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CANCER SUXS!!!!!!!!                                                                                      Jump to page  2  3  4  5  6  7  8  9  10  Last page


          Yep, the monster looks like its back, and brought its kiddies too. I haven't even finished my radiation and 6 new lumps found, biopsies taken, results tomorrow afternoon. What a thing to find out on my birthday.... All you women get a mammogram! Breast exams are a waste of time!!! Wish me luck...

soniat-d (153 )    3:32 pm, 18 Apr

 2.                        oh sonia, i've followed your journey

          but never posted before. I feel for you and wish you all the best for tomorrow.

mimi1 (224 )    3:33 pm, 18 Apr

 3.                        it sure does.

          I'm sorry to hear that, I'll send some good vibes your way. More and more people i know are getting cancer. Scary... Although on a good note, a good portion survive.

lostcorz (134 )    3:33 pm, 18 Apr

 4.                        well first of all Happy Birthday

          and good luck with beating the monster!

michellee (167 )    3:33 pm, 18 Apr

 5.                        Sending you good vibes sonia

          And a very happy birthday to you. Sorry to hear about your results,..

solitaire3 (186 )    3:33 pm, 18 Apr

 6.                        I wish you heaps of luck.

          Do finish your birthday and celebrate that, sending lovley birthday wishes, and positive thoughts.

starflower (82 )    3:33 pm, 18 Apr

 7.                        aw shite good luck

          thoughts are with you

mommag (56 )    3:34 pm, 18 Apr

 8.                        absolutely all the best

          take care of you!

traintracks28 (23 )    3:34 pm, 18 Apr

 9.                        Im sorry

          :o( Keep us posted. Thinking of you. xx

brenda2002 (301 )    3:34 pm, 18 Apr

 10.                       sorry to hear that sure does suck

          my mum has lost her mum and some brothers and sisters to it and another one is on the way out as well...(((HUGS))) and good vibes coming your way..

superbitsh (408 )    3:34 pm, 18 Apr

 11.                       arrgh you must be beside yourself

          you will fight it with all you've got no doubt!!

tubalub1 (3)    3:35 pm, 18 Apr

 12.                    aww sonia

          I'm really sorry to hear that. I have read your threads and admired your courage and I truly hope you can overcome this new hurdle. Wishing you all the luck in the world and hard as it seems right now, try and stay positive. We'll all be here pumping for you.

anika8 (95 )    3:35 pm, 18 Apr

 13.                       all the best

          to u and good luck

giggles69 (351 )    3:35 pm, 18 Apr

 14.                       Goshdarnit...

          what a nerve, keep fighting and remain positive and Have a Happy Birthday! Kick that thing to the curb!

scooby614 (368 )    3:36 pm, 18 Apr

 15.                       i to have followed your journey as well sonia,

          i wish all the very best for your results tomorrow!{{{{{{{hugs}}}}}}happy birthday hun and im thinking of you.xx

gillespie2 (155 )    3:36 pm, 18 Apr

 16.                    Awww crap!!! That does suck!!

          All the best - I hope you will overcome in the end, and see your kids grow up. Blessings.

alimick (107 )    3:38 pm, 18 Apr

 17.                       Bugger!

          Damn dirty thing! Well Gurl Stay Positive! Sending you BIG *snogs* and Birthday Wishes!

scottyc3 (163 )    3:38 pm, 18 Apr

 18.                    Thanks Guys :o)

          Balling my eyes out but hey, it aint over till the fat lady sings (keeps my mouth shut LOL). What is it with birthdays??? Found my original lump on my husbands birthday!

soniat-d (153 )    3:40 pm, 18 Apr

 19.                       I'm not exactly sure why I put a smiley (above)

          Looks a bit incongruous. Just meaning to send encouraging thoughts.

alimick (107 )    3:41 pm, 18 Apr

 20.                       awww Sonia I dont know what to say

          not a lot I can say ...except happy birthday..and even that is not the right thing to say right now.xxxxx chrissi

cloffie (47 )    3:43 pm, 18 Apr

 21.                       Positive vibes....

          coming your way... have just had a look at your profile, what a gorgeous couple of kiddies you have. I was diagnosed with breast cancer in 2004, and last year a good friend also! I do hope with all my heart for a positive outcome for you. (((hugs))).

darkraven1 (115 )    3:44 pm, 18 Apr

 22.                    oh geez I've just posted in your birthday thread

          now I read this and it really does stink .. I had no idea your nasties were back.I feel so disappointed and tearful for you Sonia.

winnie15 (107 )    3:47 pm, 18 Apr

 23.                    Thanks everyone - I keep reading

          So lovely to get all your kind thoughts - My girls are being dropped back here soon - will spend quality time with them when they do. Just want them here NOW so I can hug them to pieces ;o)

soniat-d (153 )    3:47 pm, 18 Apr

 24.                       Hey sonia.... Big Hugs coming to you

          from this part of the shore... Sucks the bananas big time... But Happy Birthday, hope your girls and hubby make it a bit of a better one for you..

pcj (79 )    3:47 pm, 18 Apr

 25.                       Sitting here having a wee cry for you,

          hoping hubby doesn't notice. "What's wrong with you?" "Err *choke* someone I don't even know *sob* has got cancer, and ......." *can't carry on cos of sobbing*... Lol, eek the ads just came on... good he went to the kitchen instead of looking over here. Lol!!

alimick (107 )    3:47 pm, 18 Apr

 26.                       Well that just sucks

          for you Sonia.... will keep my fingers crossed for you. on a brighter had my last chemo round today. I feel like I've been let out of prison and can start planning life again. Big hugs to you Aries buddy

sunbeamnz (72 )    4:18 pm, 18 Apr

 27.                       Aww Hun rough going

          so sorry to hear that,hang in there Sweetie and keep giving it a darn good fight.All the very best to you and your gorgeous family.

heavensentangel (1553 )    4:20 pm, 18 Apr

 28.                       hope things

          go ok for you. My mum had breast cancer last year and had chemo, her hair is starting to grow back now though. She has regular checks to see if it's still at bay and that is avery tense time for all of us. Good Luck to you and keep fighting!!!

tragicnic (155 )    4:21 pm, 18 Apr

 29.                       ohh Sonia

          sooo sorry to hear the news - not impossible to beat though - we are all with you here too. ((HUGS))

manukarose1 (135 )    4:22 pm, 18 Apr

 30.                       Ok heres a thought

          what about if we ban birthdays from now on. Seriously tho, Happy Birthday and Good luck on fighting the monsters.

kimmie1 (1 )    4:23 pm, 18 Apr

 31.                       Yup it sux alright......

          Really sorry to hear your news Sonia- I'm really sorry your birthday has been tarnished with this news too- I've been following your threads, and thank you for sharing your journey with us. I wish you well. (By the way, you and your cherubs look stunning in your profile photo). Kia kaha

arjl (41 )    4:28 pm, 18 Apr

 32.                       oh sonia

          that really sux. Keeping my ingers crossed for you. :o(

doodles (87 )    4:30 pm, 18 Apr

 33.                    That monster!!!

          Dont give up for nothing my friend!! i wish you all the very best !! I have a daughter that got Large B_Cell lymphoma Aggressive and was not operable I think they caught it just in the nick of time before it got into the bone marrow. I know what you must be feeling and I will pray for a swift recovery for you.

dondonsplace (48 )    4:40 pm, 18 Apr

 34.                       I really feel for you

          I lost my only sister at age 46 to bowel cancer, she was a single mother of six children, one disabled. It's a bastard of a disease. God bless you.

robin23 (642 )    4:42 pm, 18 Apr

 35.                       Take care #1

          and all the best for the road ahead.

chuchibet (4)    4:44 pm, 18 Apr

 36.                       Sonia

          It aint over till its over. Just keep on fighting and fighting. I know you get tired, and worn down with treatment but there are survivors out there who have beaten the odds. My son is one and I am sure that with your guts and determination to carry on that you can be one too. Good Luck and God Bless. Lyndsey

anselmiavaries (148 )    4:50 pm, 18 Apr

 37.                       It really does sux.

          Girl from work came intoday to tell us she has a very rapid growing type of bowel cancer and they think it may be in her lungs as well.

chookpan (22 )    4:52 pm, 18 Apr

 38.                    orrrrrrrrrrr soniat darl

          you have me in tears for you, i am so sorry to hear that hugs hugs hugs i havent a clue what else to say to you but please except more hugs

pomegal (91 )    4:55 pm, 18 Apr

 39.                       oh sonia i don't know what to say

          just sending you hugs and will be thinking of you - booky xx

bookend (46 )    4:59 pm, 18 Apr

 40.                       HUGS

          wish I knew what to say :-( thinking of you

keenkiwi (531 )    5:11 pm, 18 Apr

 41.                       so sorry

          to hear your news sonia i have followed your threads and always admired your positive attitude try and stay strong, easier said than done i know, and go and have big cuddles with your little girls and hubby

aggy1 (118 )    5:17 pm, 18 Apr

 42.                       ditto with all above

          look after yourself and the very best of luck and best wish's to you and your family. Have a fantastic birthdayxxxxxxxxxxx

linda75 (501 )    5:18 pm, 18 Apr

 43.                       I am so sorry Sonia

          Hope you beat the bastard!

cap (378 )    5:19 pm, 18 Apr

 44.                       Thanks all

          Groceries, flowers and meal been dropped off. Girls playing happily :o)

soniat-d (153 )    5:53 pm, 18 Apr

 45.                       Words fail me Soniat-d....

          What a terrible blow to such a positive and courageous person as you. I can only wish you well and hope that you are able to get past this awful time. Blessings and love coming your way from me. In Life, Light & Love....Marie xx

angel9991 (41 )    6:04 pm, 18 Apr

 46.                       Sonia

          hugs & love to you and your family, my thoughts are with you, keep being as strong and cheerful as you have been up to now xx

lisah8 (282 )    6:04 pm, 18 Apr

 47.                       Sonia i am so sorry

          This has happened to my Auntie as well first one lump and she had it removed. Then years later another two lumps one in each breast so she told the surgeon to take them both, this was earlier this year and she is hopeful that will be the end of it. My Mum has mammagrams and is of course worried about getting breast cancer. She said if that happens she will demand both of them be removed. Good luck and i hope and pray its not all bad news for you.

pxtboy (35 )    6:10 pm, 18 Apr

 48.                    Sonia..Sorry to hear your news.

          You keep fighting it girl and dont give up. You've been a helluva trooper & an Inspiration all the way and your Family must be so proud of your strength and determination in what has probably been the Biggest fight of your life.! Keep it up and I hope you BEAT the Bugga! Good Luck xxxxxx

jnmal03 (629 )    7:02 pm, 18 Apr

 49.                       Sonia

          My thought are with you. great big hugs to you and your family xxxxx

kewlkiwi (42 )    7:11 pm, 18 Apr

 50.                       Awww Sonia

          ((big hugs)) to you and your family, keep fighting the monster. We are fighting it at the moment too, sucks big time. Best of luck with your results, will be thinking of you.

stormbaby (2250 )    7:16 pm, 18 Apr

51.           Best wishes to you too Stormbaby

          I've decided I'll just deal with it as it comes, one step at a time. We have our neighbours daughter sleeping over here tonight in Lydia's room - its a nice distraction.

soniat-d (153 )    8:34 pm, 18 Apr

 52.           hiya sonia

          big hugs to you and your family, hope all goes well with the results.

bogeyi (482 )    8:39 pm, 18 Apr

 53.        ((( hugs )))

          so sorry to hear this sonia.

joybells63 (1095 )    8:47 pm, 18 Apr

 54.           what a setback sonia, but one I believe you can

          overcome. Take care and I hope your results are good and this is just a blip along the way in a long and healthy life

nicki5 (109 )    8:47 pm, 18 Apr

 55.           heaps of luck sonia

          was reading article about Belinda Emmett today in Ozzie Womans Day, inspiring story. Keep fighting and dont let the bugger win. Cancer does suck - big time.

minx3 (0 )    8:50 pm, 18 Apr

 56.           My mother has just gone

          through the same thing. Found out last year she had breast cancer and a month ago finished surgery and reconstruction. Luckly got to it early, but not early enough to save them. us girls, 3 of us, have all been checked and will now go religously(sp). Scared the hell outta me! Good luck to you, don't let it keep you down EVER! Fight to the end, my thoughts are with you :)

maqi (14 )    8:53 pm, 18 Apr

 57.           Oh Sonia, that has

          really choked me up. You are such an inspiration in your fight to overcome this and if anyone deserves to get through it, you do. I bought a t-shirt for you and others, and who knows, maybe me, yesterday after at last finding one that would fit. We need a lot more research into this beast. Please know that you have a lot of support here.

brish (314 )    8:55 pm, 18 Apr

 58.           big hugs........

          thinking of you Sonia...

cake4 (155 )    9:00 pm, 18 Apr

 59.           It's not easy to think of all the positives

          at a time like this. I was reading your posting in LindaT's thread, and I felt for you then. I live in fear of my bowel cancer coming back, so I can imagine your thoughts. Sometimes it's hard not to feel sorry for ourselves, but that's just a waste of our emotions. All I can say is get positive, and don't shut out those around you. They may find it difficult to talk about your cancer with you, so you will need to do it for them. I wish you all the best, and will offer prayers for you. May God give you the strength in the fight to regain your health. God Bless.

deekayem (314 )    9:19 pm, 18 Apr

 60.           You don't me from Adam

          but please believe me when I say that my thoughts are with you. All the best for the fight ahead!!!!

mctshirt (152 )    9:28 pm, 18 Apr

 61.           Thanks again to all

          I can't sleep, so have got up again. Should've taken that sleeping pill I considered after all! This MB is awesome - as they say, "A problem shared is a problem halved" ;o) It's wonderful to have so many distant aqaintances and strangers take the time to send such lovely messages :o) And to first time message senders a special helloo! ;o) My dh just said he's shocked "but at least its all in the same area"... yes that's something! Maybe I'll be getting that tummy tuck I always wanted after all LOL (ie for skin/muscle reconstruction if they cut the affected area all away which I'll be wanting them to do). Hey, I have no breast left they anyway, so I say hack away guys! Just realised I'm not sure if I'm still supposed to be having my next radiation tomorrow morning - think so...

soniat-d (153 )    1:28 am, 19 Apr

 62.           Sorry to hear that

          Sending you many warm vibes and a very happy birthday fight this with all you've got gurl!!! Good luck and best wishes to you and your family.!!

shortii (59 )    1:37 am, 19 Apr

 63.           Awww Sonia

          I have been following your progress through your posts and, like everyone else, I had hoped that you were cured and the light was at the end of the tunnel. You are a fighter, you have a lovely young family who are worth fighting for. I hope you managed to get some sleep and I am sending positive thoughts your way.

kiwibunz (342 )    9:26 am, 19 Apr

 64.           sonia

          your attitude is fantastic. I am so disappointed for you and your family. I do hope that your next op is successful and that you get better and better each day after that. You really put a "face" to cancer for me, and I think you are doing all the women on here a favour by posting your experiences on the TM message board. Hugs to you!

doodles (87 )    9:36 am, 19 Apr

 65.           Oh Sonia I was just wondering how things

          were going for you. My brother and his wee boy are both off having their respective chemo this morning and once again the unfairness of it all seems overwhelming. Keep your chin up girl - you really are an inspiration!

wasala (750 )    10:52 am, 19 Apr

 66.           Sonia,

          What a bugger, hon. Have been following your story on here. My Mum had this darstadly disease 10 years ago, and has managed to win her battle so far. I know you will, too!!! I know that the hardest part is looking at your babies and thinking what the future holds. I had Melanoma diagnosed at Chrissy and all I could think about was my children. I am so p*ssed off with this disease!! The big C seems to be everywhere at the moment. What is causing it all, I wonder? I wish they'd just find a damn cure already, and something thats not painful to endure like chemo. I know with your spirit and your loving family and all of us sending our love and prayers your way, this thing will go away!! Keep us posted. You will beat it. Love Charlotte.

ceq (368 )    11:00 am, 19 Apr

 67.           gentle bumps for


bogeyi (482 )    11:12 am, 19 Apr

 68.        Hey Sonia

          Don't ARE a survivor. Its in your profile quote, in every word you post and every fiber of your being. We who have never even met you can see it, so don't you go forgetting that it is there! Kia Kaha.

