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501. So yes...a broken heart and some trauma followed
Family and friends perceived I would be on cloud nine and I rarely heard from them...the ex-boyfriend just visited tonight for the first time in 8 months and I thought for some reason he might have something in his eyes which suggested he felt bad for his decisions at that time...it appears he doesnt, I wanted to see him weak, like i was, I wanted to see him cry, but he just made excuses...I have found the whole process the lonliest time in my life and although the anguish comes and goes,there is always that lingering concern I will face it all again...it is always difficult to perceive the amount of inner strength we have...we are all different, its a mental game...I cant read anything about anyone with Cancer or anything debilatating and view it as I had prior surgery...I know oneday it may be me again and I wish I was as strong as you, I wish had not been such a sook...It took me months to get a grip on reality...Still now I find it difficult to forgive the people who i feel walked away at that time or did
502. did not meet expectations...
you have this perception and expectation of how friends and family will respond...then you carry around the anguish of feeling let down, for ever it seems...my ex for example...he nursed me, cared for me immediately after surgery and then abandoned me...haha...he wanted to see my scars tongiht, but i did not feel inclined to become his circus monkey, he didnt want to see them 8 months ago, whats different now? Thanks Sonia, was nice to have a rant, especially since he has just left and was tempted to cry...haha, pleased I didnt...hope your sleeping soundly, I might have another hot drink, then off to bed...thinking of you:] sweet dreams.
503. I'm back...haha
Was about to have a wee cry and decided to pop back in for a few moments...cant be bothered with puffy morning eyes! I told my ex a wee story about a cup. A cup which was left broken, dropped by his clumsy butter fingers...but was slowly trying to mend itself and was feeling pretty good a few months ago, until stupid head butter fingers thought he might write and tell me he was feeling a little broken...in which i replied, of course i will help you but you have to promise me you wont break me again, i am only recently glued back together...he agreed as he felt alone and although i owed me nothing after dropping me and smashing me to pieces, i hoped through me helping him that he would realise how imprtant i was...but he lied and pursued the one thing he had promised me he would not do...Smashed little cup, more pieces, harder to glue and left wondering...Who are you??? Who does that? I wish people realised somedays it is especially important not to rodger the broken people...they have enough on their plat
504. Hi Sonia
Just popped in to say still with you, in thought and prayer. I'm in absolute awe of your strength. You go, girl! We continue to lift you up to the love of our Lord, and ask Him to bless you as you go through each day. Keep positive, my dear. God Bless.
deekayem (314 
) 1:09
am, 1 May
505. Thanks Everyone
for the info on Benji. Its good to be prepared, I think Mums appointment with him is on Wednesday so I have just offered (via email) to go with her (as well as Dad) for support, 3 heads to absorb what he says might be better than 2. The thing is at this stage of the game we don't really know what questions to ask (its less than a month from diagnosis) but man are we learning about the BC Game quickly! Thanks for your help and good luck with your appointment today Sonia, Mum has one with Shaz today, its a small world really everyone running around to appointments, in fact its good in a way to realise that - as its very easy to think its just your family that is in turmoil. Have great day everyone
toadfish (860 
) 5:53
am, 1 May
506. soniat-d ... I'm still keeping up w/this thread!
That desk your hubby made - very impressive!!! So is your website ... wow ... you have been one busy family these past few years! Reading your story and hearing about the strikes put a little bee in my bonnet. I thought - 'oh, I can be a radiation therapist!' - so I looked into it ... *sigh* ... well, maybe not. But - it certainly does seem as though LOTS of people do want this training - there just aren't enough spots available each year to accommodate the applicants. (My research showed only 1 school does the training - and it's a full-time 3 year course in Wellington w/only 38 slots per year ... but over 150 applicants per year! Also, only 6 hospitals in the country provide jobs for radiation therapists ... and my local hospital is not one of them.) Anyway - it's great to see there are lots of people who want to get into this field ... now if only the government could make it more widely available ... ??? Sending good vibes and best wishes to everyone dealing w/this 'monster' ...
507. fi77 so sad .
I felt so sad reading your story, come in here for comfort and support everyone is kind and caring.Hi sonia of course you can spoil those girls and yourself I might add. Popped in to give you a hug and good luck for today. Always face the sunshine and the shadows will fall behind you.
508. oh not soo bad...honestly...
Thanks boop2...it was just a rough night to be honest...I had not seen him in sooo long and the circmstances for which he left resurfaced some painful memories...I have a packet of Tim Tams and the day off, so today will be a good day...its definitey all a head game you dont always feel strong enough to play...Anyway I do hope all other battlers had a better night than me and today is another day!! haha...Sonia, I hope you are having a good day, It is great following your story and your recovery, is very therapuedic...:]
509. Hope radiation went
well this morning Sonia and that arm is better. fi77 you have that inner strength. You have dealt with your ex leaving at a time when you really needed someone and sound like a much stronger person now. Thats the one thing that keeps me going. My rock to lean on! Poor hubby bears the brunt somedays. 12-15 hour day and then comes home and has to cook/clean up mess etc. This monster just doesn't effect the victim. It has a ripple effect for those around us. My hubby has just had his 5-6th melanoma out and its scary.
landylass (47 
) 1:37
pm, 1 May
510. fi77, I feel for you!!! My ex was a heartless
scuzzball too and let me down VERY nadly (but I won't go into all that, it's too depressing, plus it'll hijack Sonia's supportive thread! LOL!!) I will tell you though that some good did come out of it. I wrote a list of the qualities I expected from my next partner and I told myself I would not bother with anyone who didn't meet every criteria. Well, whaddya know, I met my husband and he was everything on the list and more! Try it, if it worked for me maybe it will for you. I got the idea from a friend who was dating a guy I called Prince Charming (they're now married). I told her I wanted to know how she scored such a fab guy and that's what she told me she did. All the best :o)
511. so, how'd it all go today sonia?
