie (Mums sister) for her 82nd birthday today, and asked her about her cancer. She had bowel cancer 7 years ago, and was 5 of that and now has 5 broken vertebrae in her back, probably brought on by drugs used for another condition she had, polymyalgia. But interestingly, and something I had no knowledge of, her Dad died from Prostrate cancer, that was also in his spine, and his mother died from breast cancer at age 54, and his father also had prostrate cancer at 74. So there wasn't much chace of me escaping it was there!!

joystik (281 )    3:17 pm, 17 Jun

 2881.       Aww thanks Joystik!

          Yes its got a curl to it, bu then I always had that when short. The pic makes both Lydia and I look redder than it really is, we do have reddy highlights but its more brown than that! To upload a photo goto your "My Trademe" tab and select "my photos" near the bottom. Then click "upload photo" and in the box click on the "browse" button. It opens up your compuer files to you and you go through and click on the pic file to upload. When its done that (your pic can't be too big, if off your digital camera you'll need to shrink the pic first) open the photo and copy the http link and paste it in you post ;o)

soniat-d (153 )    3:18 pm, 17 Jun

 2882.       Re 2879

          I'm allowing for traffic - got to in Auckland LOL

soniat-d (153 )    3:19 pm, 17 Jun

 2883.          She was so interesting to chat to today and of....

          course is so sad about what has happened for me, after what happened to her baby sister, mu mum. Mum was 12 years younger than Auntie Delcie. So there is definately a strong cancer gene in that side of my family. I was so pleased I phoned her,cos at 82 there may not be lots more times and then you never get to ask questions about the family that only she knows now.

joystik (281 )    3:20 pm, 17 Jun

2884.          Sonia, see if this gives you a pic of me??

          The file number thingy is If I have done that correctly, that should be a pic of me this morning. Can you let me know if it is please. Then I will have learnt a new trick today.

joystik (281 )    3:32 pm, 17 Jun

 2885.          Yes Boop, you wont want to see any cleaning

          gear for at least 12 months. Hope you are having a nice day today on the lovely West Coast. The sun is shing just lovely here now but its has been pretty dodgy most of the day. Lots of hail on the lawn,but no snow. Hope Landylass is having a beaut day at the wedding. I think they would certainly have a winter wedding to remember. But, weddings are always fun no matter the weather. You stay dry and warm Boop and have a dy off will you??

joystik (281 )    3:35 pm, 17 Jun

 2886.          Sonia I think that will come out really little....

          wont it. How do I make it bigger??

joystik (281 )    3:37 pm, 17 Jun

 2887.          Maewest, you seem to be working too hard....

          just at the moment arent you?? Hope you're not over doing things. Whats your weather like today up there. Couldn't be worse than here today I dont think. You better have tomorrow off and relaxa bit I think. Hugs to you....

joystik (281 )    3:39 pm, 17 Jun

 2888.          Sonia, I just worked it out.....

          try That should be a bigger pic I think

joystik (281 )    3:43 pm, 17 Jun

 2889.          sonia joystick love the pics its nice to put

          a face to the name, sonia you look orgeous with short hair, was it short or long before. Yes we would be 30-40mins depending on the traffic and we will meet it is one thing i want to do is meet all you guys.

bogeyi (482 )    4:41 pm, 17 Jun

 2890.          Thanks bogeyi, just wondered if I had done it ....

          right. So I learned a new trick today, Sonia told me how to up load a pic on to here and it worked. I would love to meet you all in person too, but I feel like I know you already, and it is more interesting once you can see a pic of the person, then you really know who you are talking too.

joystik (281 )    5:03 pm, 17 Jun

 2891.       Hi Joystik ;o)

          Yay you got it to work! Hey your hair isn't THAT long ;o) If the wigs don't fit over that, they must be fitted too small (ie for a small head). It should be comfortable (ie not feel to tight) when the time comes, so make sure someone adjusts the one you do get for you on the big day - I'm assuming there's someone local specified to help you with that? I'm wearing my wig all day at the mo ;o)

soniat-d (153 )    5:11 pm, 17 Jun

 2892.       Still waiting patiently for a piccie of you Bogeyi

          ;o) No my hair was long before (have you toured my webpage yet?). It was short for a while back in my late teens (not this short LOL) but I had it blond then - Brent always said he never liked my hair when it was short (and that's why he never asked me out back then LOL) which is why the big haircut was scary for me - but it looked good (even though I'd started losing hair then) - he thought so too ;o). He's never seen me bald - ever!!! He's not thrilled with my hair this short, but he said its definately than before the colouring (I let him see me uncovered for the first time just a few weeks ago, and quickly covered up again when I saw his face drop!)!

soniat-d (153 )    5:17 pm, 17 Jun

 2893.          Sonia, its not that long but it is quite thick...

          kinda hair, and because the wigs are short, its hard to fit them on over my hair and see what they are like cos my hair is hanging out round the edges, if you get what I mean. Do you know what your wig was called?? The one I like best out of the ones that came is called 'Date'. She ordred 11 but they didn't have all the colours etc and only 4 different ones came. Two of them I didn't like at all. One was like a granny!! But in saying that, I think it would be much nicer in another colour.