sonja2 (303 )    11:17 am, 19 Apr

 69.        Thanks so much everyone

          Yes its devastating at the moment - didn't sleep too well (will take a slepping pill tonight I think!). Like last time, I know what it is before they tell me, so dealing with that already. Meeting Thursday afternoon to get the low-down. Not looking forward to that really, but I do know that this stage is the worst - imagining all sorts. Here I am thinking, thinking... and feeling twinges in my neck and other armpit (mind plays bad games at times like this). My current plan is to request another op to cut them all out again (use tummy for "parts" if need be), whether than be after radiation I don't know. As chemo clearly didn't work I don't imagine I'll be in for that again (unless there's something stronger they haven't told me about). Glad now I have health insurance, even if they wouldn't pay the chemo. Guess its just wait and see what is said tomorrow... Thanks again everyone :o)

soniat-d (153 )    11:44 am, 19 Apr

 70.           sonia, don't know how to express myself

          my heart goes out to you. Be strong and enjoy each moment you feel well. Hope to see you posting for a long time to come :)

omahanna (116 )    11:47 am, 19 Apr

 71.           Oh Sonia

          Just came across this thread, you sound amazingly together considering. I honour you for that. Wouldn't it be great if they could use your tummy tho?? Helluva way to get a tummy tuck though, lol. My prayers and best wishes are yours today girlie. I don't even know you, but I care!! (( hugs to you and yours ))

ruthies (28 )    11:49 am, 19 Apr

 72.           Sorry to hear the sad news........

          I remember the day my sister told me her cancer was back, it hit you even harder than the first time. I believe you will beat this to the end with your attuide & your lovely family. Big hug to you & your family.

qvr43t_mad (666 )    11:50 am, 19 Apr

 73.           stink,bum, bugga, bathtub

          hugs and thinking of you, stay strong

princess52 (343 )    11:54 am, 19 Apr

 74.        thinking of you today

          (( hugs ))

brenda2002 (301 )    1:09 pm, 19 Apr

 75.           hey sonia...we are all thinking of you today

          hope things go the right way for a change..

superbitsh (408 )    1:13 pm, 19 Apr

                Happy Birthday Sonia

          I have read your threads from time to time and was wondering how old you are? I hope you dont think im rude for asking.

ratpack4 (15 )    1:20 pm, 19 Apr

 77.           All the best

          ...good luck!

fruitbat (346 )    1:29 pm, 19 Apr

 78.           My thoughts are with you Sonia

          I hope you have positive news tomorrow, I have 2 friends battling Breast Cancer at the moment, both, like yourself, are mothers of young children, it stinks big time. I hope you have lots of positive, loving, supportive people around you. {{{HUGS}}} to you & your family, looked at your profile pic, you & your daughters are all gorgeous !

dutchygal (40 )    1:30 pm, 19 Apr

 79.           Hugs.......

          Hugs aplenty Sonia, will be thinking of you..

chrys5 (72 )    1:49 pm, 19 Apr

 80.           Your courage and bravery

          is wonderful. You always seem to send a smile through your messages no matter how bad you are feeling. Keep fighting the good fight girl. We are all here for you.

kiwitrish (130 )    1:55 pm, 19 Apr

 81.           I have seen you post over the years and

          loved your positive attitude. Keep it going, it not only gets you through but attracts others who offer support and provide distractions. All the very best for you.

chakendrick (173 )    2:01 pm, 19 Apr

 82.           I am just a lurker here,

          but as a young mother myself my heart goes out to you. I prayed for you last night and will continue too. You have raised my awareness of breast cancer and have prompted me to book in for a mamogram (even though I am only in my late 30s). I wish you the very best outcome.

ruralmum (80 )    2:12 pm, 19 Apr

 83.           #76.

          I think she in her thirty

qvr43t_mad (666 )    2:17 pm, 19 Apr

 84.           What can I say but keep strong

          thinking of you as you face this next hurdle..MrsM

mikew (83 )    2:23 pm, 19 Apr

 85.           My prayers are with you

          All the best for tomorrow sonia.

boop2 (106 )    4:38 pm, 19 Apr

 86.           just checking in

          To see how things are going with you Sonia and wishing the best...Mrs mike.

mike92 (36 )    4:46 pm, 19 Apr

 87.           Oh Sonia.... What can I say

          When my little brother was about 4 (many years ago)he suddenly came out with this expression one day when he was wild about something "beast, bugger, bitch". Somehow it was the first thing that popped into my mind when I read your postings. My thoughts are with you, especially now, because I know that horrible feeling while you wait for confirmation. While I trust your feelings about this, I am hanging on to the possibility that it may turn out to be nothing too serious. Give your girls a huge hug and try to stay as positive as possible. And take that sleeping pill tonight. This is not the time for heroics, my girl. Lol.

zebec (188 )    4:47 pm, 19 Apr

 88.           Thanks so much all :o)

          Its great to hear from you all! I just turned 38 yesterday - had no family history of cancer at all, was fit, healthy, breastfed both my girls each to over 9 mths so this whole situation I'm in is very perplexing. Please get mammograms, my whole story is full of "what ifs" thanks to being talked out of mammograms (and, two months back an ultrasound). Don't let your docs talk you out of a mammogram - I did... my odds would have been sooo much better if first lump had been found earlier :o/ !!!

soniat-d (153 )    5:14 pm, 19 Apr

 89.        I'm fine thanks by the way

          Did lose it at my radiation session this morning, however. So the big meeting is tomorrow afternoon to get results etc. Wish me luck for that! Lydia took a bad fall at lunchtime(banged head then passed out and banged it again!)she then later vomited so we just back from docs after an hour+ long wait!!! She's fine thank goodness, but gave me such a scare! Back to my gorgeous girls now. Thanks again all :o)

soniat-d (153 )    5:18 pm, 19 Apr

 90.        what a great attitude sonia

          that you're able to be positive even in the most trying circumstances shows your determination and strength .. you go girl .. go kick butt!- Sending you healing thoughts and big big hugs.

winnie15 (107 )    5:20 pm, 19 Apr

 91.           dont know you sonia-d

          but admire your positivity,your humour and so right its not over till the fat lady sings...Go shake shake, your booty of luck...

neldav (195 )    5:21 pm, 19 Apr

 92.           ahh master 10 did that in rugby practice

          minus the vomitting .. tis scarey indeed. Hope your night goes beeter.

winnie15 (107 )    5:22 pm, 19 Apr

 93.           Awwww crap, sonia!!!!!

          that is such sucky news!!! Mind you you don't need me to tell you that. Focus on November when U2 reschedule and I'll look out for you at the concert! To quote Bono: don't let the bastards grind you down. Cancer sure is a bastard! My FIL is in remission, but you still feel like you're holding your breath it doesn't come back. {BIIIIIG gentle bear hugs!!!!}

tishie (60 )    5:33 pm, 19 Apr

 94.           Sonia,

          I am so sorry about this. I feel for you. Cancer is a bugga. I don't know what to say.

chrystalgail (53 )    5:59 pm, 19 Apr

 95.           sux big time sonia :(

          big hugs and big luck to you :)

michelle147 (188 )    6:26 pm, 19 Apr

 96.           bump for u


michelle147 (188 )    6:44 pm, 19 Apr

 97.           My thought are with you too.

          You always seem to have such a positive outlook and I am sure that must help you, best wishes for tomorrow, there will be many from the MB thinking of you.

mcdaff (43 )    7:36 pm, 19 Apr

 98.           Sonia-- YOU GO GIRL !!!

          & kick this thing in the butt!! Your website is so cool - you have done an amazing job with it. Have been following your story & posted before about your builder- nod,nod,wink,wink- cuzzie. I have my fingers & toes crossed for tomorrow. You are one amazing lady. Take care.

persioux (192 )    8:49 pm, 19 Apr

 99.           Hi Sonia

          I like a lot of people, have been a lurker on your threads, and just want to add to the tremendous support you have here. I really wish you well in this awful venture and am sending you huge hugs and prayers for positive news tomorrow. AND how lucky are those precious girls to have such an inspirational and devoted mum?? LOVE and xxxx ~~~Jaynie

jaynie7 (171 )    8:50 pm, 19 Apr

 100.         thinking of you


princess52 (343 )    8:51 pm, 19 Apr

 101.      Thanks guys - you're really making my day :o)

          It's funny I sent an email out to all my friends and family (about 70 odd people) the same time as I started this thread, saying almost exactly the same thing, and to date only 9 have replied?! And they wonder why I addicted to this MB LOL! Thanks so much everyone, you really are helping!

soniat-d (153 )    8:59 pm, 19 Apr

 102.         OMG

          Sonia I am gutted by your news and admire you greatly for your attitude. I am on the Shore and would be very happy to help with housework etc. Please check my auctions to get in touch. Lisa. All the very best to you and yours!

ringgirl (82 )    9:00 pm, 19 Apr

 103.      BTW I've just got back from putting the girls

          to sleep, lay down with them both for a while. Lydia went out in seconds! I love to watch them sleep :o)

soniat-d (153 )    9:01 pm, 19 Apr

 104.      Hya persioux!

          Say hi to John for me LOL! Glad you like the website - I'm quite proud of it!!

soniat-d (153 )    9:03 pm, 19 Apr

 105.      Thanks Lisa I appreciate that :o)

          Thankfully I still get a free housekeeper 2 hours a week which is a big help, as for the kiddie mess, I've decided its high time the girls learn to clean up after themselves :p !!!! You're more than welcome to drop by with your son etc - I love company and meeting new people! Thanks for the offer :o)

soniat-d (153 )    9:12 pm, 19 Apr

 106.         Hiya soniat-d

          How's little Lydia's head? Is she okay now? My son once knocked himself out, scary stuff. He was okay though too. I hope you've had a better evening than your day... big day by the sounds of things. (still thinking and praying for you.)

ruthies (28 )    9:12 pm, 19 Apr

 107.         Hi Ruthies

          She seems OK thanks - she came right before the doc saw her LOL but kinda went downhill a bit this evening but I'm thinking she was just overtired (both my girls still have day rests/sleeps which they missed out on today because of the drama). So will keep an eye on her before I go down, and get Brent to check in on her too during the night - I'll be sleeping pill-ing tonight - have to I got very little sleep last night! Yep its been a mad day!

soniat-d (153 )    9:16 pm, 19 Apr

 108.         Good for you

          Make sure you get sleep. It's so hard to stay smiley when you're tired out. You have enough to deal with. How old are your girls?

ruthies (28 )    9:19 pm, 19 Apr

 109.         Awwwwww

          I just looked at your profile. They're gorgeous!!!! So are you. (waves hello at you)

ruthies (28 )    9:22 pm, 19 Apr

 110.         Thanks Ruthies :o)

          Lydia just started school a few weeks ago (ie just turned 5) and Emily turned 3 just two weeks before that. They've coped very well with all of this (ie the op, chemo etc), but have become more clingy towards me. The other day Emily asked my M-I-L if she has one or two boobies? MIL said 2. Lydia said "Mummy just has one!" Emily asked Lydia "Why does mummy only have one?" Lydia said "You remember Emily, Mummy had something bad in her boobie so they cut it off" "Oh thats right" said Emily. How sweet is that ?! :o)

soniat-d (153 )    9:26 pm, 19 Apr

 111.         Awwwww, too cute

          It's funny what kids will accept as normal eh? My mother was ill all my life... she had chronic asthma and complications from the meds. She was often in hospital. I remember when I started school being asked to go to a new friends house, and I asked her if her mum would be there or in the hospital? tee hee. One of my neighbours was a nurse, and another was a nurse aide, so together with my mum... well I just thought it was normal for mums to be there...

ruthies (28 )    9:37 pm, 19 Apr

 112.      To everyone I haven't responded to personally

          A very special THANK YOU also for the support - I'd love to reply personally to all but think I'd look a bit silly doing that! LOL But you have all said wonderful things that feel like warm arms around me - very very cool! Thank's everyone! I do re-read the entire thread occasionally from beginning to end, and savour each reply ;o) I'm off now to take that sleeping pill! Nite all ;o)

soniat-d (153 )    9:38 pm, 19 Apr

 113.         Sleep sweet


ruthies (28 )    9:39 pm, 19 Apr

 114.         soniat-d

          if you need someone to come and play with the kids so you can rest just shout. I could just look after them at your place so they wouldn't feel lost, but you could have a wee rest. Let me know

princess52 (343 )    9:39 pm, 19 Apr

115.         oh soniat.......

          Im gutted for you :-(.... dunno what to say really cept I care! Keep eating that elephants sweets, one bite at a time (((hugs))))

roseyposey2 (70 )    9:41 pm, 19 Apr

 116.      Soniat-d

          YOU WILL BEAT IT! You will make it through! We are all behind you, and we're all thinking of you. Read the book by Lance Armstrong - inspirational stuff. Make us all proud!

nadnailer (15 )    9:45 pm, 19 Apr

117.         Night Sonia....

          my love, thoughts and prayers are with you. Be strong my friend and kepe thinking those positive thoughts. God bless xx

salie77 (741 )    9:52 pm, 19 Apr

 118.         I hope your baby is ok :)

          It's scary when they hurt themselves eh?? Miss 7 fell off my bed head first onto a wooden floor when she was 8 months old. I still shudder thinking about it. I hope your appointments go ok. Remember the squeaky wheel gets the oil, so if you want another op, squeak and squeal!! Kia kaha....

cake4 (155 )    9:54 pm, 19 Apr

 119.         What do I say

          except that I have been following your threads and you are one brave amazing woman.My middle daughter turnt 14 today and I have a almost 20yr and an almost 3yr.Reading about your battle ,struggle really puts life into perspective for me.I will turn 38 in aug and a lot of the time stress out about silly things.Your a fighter I can feel it though your words,stay strong girl and know lots of people care..maree

jonmar1 (63 )    10:30 pm, 19 Apr

 120.         Hi Sonia

          My warmest wishes to you and your lovely family. I havent posted before but have read your threads, I wish you all the best I have a friend who is having her second round battle with lukaemia in a year so I can understand some of whats happening to you she just thought it was gone one day and next day back to hospital jusrt when she was going to move away start a great job and the rug was pulled. Take care and keep up the fight your girls are lovely just as you seen to be. Patra CHCH

patra (2136 )    10:39 pm, 19 Apr

 121.         Sonia

          just wanted to pass on this address to you. There are a group of wonderfully supportive women there, and lots of useful information.Wishing all the best for you.

acurran33 (38 )    10:40 pm, 19 Apr

 122.         SORRY TO HEAR

          the dreaded C is showing its face again,I am off to Auck Hosp tommorrow with my brother who has kidney, spine, lung , cancer he was told he had 3 months almost 4 years ago , he has only had radiation treatment,he has a new problem now ,he is having trouble keeping food down so I am worried sick as to the outcome.I wish you all the best,and will b thinking of you tommorrow.Keep us posted.

pinky6 (243 )    10:40 pm, 19 Apr

 123.         morning sonia

          gentle hugs for you today, i am praying extra hard for us and you today as we to are waiting news on ryan hopefully it comes today i hate the waiting but on the other hand i dont want to know. So sending good vibes your way.

bogeyi (482 )    7:33 am, 20 Apr

 124.         Wishing you all the best

          for your meeting today Sonia, you too bogeyi, sorry to hear that Ryan is back in hospital too. Stay strong people :)

scooby614 (368 )    7:37 am, 20 Apr

 125.         (((hugs))) for today Sonia

          Just know that a lot of people are thinking of you

shoppyshoppy (62 )    7:50 am, 20 Apr

 126.         Hi Sonia

          I have tears in my eyes from reading this, you are a strong lady and I hope everything goes well for you. When I was 7 my mum was hit dwon with the dreaded C leaving me and my 5 yr old sister. It wasn't until I had kids that I realised how hard it must have been for her. My girls are the same age as yours shan was three in Feb and Tori is 5 in a week or so. Be strong, and my thoughts are with you!!!

jacqui248 (111 )    7:59 am, 20 Apr

 127.         Oh Sonia

          I can only imagine how you must be feeling. Having just finished the op/chemo/radio thing myself I know that your body will be tired. I will be thinking of you today and hoping for a positive outcome for you and your beautiful family. Many people have taken inspiration from your words, including me. Stay strong...Sue

maewest (75 )    8:06 am, 20 Apr

 128.         morning sonia

          thinking of you today best wishes sweetie is your husband or someone going to be with you

aggy1 (118 )    8:30 am, 20 Apr

 129.         Goodluck for

          today. Best of wishes to you. Hugs to you and your family.

kathrynf1976 (30 )    8:38 am, 20 Apr

 130.         Sonia -

          Thinking of you today, along with many others who are all wishing you well.

brish (314 )    8:39 am, 20 Apr

 131.      Hi Sonia

          You can fight those monsters. I am sorry they have come back. Anytime you need a pick me up just come on here, we'll all be here! My husband thinks I'm mad talking to people I don't know, but its great to be able to share things and help each other isn't it? Have a great day, hope its as beautiful weather as it is here!

treenie3 (201 )    8:40 am, 20 Apr

 132.         Hi Guys :o)

          Thanks so much - yes Lydia is fine and dandy thank goodness! Got my usual radiation this morning at 10am then 2.45 this afternoon is meeting with spcialists. Brent will of course come with me ;o) Sorry its madness here - morning rush (Emily's crawling over my shoulders as I try to type LOL) - will respond to all your lovely messages later. Thanks so much all!

soniat-d (153 )    8:53 am, 20 Apr

 133.         All the very best of luck!

          I will be thinking of you!