I've been thinking of you while hauling more furniture around! I have a thing about rearranging bedrooms (it's cheaper than totally redecorating but I get the same buzz from it). I'm still cooking the bun in the oven....this time next week I'll know what date my Caesarean is going to be. After I had #1 as an emergency Caesar they discovered my pelvis is smaller than normal so now I get booked in for C sections. I've got two girls Camryn, 6 and Aria 23 months. This baby is a boy if the scans are all correct. We still don't have any names we agree on so if any of you need a distraction feel free to throw ideas at me.
512. oh, and on the topic of names:
I like unusual ones BUT not any that are so unusal they make people assume you're trailer trash!!! That's why it's so hard to pick names. There's a fine line between uncommon and trailer trash often! None of these made-up sounding names or anything that sounds like a Jerry Springer guest!! LOL! I don't want the latest trendy name because I don't want my kids to be one of five in their class with the same name. No 'B' names as the middle name will most likely be John after a good friend who died a few years ago. No 'N' names because our surname starts with N and I'm not into alliteration. So, there's the rules....now get your thinking caps on please coz my head hurts from trying to find a name!
513. 
Oooh Tishie you can take our boys name
Mason :o) We just loved that name, but never had a boy to use it on! Hey I agree with the furniture buzz - our house feels so different and we haven't spent a cent LOL!
soniat-d (153 
) 2:52
pm, 1 May
514. 
OMG! Just saw all the posts for today!
I've been out all day till now! Hello all! Gosh so much to say about whats been said above but MUST go collect Lydia from School, so will have to return later.... Radiation went well thanks - didn't really need Brent there as it turned out, I was fine and they shoooed him out of the room before Dr Benjamin arrived so I had to deal with him on my own anyway! One more highly unexciting tatoo graces my body LOL, hopefully the changed regime will come in tomorrow, but being public system I'm not holding my breath!
soniat-d (153 ) 2:56
pm, 1 May
515. Tishie...fantastic advice...will prepare critera..
immediately...some names for you...quinn, fin, jake, jackson, wilson, archie...I like names that would look cute on little old men sitting in rocking chairs...hmmm, haha...oh well, might trigger some thoughts. Thanks ladylass for your kind words and sorry Sonia for stealing your thread breifly, I forgot it was not just you i was ranting to, but it was nice to let off some steam...you were asleep anyway...haha!!what does radiation involve?Is it like getting at xray?
516. and landylass...
your husband...shit, 5th and 6th...does he catch them early? IE, before vertical growth phase? Bloody hell...wow, that sucks...
517. Mason, that's a cool name!
My in-laws have neighbours who named their son that - he's the same age as Aria. Aside from him I don't know any others. fi77, you won't believe this but Quinn & Finn are on my list and Jake is our cat!! (so Jake's out, obviously!! LOL!) Hubby says no to Quinn because he knows a guy who's surname is Quinn (so they call him Quinny) and he was a bit of a rogue. Hubby also says no to Finn coz that's my brother's name. I like it though coz I'm half Irish and I'd like to use an Irish name. Here's my rough list in no particular order: Keiran, Jared, Kegan, Finn, Quinn, Ezra, Kian, Rory, Malachai, Reilly, Tate, Kyan, Hudson, Xavier, Regan. Trouble is I'm at the point I write a name down and next time I look at the list I think "WTF was I thinking???" Hahhaaa
518. I'm pleased to hear radiation went OK.
Poor Brent getting shooed away though. Can't he say "No, I'm staying!" I reckon I'd want my hubby there so he could remember everything the doctor said. I know if I was dealing with cancer I'd probably forget the whole conversation I had with the doctor as soon as I left the hospital! I htought of studying radiation too when I heard about the huge shortages. Someone like me would be ideal - I have kids and my husband has his own business so it's not like I'd be off overseas as soon as I qualified. The pathetic thing is at the grand old age of 31 with (almost) 3 kids I feel like I'm "past it" as far as taking up new studies goes!!
519. I found the list...
I thought my hubby had hidden it seeing as he doesn't really care for any of the names on it!! LOL! As well as the names mentioned above I have: Elijah, Ryan, Aiden, Micah, Troy, McKay, Jarrah, Ellery, Jed, Xander. Middle name will most likely be John but if not then it might be Liam, Lucas or James. Some of the names on that list are less favoured than others but I won't say which so I get honest opinions.
520. fi77 yep so far
all been caught early. He could have waited 5 months to have this removed in the system but from previous long scary wait he opted to let GP do this. I am just waiting for the day his luck runs out. Interesting that radiation dr I saw on Friday suggested to him that it could be genetic with the number he has had.
landylass (47 ) 5:28
pm, 1 May
521. landylass, your Oamaru...hmmm...I had my
initial exicision in Oamaru as I thats where my family GP is, I am an Oamaru child, all grown up, haha...I dont want to name names, but my GP wanted to wait till I was up at Xmas, 6 months away...lol...it was grade 4 in June, what would it of been at bloody Xmas?? Hmmm, not sure I trust doctors opinions so much now...they are like anyone in any job and if their tired or having a bad day, they like to postpone anything that means they have to get off their arse, I am pleased I insisted, but at tha point I had had an apiffany and deep down I knew it was malignant...But yes it is a shit of a cancer, just the aggressivness of it and its mastastic tendancy...Now just curious...about Xmas time I felt a wee pea sized hard lump in behind my boob...but I could never find it again, so thought I was delusional...think you worry you are becoming paranoid somedays and end up dismissing stuff after a scare...you would think I'd be the opposite!!
522. Soniat just read all of this thread.Hugs to you.
Your daughters are beautiful.We have 5 G/daughter and 1 G/son who is Mason.All the best to you and your family.
jubellsrose (207 ) 6:55
pm, 1 May
523. 