joystik (281 )    5:20 pm, 17 Jun

 2894.       Hi all you beautiful people

          Yeah Bogey wheres your photo????? Sonia You look gorgeous! Truely!!! I love your hair - you are one of those people who suit is long or short! Joystik - That is a lovley photo of you too, your just how I imagined you would look. Your obviously as beautiful a person inwards as you are outwards. Thanks for letting us see you. Ok here goes.... The gothic chick is on her way to your pc... Remember - these ones were taken with my digital - so red eye still. These arent the ones taken by a professional.

paulaxx (76 )    5:46 pm, 17 Jun

 2895.       Hi Joystik ;o)

          I hope the other ones are coming? Don't make up your mind till you see some more if you can. Can you tie your hair back in a ponytail? Thats what they did with me when I tried on mine (mine was still long then). Can't remember the name of mine sorry, but I'm getting it reconditioned again this week so I'll ask them when I drop it in ;o)

soniat-d (153 )    5:50 pm, 17 Jun

 2896.       Thanks Paula :o)

          Its not that great looking but thank you - I appreciate the complements! Looking forward to the gothic pics :o) So will your hair stay this way till next haircut??!?

soniat-d (153 )    5:51 pm, 17 Jun

 2897.       It was fun

          I had a kinda crystal ball to look into... It was nice to escape for a couple of hours. Cant really see how clever she has been with my hair - but the professional ones will. What a hoot.

paulaxx (76 )    5:52 pm, 17 Jun

 2898.          Sonia

          MMMMM - yes the hair will stay this way for a while. Had to go to the supermarket after and felt a little overdressed. Even with jeans on. LOL She wants me to do it again for judges in July, different look next time.

paulaxx (76 )    5:54 pm, 17 Jun

 2899.       Classic pics Paula ;o)

          You look gorgeous (no surprise there!)! I had a laugh at you going around the supermarket like that - did you catch the men staring?! LOL

soniat-d (153 )    5:57 pm, 17 Jun

 2900.      Grabs the hundy

          Hundy...Hundy...Hundy...Hundy...Hundy...Hundy... Hee hee hee Did I get it?!

soniat-d (153 )    5:57 pm, 17 Jun

2901.    You got it

          I was too embarassed to look to see if they were looking. I got her to put it up a bit! Still not the normal everyday do. Tee hee and thanks your a hun.

paulaxx (76 )    6:00 pm, 17 Jun

 2902.       Just felt some new lumps

          In low blast treated area. Bummer! Now I'm officially scared! (And glad I have that mammogram coming up)

soniat-d (153 )    6:40 pm, 17 Jun

 2903.       Oh Sonia

          Can you see someone about them Monday? Try not to worry. Could hormones play a part with these things too or am I way off track.

paulaxx (76 )    7:04 pm, 17 Jun

 2904.       Paula, your pics are look beautiful

          as a goth chick. Showed Lauren and she thought so too. Bet you got a few stares in the supermarket though. Hows wee Josh tonight?? Is his cough better? Hope so. Doesn't look like it will be a much better day tomorrow weather wise than it has been todayKeep nice and cosy warm wont you. Hugs to you all

joystik (281 )    7:54 pm, 17 Jun

 2905.       Bogey

          Just got Sims Breaking Out. Only got it yesterday, so tomorrow will have a play with Josh. Gotta take some time out for Cass too, she told me tonight her teddy had cancer. I said Oh No, and she said yes I had to leave her in the hospital on her own the first night. I siad how did you feel about that Cass she said Terrible. So all night she's been giving bear chemo, blood and lots of plasters. Dear wee thing. Might be playing hospitals with her tomorrow :0/ Hope you are having a good night

paulaxx (76 )    7:56 pm, 17 Jun

 2906.       Joystik

          Thank you and Lauren very much. It was a quick trip round the supermarket thats for sure. Love to you both and Kevin too xo

paulaxx (76 )    7:57 pm, 17 Jun

 2907.       Hi Paula

          Oh poor sweet Cassie - what an amazing thing for her to imagine - I can see why, must be so hard for the sibling (((((hugs))))) to them both. Hope her teddy gets better soon xxx

soniat-d (153 )    8:00 pm, 17 Jun

 2908.       Sonia, I can tie my hair back just...but its the

          sides as well that arent really under the wig, and the top of my hair is springy as well. That all sounds rather strange doesnt it. The thing is with my hair, how it looks in the picture is just how it is. I dont blow dry it or anything it just looks like that - its sort of 'big hair' I suppose. But I thik I will need to get it cut before I can see what these wigs are going to look like. There is only one out of the 4 that I like in this lot. Sorry you are unhappy about finding more lumps. Try not to think about them and see what happens after the weekend.

joystik (281 )    8:02 pm, 17 Jun

 2909.       Hormones is a good theory ;o)

          But they're hard as, which I know full well. They're pea size best guess - I could try and push for Monday, but its only two days till Wednesday - pretty sure they'll tell me to wait till then, with the strikes on and all, doubtful I can get a public scan.