_barcode_ (3)    8:54 am, 20 Apr

 134.         G'Morning Sonia

          Been thinking of you this morning and praying for a positive outcome today.You'll be in my thoughts thoroughout the day.Hugs Winnie

winnie15 (107 )    9:33 am, 20 Apr

 135.         goodluck sonia

          sorry to hear, hope everything works out :) keep smiling

katcha (130 )    9:35 am, 20 Apr

 136.         All the best

          Strange to think how someone you don't even know can touch your life. Will be thinking of you this afternoon. I pray all goes well.

angela74 (103 )    9:36 am, 20 Apr

 137.         Thinking of you for this morning

          and this afternoon especially. I hope you get time today to do something to bless yourself. Best wishes to you and your family

ruthies (28 )    10:51 am, 20 Apr

 138.         Thinking of you

          and good luck for this arvo..

jonmar1 (63 )    12:23 pm, 20 Apr

 139.         OMG Sonia....

          I haven't been on here for over a week and couldn't believe it when I found this thread, not after everything you have been thru already. I have sat here and cried as I read it. Good luck for this afternoon, just you stay positive whatever the news is. This fight ain't over yet! You might be battle worn at the moment and feeling down but you will find the guts to dig deep and keep fighting. If not, I might have to go kidnap Joystik from her hospital bed in a couple of weeks and come to Auckland so we can kick start you fighting again! All the best and thinking of you this afternoon.

landylass (47 )    1:17 pm, 20 Apr

 140.         Hi all, the girls are sleeping at Nanna's now

          The fact that there's no call from the specialist is not good news, lets face it, they have the results and leaving to discuss it in person. I'm alone in the house now and can't stop crying - better out than in... This sux man, it really really sux...

soniat-d (153 )    1:53 pm, 20 Apr

 141.      oh sonia!

          really don't know what to say... :o(

_barcode_ (3)    1:58 pm, 20 Apr

 142.      soniat darling

          hugs more hugs and more hugs

pomegal (91 )    1:59 pm, 20 Apr

 143.         Hi Sonia

          I don't normally post, but I wish to say my thoughts are with you, and as my darling Nana would say I am praying for you..

donz74 (20 )    2:01 pm, 20 Apr

 144.         so so sorry sonia...

          i looked at ur pic and ur wee girls.. they are too gorgeous :) i have tears in my eyes just thinking about you crying :(

michelle147 (188 )    2:02 pm, 20 Apr

 145.         Sonia...keep writing

          get it all out, write everything you are feeling right now so you can go into the meeting with a clear head. You are right, this does suck, it sucks big time, but you fight is not finished. You can get back on track, just have a bloody good cry, you don't have to be strong for us here. Get writing....

scooby614 (368 )    2:05 pm, 20 Apr

 146.         cry Sonia....

          I did all the way home from Dunedin the day they told me about the heart damage. It didn't make me feel any better, but I couldn't stop. The waiting is the awful bit, once you know the facts you will know what you are dealing with. Just big [[[[hugs]]]]] and hang on to the hope it might not all be bad news! You will get thru this.

landylass (47 )    2:06 pm, 20 Apr

 147.         oops....

          didn't mean to swear, sorry!

scooby614 (368 )    2:06 pm, 20 Apr

 148.         BIG THANKS !!!!

          to you and your family. Thanks for sharing your life with us. My Mum has just had a mamogram and they found a lump. She is seeing the specialist next week - they will let her know what kind of treatment she will be having. They are suggesting that they will have to remove her breast. She say she is feeling kinda of numb at the moment. She is taking one day at time.

dingbat (356 )    2:07 pm, 20 Apr

 149.         2.10 pm - thinking of you Sonia

          hope the appt goes well, I have butterflies in my stomach for you.

winnie15 (107 )    2:10 pm, 20 Apr

 150.      Its OK guys, as some of you know

          I am a strong person ;o) Sometimes though, you've gotta let it out. Even though I am only 38, I've had a fantastic life, I've travelled the world, lived abroad, have a great husband and gorgeous girls who tell me dozens of times a day that they love me. I don't really worry about this for me, I just weep at the thought of them seeing me go and having to grow up without me. The plans I had for them... Lydia keeps hugging me and telling me I'me "the best mummy is the whole world!" and I do try to be. I'm not giving up, I'm just being realistic. I was hoping for 10 years, guess I'll still try like hell to try for that.

                                                                                                                                            soniat-d (153 )    2:10 pm, 20 Apr


151.         you are AMAZING


michelle147 (188 )    2:12 pm, 20 Apr

 152.         Yes i think you are too..

          Praying for you today

cinnar (284 )    2:14 pm, 20 Apr

 153.         You have been thru

          a hell of a ride the last few months.... its all gotta give somewhere... let it out. Wait for the facts and options, its ok being realistic but don't you DARE let those dreams go!!!!!

landylass (47 )    2:14 pm, 20 Apr

 154.         I haven't posted in your threads before

          but, heart & soul, I'm thinking of you and wishing that life wasn't so blimmin unfair. I grew up on the Shore and wish I was back there now to make you some meals. Not much I can say except wishing you all the best

alimin (33 )    2:18 pm, 20 Apr

 155.         Yeah I'm thinking all thoughts Landylass

          Like back when my doc told me there was no need for a mammogram, and how different things were be if I'd stood up then like I finally do now. Then, if I'd also pushed my gut feel that we should've done radiation first, and a few months back when I was sure it wasn't right in there and wanting an ultrasound. Every single specialist I've had has let me down it would seem...

soniat-d (153 )    2:19 pm, 20 Apr

 156.         sonia

          quite a few of my friends have had breast cancer. One had bilateral mastectomies 9 years ago. At the time she said she only wanted 5 years. (As you do). She now has a grandchild and is at 9 years and said the other day she only wants to live to 75! Keep your chin up girl, you are the best mummy

princess52 (343 )    2:22 pm, 20 Apr

 157.         Yeah I know landylass ;o)

          At least this time I know the rollercoaster I'm getting back onto. I cried a heck of a lot more the first time, after I found the lump for a day, and after the biopsy for a day and a half, but then after the op I was all smiles, the results I felt on top of the world thinking I was cancer free, well as you know, I found the strength and stayed happy. I will again, absolutely. Just gotta get out whatever we can, treat whichever way we can, and just enjoy every day we have.

soniat-d (153 )    2:24 pm, 20 Apr

 158.         Yeah we would

          all do things different if we could turn back the clock. Thats the hard bit, accepting the things we can't change. You can only put your faith in the system and as we both know sometimes it just doesn't work. You are going to have to put your faith in these guys that they are going to pull you thru this. It suxs big time, but you are a lot wiser now to questioning decisions and options. Hang in there, shortly you will know exactly what you are dealing with and we both know its easier once you know the facts. This is just a set back. Good luck.

landylass (47 )    2:25 pm, 20 Apr

 159.         Thats true Landylass ;o)

          Thanks everyove :o) Sh#t! Loook at the time LOL time to go! Back later!!!

soniat-d (153 )    2:27 pm, 20 Apr

 160.         thinking of you heaps sonia

          ya been on my mind all day. I am 33 and have bewbies that are too big to examine myself (lol) how much is a routine mamogram? Hmm ignore that just worry about yaself. Hang in there. (( hugs ))

brenda2002 (301 )    2:29 pm, 20 Apr

 161.         Thinking of you Sonia

          Not long now until your appointment. I am keeping fingers & toes crossed for you- wish,wish,wishing for good news XXX

persioux (192 )    2:35 pm, 20 Apr

 162.         I have had to pay

          for mammagrams brenda and they are around $120-$130 but thats Dunedin. Some clinics also suggest you have a ultrasound as well. Sometimes breast density is an issue in reading the mammagrams with pre-menapausal woman and this may be one reason they also suggest the ultrasound.

landylass (47 )    2:35 pm, 20 Apr

 163.         *Off to centre my thoughts around you Sonia*


winnie15 (107 )    2:55 pm, 20 Apr

 164.         Oh great my watch is slow..

          "throws hands up in the air"

winnie15 (107 )    2:56 pm, 20 Apr

 165.         Thinking...

          of you as always Sonia. Stay strong! x

salie77 (741 )    3:02 pm, 20 Apr

 166.         Can stand the thought

          that I am just sittiing here typing away when you are there getting your results. Parallel worlds

angela74 (103 )    3:16 pm, 20 Apr

 167.         im thinking of you to, i sooo hope its not a bad

          result..hugs to you.

leyland1 (448 )    3:16 pm, 20 Apr

 168.         You're in my thoughts too sonia :o)

          I wish there was something I could do for you from the Hutt Valley. I hope your appointment went OK. **more hugs for you and one for Brent (if you don't mind!)** it must be so hard on him to watch you go through this.

tishie (60 )    3:20 pm, 20 Apr

 169.         Don't suppose....

          anyone has the link to Sonia's website do they? I've read it a few times but can't find the link now :( Otherwise, I will wait for Sonia to reply, thanks :)

salie77 (741 )    3:29 pm, 20 Apr

 170.         Sonia

          Probably too late now, you'll be at your appointment, but I got the dreaded test results by phone. The surgeon rang me and said "the news is as bad as it can possibly be", and I didn't hear any more. Rang him back after spending a couple of hours crouched on the floor feeling sorry for myself, and found out he'd organised for me to be operated on 3 days later. Now 10 years, and so far so good. (Fingers crossed behind back.) Just hoping your surgeon is going to be more positive than you're feeling. We have a prayer circle going for you. God Bless you, my dear.

deekayem (314 )    3:36 pm, 20 Apr

 171.         sending love and support

          and lots of positive vibes.

starflower (82 )    3:40 pm, 20 Apr

 172.         Congratulations deekayem,

          that's a good report

alimin (33 )    4:13 pm, 20 Apr

 173.         Sonia- Have a good day

          My thoughts are with you. Be Brave!

kendyll (80 )    4:30 pm, 20 Apr

 174.      my thoughts are with you too..

          especially this afternoon..I dont know you but have been thinking about you all day and so much wishing your appointment will go wishes to you and your family, you are such an inspiration :)

pjs3 (1274 )    4:33 pm, 20 Apr

 175.         I really hope you are OK

          Sonia, What a hell of a thing to be going through!!

jacqui248 (111 )    4:37 pm, 20 Apr

 176.         hi sonia

          just read your thread, my heart goes out to you, I know you have probably had heaps of suggestions and ideas, but here goes anyway, my friend was diagnosed with lymphatic luekemia ( think thats how you spell it) by the time they found out what was wrong they said it was too late and sent him home to die, he got into touch with the gawler foundation and 10 years on is still in good health, maybe they are worth looking into, you can google them and read their website he also has a book I believe its called "you can beat cancer"it may not be for everyone but it did help him

wimwam1 (53 )    4:41 pm, 20 Apr

 177.         # 169 Salie77

          Here's the link to the site. I'm sure Sonia won't mind as she gave it out before. Understandably it hasn't been updated for a while but it is inspiring and touching.

brish (314 )    4:41 pm, 20 Apr

 178            All the best for you tomorrow Sonia

         and that really does suck... and when you are ready i do think a lot of alternative options are more successful than we ever know... i know it worked for me and i was fortunate enough to have mine go.. anyways.. big hugs to you sweet girl.. and your family

missbehave (30 )    4:44 pm, 20 Apr

 179.         hay my bouncy ball sonia

          only came back on to see if you were back but hopefully you are out celebrating that it isnt as bad as you thought, loves and hugs darling xxx lesley

pomegal (91 )    4:49 pm, 20 Apr

 180.         Sonia , tears are falling for you and yours

          We are praying so hard for you.Hugs from us all here.

boop2 (106 )    4:52 pm, 20 Apr

 181.         Can't get you outta

          my mind at moment, just hope like pomegal that it isn't as bad as you have prepared yourself for! Hugs to all.

landylass (47 )    4:53 pm, 20 Apr

 182.         Sonia

          I have read all the tread & looked at your web page.........(((hugs))) for you....

gilmer (111 )    4:53 pm, 20 Apr

 183.         Been thinking about you

          all afternoon. Have had a knot in my stomach. Big hugs

maewest (75 )    4:53 pm, 20 Apr

 184.         I took the time this afternoon to

          read some of your website. It's awesome. I've come away wishing I lived near you, you strike me as the sort of person I'd like to say "can I be your friend?" to!! Yeah, yeah I know I sound like a big sap! I promise I'm not a stalker though and I don't think I'm a weirdo....although you'll have to ask others opinions on that!! LOL!! It's funny you say during your chemo friends have become strangers and strangers have become friends....that's exactly what a friend of mine said when she went through a rough patch with her health. It must be coz some people don't know what to say or do so they say & do nothing. It's a shame though, isn't it?

tishie (60 )    5:01 pm, 20 Apr

 185.         im with u tishie :)

          the website is just awesome and sonia seems like she'd be an awesome gilfriend, mum and wife... im not a stalker either lol

michelle147 (188 )    5:06 pm, 20 Apr

 186.         could someone

          please give me sonia's website- how are you sonia thinking of you and your family

aggy1 (118 )    5:23 pm, 20 Apr

 187.         Sonia i too have a knot in my stomach

          and can not get you out of my mind...your website and postings on here have made us all think of you as a real person not just someone we cyerchat to....we have exchanged e-mails in the past..they also portray you as a wonderful strong young woman....I can not say more except that you have had a huge impact on me and the tears are flowing for you and your man and your little girls Chrissi

cloffie (47 )    5:33 pm, 20 Apr

 188.         aggy...its at #177 i think


michelle147 (188 )    5:35 pm, 20 Apr

 189.         Wow thank you everyone :o)

          Yep, I'm finally back! Well, so far, the news is, yep, its cancer again, at least 6 lumps, and looks like the same strain as last time, though they're going to do some further analysis on the samples to ascertain whether it has mutated slightly, in which case other pills etc can be taken to fight it. Tomorrow I'm having a CT scan to check it hasn't spread further (results late tomorrow), then on Monday afternoon a bone scan. So far they've also ultrasounded my healthy boob and that's still all clear - woohoo! The thing is, its wierd that its resurfaced DURING treatment, thats unusual :o/ Current plan is to continue, but step up and expand, the radiation, to shrink the tumors, then a few weeks after that is finished, cut out the whole affected area (leaving a monstrous scar apparently). A good thing is the extra 10kgs I've put on with chemo is a help here with that op :o)

soniat-d (153 )    5:49 pm, 20 Apr

 190.         I have more to say ;o)

          but have to go now be with the girls who've hardly seen me all day, get dinner going, etc! Back later - thanks so much all, I really can feel the cyberhugs - and PS I'm smiling again ;o)

soniat-d (153 )    5:51 pm, 20 Apr

 191.         great to hear sonia :)

          rest well tonite :) big squeezes to u and ur awesome family :)

michelle147 (188 )    5:55 pm, 20 Apr

 192.         Big Hugs Sonia

          My prayers are with you alond with everyone elses.... What a day you have had, And thank you soo much for taking the time to let us all here knw what is going on..... Be Strong

jacqui248 (111 )    5:57 pm, 20 Apr

 193.         Hey sonia

          never posted in your thread before but always lurk, have not posted because i don't quite know how to put into words what i want to say to you. I think you are one of the bravest people i have ever heard of. May not post much but i am here and just want to wish you all the best.

tommi2 (132 )    6:04 pm, 20 Apr

 194.         thoughts have been with you all day

          you keep smiling ,your an awesome person..keep up the battle.

jonmar1 (63 )    6:07 pm, 20 Apr

 195.         Hi sonia

          just wanted to let you know you are in my thouhts. Good luck girl! (((((hugs)))))

solitaire3 (186 )    6:09 pm, 20 Apr

 196.         Good for you Sonia. You are an inspiration to

          all of us, with your attitude. Keep up that fight.

alimick (107 )    6:09 pm, 20 Apr

 197.         thx for keeping us updated

          (((BIG BIG HUGS)))

winnie15 (107 )    6:10 pm, 20 Apr

 198.         Oh dear Sonia

          You are an inspiration to me, how you smile in the face of adversity. I haven't had you out of my head all day, just wondering how you're going. Just wondered, would you mind if I asked my prayer chain at church to pray for you and your family?

ruthies (28 )    6:12 pm, 20 Apr

 199.         thanks for the update sonia...

          ask your doctor if they need a donor for fat? I have loads you can have!! LOL! I remember seeing a famous 1970's model on Oprah a month or two back (can't remember her name though!) She had breast cancer and had these amazing photos taken of her scarred body after a double mastectomy. She said that they were her favourite photos of herself - even though there are thousands of glamorous photos from her modelllng heyday.

tishie (60 )    6:26 pm, 20 Apr

 200.         hugs


smileygirl (159 )    6:29 pm, 20 Apr

 201.         Just caught up with this thread

          (((((hugs)))) Sonia - that definitely sucks big time. You are so very brave. Fingers crossed for the CT and bone scan.

wino3 (175 )    6:36 pm, 20 Apr

 202.         Sonia

          My sister is going through the same thing as you are, stay strong and know your journey is not a solo one and that there a alot of people on this board who will give you possitive support. Special thoughts for you sonia.

butacup6 (0 )    6:39 pm, 20 Apr

 203.      sonia

          so sorry to hear the outcome of today..................agian ((((hugs))))) for all of you

gilmer (111 )    6:45 pm, 20 Apr

 204.         Thanks for posting

          Sonia.... sorry to hear it is the big c again, was so hoping it was otherwise. Let the next battle commence!

landylass (47 )    7:00 pm, 20 Apr

 205.         take care...