Thanks Jubellsrose :o)
LOL what are the chances that your 1 g/son is called Mason LOL Thanks very much for your kind wishes, it has been a lovely full-on day - never a chance to get here - guess thats the way it should be ;o)
soniat-d (153 ) 7:44
pm, 1 May
524. Hi Fi77
Thanks for sharing your story - your ex sounds like a right #@*%! OK you hadn't been going out that long, but still, there are ways to deal with things!?! My brother has only been going out with his girlfriend for a couple of months when her dearest only brother drowned, causing immense family distress ending in her father leaving her mother. It went on and on and my brother was stunned, but hung in there till the sun started to shine again. They just got married in January - very cool :o) Anyway, what I'm trying to say (but digressing madly on LOL) is that you were and are right to be upset by that. Vent all you like. The friends thing - yep, snap, here too (helloooo - anybody there? LOL). My dh's attitude to life is "Don't worry about what you can't change" and I've slowly learned to think that way over the years, I'm getting better with time! Once you've managed to crawl your way out of one deep grimy pit, its easier
soniat-d (153 ) 7:58
pm, 1 May
525.
Cont'd...
...its easier to believe you can do it when you fall into the next one. I have my moments, believe me (like every time my daughters tell me how much they love me and want to stay with me forever - it makes me feel guilty of maybe letting them down in the future. Makes me want to Fight! Fight! Fight!). Anyway, big hugs to you, (More to say but "ding!" its bathtime, back later ;o)
soniat-d (153 ) 7:58
pm, 1 May
526. 
hay sonia
dont know if you have been in the other thread but i posted about being phoned at 3.40pm today by north shore hospital to go in for another mamagram tomorow morning!! something about they need another view of it, i had two when i went the other week plus the scan, shoot that makes me sooo nervous as i thought it was all good and now this
527. Hi pomegal......
hopefully they will just want to follow something up that they have seen on the mammogram that you had done. I only wish that they had done that with mine instead of me finding it 4months later, then being fobbed off by the GP, and now being faced with what I have now. I had my pre admission checks today and was told mine is 5.5 now!! After friday it will all be gone I hope. Its like some of the other ladies have said, not all the lumps we find are cancer, some of us just seem to have drawn the short straw. Will be thinking of you tomorrow morning and wish you heaps of good luck.
528. Hi sonia....hope you have had a good day.....
and got all that furniture moved about! I was so shattered after my big day mowing on saturday, and then yesterday got a bit of a second wind, and attacked my gardens here. I was so sore last night, I wondered how I would ever sleep, and I didnt much! I was quite stressed also and when I'm stressed I get this terrible pain sort of over my shoulder and up my neck. It was awful all night, but I noticed it disappeared once I was at the hospital. Pre admission all done now so lets hope friday is the day! Hope your radiotherapy is going well. The lady that did my bloods today had a mastectomy 3 years ago and she didnt have any radiotherapy or chemo. That would be pretty unusual wouldn't it?? Could only hope that could be me too, but the registrat said mine is 5.5 now so that is big aye???
529. pomegal, turn it round and think
it is better for you to get called back now that another year or two down the track when you have another mammogram. Good luck to you. Hi sonia wish I could really hug you as you make me feel so humble. God bless
530. After reading some posts on here.........
I am just so greatful for the suppport of my husband. He has been just so good to me and truely is a ROCK too. He took me to Nelson because I was so upset about my surgery being postponed, and has just been so supportive through this whole thing. Today he came with me for all my tests, and each time I had to take my clothing off, he folded it up all nice for me, all ready to put back on. I just love him to bits and dont know where I would be without him just now. We have been thru so much together in our 22 years of marriage, and I have always been able to do a lot of the heavier physical work, because he couldn't after he broke his back for the second time. When this came along for me I just felt like I had let the side down badly, but he has always re-assured me that I haven't and now we have to change our way of life to compensate for these changes. We still have so much to look forward to together, and most of all, we have each other, and that is special.
531.
Whew! Finally back - but not for long!
Have a mountain of ironing and washing to get through now!
soniat-d (153 ) 9:22
pm, 1 May
532. Hi Boop2
I loved your "Always face the sunshine and the shadows will fall behind you." quote - ah so true :o) Thanks for that!
soniat-d (153 ) 9:23
pm, 1 May
533. Hi Pomegal :o)
Ditto what boop said - its great they are being cautious and re-looking - wish my docs had done that! Doesn't mean it is anything yet, try not to worry too much (I know - yeah right!) If any doubt, demand a biopsy, just to be sure. Good luck! (I'm over at Auckland Hospital at 9.40am - what time is your appointment?)
soniat-d (153 ) 9:25
pm, 1 May
534. 
Hi Joystick :o) :o) :o)
Big huge cyber hugs to you (((((())))))! Yes 5.5 is pretty big but it all depends on what type it is, maybe its not as aggressive as the type I have. I have the "young ladies cancer" which is apparently a doozy - very aggressive - hence the situation I'm in now. Glad your dh is being such a honey - mine is too! Yep furniture all moved, just finishing the residual sort-out that results from these moves. Now we just need Brents cousin to do that big painting for our new bare wall. She just emailed me tonight (yay!) and says she can come late May and measure up and discuss what she'll do. She's an awesome artist :o) Can't wait!
soniat-d (153 ) 9:30
pm, 1 May
535. Well Actually...it was 2 and half years...truely
a betrayel, he was my best friend, I trusted him implicitly...had it of been two months I might of been able to put it all in perspective...I am young and mobile and strong 90% of the time...I have heaps to be grateful for, it just hurts when you realise the love has drained out of them and been replaced with merely 'lets keep intouch'...hahaha, its so empty, so 'light'...I wish I had of been a bit saner at diagnosis, and had of made better decisions, asked more questions about recovery and the emotional effects...Yes I could imagine having kids changes the whole thought process all over again, I cant imagine how any wee girl makes it through life without her mum, there essential!! Your essential!!