soniat-d (153 )    8:02 pm, 17 Jun

 2910.    Oh well Joystik

          Having one you like is a good start - I didn't like any of the others I tried on ;o)

soniat-d (153 )    8:05 pm, 17 Jun

 2911.    Oh Man

          You poor darling! I feel for you!!!!

paulaxx (76 )    8:06 pm, 17 Jun

 2912.    Sorry Joystik

          Joshi is ok, upset tummy,yucky cough. Just gotta watch him carefully. Doesnt help that two young guys from same ward as Josh passed away last week. And baby C. You always hear about the ones that arent doing well, or dont make it. Well people are going to hear about ALL of us one day!! THE SURVIVORS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

paulaxx (76 )    8:09 pm, 17 Jun

 2913.       Sonia

          I know how sad but cute!! I asked if she thought yellow bear was going to be alright, she looked at me honestly and we just dont know! She obviously so gets this whole thing. Or I've been talking around them too much! :0/

paulaxx (76 )    8:10 pm, 17 Jun

 2914.       Paula, the dear little girl. I suppose she hears

          so much talk about cancer and stuff all the time. I'm sure bear will be ok real soon. Give her and bear and Josh a hug from me. YesI don't think Bay C is doing so well just now is she. Did you see the recent pics from Hanmer during the week?? They are really nice. Yes you are right....we are the SURVIVORS!!

joystik (281 )    8:18 pm, 17 Jun

 2915.       Sonia, are you having your mammogram on

          wednesday??? It will seem like a long time till then but its not too bad really, just try not to worry. Easy for me to say though, I cant feel the lumps that you can. The Surgeon said to me when I decided to have both breasts off, that he felt it was the best option, given the circumstances, because you can worry so much about the remaining breast that it can almost give you cancer. It was certainly the right decision for me. Hugs to you sonia....keep your chin up luv!!

joystik (281 )    8:21 pm, 17 Jun

 2916.       I'm off now to watch the I will say..

          good night and sweet dreams to you all, and will see you all again tomorrow. Hope you all have a pleasant evening. I should be going to bed too...feel a bit icky tonight I think!! But hey, I'm ok. I've felt worse than this before. Hugs to you all and all the kids.....

joystik (281 )    9:00 pm, 17 Jun

 2917.    Yes I know Joystik

          Its only a few days, not the end of the world! I've been working on my poem... "Nite Joystik, you seem to be coping well with the chemo so far - that's excellent ;o) Yay for anti-nausea meds :o)

soniat-d (153 )    9:15 pm, 17 Jun

 2918.       Hi all.

          We've had a good night tonight. Briyanna is still happy and enjoying her time at home. Unfortunately Luke didn't make it down this weekend as one of his boys has a cold (funny we were talking about this last night!) so hopefully another week. Anyway, I got a poem emailed to me today that I thought I'd share.

twinkies_pn (0)    9:53 pm, 17 Jun

 2919.       ...........The Chosen Mothers...............

          Most women become a mother by accident, some by choice and a few by habit. Did you ever wonder how mother's of children with life threatening illnesses are chosen? Somehow, I visualize God hovering over earth selecting His instruments for progagation with great care and deliberation. As He observes, He instructs His angels to make notes in a giant ledger....... "Armstrong, Beth, son, patron saint Matthew" Forrest, Marjorie, daughter, patron saint Cecilia" Rutledge, Carrie, twins, partron saint Greard."

twinkies_pn (0)    9:54 pm, 17 Jun

 2920.       ...

          Finally, He passes a name to an angel and says, "Give her a child with cancer." The angel is curious. "Why this one, God? She's so happy." "Exactly," smiles God, "Could I give a child with cancer a mother who does not know laughter? That would be cruel." "But, does she have patience?" asks the angel, "I don't want her to have too much patience or she will drown in a sea of self-pity and despair. Once the shock and resentment wears off, she will handle it." "I watched her today," said God. "She has that feeling of self-independence that is so rare and necessary in a mother. You see, the child I'm going to give her has it's own world. She has to make it live in her world and that's not going to be easy." "But Lord, I don't think she believes in you," said the angel. "No matter, I can fix that. This one is perfect. She has just enough selfishness." The angel gasps, "Selfishness? Is that a virtue?"

twinkies_pn (0)    9:54 pm, 17 Jun

 2921.       ...

          God nods. "If she can't separate herself from the child occasionally, she'll never survive. Yes, here is the woman I will bless with a child less than perfect. She doesn't realize it yet, but she is to be envied. She will never take anything her child does for granted. She will never consider a single step ordinary. I will permit her to see clearly the things I see....ignorance, cruelty, prejudice....and allow her to rise above them." "And what about her patron saint" asks the angel, his pen poised in mid-air. God smiles and says..."A mirror will suffice." .......... Hope you all are having a good night. :-)

twinkies_pn (0)    9:55 pm, 17 Jun

 2922.    OK here's my first draft of the poem

 No, I'm not writing myself off just yet, just wanted to have something like this ready on the backburner, Helps me deal with my thoughts somehow ;o) So hmmmm what do you think???

soniat-d (153