          You have my heartfelt hugs and positive vibes ... You rock Sonia :)

cake4 (155 )    7:37 pm, 20 Apr

 206.         Hi Sonia

          I haven't posted much but have been following your threads. My sister went through pretty much the same as you.So I am keeping you and your family in my thoughts and prayers

tinkerbelle4 (44)    7:41 pm, 20 Apr

 207.      Hi again just popping in quickly b4 the girls'

          bathtime, I want to respond to many of you, will do once girls asleep. Thanks everyone, I'm so amazed and thrilled by the generosity of responses, you're all sweethearts :o) Will post heaps more later! LOL

soniat-d (153 )    7:55 pm, 20 Apr

 208.         Hi Sonia

          your website is fantastic the house is looking great and your little girls are just beautiful

aggy1 (118 )    8:04 pm, 20 Apr

 209.         Hi Sonia, I hope your Bone Scan etc...goes well

          Lots n Lots of prayers for you. My Beloved Mum whom I spent the last few months of her Life Caring for had Cancer & its also taken 6 Members of her Family as well including my 12yr old Cousin..2 Of her brothers have been Battling Bowel Cancer for around 2yrs as well. Im so tired of the destruction,misery & sadness Cancer causes in People and their lives and the lives of their families. I so hope you beat this bi$ch! Fight,Fight,Fight with ALL your strength and dont let it win Sonia. Best Wishes to you all again.

jnmal03 (629 )    8:17 pm, 20 Apr

 210.         sonia , all I can say is hang

          in there .

boop2 (106 )    8:50 pm, 20 Apr

 211.         hiya sonia just wanted to pop in and say

          hello and I am thinking of you an your family.

bogeyi (482 )    9:16 pm, 20 Apr

 212.         good luck for your CT scan tomorrow

          will be thinking of you, I hope you get good news from that.

nicki5 (109 )    9:23 pm, 20 Apr

 213.         TM went down just as I went to do all my postings!

          #sigh# So, to continue… so far it looks like just a local recurrance, while that's not what we wanted, its not the end of the world! I must say, now that I feel the lumps (I have for a few weeks of course, but put it down to effects of radiation on the scar tissue, swelling from chemo etc etc), the biggest tumor is already 2cm! I'm frustrated the lumps have to stay in me till after radiotherapy, I grilled my specialist on this (don't trust the docs so much now!) but because radio is already underway, they can't operate now (scar won't heal cos of effect of radiation on healing). They assured me that radio ALWAYS shrinks the tumors, but its a delayed effect. Just wish I couldn't feel them... :o/ After three docs all missed these lumps even though I kept querying why the area felt so wierd, I requested that, in future, I'd rather be ultrasounded at my checkups as opposed to just the finger prodding they've been doing till now. She agreed that was a fair enough request. After all, if a tumor grows to 2cm befor

soniat-d (153 )    11:25 pm, 20 Apr

 214.      cont'd

          ... before I feel it (!) in an area with only about that much distance from skin to bone anyway, I have to say my faith in breast checks on their own is completly blown to pieces! Take note everyone! Recurrances suck, but apparently they just keep cutting them out and you just keep on, and so I guess that's my lot now. #shrugs# Could be worse I guess (touch wood). Well its late, I'm sipping on the yucky milky concoction I have to drink before the CT scan, then a sleeping pill and to bed. 'Nite all and thanks for relaying your thoughts and concern - it means a lot to me ;o) I appreciate all the thoughts and support as I enter another rollercoaster ahead of us - just when we thought it was almost over!!! Yay for the MB community - thanks so much - you all rock :o)

soniat-d (153 )    11:25 pm, 20 Apr

 215.      So many to respond to - can't do all tonight!

          To all those who have commented on my website (see #177 for link ;o) thanks, yes I'm proud of it! I will be updating in next few weeks, I usually do one every 3 months but lots has happened so yes time for an update! I started it to save me writing so many letters to all my overseas rellies and friends, and it kind of took off from there! It's funny looking back at the older entries now, seeing pics of myself before this nightmare all started smiling innocently - I want to yell at my pic "Get a mammogram!!!" LOL

soniat-d (153 )    11:31 pm, 20 Apr

 216.      goodnight Sonia

          I'm sending you healing vibes...hope you sleep well. I'm off up north 2moro for a few days, but will check in on Monday. Stay strong Sonia. We're with you all the way..

treenie3 (201 )    11:34 pm, 20 Apr

 217.      Thanks Treenie ;o)

          I really want to respond personally to others on here, but it may take a few days. Its hectic all right! Will pop in when I can! Thanks again and goodnight all ;o)

soniat-d (153 )    11:41 pm, 20 Apr

 218.         morning Sonia

          Hope today is a good day for you!

jacqui248 (111 )    7:19 am, 21 Apr


 219.          Loved the photos....

          you have lots of love in your life sonia.. lovely to see.. thanks for sharing xxxx

missbehave (30 )    7:33 am, 21 Apr

 220.         Morning Sonia...

          hope you managed to sleep last night. Good luck this morning.

landylass (47 )    7:50 am, 21 Apr

 221.      Hi all, can't type now, wish I could!

          Thanks again - more later!

soniat-d (153 )    8:56 am, 21 Apr

 222.         Morning all - had a great nights sleep :o)

          Radio at 10.30 (normal blast I just found out, and bit bummed about - they'll change things on Monday. Grrr). Anyway, CT is at 3.30, and calling my specialist at 6pm for the results, assuming they are in. Will update whenever I can ;o) And hopefully respond to you lovelies when I can - its a hectic day today!

soniat-d (153 )    9:05 am, 21 Apr

 223.         Sonia, don't feel the

          need to be on here any more than you can cope with. We'll all be thinking of you today - that's enough of a busy day to send the healthiest person into a spin, and we understnad that you have your lovely daughters and husband to care for too. Try and put yourself first whenever you can. Thought are with you again.

brish (314 )    9:25 am, 21 Apr

 224.         Good luck today Sonia

          Try and fit in a cappuccino (or whatever takes your fancy). It's good for the soul. Will be thinking about you and your family :)

maewest (75 )    9:39 am, 21 Apr

 225.      Good idea maewest LOL

          Well I got all demanding at the radiology this morning, made them check whether all of new tumors are within the existing treatment area for remaining treatments until the changes are made, made sure specialist saw me before next one on Monday (10.40). Just hate feeling those tumors in me, hate it... Oh well, off for an early lunch before the fasting must start, countdown till 3.30 - results after 6pm tonight. Fingers and toes xxxx'd !!!!

soniat-d (153 )    11:47 am, 21 Apr

 226.      *Inserts a heap of swear words*

          Crikey Sonia, what a letdown for you. You of all people do not deserve this. You are strong, and this has only made you stronger. Good luck mate...

spellcheck (1 )    12:06 pm, 21 Apr

 227.         Sonia...

          thinking of you as usual, all the luck in the world for your CT scan today. I will be praying for you. None of us are going anywhere so you just post on here when you can. Lots of love and blessings xx

salie77 (741 )    1:47 pm, 21 Apr

 228.      Hi Sonia *waves*

          how ya doing today? Been thinking of you. Hey we don't expect you to respond to us all personally, just keep us in the picture is all we ask, so we can keep you in our thoughts.Hugs Wendy

winnie15 (107 )    2:07 pm, 21 Apr

 229.         Hope is all well

          My thoughts are with you.

kathrynf1976 (30 )    2:14 pm, 21 Apr

 230.         Sonia I have been watching this thread

          and have just been into your website. You are such a beautiful person and your family is beautiful too. The love in his eyes that your husband has for you is plain to see. If the love of your family is enough to beat this monster you will get thru it. After reading these threads & your website, as a mum of 2 young girls it brought me to tears & I have phoned & booked my first mammogram for next month, decided it was a small price to pay for peace of mind. My best wishes go to you for a successful outcome.

dutchygal (40 )    2:37 pm, 21 Apr

 231.         I just want to say

          all the very best to you .... I will you well and I wish you well ness ...

taldon (125 )    2:48 pm, 21 Apr

 232.         fingers toes

          legs and arms and anything else i can possibly cross will be, still thinking of you darl will come back later to see if you have posted xx

pomegal (91 )    2:50 pm, 21 Apr

 233.         good luck

          with everything today and our thoughts are with you..

jonmar1 (63 )    3:35 pm, 21 Apr

 234.      Thanks everyone

          I'm thrilled at everyone who has decided to get a mammogram after reading this - if I can save at least one other woman from an outcome like mine it would great, though of course I wish clear mammograms for everyone!

soniat-d (153 )    4:50 pm, 21 Apr

 235.      Yep just got back from the CT scan

          I'd forgotten about the injection part :o/!!! Anyway, it was fine, left the doc poring over my internal images - I wanted to stay there looking over his shoulder! LOL ;o) Anyway, all we can do is hope like anything its OK - what will be will be... Thanks again all, I'm fine for now thanks :o)

soniat-d (153 )    4:52 pm, 21 Apr

 236.      Some good news :o)

          Got called early by my specialist, just finished calling Brent, parents etc. Its confirmed as "just a local recurrance"! As she said, "local recurrance is a whole different thing to spread". My lungs, liver etc all clear, they can only see what we've found already, plus two more nodes up deeper in my armpit. Will blast all the above with the radiation, cut out, and continue to watch like hawks ;o) Wait on biopsy results to see what further preventative treatment can be done. Thanks all, next Bone scan, Monday at Midday! ... Feeling a little more confident about that now! (Touch wood!).

soniat-d (153 )    5:44 pm, 21 Apr

 237.         Great news Sonia.....

          hope you celebrate tonight! Thank gawd you have finally got some good news.

landylass (47 )    5:45 pm, 21 Apr

 238.         long time watcher first time poster

          i feel for you i have been following your story and its very upsetting. You are a very strong lady i give you all my best wishes and hope you have a long and prosperous future Sound like your gonna beat this thing!!

jason18 (288 )    5:48 pm, 21 Apr

 239.         sounds good sonia! blast it all away lol

          good luck, you are such a strong person. reading ur thread is empowering :)

michelle147 (188 )    5:50 pm, 21 Apr

 240.         sonia that is good news

          I hope you have a great night, knowing things aren't as bad as they seemed

nicki5 (109 )    6:09 pm, 21 Apr

 241.      Thanks everyone :o)

          We're going out to dinner to celebrate!

soniat-d (153 )    6:16 pm, 21 Apr

 242.      Great News!

          Enjoy a night out celebrating. Thanks for keeping us updated as fast as you do...I came in just to look for your news. Localized recurrence if great!

sonja2 (303 )    6:20 pm, 21 Apr

 243.         woo-hoo!!!

          It's A Beautiful Daaaaayyyy!!!!! Blast those suckers to kingdom come!! Enjoy your meal out, you deserve it! :o)

tishie (60 )    6:23 pm, 21 Apr

 244.         thats awesome sonia

          have a fabulous night out with your family and keep smiling

aggy1 (118 )    6:41 pm, 21 Apr

 245.         That is so

          good to hear,have a lovely night out.

jonmar1 (63 )    6:55 pm, 21 Apr

 246.      Great to hear your update Sonia

          You go girl!

shoppyshoppy (62 )    6:55 pm, 21 Apr

 247.         Sonia

          I am pleased and not pleased for you if that makes sense!! Very relieved to hear it is a local thing but not happy that it is there at all. The monster should just stay away! You remember my husband David had cancer in 2004/5, well his is also back. He had another lymphoma cut out last week and we had been told *for sure* by our GP that it was only a skin cancer! He is waiting for an oncology appointment and we will see what they want to do. His immunity is already well down as he has been home all week with bronchitis. All the best - you enjoy your evening and we are both thinking of you and sending HUGE ((cyberhugs))!!

chutney (1236 )    6:56 pm, 21 Apr

 248.         That is good news sonia

          glad it isn't in the lung etc.

qvr43t_mad (666 )    7:51 pm, 21 Apr

 249.         Chutney... sorry

          to hear your hubby got a re-occurance. I had chemo couple of weeks ago and went home and crashed into bed feeling yuk and my hubby came home 1/2 hour later and gave me the good news he had another melanoma. Just as well he let GP take it out as it was going to be 5 months thru hospital system. Just so scarey these skin cancers! Good luck with his tests.

landylass (47 )    7:52 pm, 21 Apr

 250.         Sonia

          Guess you're full of mixed emotions right now. Sad that the beast has reared its ugly head again, and happy & relieved that it could have been worse news. I'm so glad for you, and for your family. Looking forward to your news becoming more positive as time goes on. God Bless.

deekayem (314 )    7:59 pm, 21 Apr

251.         oh sonia

          you make me feel quite humble. Good luck and heaps to your family as well.I have a sister a survivor of breast cancer she wasn't going to have a mammogram but we all got on her back so she decided too. asmall lump was found and after taking that out and radiation so far she is okay i am praying the same outcome for you.

boop2 (106 )    8:29 pm, 21 Apr

252.         Yay Yay!!!!!!

          That is good news Sonia. I am astounded by your positive attitude on the MB. I'm sure you don't always feel so brave, so be sure to vent here if it would help. I'd still like to ask our church's prayer chain to pray for you and your family, but wouldn't presume to give them any info about you without your permission. If you see this post in the hundreds, please let me know?? Take care and big hugs.

ruthies (28 )    8:43 pm, 21 Apr

 253.      all the best

          you sound a strong woman, keep up the good fight

piwidakiwi (41 )    9:33 pm, 21 Apr

 254.      Hi again :o)

          Have just rectly got off the phone after a huge call from a friend - ear still red LOL! We had a lovely night out - played safe and went to Valentines and the girls were in heaven! Food very nice actually, we were most impressed! Have a sleeping pill in me now, will stay here for a while till I get dozy!

soniat-d (153 )    10:54 pm, 21 Apr

 255.         Hug's to ya soniat_d

          Have just found out this morning that I have cervical Cancer back after 15 yrs..look's like it's gone evasive...So not looking forward to the next few months...So very big hugs to ya....