536. Have the best sleep Sonia
...thanks for your message, you have so many to chat you each night, it must feel overwhelming somedays to see all these people take such an interest in your life...I had never looked here before and was just being nosey to see if anyone had posted messages about the company I work for...and i am pleased I found your thread...more later:]
537. Hi Fi77
Oh sorry - silly me rushing through - so much to read! - OMG 2.5 years! Yep thats betrayal alright. Man I wish you'd talked to the cancer society at the time - they are so awesome - why don't you call them now? It's never too late.
soniat-d (153 ) 9:45
pm, 1 May
538. So I've been thinking...
Back to when I first found out I had my first lump and that it was cancer (with no fam history) it seemed so unreal, like this does now. I'd had a breast exam several months before. I was told all was well and I asked if I should mammogram to be sure and was talked out of it. A mamm would have found that lump then, for sure, much earlier than when I finally felt it. How much better would things be for me now if I'd shaved those precious months off discovering the cancer in the first place?
soniat-d (153 ) 9:46
pm, 1 May
539. Oh well
Can't cry over spilt milk now can we?!
soniat-d (153 ) 9:53
pm, 1 May
540.
Hi Dj74
Thanks so much - I'll tell Brent his desk has been admired again ;o) Yep we've been busy alright - I was too busy to check my boobs!!! Still doing it - when will I ever learn? Interesting what you say about the radiologists - every time I go in there's a new trainee being introduced to me - I wonder where they all go? Yep the government certainly need to look into more radiation machines around the country, they are already stretched and its only going to get worse!!! OK I MUST deal to that ironing now! Bye all, have I missed anyone? Will check later ;o)
soniat-d (153 ) 9:59
pm, 1 May
541. fi77 have you mentioned
that pea you thought you found in your boob, to any of the drs you have or are seeing? Maybe we had the same GP cause I changed after my diagnosis. I wanted one that was going to do battle for me not tell me I can't hurry the hospital system when I complained how long it was taking my hubby to get a melanoma removed! If you don't mind me asking where did your melanoma start?
landylass (47 ) 10:10
pm, 1 May
542. I wish, I wish there was just some
small thing I could do to help one of you ladies. I hope just being here talking is helping. Night
543. Hey Fi77
I'm with Landylass - I forgot about that pea lump you mentioned (wierd for me to miss that!)Please get it mammogrammed, just to be sure. I know after what you went through before you may want to ignore it for now, may have just been a hormonal lump, but if it was hard... best see if its still in there somewhere. Oh and the radiation question, yes its like an xray at the time, only it makes a buzzing sound when running which is quite unnerving when you're under it! Later though, the area being irradiated gets angry, mine is starting to now - time for some more aqueous cream me thinks...
soniat-d (153 ) 10:17
pm, 1 May
544. here is a good survivor story...
hubbys neice had hodgkinson non lymphoma I think it was called when she was about 16 or 17 - still at school. Went thru the works at the time, surgery, chemo & radiation. She gave birth to a healthy wee boy today. Little monkey was breech so was a caesar but she has a healthy baby to show for it. So there is hope after treatment. This baby makes us feel old as its about great neice/nephew no 18 for us! This neice was born on hubbys 21st birthday.
landylass (47 ) 10:18
pm, 1 May
545.
You are helping boop2 :o)
You say such lovely things to us :o) Thanks for that!
soniat-d (153 ) 10:18
pm, 1 May
546. Wow sonia
What a small world.Even though i dont know you i have been following your post to see how you have been going.Anyway i recently just clicked that my partner used to work for your father in law.What an awesome family you have.It's great that you have such a loving and supportive family.
547.
Hey Landylass thats so cool, and so funny...
'cos that cousin of Brents I mentioned in 534 (shes actually Brent's cousins wife) is the same story! She contracted the same thing when about 18, had the works (chemo, radiation then more chemo), was told she could never have kids - they have 3 (naturally!)! Her eldest 2 were our Pageboy and flowergirl at our wedding :o)
soniat-d (153 ) 10:22
pm, 1 May
548. is tomorrow the
first of your higher doses Sonia?
landylass (47 ) 10:25
pm, 1 May
549. hi guys
have been reading the thread and my hairs raised on my back when you said 'pea' landylass. i have a pea in one of my boobs. I have had it for about 6 years and have had it checked by 3 different doctors. Its seems to be in the skin though and they all reckon its OK. I can actually grab it and feel all the way around it. What do you guys think? I just had it checked again 2 months ago. I do trust my doctor. She has never let me down so far...
treenie3 (201 ) 10:26
pm, 1 May
550.
Hee hee Thatshoot!
Yep small world alright, big company though, I've met 2 others recently who also turned out to have worked for them! Hopefully your partner enjoyed working for them - most do ;o)
soniat-d (153 ) 10:28
pm, 1 May
551. I hope so Landylass ;o)
But knowing the Public system, they'll find some excuse to not be set up. They have to cut the mould, so don't know how long that takes. Trying not to go in with too high expectations!
soniat-d (153 ) 10:31
pm, 1 May
552. so could you be having
it private if you wanted to? That was the reason I opted public all the way as it appeared I had to do radiation public and the time frame was ok so I opted to stay public. Feel guilty sometimes when I hear of people on waiting lists as I had a choice and I sometimes think I probably knocked someone further down the list!
landylass (47 ) 10:33
pm, 1 May
553.