she3 (664 )    10:58 pm, 21 Apr

 256.      I can just imagine you all having a lovely family

          time together. May you look forward to years of the same.

alimick (107 )    10:58 pm, 21 Apr

 257.         Hi there

          Damn was typing heaps and lost it all grr!... Now trying to think what it was I typed - seemed great at the time LOL (typing one-handed while I hold an icepack to my chest doesn't help LOL!

soniat-d (153 )    11:05 pm, 21 Apr

 258.         Yes as many of you have said

          todays news is good, but overall, things are still a lot worse than they seemd a week ago! I realise that its having spread to somthing like 7 nodes is not good (remembering movies like "Terms of Endearment" where the mum finds just one lump under her arm and dies don't help!). The speed with which this type of cancer spreads is downright scary, and I fully realise the luck of being able to reach the affected area with radiation and surgery. I'm not going to wait for it, rather watch out for it. In the meantime I have some plans of self-action: ...

soniat-d (153 )    11:17 pm, 21 Apr

 259.         (1)

          Investigate the two wonder vitamin-type things I've had recommended to me - Percy Weston's famous mineral powder formula and Life Force. Maybe I'll take both LOL.

soniat-d (153 )    11:18 pm, 21 Apr

 260.         (2)

          I'll start preparing some videos from me to my daughters, just in case (so hopefully won't be needed ;o) Talking through my chlidhood and the things that happened, what I learned, what I want for them, my first period, boyfriends etc etc, doing about 3 tapes, one for when they're young, one for near puberty and teenage years, and one for when they get married, want to start families etc, discuss my medical history, my mums etc. I quite like the whole idea. My friend who was orphaned in her teens thinks its a good idea too - and hey, hopefully I'll still be around to watch them all ;o) Why not?!

soniat-d (153 )    11:18 pm, 21 Apr

 261.      (3)

          Look forward to the U2 concert eh Tishie?!

soniat-d (153 )    11:20 pm, 21 Apr

 262.         sonia those videos sound like a lovely idea

          something we should all do really. And I know you're going to be watching those videos in your old age :o)

nicki5 (109 )    11:20 pm, 21 Apr

 263.         videos etc is something we should all do

          (as you never know what is around the corner). I wrote both my children a letter shortly after they were born and put it in their special "boxes" for when they are older (just in case I'm not around). However, I must update it as my daughter is now 8 and son is 4, lol. Don't think I would look good on a home video (need to lose some kgs first, lol) but might write them some up to date letters.

mimi1 (224 )    11:24 pm, 21 Apr

 264.      Aww she3

          My sympathies... it can be cut out I hope? Best of luck. How did they find it? Smear or more? Best wishes to you ;o)

soniat-d (153 )    11:26 pm, 21 Apr

 265.      I hear you mimi!

          Will certainly picking my "good days" for the me in front of camera shots! I was thinking of mixing it in with slowly walking through the photo albums (using tripod so camera nice and steady) and just being the voice. Up till now there's hardly any footage of me on all our family videos, I always thought I was too pale, fat, bad hair etc etc. Now Lydia keeps asking "where are you mummy?" as she watches the old footage, and gets so excited when I'm glimpsed for a few seconds. So have decided I'll jusy bite the bullet and try to look the best I can for them ;o)

soniat-d (153 )    11:33 pm, 21 Apr

266.      Sleeping pills taking effect

          So bye bye from me - off to the land of nod!

soniat-d (153 )    11:34 pm, 21 Apr

 267.         Thanks

          Went in for a smear...but didn't even need that,As Dr said she could see my cervix and the cancer...So she has made all the appointment's at the hospital for me....then she also found lump to the left side of womb....So just hopeing it hasn't spread and that they can laser the area effected...Find out early next week....Finger's crossed that everything work's out as I am bring up 6 kid's on my own.....

she3 (664 )    11:36 pm, 21 Apr

 268.         sonia, looking at your photos on profile and

          web page - you have nothing to worry about appearing on camera.

mimi1 (224 )    11:37 pm, 21 Apr

 269.         Awww keep me posted she

          I'm pretty sure thats what a friend of mine had when we were back in our early twenties and she had a hysterectomy basically, at age like 22! And was fine after, no recurrances to date. So I guess try not to panick too much (rich coming from me I know!). Good luck to you!

soniat-d (153 )    11:42 pm, 21 Apr

 270.         Cheers Mimi ;o)

          Those pics are all without the chemo weight I've gained this year :o/ But hey, the power of makeup and wigs are not to be underestimated LOL! Thanks for that ;o) Nitey night from me!

soniat-d (153 )    11:44 pm, 21 Apr

 271.         BTW thanks Nicki too

          Glad to hear the consensus is that its a good idea - was afraid I might get donged on for planning something like that!?! But no matter if they do, feels like the right thing to do for me, and my girls. Could be fun too!

soniat-d (153 )    11:46 pm, 21 Apr

 272.      Yes as many of you have said

          this is good news but overall things are certainly much grimmer than they were a week ago! As you can tell through this thread, I've gone through the weepy stage, the worrying stage, now the over elation LOL But now its back to acceptance and fighting the fight, and realising that at any time things could suddenly get super-serious. The speed that these lumps have grown is scary, man. I'll be very interested to see how they respond to radiation over these next few weeks. Am keen for next round of biopsy results to show a slight mutation so I can

soniat-d (153 )    11:53 pm, 21 Apr

 273.         LOL ignore the above thread

          Thats the missing one (ref #357)finally found and mistakingly uploaded as I closed down LOL! D'oh I am losing it!

soniat-d (153 )    11:55 pm, 21 Apr

 274.      I meant #257 sorry


soniat-d (153 )    11:57 pm, 21 Apr

 275.         Sonia

          Hi, If your wondering why I am sitting around posting at 1.15 in the morning its because I flicked to your web site at around 11.30pm and have just returned to tm after reading the entire journaling of your life over the past five six years. Firstly you have a lovely family and your daughters are gorgeous. It is so easy to see what happy, contented and loved children they are. In many ways I probably have an inkling of what your going through right now as I have also had shock 'out of the blue' health scare that not only came as a huge surprise but really scared me and left me battling such a mxed range of emotions I thought it would send me crazy. I remember wanting to kick myself (or others) for taking good health for granted and feeling so powerless to get myself well again'. It felt like my life had suddenly became a game of russian roulette and the worst part was not being able to have reasurrance that everything would be ok.

new2_u (45 )    1:22 am, 22 Apr

 276.         cont

          My thoughts and prayers are certainly with you at this time. If there is anything I can do to help you in any way please just ask. If ever there was a time to let others share your load and understand that people do want to help, all you have to do is say what you need (unfortunatly dispite numerous tugs on the wish bones of many scarificial chickens, I have still not been granted the skill of mind reading) so as hard as it may be to ask for help (I know I found it so hard to do myself) but I'm here and the offer of help is just an easy 'yes' away. Take care, stay strong, I had better go and get some sleep. Bye for now.

new2_u (45 )    1:30 am, 22 Apr

 277.         So many brave and courageous people

          out there. It must be so hard. I don't know what to say except we will keep praying for you all.

boop2 (106 )    9:27 am, 22 Apr

 278.         yep sonia....roll on the U2 concert - whenever it

          may be!!!! I'll be there, looking for you in the crowd. Hope I don't miss the show coz I'm too busy trying to spot you! LOL!! Have you discussed with your oncologist the possibility of removing your other breast? I'm being blardy personal so tell me to PO if you want, I'll understand. It's just I remember a few years back when they did one of those reality shows in an Akld hospital there was a young mum with aggressive breast cancer (I think her name was Bronwyn Jones) and she insisted the doctors remove both her breasts because she'd lost several family members to breast cancer...

tishie (60 )    10:37 am, 22 Apr

 279.         cont'd....

          The doctors didn't want to do a double mastectomy but she insisted and then after the healthy breast was removed they discovered it had early stages of cancer! I'm not trying to tell you what to do - hope you don't take it that way. I just want to see you beat the big C so in years to come you can watch the videos you made for your daughters and cringe thinking "did I REALLY wear those clothes - Ooooh how embarrassing!" Hahhaahaaa!!

tishie (60 )    10:40 am, 22 Apr

 280.         Hi Sonia

          Popping in to see how you are, and I was thinking last night that honesty is the best thing here.Soon as the big "C" word comes along we all get scared trying to think of things to say to the person who has it, trying not to put foot in mouth.Honestly Sonia if it were me I'd be petrifed, scared sh*tless actually. I'd see my life roll past me and panic.But then the practical side me would come along and analysis it and look at my options.I'd still be scared but life still continues to go forth and so will you.I love the idea that you're going to do videos of yourself for your girls in case your not here when your girls are older, thats practical and an awesome thing to do.And I hope you'll get to watch it with the girls when they're older.I guess I'm trying to say "I hear you" I hear what your saying and I hear your fear and your emotions and I'm here for you if ever you need a sounding board - Hugs Wendy.

winnie15 (107 )    11:23 am, 22 Apr

 281.         Thanks so much all :o)

          Yep its hard, I realise its not good, even with latest good news, just trying to turn all this into a positive wherever possible. I'm glad the tapes are considered a good idea by all, thanks for the feedback, will probably start them later next week. Will take a while to get everything on there - so much to say! We're off to our nanny's wedding soon and I've just got back from dropping the girls at my parents house (3 blocks away ;o) Emily SCREAMED when I tried to leave and was in an absolute state, tried consoling her but nothing helped so in the end I had to leave her like that - never done that before :o( I cried driving home, but now she's fine apparently so it was a big act for me. Still believe she was genuinely upset, made me think of things I shouldn't be thinking right now #sigh# Just glad she's OK now. Well off to decide what I'm going to wear this arvo - harder to look good with this extra weight and only one boob LOL Can't handle wearing a bra/prosthesis anymore - area too sensitive. So guess I'll

soniat-d (153 )    12:58 pm, 22 Apr

 282.         contd

          ... be a walking ad for mammograms LOL

soniat-d (153 )    1:13 pm, 22 Apr

 283.         enjoy the wedding sonia!!

          don't ya just love how kids scream when you leave them but as soon as you're out of sight they're back to their normal selves?! It's amazing how early they learn to manipulate and tug on the old heartstrings - the cheeky imps!

tishie (60 )    1:39 pm, 22 Apr

 284.         yeah, I do tapes and have a journal

          for miss 7. It has entries in it from the day I realised I was pregnant until now. It's mostly about her and how wonderful I think she is lol (I'm sentimental). It also has bits on it about how I met and fell in love with her dad, about our wedding day etc... And a small but appropriate bit about our divorce. Of course all of her small achievements etc are in there. Good and bad lol ;) Another thing my family has done is share 2 plants. I have sunflowers in my garden that I resow every year. The original seeds are my gran's, from years ago. All of us kids etc have the sunflowers. It's a nice way to unite us all, even though we all live so far apart. We have a violet too that is even older, it dates back from England about 100 yrs ago. Anyway, each year when I plant the sunflowers, I remember my family :) Erica is into it already and she is only 7. "That's Nannys plant, eh Mum??"

cake4 (155 )    2:26 pm, 22 Apr

 285.         Thats cool - thanks for the ideas cake 4 :o)

          Had a lovely time at the wedding, tough though with both bride and grooms fathers both deceased from cancer, and them saying how they wish they were there etc. I told brent tonight I want to do the tapes. Girls were EXCELLENT for their grandparents while we were away (yay!). Night all, thanks for everything :o)

soniat-d (153 )    11:05 pm, 22 Apr

 286.         Hi Sonia

          How are you today or this evening now it is lol another big day for you tomorrow if i remeber correctly, will be thinking of you

aggy1 (118 )    9:46 pm, 23 Apr

 287.         bump for u

          sonia :)

michelle147 (188 )    9:48 pm, 23 Apr

 288.         thinking of you tomorrow

          good luck

boop2 (106 )    10:05 pm, 23 Apr

 289.         same sonia

          and hope you manage to sleep tonight and no sneaking back in here late!

landylass (47 )    10:07 pm, 23 Apr

 290.         yup....

          I send you good thoughts at different times of the day sonia.... stay positive sweets, (((cyberhugs)))

roseyposey2 (70 )    10:22 pm, 23 Apr

 291.         Good luck for tomorrow Sonia

          your positive attitude is inspiring and gives courage to others facing uncertainty in their lives. And the videos for your gorgeous girls is a wonderful idea.

mcdaff (43 )    10:45 pm, 23 Apr

 292.         Awww thanks everyone!

          I've just been replying to friends emails :o) Not so nervous about bone scan after the CT scan results, but then tumors are very close to my chest wall which is I assume the ribcage?! Learning as I go with this nightmare ;o) I have to say I'm feeling a little fatalistic at the mo, after the wedding - I've decided weddings and funerals are a no no for me in next 6 months! My mum and dad fly out overseas on Tuesday for 5 months, so worrying a little about childcare issues as things worsen in next few months. At least we still have Brents parents nearby. Not to worry, I have learned to ask for help when needed. Thanks again all :o)

soniat-d (153 )    10:55 pm, 23 Apr

 293.      Hey boop2

          Hope your sister is still well, thats great to know that it worked for her - thanks for sharing that :o) I'm taking it you're saying that was a recurrance too? I just wish we'd found my new lumps before the radiation started, so we could cut them out first like your sister's - feeling them inside me gives me the heebeejeebees ;o/ Will feel better when the radiation is rejigged and stepped up. At least I found them when I did - if I'd said nothing, goodness knows how much longer it would have gone till they were discovered! I'm focussing on that ;o)

soniat-d (153 )    11:05 pm, 23 Apr

 294.      Hi ruthies (very belatedly!)

          Yes thanks I have no worries with anyone knowing what I'm dealing with (hence the MB and my website LOL ;o) Yes thanks, all prayers and positive vibes gratefully accepted! Thanks so much :o)

soniat-d (153 )    11:07 pm, 23 Apr

 295.      Thinking of you she3

          as you also await your results - is a hysterectomy an option? Just wondering, I'm an ignoramus re cervical cancer, hysterectomies etc. Interested to learn... but anyway, my thoughts are with you too, please come back and let me know how you are getting on. Big hugs ((((( )))))

soniat-d (153 )    11:13 pm, 23 Apr

 296.         Hi Sonia...

          Just wanted to wish you all the best! You have an awesome website & gorgeous look great too! I am due for a cervical smear but kept putting it off as they are so painful for me but you have just inspired me to go do it after reading this whole thread and your site. I wish you all the best of luck! Take care :)

miss3rotor (20 )    11:17 pm, 23 Apr

 297.         Cool Sonia

          I will make the call early in the morning. I love your idea about making videos for your children. I wish I had a camera now and could do the same. I'm going to write them letters I think in the absence of anything else. I'm scrapping albums for them, so I think I'll do an album of me, with my pictures in it and letters to them about my childhood etc.... You have inspired me LOL. Have a good night's sleep sweetie. Sleep Sweet.

ruthies (28 )    11:17 pm, 23 Apr

 298.         Hi Sonia

          Have just been catching up with your news. Keeping all fingers crossed for you, my dear. Wonder if you've heard of Phil Kerslake? You may like to read his book "Life, Happiness & Cancer: Survive with Action and Attitude" or just look at his website . His story is quite remarkable, and very inspiring. So far he's beaten cancer 6 times. Do hope there is something in his story for you. Keep positive, and be sure and have some 'me' time. God Bless.

deekayem (314 )    11:17 pm, 23 Apr

 299.      hi sonia

          i know you dont know me but i live in massey (so not too far from the shore) so if you ever need someone to mind the kids id be happy to help out - i have a 5 year old son but i dont work so am free most days - Liz. you can just leave a msg for me in a thread.

unco12 (457 )    11:19 pm, 23 Apr

 300.        Hi new2_u

          Thanks for everything you said - yep you understand exactly the mindset I'm currently in! Its so frustrating having my body call the shots on my future when I've always been used to being in the drivers seat! Thanks Deekayem - I'll certainly look into that website. Thanks for letting me know about it. Thats probably whats wierdest to be about this recurrance is I felt I was so positive and sure I'd be fine, I expected that alone to beat it!

soniat-d (153 )    11:24 pm, 23 Apr

301.     Hi Tishie :o)

          Yeah, wish you were closer, I agree, feel the same (thats from a much earlier post of yours ;o) When that concert gets confirmed I'll let you know where we're seated, you never know, maybe we can hook up before or after - If you have spare time while in Auckland give me a call (from website addy and TM profile you can certainly work out my phone no!) Yep I'm still thinking seriously about removing (or at least reducing) my other boob. It has been carefully scanned just the other day and is all clear still. Thing is, I now will never reconstruct this right side, given what's happened and what will happen. And I hate my prosthesis, so at least a reduction is certainly on the agenda now. Will be discussing all this with docs over next month. Also planning to call Cancer Society tomorrow afternoon and update them - my CS nurse will then hopefully come around and discuss it with me too - a 2nd opinion is always nice ;o)

soniat-d (153 )    11:32 pm, 23 Apr

 302.     sonia

          my sister got AML in 1996 snd a recurence in 1998 and wsant supposed to make it but she is still here today! keep your chin up hun!

unco12 (457 )    11:32 pm, 23 Apr

 303.       Hi Winnie15 ;o)

          Thats so true - you go through a process with this I believe - and I'm going through it again now. Ignorance is the worst, the hardest thing with having prseschoolers is not havingthe time to read countless books on the subject etc. Trouble is, for every miracle discovery there seems to be another one that counters it if you know what I mean. Which one to take? Thats whats messing with me now... not that much though, really waiting to see what my specialists and BC nurse tell me this week. Eeek... off to take one more sleeping pill, yikes don't want to get addicted to them LOL!!!

soniat-d (153 )    11:38 pm, 23 Apr

 304.     Thats SOOO cool Unco!

          Thats made my night! Yippee for your sis!!

soniat-d (153 )    11:39 pm, 23 Apr

 305.       sonia

          ...i mean when i say id love to help out...i have HEAPS of experience with little ones!

unco12 (457 )    11:39 pm, 23 Apr

 306.       sonia

          a wonderful friend she made on the ward (6A) was also at many times very close to dying BUT she has just had her second child!

unco12 (457 )    11:41 pm, 23 Apr

 307.       Thanks unco :o)

          My youngest is hideous at being left with anyone at the mo, so while I appreciate the offer, don't think thats a possibility just yet... BUT if you'd like to visit with your son so they could play together any afternoon, that'd be cool! We all love meeting new people ;o) See if you can work out how to contact me (see clues in 301 above ;o)

soniat-d (153 )    11:45 pm, 23 Apr

 308.       re 306 thats even cooler!!!

          Hey what does AML stand for???

soniat-d (153 )    11:46 pm, 23 Apr

 309.     that would be lovely!

          thomas loves playing with littlies...he keeps telling me to have a baby!! bit hard to explain to a five year old that its not quite that ok ill see if i can figure it out (how to contact you).

unco12 (457 )    11:47 pm, 23 Apr

 310.       AML

          Acute My....(sp) Luekamia. (can never remember how to pronounce second word). Sister had a bone marrow transplant but the other girl didnt need to. my sister has also just had a baby (feb) through Ivf.

unco12 (457 )    11:48 pm, 23 Apr

 311.     Let me know if you can't

          and I'll do something else ;o) But the make it real easy the t-d on the end of my TM name is our double-barrelled surname, and there's only two of us in all of NZ LOL

soniat-d (153 )    11:50 pm, 23 Apr

 312.     Thats awesome for your sister :o)

          Next time you talk to her, please pass on my congrats on both counts, I wish her all the best. Must go now, get my beauty sleep. Early start tomorrow! Night all!

soniat-d (153 )    11:52 pm, 23 Apr

 313.       *snap*

          just realised that! Thomas' school finishes at 2.45 so we could come one day about 3ish and bring some afternoon tea.

unco12 (457 )    11:53 pm, 23 Apr

 314.       nite sonia

          hope you get a great sleep and sweet dreams *hugs*

unco12 (457 )    11:53 pm, 23 Apr

315.       Nite unco

          We complicate things a little by the only two of us with the same surname both living on the same street in Northcote LOL (yep close family!) - just note the initials ;o) Yep thats a great idea - Lydia's school finishes at 3 and we walk home (not far) so always here from 3.15 :o)

soniat-d (153 )    11:57 pm, 23 Apr

 316.     ok...

          looking forward to it :)

unco12 (457 )    11:57 pm, 23 Apr

 317.     I am going now I promise!!!


soniat-d (153 )    11:58 pm, 23 Apr

 318.       Best of luck today Sonia

          I'm off to work soon.My thoughts will be with you. I will check in tonight after 10pm when I get home. Fingers and toes crossed for you.

maewest (75 )    11:35 am, 24 Apr

 319.       hiya Sonia

          been thinking of you today.....hope things have gone well for you :o)

tishie (60 )    1:20 pm, 24 Apr

 320.     Hi there :o)

          It was a horrible morning, not result-wise but just what the radiologist told me. He basically said "Well crickey, I've never seen this happen before, looks like that chemo was a waste of time eh?" So I said, ah well, I always knew deep down it was radiation I needed for this - this will shrink them won't it? And he shrugged!?! I left there and just balled, decided to go to the Cancer Society next door for some info/reassurance etc and they were AWESOME. She said Dr Benjamin is always like that and as far as radiologists go, he's at the bottom of their list of recommendations. She said with women my age recurrance is very common (around 30-40%) because we have the more aggressive type. "This is only a setback, not a disaster" she said. "Its localised not metastatic so easily fixed with radiation and operation". She said lots of other good stuff, but must wake the girls now sorry - more later ;o)

soniat-d (153 )    2:41 pm, 24 Apr

 321.     OK a little bit more...

          So bone scan looks OK at first glance, and apparently no changes to MRI results from the initial verbal ones. Big meeting of all my specialists together on Wednesday evening and I'm to call after 7.30pm to find out results etc. Then will have bone scan, MRI, pathology, biopsy, and hopefully they'll have an action plan for me. The big thing is the receptors (from the biopsy) if the tumors are mutantions of the original, rather than exactly the same, then we have for options to beat it. So thats the biggie.

soniat-d (153 )    3:05 pm, 24 Apr

 322.       Oh other bad thing this morning that really

          got me worked up is that Dr Benji only put the request in for another orientation (ie re-setup of radiation treatment adjusted to this new more dire new situation) this morning and so it looking like over two weeks till I can get in for it (they're all booked up) so (A) some new cancerous nodes aren't in the treatment zone aren't being attacked for another two weeks and (B) looks like I'm up for at least another 7 weeks of radiation now!!! :o/

soniat-d (153 )    3:08 pm, 24 Apr

 323.       man, WHY do people with the bedside manner

          of a rock bother getting into medicine? Especially fields where empathy is important?! GRRRR!!! We have an OB/GYN here that's like that, but at least when I have to see him in a couple of weeks about my caesarean I'm not going to be worrying about dying so I can handle his abrupt manner - he's a capable surgeon just not easy to talk to. Sounds like you got a Li Mei doctor!! Thank goodness the cancer Society woman had more empathy and made the effort to talk things through with you.

tishie (60 )    3:39 pm, 24 Apr

 324.       I just

          wanted to say how wonderful it is that you are so positive about what is going on. I wish you all the best for your results. I think the video tape idea was a wonderful idea. Stay positive, cry when you need to and have plenty of fun with your family.

kklan (201 )    3:47 pm, 24 Apr

 325.       Did you feel like socking Mr Benji in the eye

          Sonia? - geez some Dr's have no PR do they.Remain positive through this Sonia , you've got it in there cos I've seen it in you before.Yay for the cancer society!! Glad you've got those sleeping tablets they'd be a God send I reckon... you'll not need them forever so you won't get addicted! -Hugs

winnie15 (107 )    4:03 pm, 24 Apr

 326.       OMG, my surgeon is just like this

          All the bedside manner of a plate of kidney beans and seemingly not as skilled as I'd been led to believe either. It is so frustrating. I'm so glad the Cancer Society was there for you though. Chin up chooky.

ruthies (28 )    4:06 pm, 24 Apr

 327.       Sounds like the

          anaesthetist I had recently who when I said I didn't like the coming round part brushed me off with a brusque "well, it's better than not" . This was 2 minutes before the op, and I actually had concerns from the last op I had, but gave it away. You just have to draw on your own strength at times like that. I'm sorry you had to deal with it though Sonia, as the last thing you need is someone like that. And you'd think common sense would prevail with the radiation treatment wouldn't you. I'm so glad the Cancer Society people were there for you.

brish (314 )    4:12 pm, 24 Apr

 328.       oh sonia

          looks like we have both had a bad day. Check out the other thread. Looks like I am on my way to Dunedin hospital tonight. My blood counts have hit the pits. Good luck for Wednesday... will be thinking of you.

landylass (47 )    5:32 pm, 24 Apr

 329.       landylass wots the name of your thread?

          can't find it/

winnie15 (107 )    6:59 pm, 24 Apr

 330.       sonia.....

          My field of work deals with cancer detection (I'm a Medical Lab Scientist, and my specialty is cytology). And for what it's worth I have seen many people facing the challenges you are, (recurrence) survive and live happy lives. One of them is my very precious Mum. :) (and believe me, at times it hasn't been easy dealing with her illness armed with the knowledge I have!!) Keep your chin up and ignore the Dr's like the one you mentioned!! big hugs mate!!

cake4 (155 )    7:20 pm, 24 Apr

 331.       winnie15

          The thread is:- Breast checks, please allow me a daft question.

kelsall (222 )    7:23 pm, 24 Apr

 332.       Hi Sonia

          Just like to say "Stay positive" can make a big difference. I am keeping you in my thoughts and prayers. I have beeen following your threads. I know you can do it. Stay strong.

tinkerbelle4 (44)    7:36 pm, 24 Apr

 333.       thx kelsall


winnie15 (107 )    7:40 pm, 24 Apr

 334.     Thanks Guys :o)

          Its hard to stay strong when the specialist whos your biggest hope looks like he's visually measuring me up for a coffin :o/ Yep I'm a firm believer in positivity, this has just been a huge few days, I think we're all allowed to liose it occasionally?! Brent is not a happy camper this evening - doesn't help! But thanks all, I will put my positivity back out of my hat as soon as possible! Hopefully after Wednesday (if not sooner!)

soniat-d (153 )    7:42 pm, 24 Apr

 335.       Link plse landylass or kelsall

          i can't find it!! :o(

winnie15 (107 )    7:45 pm, 24 Apr

 336.       way to go sonia!

          *grabs pom poms* .. hugs.......

winnie15 (107 )    7:45 pm, 24 Apr

 337.     Landylass is staying home tonight

soniat-d (153 )    7:47 pm, 24 Apr

 338.     Thanks Cake4 :o)

          :o) Back to my girls... :o) ;o)

soniat-d (153 )    7:48 pm, 24 Apr

 339.     Oh and here's the other classic for today!

          My parents (who live 3 blocks away) are flying out tomorrow for a 5 month holiday. Mum said "We'll come back if it all turns to custard" (?!?!) Like its not already LOL *sigh*

soniat-d (153 )    8:02 pm, 24 Apr

 340.       sonia you need your mum now

          although you have lot's on here I wish I could help you . Mum stay home and go later

boop2 (106 )    9:09 pm, 24 Apr

 341.       Tell me about it Boop2 :o/

          I could never do that to my girls, no matter how old they are. But then she's a very different person to me. She has been a great help up till now though. At least we still have Brents parents here, gotta count my blessings, of which there are many ;o)

soniat-d (153 )    9:19 pm, 24 Apr

 342.       Brent's parents will help out with your

          girls though?? From your postings above, you are 'able' to ask for help which is a good thing :)

cake4 (155 )    9:29 pm, 24 Apr

 343.     Yep they're good with the girls

          Just can't fall back on them every day after the op. At least we have about 10 weeks to sort out an alternate plan. MIL doesn't understand why my Mum is leaving, neither do I. I want my Mommmeeee !!!

soniat-d (153 )    10:00 pm, 24 Apr

 344.       Im sorry Sonia.......

          I had to giggle at the "turning to custard" said by your mum!........*big snogs for you* Stay Strong Girl........

scottyc3 (163 )    10:02 pm, 24 Apr

 345.     Brent and I laughed at it too!

          Best to laugh about it really ;o)

soniat-d (153 )    10:46 pm, 24 Apr

 346.     Hey Sonia

          I too have met your Mr Benji. I drove an hour from Waihi to Matamata, picked the Aunt up and drive to Auckland, where I promptly got lost for about half an hour, finally found his rooms and sat in the waiting room for half an hour. Saw him, received no good news and toddled home again..lost in thought I somehow missed the turn off, and ended up going a very long way home. A week later I picked the Aunt up again, and went through to an awesome specialist in Hamilton, who asked us how we had got on the previous week. He told us that we were lucky to be seen so quickly...and at that I couldn't resist. I told him that it was definitely very quickly, as we would have been in and out of the specialist room in about 5 mins in total, but it had taken me damn near 6 hours driving for the privilege! Lucky the new specialist had a sense of fact he cracked up. Apparently Mr Benji does know his stuff, but is not known for his bedside manner. And, truth be told, everyone who knows me knows I am navigationally c

sonja2 (303 )    11:17 pm, 24 Apr

 347.       Challenged!

          . Was just wondering...maybe your Mum continuing with this holiday is good for her, maybe she needs time to deal with the recent set-back news. I am sure she will be home in a flash if you ever need her.

sonja2 (303 )    11:20 pm, 24 Apr

 348.     Thanks Sonja2

          Yeah, she freaked after the first cancer episode last year, and coincidentally was about to fly out then too (day I was returning home from hospital as it turned out) and three days later (after I was trying to recover from op with the kids all over me) she called up and said "I never left, cos I was feeling sick (with worry)" (like I wasn't worried too?!). After the shock that she'd hidden from us for 3 days we laughed that she didn't say "I stayed because I couldn't leave you with all this going on" kinda thing... Ah well, enough of that, think when any future trip is planned I'll rush off for an ultrasound, as given recent history, their holidays seem to bring on cancer in me LOL What are the chances of this happening twice!?! *Runs off to buy Lotto ticket*

soniat-d (153 )    11:38 pm, 24 Apr

 349.       Hi Soniad

          Just tuned in. I have just had my sister diagnosed with same, hers returned as well. Not good this time round apparently but optimistic. I live on the North Shore also so if you need anything just give me a hollar. Have two kids myself - both at school. My sis is way down South so not able to help much. I was going to the Doc to get a full check up after a friend of a friend was diagnosed with breast cancer as well but kept putting it off. After the news about my sister I will be in for a mammogram - the works. For those that don't have a family history I don't think they do mammograms for women under 50? I think. Well now I do so I will push for this. Hope you are well this evening or sleeping well anyway. You sound really positive and I admire your strong attitude to life. Will check in again tomorrow - better be off as hubby is annoyed that I stay up so late on these MB's. Nighty, night, love and light to you and your family!

sands7 (6 )    12:10 am, 25 Apr

 350.     Tell you what

          I will make you a sort this cancer bizzo out, and I will confiscate your Mums passport as soon as she gets back from this trip. Between us, I think that'll have it covered.

sonja2 (303 )    12:17 am, 25 Apr

 351.        sands7

          yes they do mamograms now from the age of 45 and earlier if you have history in the family. Just thought I'd mention that

goodness46 (419 )    7:45 am, 25 Apr

 352.        Awww sands 7 - good luck for your sister

          Is her recurrance local still also or has it spread? The CS said yesterday local recurrances at my age are common (like 30%)and typically further back in breast on chest wall (like mine) - but still not as bad as we think. Mines just a concern cos it came back during treatment! Glad you're getting a mammogram - keep on it too everyone. If your breast feels wierd at ALL (like a tight or tugging feeling inside, nipples pucker etc) then RUN for a checkup! Mammograms can really save you life (or at least all the nasty I'm going through), please pay for them if government wont pay, and be aware that when young, the lumps grow fast (my 2cm lumps weren't felt by two specialists 7 weeks ago - and the area they are located is not much bigger - I'm very pleased I opted against a reconstruction at time of op as I still would not have felt them possibly yet?!