Sonia
have been thinking of you and I KNOW you will beat it! Your positive mind will knock those hideous lumps for a six! Take care XXX
treenie3 (201 ) 10:34
pm, 1 May
554. Hi Treeenie ;o)
To be honest it does sound OK - it sounds like what I have on my spine - I panicked and thought it was cancer spreading, but 3 different docs have said same thing as yours "Ah, no its just a ........ (can't remember the name they use)". If it has grown at all, then be more concerned. But I'd get it mammogrammed or at least ultrasounded if you can, and maybe biopsied. I trusted my docs till recently too - now I tell them they stuffed up so now they're listening to me ;o)
soniat-d (153 ) 10:36
pm, 1 May
555. Ah landylass, if there was a private option
for radiation, believe me, I'd take it! I've been told there is only public. Hope I've been told correctly!?!
soniat-d (153 ) 10:37
pm, 1 May
556. I have got to get off here...
got to be at the hospital for blood tests tomorrow at 8.15am! Not holding my breath on getting my chemo this week. I just don't want them to delay to next week or I have my last dose 2 days before that wedding!
landylass (47 ) 10:40
pm, 1 May
557. Thanks for that
Sonia. It hasn't grown at all so i guess that it must be OK. i might ask for some further tests next time at the doc, just to be sure, after all it is our lifes they are dealing with. My friend who was diagnosed with BC last year got very 'toey' with her doctors as well. I told her that she had every right to, as it is her life. She was tired of waiting for people to get back to her, tired of waiting for treatment and tired of getting differing information. In the end she bipassed Waikato Hosp altogether and made out she was living in Auckland with her MIL just so she could get the treatment as nothing was happening very fast here. So far she is doing well, her hair is all back and she is starting to pick up the pieces of her life again...Take care Sonia and Landylass, will be thinking of you both this week.
treenie3 (201 ) 10:47
pm, 1 May
558. Ok Sonia, well thanks for that...i am sure
my friend has already asked questions shes fairly careful with her health, but like you say, it depends on the doctor...bloody health professionals! Anyway, will have a wee feel myself up sess tonight, haha...see if i can find it again, and discuss mammogram at my next clinical...ouch, does it hurt...ouch ouch ouch...and landylass...my melanoma was directly above the boob i found the lump in...oh dear...BUT, tis just a disaster of a scar that remains now...it had a small bump on one side which my ex noticed, I was stupid really, thought being olive skinned excluded me and thought it would be gone as soon as mole was excised...but it growth ended in my blood vessels of my reticular dermis, giving it options for travelling via blood...stupid stupid girl
559. But...
Yes there are few medical centre in oamaru...dont get me wrong i love my doctor and my mother actually works for him, so is difficult to be angry at him...but I did push the issue, I had seen a doco on melanoma on 13 june 2005 and call it spiritual, call it coincidence, i had a voice in my head, sweaty palms and no blood in my face, haha...i went white and I knew before they even spoke what they were discussing...it was very surreal...I just hope whatever made me turn the tv on at that time on a Monday morning, is still watching my back!... thanks Sonia, thanks landylass, thanks everyone...truely such a nice, safe place to communicate concerns...it has been so long since i felt safe talking to people and not feeling like they are summing up my mental state..haha...night guys...xx:]
560. sonia
my appointment isnt until 11.30 but i am sure i will be there early, i am sure they will get me in as i have to take my two little girls with me so the noise may make them rush me through, am going for a shower now
561. Good Morning everyone........
Hope you are all feeling on top of the world today. I'm not. Its a dull rainy day here, so not going to do much. Just get caught right up with the house work so its all good when I get home again. Coming in to this message board and reading all this inspirational stuff makes me feel a whole lot better though. We all have very similar stories to tell about the mis-management of the health system, don't we?? Great to see new faces posting as well....hello to you all. Good luch pomegal for this morning...will be thinking of you too. Talk again later.
562. Thinking of you all
today guys. Bit gloomy here in Rotorua, and too warm to light the fire! Catch you later!
treenie3 (201 ) 9:27
am, 2 May
563.
Morning to all!
Back to the top, can't have you lingering on page 3! Have a fabulous day Sonia and remember to take some time out for yourself :), Cheers Claire
564. morning all
Just to say hi and hoping every thing goes well for you today.xx
565. Hi Guys ;o)
Having a not-so-good day here. Firstly Emily lost it big time when I handed her over to Brent so I could get to my early radiation appointment - and my bookings are like that all this week! Tried to book later but no go, so frustrating, they just don't get how hard it is with wee kids - they need to be sttled and happy, well, at least my Emily does. Then, when trying to sort out better appointments for next week, realised the new treatment isn't starting till AFTER this current treatment is completed (mid next week). I just started crying then - so frustrated with Dr Benjamin, he's not discussing these important things with me and I have no choice to go along with his slack-arse plans which I can tell he thinks won't work anyway. Grrrr.... sorry had to vent :o/ Glad now I have the counselling session on Thursday!
soniat-d (153 ) 12:29
pm, 2 May
566.
Hi Pomegal I was thinking of you this morning
Was tempted to pop into NSH and find you and give you a hug actually, as I was driving right past around then, but decided you might feel like I was a stalker LOL. How did it go? RUOK?
soniat-d (153 ) 12:31
pm, 2 May
567.
Hi fi77
Ahhh, the beauty of hindsight eh?! No, you weren't stupid (or, if you were, so was I!). Noone expects this nightmare to happen to them - its perfectly natural ;o) ... How are you today?
soniat-d (153 ) 12:34
pm, 2 May
568.
Hi Joystick
How are you today - 3 sleeps to go! 3 sleeps to go! (Am I right?!) Stay strong, I'm thinking of you and sending my best cyber hugs your way :o)
soniat-d (153 ) 12:36
pm, 2 May
569. Thanks for the bumps ladies
Must get Emily down for her nap now - more excuses for some cuddles :o)
soniat-d (153 ) 12:37
pm, 2 May
570. Sonia Sweetheart
the guns are still firing over here in Whakatane for you, they're blasting away stronger and louder than ever! Thinking of you always tho' dont know you, all the very best.
solarouge (46 ) 12:38
pm, 2 May
571. I'm stalking sonia too solarouge!!
Sonia - sorry to hear you had a crap start to the day :o( Kids are soooo good at making you feel like shite just by crying. Try to remember she's just acting up, she won't even remember doing it. I bet she didn't take too long to calm down once you were out of sight. I guess it's coz kids don't have the language skills to be able to articulate how they're feeling. Man, I sooo wish I lived near enough to help out with babysitting or driving you to appointments etc. Your girls could come over here and fight with mine over toys!! :o) It'd be great!