soniat-d (153 )    8:44 am, 25 Apr

 353.     LOL sonja2


soniat-d (153 )    8:49 am, 25 Apr

 354.        hey sonia, im a bit of a chubby girl so i

          could sit on ur mum for you, she wouldnt have a chance to fly away then... lol hope ur doing good tonight :)

michelle147 (188 )    8:58 pm, 25 Apr

 355.        Hi Sonia

          I hope you have a better week this week! Have been thinking about you. Ive just had a weekend up north of Kaitaia for a wedding. Was nice. Haven't been away for so long. I did the wedding flowers. Heres a cute little story which might make you smile...The bride asked me to put a glittery butterfly in the bouquet (which was soft pink, lime, white) it looked so gorgeous and apparently was significant to them both. Anyway when I dropped off the bouquet and buttonhole, I noticed a little looper caterpillar on the buttonhole, i was going to flick it off, then i thought, how amazing, caterpillar - butterfly, was just so appropriate, so i left it there. Hours later I was telling the groom this story and on inspection of the buttonhole, found the little caterpillar snuggled up under the rose looking out at us!!!! Anyway, have a great week, might catch up with you tomorrow...cheers Treenie X

treenie3 (201 )    9:30 pm, 25 Apr

 356.        Sonia, these Mums are

          a mixed blessing. When mine had breast cancer in the UK, my sister had to fly over to be with her, even though my brothers are both over there, and then when my sister had her turn my Mum had just arrived for a holiday and she couldn't handle it. Then 7 years later she was due to come here again when I was diagnosed. We persuaded her to still come, but she did't handle it at all well. She didn't recognise me at the airport as I was supposed to be home in bed. I think these Mums have all sorts of mixed feelings going on, but I'm sure she'll return if you need her. I would have had an easier time of it without my Mum to be honest, and yay to the husbands who support us....I've known of one or two who fled, albeit temporarily.

brish (314 )    9:31 pm, 25 Apr

 357.        Hi there ladies :o)

          Thanks for thinking of me ;o) It was a busy busy day yesterday - Brent finally finished our flash rimu double-desk so we assembled it in our study yesterday morning (that took a while - its very big!) and then were transferring stuff from our old desks, shredding old bank statements etc. Brents old desk went into Lydia's bedroom and we ended up reorganising all that room too LOL. And carpet people coming to finish restretching our carpet in our lounge room (they've been doing all our house room by room over past 6 months!) so we had to move out the bookcases and furniture too from there. Way too much for me to be doing in this state I pointed out - I'm knackered! And in the middle of all that we went out to the airport to wave my parents off. Made an outing of it for the kids! Hence why I have not been on here! Feeling mentally much better, physically not so much #sigh# Hate feeling those lumps on my chest wall - hate it, and I'm sure they're growing. Grrr. Beautiful sunny day here though and will try and res

soniat-d (153 )    9:09 am, 26 Apr

 358.     contd

          ... rest up today. I'm trying to persuade Brent to come with me to the treatment this morning. He wants to keep sorting his desk (he decided to take today off to do that). Will be interesting to see who wins LOL.

soniat-d (153 )    9:10 am, 26 Apr

 359.     Hi Sonia

          Ive read your threads before and have seen you at Spirit site ... I just want to say with the positive mental attitude you have you cannot possibly go wrong !!!! Stay strong ..... kia kaha PS Yes Ive had my mammogram ... and it wasnt half as bad as they make out lol

possumeyes (0)    9:21 am, 26 Apr

 360.        Morning...

          Was wondering how you coped seein g the parents off. You send some of that sunshine down here... they are talking about declaring a civil emergency here this morning as we have had so much rain and more is predicted. Best I don't get sick today and need to get to Dunedin because I think the road is closed! Be thinking of you finding out what the next step is. Stay positive.

landylass (47 )    9:33 am, 26 Apr

 361.     have a good day Sonia

          Are your girls at school? i have just put my littlest one down for a sleep but can hear him chirping away to himself! The other two are still in Taupo on hols with their Dad. Might have a coffee and then go outside for a while! Have got about 30 plants to get in the garden. Bit cold here in Rotorua but sun is shining so thats good :o). Catch you later..Treenie

treenie3 (201 )    10:39 am, 26 Apr

 362.        Hi all!

          What a wacky day LOL. It's raining here now. Brent did come with me this morning (yay) and the stupid receptionist somehow thought she registered our arrival but didn't. So arrived 10 mins early, waited 35 mins and thought "I think we'll go down and wait there" and found out everyone half an hour after us were going through. Grrr. And now looks like they're striking tomorrow. Unbelievable that with something like this they affect your treatment for monetary gain, but hey... *shrugs* Oh well, nice having Brent home today :o) He came into the room and saw me all being set up, they explained it all to him and he said it was really interesting.

soniat-d (153 )    12:09 pm, 26 Apr

 363.        Hi treenie

          Lydia started school about 7 weeks ago, Emily is at creche. They turned 5 and 3 last month :o)

soniat-d (153 )    12:11 pm, 26 Apr

 364.        hi sonia

          glad to hear you won & Brent came with you! Was it your bone scan today? I've forgotten - what with nappy & preggy brain!! LOL!! Well, that's my excuse for being a lame-brain and I'm sticking to it. I can't believe you guys did so much reorganising with you not being well! You put me to shame that's for sure! I have to rearrange the kids rooms but I keep putting it off. Still not sure where I'll put this baby when he arrives in a month or so. Right now the bottom drawer is looking good!!! LOL!

tishie (60 )    1:02 pm, 26 Apr

 365.        Hi sonia...

 are you doing? Was really sorry to hear about your tests - must be so frustrating! Have been really busy lately so have'nt had time to get on-line - will be back tomorrow. Take care.

wlgdgirl (80 )    1:28 pm, 26 Apr

 366.        jeepers just when you need your mum too!

          I wish I was closer to help you and the girls Sonia, can you get your friends to help with the girls after treatments etc?

winnie15 (107 )    2:04 pm, 26 Apr

 367.        Hi Tishie :o)

          We're overdoing it bigtime! I'm known for this - my mind's desire to achieve drives me, despite my body screaming to slow down! I just know, having just come out from an operation and chemo period when NOTHING got done, that its now or never and its nice when sick at home to be happy the way things are - thinking we're running out of time though! (Youch!) Hope we're not being silly...

soniat-d (153 )    2:29 pm, 26 Apr

 368.     Hi Landylass :o)

          Sorry can't get on here much with Brent home - he hates me being on here LOL! I think all this activity has been good for me mentally, distracting me from whats going on, though thats been my theory all along, and look where it got me :o/ I'm feeling fine today thanks, it was fine I guess seeing Mum and Dad off, I'd feel bad if I'd made her stay back from such an exciting trip, so we'll see how we get on, if things get ugly here, I'll just send her an email saying "ITS TURNING TO CUSTARD!!!" LOL

soniat-d (153 )    2:34 pm, 26 Apr

 369.        Glad your mamm went well Possumeyes

          THanks a lot - yes I sure hope positive attitude will do it! Tonights the big night - all results in - yikes trying not to think about hat!

soniat-d (153 )    2:36 pm, 26 Apr

 370.        hi sonia,

          hugs again to you ,Brent and those beautiful wee girls.

boop2 (106 )    2:52 pm, 26 Apr

 371.        Hi Soniatd

          I have not communicated with you before--but please know I am thinking of you at this time and sending lots of good wishes your way--I have got into the habit of checking on this thread each day--I think it's great that you can write what you do in here--it's an inspiration to others and a huge help to others going thru this same illness. Take care.

jarjarbinks01 (4 )    3:41 pm, 26 Apr

 372.        Good luck for those results

          tonight Sonia. Miss 16 has come down with a cold... just what I need in the house at the moment with no immune system!

landylass (47 )    3:53 pm, 26 Apr

 373.     Good luck

          from me as well - sending lots and lots of positive vibes online to you!!!

zebidi (282 )    4:28 pm, 26 Apr

 374.     Hi there Jarjarbinks ;o)

          Love to TM name hee hee! Thanks for that, and to you too Zebidi ;o) Feeling fine today (except for now usual pains in that area) mabybe I'm living in denial again LOL but what the hey ;o)

soniat-d (153 )    4:33 pm, 26 Apr

 375.        Hey Landylass ;o)

          Glad you've escaped admission so far, hope you're being treated like a Queen! Tell Kylie to stay well away from you, this is the time to look after #1 as best you can ;o)

soniat-d (153 )    4:35 pm, 26 Apr

 376.        Oh hey again Tishie ;o)

          Sorry, missed your question, bone scan was on Friday (I think LOL) anyway, visually looked fine, detailed results today along with bloods, biopsy, CT. All my specialists getting together tonight and discussing together best action plan for me (and others) and I call my breast surgeon @ 7.30pm to get the full story. Fingers crossed eh? What we're mainly hoping for I believe (aside from clear bone, blood and CT results) are the biopsy to show these new lumps are mutations, rather than clones of the original. If they are mutations, then alternative chemo options are available to extend my shelf life, if clones, well, not so good, as chemo already done and didn't work ...

soniat-d (153 )    4:43 pm, 26 Apr

 377.        Hi Sonia

          Hope all goes well for you tonight. Found out about the strike too when I went in today for treatment. Ones with appointments with their onc after the treatment were being told to come in at the normal time for that and they may get treatment as well. As I'm due just for treatment I get a day at home.

nztrader2004 (477 )    5:03 pm, 26 Apr

 378.        Hi Sonia ... wow - what a lousy week it's been

          for you! But your attitude is incredible!!! We've been away for the last week - got home yesterday - just saw your thread tonight and have read all your posts. You are one remarkable woman! I wish you all the best for your results tonight - and for all your future treatments. If outcomes were all based on attitude, you'd be sitting pretty on the top of the world! Keep that positive attitude because it DOES make a big difference! I had a mammogram about three years ago - at 38 or 39 ... thankfully all clear. Praying that someday soon you'll too hear 'all clear'! :)

dj74 (123 )    5:51 pm, 26 Apr

 379.        How do you feel about that NZtrader?

          As I have tumors in there, I feel annoyed with all the public holidays interfering as it is. I was looking forward to more continuous treatments from now on - grrr! How far are you through yours?

soniat-d (153 )    7:51 pm, 26 Apr

 380.     Thanks dj74

          I have my moments, believe me! This is one of them! Thanks though, I appreciate the support no end :o)

soniat-d (153 )    7:52 pm, 26 Apr

 381.        Hope you get some positive news

          tonight Sonia. Glad you had a nice day with Brent. I love spending time with my hubby too. (most of the time! lol!) I need to do some major reorganising here of rooms/drawers etc. Wish I could do that minimilist thing but its I'm just too'homely'.. for that! Thats the trouble when you are a creative type like myself. Your girls look gorgeous, and such wonderful ages. I have 1 girl who is 9 and two boys, 1 is 7 and the other 14 months. Will look later for news of your test results. Sending you positive vibes... Treenie X

treenie3 (201 )    8:01 pm, 26 Apr

 382.        So OK... just got off from the phone :o/

          Bone scan exactly same as 8 mths ago (ie clear). MRI shows only what we already know - nothing else. Bloods OK too. The all important biopsy detail not yet in but they are expecting it to be the same, not mutation. Apparently my oncologist was upset to hear about this (I said "Not as upset as I am!") and was surprised given I tolerated max doses of chemo (lets face it that comment doesn't bode well!). He's going to visit me while I'm having one of my radiation treatments in next few weeks. Overall summary, the type of tumors I have are "very locally aggressive" so they want to irradiate the whole area like mad, and then take another CT scan 2 weeks after that is all completed and see whats what. Sounds like I'm a bit of a human guinea pig.

soniat-d (153 )    8:01 pm, 26 Apr

 383.        Cont'd...

          I reiterated my concern about my radiologists attitude and my worry about the radiation site not being adjusted sooner. She said she'd call Dr Benji (who didn't turn up for meeting tonight!) in morning and discuss it with him.

soniat-d (153 )    8:03 pm, 26 Apr

 384.     good luck Sonia

          *thinking of ya*

unco12 (457 )    8:06 pm, 26 Apr

 385.        if you dont mind me asking...

          is your radiation site sore? i remember when dad had his and his skin looked like it was severely sunburnt.

unco12 (457 )    8:07 pm, 26 Apr

 386.        I'm in the dip of the rollercoaster again

          at the mo, but off to put my girls to bed now - that should get me up the other side (this is my favourite part of the day ;o)!

soniat-d (153 )    8:07 pm, 26 Apr

 387.     Thanks unco

          Mine doesn't look like that yet, but with 7 weeks of it ahead of me it certainly will do! Not too bad at mo, its the lumps that bother me so far.

soniat-d (153 )    8:09 pm, 26 Apr

 388.     well go tuck your little angels in to bed


unco12 (457 )    8:10 pm, 26 Apr

 389.     Wish i could make you

          a nice cup of tea Sonia. You can beat this, don't let those lumps get you down. Just a pause in your recovery (or shelf life as you put it!) I like this time of night too. Nice and quiet and I can sneak in and look at the little ones fast asleep....Goodnight, take care..

treenie3 (201 )    8:28 pm, 26 Apr

 390.        Hi Sonia

          The delay doesn't really bother me. I've had postponements/delays and very short notice appointments right from the beginning and just go with the flow. I've just started treatment. Had the 2nd today. Will finish in 3 weeks.

nztrader2004 (477 )    8:41 pm, 26 Apr

 391.        So Sonia when do you

          expect to get final confirmation of those biopsies? All very fine them saying "they expect" but until they are in you don't know for sure. If you are at the dip in the rollercoaster girl the only way is up! You hang onto that.

landylass (47 )    9:03 pm, 26 Apr

 392.     Thanks Landylass

          Feeling better already - girls were angels as per usual :o) Yep I cling to hope. I still dwell in ignorant bliss - that's the best alternative at the mo I think ;o)

soniat-d (153 )    9:11 pm, 26 Apr

 393.        Hi sonia

          praying so hard for such a gutsy courageous person. From the bottom of my heart I just feel for you so much. god bless

boop2 (106 )    9:46 pm, 26 Apr

 394.     Hi treenie

          I loved your "You can beat this, don't let those lumps get you down" comment - really cheered me. Thanks for that ;o) ....And thanks heaps Boop2 ;o)

soniat-d (153 )    9:56 pm, 26 Apr

 395.        I'll say it again:

          "...don't let the bastards grind you down...." man, I love U2!!! Right, back to the subject. That's sucky to hear the lumps aren't mutations. Are they operable? You must want to just about go in there with a scalpel yourself and chop the damn things out - I know that's what I'd want to do if it was me, anyway! I know zilch about breast cancer, in fact most cancer. I guess there's nothing like being diagnosed with something to make you learn all about it - FAST! My FIL had non-hodgkins lymphoma a year or so ago. He's OK now but not been given the all-clear officially. When he had his radiation at one point it burnt the inside of his throat so badly he was admitted to hospital for three days to be put on a morphine drip for the pain. His throat was so sore he couldn't eat or drink anything. Poor guy. I never even thought about side effects like those, I just know about hair loss & nausea with chemo. Your website & threads are such an education.

tishie (60 )    10:03 pm, 26 Apr

 396.        I'm pleased your girls were little angels for you

          it's bad enough getting kids to bed when you're healthy if they decide they don't want to go (just ask me, Miss 22 months was up from midnight until 4am last night with no damn reason!!) I very cranky this morning!! Thank God your girls are better behaved than my one was!! :o) Brent sounds a lot like my husband, he gets grumpy if I ignore him coz I'm spending time on the MB too! I hope you get a good night's sleep. Does it feel strange to know there's a bunch of us all following your story and praying for you? It probably does, in a nice way I hope! :o) Good night, sleep tight - don't let the bed bugs bite! ;o)

tishie (60 )    10:09 pm, 26 Apr

 397.        Hya Tishie ;o)

          Yes I want them out out out - hand me that scalpel!!! Don't know where those ones in my armpit are though LOL! Yes my girls are just being angels - only trouble is they are creating unbelievable MESS at the mo, this house looks like a warzone - hence why dh hates me on here (Yikes here he comes now LOL)! Love everyone caring, its a humungous boost for me, thanks again everyone!

soniat-d (153 )    10:26 pm, 26 Apr

 398.     God Bless Sonia

          Keep being your usual positive self. Big Hugs to you.

rosejenny38 (1035 )    10:30 pm, 26 Apr


          I am 64 years old and was diagnosed with breast cancer last year after a routine mammogram. It was deep in the chest wall and would never have been found by examination. Had lump removed, and a couple of lymph nodes, and 25 radiotherapy treatments. Take a selection of pills now for 5 years, but am one of lucky ones - all because of my mammogram. I cannot stress enough, for women to have these. Mine saved my life. Loving wishes to you Sonia. Dize5, Hamilton.

dize5 (452 )    11:27 pm, 26 Apr

 400.         Hi Soniad

          Just checking in with you again. Glad to hear you're still in a positive frame of mind. Very important. I have to head off now as late to bed again. Been on the spirit board and hubby getting very annoyed with me. Anyway I will attempt to clock in tomorrow properly! Loads of love and hugs coming your way.

sands7 (6 )    11:33 pm, 26 Apr

401.         found on page 4

          How has today gone for you Sonia? We have sunshine today and hope you have too in more way's than one.

boop2 (106 )    1:28 pm, 27 Apr

 402.      Actually some good news of sorts today ;o)

          My radiation markup has been booked for Monday! Woohoo! Seems my rattling the cages worked LOL So that means in a few days they'll be treating ALL the lumps with radiation at higher dose etc. I'll feel much better (mentally!) then. Thanks for asking boop2 - hope you're having a great day ;o)

soniat-d (153 )    1:31 pm, 27 Apr

 403.      Thats Great News

          now go fry those little...lumps. Isn't it great to know that you are about to start dealing to 'em!

sonja2 (303 )    1:34 pm, 27 Apr

 404.      Sure is Sonia2 hee hee hee!

          Watch out guys, we're comin' after ya, guns blasin' LOL

soniat-d (153 )    1:39 pm, 27 Apr

 405.      The guns are blastin over here

          in Whakatane for you Sonia, son is in the army maybe I could get him to rustle up some mean firepower - all the very best - we're all mentally incinerating those little lumps for you, there wont be anything left by the time were through!

solarouge (46 )    1:43 pm, 27 Apr

 406.      Thanks Solarouge!


soniat-d (153 )    1:48 pm, 27 Apr

 407.         Monday? That's awesome!

          Isn't it funny, we all seem to have hubbies who get grumpy when we spend time on here...oh yeah, silly me - that's coz it's time we're not spending with them!!! Mind you Sonia, I think we can all allow Brent that right, with all you guys are going through it's only natural he wants to maximise his time with you, esp if the girls are in bed. I'll be thinking of you this Monday - make sure you enjoy the weekend, do something for yourself if you can - have a massage, manicure or blob out with chick flicks!! (poor brent!) I'll be back yabbling away to you before Monday though ;o)

tishie (60 )    2:03 pm, 27 Apr

 408.         Thats great news

          Sonia. Its good you can actually see something happening for you. Have a good day. We never got the expected downpour last night so everyone is starting to dry out finally down here. Sun was shining this morning but its looking a bit cloudy again. At least the roads are open again.

landylass (47 )    2:09 pm, 27 Apr

 409.         Tell me about it Tishie!

          Yeah, I actually only come on here at night when he's watching TV shows I'm not interested in (I only watch about 3 shows a week LOL). This new desk he made is awesome when he does then come in here, as we kind of sit facing towards each other now, its really nice. Before we had our backs to each other on either sides of the room at 2 different desks and would talk over our shoulders LOL. I think he's so clever making this, given its not his trade :o)

soniat-d (153 )    2:12 pm, 27 Apr

 410.         Here's a few piccies of The Desk Brent Built ;o)

          Putting together the skeleton for it ...Adding Rimu to the underframe ...Our almost finished desk (just fronts of drawers to be added) ...Thats my new station on the right where I'm sitting now (need a new bin LOL) .... how clever is he, you should see it in the flesh - gorgeous recycled Rimu, can hardly see the joins at all ;o) I'm sure proud of him :o)

soniat-d (153 )    2:17 pm, 27 Apr

 411.         How are you feeling Landylass?

          Hows the bloods? Glad weather was kind to you, seems we're both getting some favours our way ;o)

soniat-d (153 )    2:19 pm, 27 Apr

 412.      Sonia....

          awesome news, go get those lumps! I really admire you, your determination and strength. All the luck in the world to you ;)

salie77 (741 )    2:25 pm, 27 Apr

 413.         Away to Dunedin tomorrow....

          first appointment is planning for radiation ~~ huh if they are working!; then seeing oncologist and boy have I got a heap of questions this time! Still feeling ok. Talked to chemo nurse in Dunedin yesterday and she said I have probably been this low before but because this time I had tests I found out about it. Nothing I eat or do is going to hurry them back up, just got to wait on my body to come to the party! Chch shopping is still on [unless I get more horrible news tomorrow] so guess I will be tired tomorrow night as will be on the road for nearly 6 hours.

landylass (47 )    2:30 pm, 27 Apr

 414.         thats good news sonia

          you sound a lot better already knowing that they are going to do something now and what a great desk you husband has made will he be taking orders lol

aggy1 (118 )    2:33 pm, 27 Apr

 415.         Just checked out your photos

          Sonia.... be careful posting them on here.... we will all be wanting to borrow your talented hubby! Mine loves nothing better than building stuff too but just never has the time these days. He built a new garage but now it crammed full of vehicles and he still hasn't got the workshop part sorted out.

landylass (47 )    2:34 pm, 27 Apr

 416.         hi ladies...

          i just wanted to thank you for coming on here to talk about what you're going through. i keep up with your posts but don't always comment. your courage is to be commended! in the past months i've had a few 'infections' in my left breast which have been treated with antibiotics that seemed successful at the time but it just keeps aching...i also have a sore that won't heal in a sesitive spot (you know where i mean...LOL) so i'm off to the doc. to get checked again. i kept telling myself that i hate having someone poking around there but reading these posts and talking to a close friend has really encouraged me to get it checked and thoroughly too! hang in there girls and stay strong. i'm off to the dr. now. wish me luck.

erynne (331 )    2:38 pm, 27 Apr

 417.         good luck erynne

          hope it all works out for you i know the feeling of not wanting to go but it is better to pluck up the courage and do it

aggy1 (118 )    2:54 pm, 27 Apr

 418.         Hi Landylass :o)

          Remember I had that problem too with bloods with the AC (my doc said that was good so it showed it was working (I believe it did too BTW - it was the Taxotere that let me down IMO)). Anyway, do you have weekly blood tests? Its sounding like you don't???

soniat-d (153 )    3:25 pm, 27 Apr

 419.      Good luck from me too Erynne

          Remember we're the exception not the rule ;o) Glad you're getting it looked at - not to scare you, but my doc told me my original massive lump was probably just an infection - I pushed for a mammogram (finally). Better to be safe than sorry, trust me! I'm sure you'll be fine ;o)

soniat-d (153 )    3:29 pm, 27 Apr

 420.         When I was on 3 weekly

          chemo I had a blood test couple of days before chemo. Now they have switched me to this 2 on 2 off, I have a blood test before the first one and thats it. They were quite low last time before I had chemo and they debated if they would give me it, but me wanting to get finished said I was game to get on with it. But there was no test between doses, so if the 1st dose knocked them right down, I had no test before the 2nd one a week later. As I said this is quite normal as I am 14 days out from last dose of chemo and this is the period they were expected to crash. Big issue will be what the blood test next Tuesday is, as I am due for chemo again next Thursday. Dr in Dunedin who made the decision to let me stay out of hospital on Monday night seemed to think they will bounce back fine. Time will tell.... you know me, I just can't wait to get this over with cause I have that wedding on Jun 17th and I am NOT going to miss out on any of the fun leading up to it. I am out to get him.... especially if his brot

landylass (47 )    3:32 pm, 27 Apr

 421.         cont.

          brothers get him in stocks down the main street!

landylass (47 )    3:32 pm, 27 Apr

 422.         Good Luck

          I wish you well for tomorrow .I don't know you but I will be thinking of you any way . All the best BB xx

opportunity (2352 )    3:35 pm, 27 Apr

 423.         Just been on the phone

          with the hospital and have had my appointment for tomorrow changed. They are going to do two treatments tomorrow to keep me on schedule. One in the morning and one late afternoon. At least I get two days off afterward.

nztrader2004 (477 )    4:41 pm, 27 Apr

 424.         Wish they'd do that with me NZtrader!

          With me they just bumped my appointment back 1.5 hours!

soniat-d (153 )    5:18 pm, 27 Apr

 425.         great stuff sonia, thats great news

          what a pain with the 1.5hr appointment being bumped, its hard enough with kiddies to juggle as well. keep up the fantastic work.

starflower (82 )    5:24 pm, 27 Apr

 426.         Thanks Starflower

          Yes that's the pain, they just don't seem to get that I have a preschooler whose creche finishes by midday. #sigh# Thank goodness I have my MIL here still - she's saving the day for me tomorrow and Monday!

soniat-d (153 )    5:41 pm, 27 Apr

 427.         good luck to all of you going thru this stress!

          Sonia, Brent did a great job with the desk! A much better design than having two separate desks back to back. My husband is a joiner and do you think I can get him to make me a desk? Not on your life! It took seven years before I got my awesome jarrah entertainment unit. He's too busy making flash kitchens for everyone to bother making me furniture. I threaten to go buy some instead but he knows I won't because the stuff in the shops isn't as god as he makes - grrr! Maybe I should buy some $1 reserve rubbish on here, just to horrify him into action!! LOL!

tishie (60 )    5:51 pm, 27 Apr

 428.      Ahhh you're thinking like me Tishie LOL

          I kind of coerced him into getting onto this LOL! The big difference is, he's a computer geek by day, so this is like a hobby rather than a job ;o) His grandad was a cabinetmaker so got taught lots by him - though I think even his g'dad would be impressed with this effort! When Brent first brought the narrow planks of recycled wood home I had serious doubts, thinking it would be like a deck or have all these bumps in it etc. Never imagined this! Think Brent was impressed by it in the end too ;o) Took him 5 weekends!

soniat-d (153 )    6:15 pm, 27 Apr

 429.      hi sonia

          i AM planning on ringing you!! been a bit busy this week! remember i can always help out with childcare if you need it (ie monday).

unco12 (457 )    6:16 pm, 27 Apr

 430.         Cool unco ;o)

          Look forward to talking to you sometime soon ;o)

soniat-d (153 )    6:29 pm, 27 Apr

 431.         Hi Sonia

          Just stopping by your thread to see how your doing. Your desk looks awesome, your husband certainly is very handy. My partner is also a Mr make it/fix it and like the other ladies have already said, its difficult to get him to do a few of my 'projects' as he always seems to have his own long list of things to do. (although he has just made me a great magnetic learning centre for my classroom, so he probably has enough brownie points to keep me off his case for a while). Well, take care deary, take care and I will be thinking of you as you go through with your treatment over the coming week.

new2_u (45 )    7:27 pm, 27 Apr

432.         Don't have time to read the whole thread

          But totally agree with your title and wish you all the best for your next lot of treatment.

r.drummond (1435 )    7:32 pm, 27 Apr

 433.         Hi Sonia.......I'm back and look whats.........

          happened while I have been away holidaying!! I haven't read all of this thread, but I have got the gist of what has happened for you. I am so sad for you, but you are such a positive lady and have been such an inspiration for me in the last 6 weeks or so. I can only wish for you the very best and know that things will turn out good in the end. More treatment is such a pain when the end of it was well in your sights. I have said to so many people, 'life doesnt always dish up what you want' I am due to go for pre admission on monday, dye in thursday and surgery Friday 7.30am. I will keep checking in and look for the other thread.

joystik (281 )    9:41 pm, 27 Apr

 434.         erynne good luck to you

          love to all you other girls. I am lost for words really you are all so damn brave.

boop2 (106 )    10:04 pm, 27 Apr

 435.      ...............

          Bumping for Soniad

sands7 (6 )    11:22 pm, 27 Apr

 436.         wow! i was just having a look at that desk!

          gorgeous! how did you get him to do it? come on, share your trick...i can't get hubby away from computer games long enough to mow the lawn. LOL my doctor has recommended a mammogram for me. i need to call my insurance company tomorrow and make sure they'll foot the bill as apparently i'm too young to get funding for it otherwise. my grandmother had breast cancer but it has to be my mother or sister who had it to get it funded *shrugs* thank goodness for hubby's insurance :) doc. says he doesn't think it's infection..could be hormonal..and he gave me the name of something fibro? something or other i still can't pronounce after asking him to repeat himself 6 times. lol i'm sure all will be fine but i'm sticking on the side of caution. you all have a good night. i'm gonna go drool over that desk some more.

erynne (331 )    11:26 pm, 27 Apr

 437.      Hi guys ;o)

          Brent's chuffed you like his desk so much :o) LOL My trick Erynne? I play on his pet hate (messy desk LOL) Moved my old desk to where its first thing you see as you enter the room and then let it go wild LOL! But also he loves doing this stuff, and it seems to be good therapy for him as we go through this nightmare - he's the happiest he's been in ages right now ;o). Hey with the insurance, if your doc has referred you I believe the insurer would pay, they did with me anyway (Southern Cross). They seem happy with any such costs so long as referred by your doc. I always play it safe and put initial doc visit claim in right before that on the same form and indicate in description so its clear that visit was the breast check that led to next claim. Hope that makes sense?

soniat-d (153 )    12:18 am, 28 Apr

 438.         Tonight was our American TV night

          Greys Anatomy and Apprentice Season 5 :o) Hence not on here. Off to hit the hay soon! My arms bothering me at the mo bigtime. Can't decide whether its the lumps in armpit pressing on something or whether it is ongoing stuff from the original operation (which is what I thought the lumps in me were until could feel a lump for sure #sigh#). Oncologist's nurse called me today to say sorry to hear etc. She was all concerned and friendly etc till I mentioned my frustration that noone (ie Oncologist or Dr Benjamin) listened to my concern about what I felt there earlier, and how different things would be if they had. She ended the conversation pretty quickly after that! Wonder if I can sue them?! Nah, can't be bothered. Was thinking today though that if they'd ultrasounded back when I first complained we'd have cancelled at least the last chemo treatment saving us $6200 at least, plus then lumps would be out by now... whole different story really. Grrr :o/ !!! Oh well, onwards and upwards...

soniat-d (153 )    12:29 am, 28 Apr

 439.      Morning Sonia,

          wishing you a beautiful day. I have been following your journey and was heartbroken about your setback but am blown away by your attitude and strength! You are a fantastic, strong and beautiful woman who I wish only the best. Wishing you strength for the fight & love and best wishes to you and your family for a bright and happy future.

cole2 (360 )    8:30 am, 28 Apr

 440.         Thanks cole2 :o)

          You've made my day already! Going fine so far thanks - off soon for next blast. Cheers ;o)

soniat-d (153 )    10:34 am, 28 Apr

 441.         Hi sonia

          love and hugs for the day.

boop2 (106 )    10:36 am, 28 Apr

 442.         Hi sonia.....

          Hugs all day for go girl and beat this thing, just like I will be, starting next friday. Stay strong....

joystik (281 )    11:20 am, 28 Apr

 443.         Hi Sonia & soniettes...

          (well, they call the women who follow the dick41 threads dickettes, so I reckon the rest of us should be soniettes!) LOL!!! No, I'm not drunk, just daft! Y'know what Sonia...keep showing Brent our comments on how good his handiwork is - the next thing you know you'll be tripping up over new furniture he's made! It's a good way for him to be busy but still nearby so if you need him it's no biggie for him to down tools. Plus it's a win/win, you get projects done but you don't get sick of each other! I've got a bee in my bonnet about rearranging Miss 6's bedroom but I'm having a wee break. Hauling furniture around her room isn't really what I should be doing at 34 weeks preggy!! Still when I get all fired up I just HAVE to do it. Plus it's stopping me from shopping for more accessories for her room. I love decorating! Have a look at I got my girls the bedside cabinets, 3 drawer dresser and a bookcase (but that's a deleted line now) but I'm kicking myself for no

tishie (60 )    1:18 pm, 28 Apr

 444.         cont'd....

          but I'm kicking myself for not getting lots more, it's such cool furniture! You can't get it in NZ now though :o( Gawd, I ramble on & on!!!!!! Hope you're feeling well and looking forward to a relaxing, fun weekend with your beautiful family :o)

tishie (60 )    1:19 pm, 28 Apr

 445.      Thanks boop2!

          Sending hugs your way too Joystick - have been thinking of you too. I can so much better relate to your situation now - waiting.... knowing lumps still in there. Bug hugs to you too. You're doing so well ;o) Must go find the other thread later when I have a mo :o)

soniat-d (153 )    2:22 pm, 28 Apr