572.
Thanks Solarouge! Thats awesome :o)
And to you too tishie - yeah I know they can act up, the girls are getting more sensitive with all thats going on here, I've told Lydia whats happened but not Emily (she's a bit too young). They've worked it out on their own as visitors come, the girls hear all that's said and see me getting upset. Its not all an act (the look in her eyes is almost pure terror when she can tell I'm about to leave), they've been through a lot, but yes, I know they can play to me, I'm putty in their hands at the moment! Yeah, wish you were closer too Tishie! Would be cool :o)
soniat-d (153 ) 1:10
pm, 2 May
573. Sonia..your specialist sounds about as empathetic
and communicative as mine...they just end up making you feel silly for even asking the questions...I can remember the frustration and leaving thinking, aarrgghhh...they forget sometimes you also need to repeat questions or ask for further clarification or just might like to hear something coming out of their mouths while they are feeling you up...hahaha...I am actually a thousand times better today, back at work and 'stupid head' is heading up to welly for a new job...so although realising he has no particularly special feeling remaining for me is strange...it is kind of satisfying to be able to put a label on him..."nasty mean selfish loser"...Couldnt find my bump again, but I will be asking a few more questions at my next clinical...I just feel the clinicals are a waste of time??? My specialist makes me feel like a flippin farm animal, haha...strange the types that end up in this intimate, delicate profession...it requires a certain kind of person and yet anyone who's think their an intellectual can jump o
574. on the band wagon!!! ...
Its wrong...so wrong and all about people beleiving they are academic and selecting a profession that will pay the most...they should have to also pass a few papers on bedside manner and identifying with their patients...perhaps they should work a day on Shortland Street and learn to act...if for some reason they cannot pull of some sincere words in real life being who they are...aaarrgghh...i better go back to work...I hope your feeling better Sonia...chat later, Have a happy day everyone...xx:]
575.
Hi fi77
I've just popped back, been doing some painting, always good therapy! Yep feeling calmer now, time to call my Breast Clinic nurse now (she left a message) see whats what and maybe discuss this blip with her. Back later ;o)
soniat-d (153 ) 1:36
pm, 2 May
576. hiya sonia....have been following your threads
but we to have been back in hospiatl so havent posted, what is your web addy please ive lost it.
577.
Hi bogeyi
Its in post #177 - we just realised its had over 300 visits in last few weeks - OMG!!!! Guess our private life is no longer LOL! Thinking must update it soon, may start on that in next few days...
soniat-d (153 ) 1:44
pm, 2 May
578. Ohhhh.....Sonia, not a great way.....
to start any day. The thing is these little people know a lot more abou whats going on than we think some times, dont they. And, like you say, they hear you talking and all that. I used to be a homebased caregiver for Barnardos, and it gaveme a great insight into the way children think, and how they interpret what they hear. Very fascinating. YES!! Only 3 more sleeps to go now. But, the nurse did upset me a bit yesterday when she said, ring on thursday afternoon just to make sure your surgery is going ahead. I said "No I'M Not going to" I'm just going to turn up and you'll have to do it, cos I wont leave til you have!!. But hopefully we wont need that drama. Glad wee Emily is feeling better too. You take care and take it easy for the rest of the day. Hugs to you too.
579. Hi joystick
I'd be interested to hear what you learned from your Barnados days! The Cancer Society told me I didn't have to tell them anything yet, but I had already talked to Lydia. Just a few days before this latest disaster I'd told her the treatment was almost over and everything was good and would soon return to normal. She gave me this huuuuge hugs and said "Thats so great Mama, you've been so brave". Such a sweetie :o) Anyway, felt I had to update her as the situation had changed. She took it very well and said she'd draw a picture for me to make me feel better :o) Last night she asked me what the "zapping machine looks like - does it look like a camera?" LOL
soniat-d (153 ) 2:06
pm, 2 May
580. Hi Sonia
you are one amazing person. I have been reading this thread since the day you started it and have finally picked up the courage to post in it. I have had a look at your website and all I could say was WOW the whole time i was looking at it - my hubby had to come and see what all the WOWs were about.
581. And to all the other posters
that are here and to dear Sonia my thoughts are certainly with you all. I personally dont have BC but my Mum is very ill. She has had medical problems on and off for years now (she is 64) and March last year she got diagnosed with an inoperable brain tumour. This is to add to her over-active illeostomy, her feeding tube and her portacath which she needs as she has to have extra IV fluids 3-4 times a week because of the illeostomy.
582. and then 2 weeks ago
they have found she is having heart problems. Especially the last year I have found out who my true friends are and believe me there is not many!! My Dad is still working full time so I do a lot for my Mum and now to top it all off my only brother flew out to Spain on Sunday to further his career, sorry had to just say all this to get it out.
583.
Hi Volksie - nice to hear from you :o)
Sorry to hear about your mum, she's lucky to have you caring for her as you are :o) I can relate to how you feel about your brother flying out - my parents are being just plain wierd now - they receive my generic email updates to friends and family, describing whats going on, and reply "We're having a great time in Vancouver, going here, there, weather like this etc Love from Mum and Dad" (No "How are you getting on?" Oh well, glad they're having a nice time?!?!). Glad you liked the website - what were the WOW's about?!? LOL ;o)
soniat-d (153 ) 2:27
pm, 2 May
584. Just got off the phone from my Breast Centre nurse
She said my specialist would call me with the biopsy results (eeek) not sure when though. Excellent!?! She said so far all results are stable and specialist is happy, I just have to put up with the delays and "hope things are working" :o/ !!!
soniat-d (153 ) 2:29
pm, 2 May
585. To Sonia
I havent written on this thread before but have been following your additions constantly. I just wanted to thank you, also let you know I am thinking of you so often. I am going to make a sign with that quote about the sunshine and shadows falling behind, it is so special. In Oct our son was diagnosed with Leukaemia and you by sharing your story have enlightened me because you have the ability to verbalise your feelings I am able to step into his world and yours for a brief moment and imagine how it is to feel so yucky some days.He like you has an amazing attitude and every day is a blessing.I wish you all the best with your ongoing treatment and will be thinking of you and your beautiful family. Take care
586. afternoon all...
had my bloods done this morning and all hooked up ready for chemo..... just let me have it please!!! Busy having a housework day today so haven't been in here. Got a call from Dunedin hospital this morning. Now need a ct scan so managed to juggle my next oncology appointment onto same day to save 2 trips in one week. Just as well as just realised my next trip to Dunedin was the day of daughters formal... so thats great, now I will be home to run her around. Aw Sonia, feel sorry for poor Emily. She just isn't old enough to understand but she knows mum keeps disappearing and is upset. You just keep on battling those medics Sonia! Don't let that Dr Benji get the better of you with his bedside manner. Joystik, thinking of you, and bumping for news of Pomegal.
landylass (47 ) 3:53
pm, 2 May
587. hiya peeps
have had my mamagram again today only to be told the doc wasnt there so i couldnt get any answers to my so many questions, i did ask the lady doing the mamagram why i was called back and she only could say because i needed more slides done so they could read them again, she was taken back when i said that last time i was there i had two mamagrams a ultrasound and saw the specialist! so now i dont know what happens (i wait i suppose!) the mamagram showed very tiny calcifications (i think thats what she said) but i am no the wiser now so until i hear from the doc, sorry i havent got to read everyones post but my daughter started kindy last week 5 mornings so dont get as much time as i would like to catch up on this and a few other threads, keep smiling ladies
588. Volksie...yes family can be the biggest surprise
Its amazing actually...my family were pretty tight before my treatment...3 sisters all now more than 18 months apart...I have barely spoken to them for 9 months...it is difficult to not feel resentful, even my dear mother just assumed I would be tickity boo and heard from here rarely...You will be flipping ropeable at your brother, your there making the sacrifices and hes absconding from responsibility and remembering who ensured he was sheltered feed and for all his youth...some people have little between there ears when it comes to realising whats important in this world...wouldnt it be great to flit about like that, oblivious and self-fufilling...Your mum will remember your unwavering support and your brother has to live with himself...silly boy...
589.
Hi Paula :o) Thanks for posting!
(I'm going to feel wierd when this thread tumbles down to oblivion LOL! so thanks for bumping and saying Hi) Thanks so much for everything you said, glad what I say helps :o) So sorry to hear about your son's battles, but the docs seem to really know what they're doing with leukemia (sp) don't they? Thats my perception anyway, that its horrible of course but most children win in the end? Hope so anyway. Have just come back in from an afternoon out with my girls - this is a happy home tonight (not that it isn't usually ;o). Off to cook the din dins now - bye for now :o)
soniat-d (153 ) 6:00
pm, 2 May
590. What do you paint Sonia?...
Whats your thing? I like coffee cups at present, painting them on canvas, sometime sunrises and sometimes seascapes...it can be quite awesome therapy in itself aye? Just so rewarding! Pleased your feeling better...actually spoke to cancer Society here in dunedin today, they are lovely, you are right, but I did actually do some stuff for them at the end of last year...a wee article in the paper for sunsmart week and a wee blib on TV3 news...I really just rung to find out what i should expect froma clinical and my specialist...I hate going and part of me hopes I can achieve the same stuff with my GP? not sure...I dont want to go to my next clinical as he's such a limp person to chat to and if I take friends he worse....go figure!
591.
Thanks
You are an inspiration. We still have a long way to go with treatment (all up 3 years and 3 months )and there is an 80% success rate. Cup is definately half full. Take care and thanks so much.
592. Good luck to your son too....
that is a long time for treatment but at least the outcome is positive.
landylass (47 ) 7:22
pm, 2 May
593.
Thanks landylass
You are all in my thoughts. I admire you all. Take Care
594.
Hi Paula :o)
Do you mind telling me a bit about your son? How old is he and how far the treatment is he (I know you said not far). Man thats a long time all up. How often are the treatments within that? Is it all chemo? I'm so ignorant of Leukaemia but am very interested (understand if you'd rather not say). Does he feel really unwell? What are the symptoms? With me, with the chemo, I found out that painting was the best for me when feeling my worst - the concentration needed and the general distraction really made me feel better. I remember watching one of those ghastly Extreme Home Makeover shows and it was a girl with Leukaemia and she made necklaces and sold them for charity while she was unwell. Amazing girl... Anyway, I just thought I'd mention the crafts as a means of distraction thing, its amazing how it helps. At first I thought watching movies was the thing, but that just made me feel worse! Anyway, big cyber hugs to your courageous son - those are great odds, glad to see you seeing this all as a cup half full :
soniat-d (153 ) 8:28
pm, 2 May
595.
Cont'd...
...cup half full :o) Best wishes to you and your family ;o)
soniat-d (153 ) 8:28
pm, 2 May
596.
Hi fi77
Well I'm not really a painter as such, I just like to make cute things for my girls rooms etc, paint tissue box covers, make mobiles, etc etc. Biggest ever was a dollhouse - put lots of detail into that. I get carried away LOL Anyway, latest completed project to give you an idea is Lydia's tissue box http://202.21.128.20/photoserver/34/21004334_full.jpg - as you see I just copy the wallpaper design. Looks OTT in this pic but in the overall room, its nice having a few things matching the wallpaper - its a huge room ;o) Anyway, thats all I do, nothing very Van Goghish LOL .... Current project was very simple painting large frame for corkboard for Lydia to pin her latest works of art on ;o) Back later
soniat-d (153 ) 8:37
pm, 2 May
597. Thats lovely sonia..........
you've made a beautiful job, and should be very proud of it. I am not the least bit arty i'm afraid. Probably more into the craft sort of stuff if anything. Used to do a bit of cross stitch and stuff but not done any for ages. Knitting feathers wool scarves last winter was the thing. I think my daughter has every colour there is!! Lauren is quite in to art, and is taking it as a subject at school this year. Actually she has just had an art test yesterday and got an Excellence, so she was pretty pleased with herself, and so were we. She must have inherited the art genes from her Dad.
598. Sorry to hear about your son Paula.........
but sending you lots of love and best wishes to help him in his recovery. Its a pretty scary time isn't it. This is a great place to come for inspiration though. Our lovely sonia and landylass, kelsal,maewest, and heaps of others are all going through this and are happy to share their experiences with us all. They have all just been such a tower of support to me over the past almost 2 months since i was diagnosed. I don't know what I would dowithout them all. Take care and keep on fighting. I will be thinking of you.
599. bump......
.......
joystik (281 ) 10:00
pm, 2 May
600. mother (41)died of cancer...
i remeber my first visit her in auckland hospital.i walked in room there were 5 other women of same age abouts as my mother. I immediately sensed these were 5 powerful women full of energy full of life strength, yet the monster they couldnt beat. My aroha and tears to all who watch the strength of their mother be eaten by this horrible 'thing'.
601. bump
.
landylass (47 ) 10:00
pm, 2 May
602. and another Hundred.....
well done ladies.......
joystik (281 ) 10:01
pm, 2 May
603. I will miss this thread ......
while I'm away from Friday. I do enjoy popping in for a chat and catching up with you all each day. Off to bed now - not much sleep last night, hopefully more tonight. See you all tomorrow. Sweet dreams........
joystik (281 ) 10:03
pm, 2 May
604. night guys...
Will have a look at your art Sonia...its all art, doesnt matter if its painting or sticking or whatever...have a super day tomorrow guys, sleep tight:]xx
605.
Awww Joystik re 598
Yep my sentiments exactly! This MB has helped me so much through all this, I can so relate to what you're saying :o) Its funny when I was in the Cancer Society that other day and they were talking about support groups the first thing she mentioned was chat rooms and I thought "doing that already!" LOL How are you feeling as the day approaches, one less sleep ;o) Hope you sleep well tonight...
soniat-d (153 ) 11:31
pm, 2 May
606. Love to Paula
I just pray for your wee son. Sonia you seem to do so much don't you get tired? I loved your art work the colours all seem to blend in lovely. Take care.Good luck to all you other ladies keep feeling positive I am sure it helps.
607. Morning Sonia and Ladies
Firstly thank you to all who have given me you love and warm wishes. Thanks. See how special you are when going through something like this you still want to give. Josh is 8, he is my little miracle. I was told I couldnt have children, was getting ready for the fertility drugs and April Fools day found out I was carrying my Josh. I couldnt believe it. I was so big so quickly and he was 9lb 14oz born. He was so cruisy and such a delight mums boy!!! He seemed to bruise easily but so did I so didnt really worry. Sept 05 he looked a bit pale and had picked up a bug at school, he was lethargic and couldnt explain some of the bruises. I said to my husband I think Josh has got Leukaemia he freaked. Took him to the dr. Who phoned that afternoon with worry in his voice - our lives changed.Next day Dr said can you come in immediately and they gave us the news. Off to Invercargil then Christchurch for a month. I was in shock, went home ph'd people packed sorted our wee girl (then nearly 5). It was like a ni
608. cont
It was like a nightmare. In Christchurch finally we found out he had 96% leukaemia in his body. Started treatment straight away they put a picc line in his arm, central catheter to administer drugs etc. Poor kid used to freak with needles, so many blood tests. We were told of the treament options, chemo, oral, iv, intrathecal (into the spine) steroids, you know how it goes. one of the drugs had a nasty reaction.he seemed to change a little, it was still so early and I was alone in Christchurch with my wee girl too, but knew something was wrong. Sleeping in the hosp with Josh, Cassielle in the fold out bed in his room and me in a lazy boy. I just couldnt leave him! He suffered a major brain hemmorhage, and had a stroke. So that was late Oct, we were naturally shocked (again). We got back home for Josh's birthday so that was my dream.My daughter started school and I still had Josh with me at home. He was going every week to hosp for chemo, bloods etc now he is on a maintenance programme so he has bloods t
609. Cont
He has blood taken every couple of weeks and oral chemo every night, steroids for 5 days every three weeks, i.v chemo and intrathecal chemo. Pain killers for aching joints and muscles etc anti nausea when he needs it. His brain injury appears to be coming right, we thought we had lost him there for a while, he naturally just wasnt the same little boy, the clot will just leave a hole eventually, but he has shown us that the human body is an amazing thing and he continues to fight. Thanks for asking, happy to share, just dont want to intrude in your special thread. Hope you are feeling ok today. Take care
610. (sobbing)
Paulaxx, that is the most heartwrenching story. Every parent's nightmare. Huge hugs go out to you, your son and your family. I do hope he comes through okay. Children are so strong aren't they? And I hope and pray that you have heaps of great support around you. Thankyou so much for sharing.
611.
Hi Paula
Great to hear from you again ;o) I'm reading your story with great interest, thanks so much for sharing it - isn't it a pain the way TM cut the messages off!? Anyway, oh my goodness, what a nightmare for you and your son. I just can't imagine going through all that you've been through, and continuing on such a long rocky road. More from me later... I have to go in a mo for my treatment - Emily has been great this morning, asked to go with Daddy to take Lydia to school so sitting here watching out the window making sure I go before they get back!
soniat-d (153 ) 9:15
am, 3 May
612. Oh Thanks so much
Just to see him get on the school bus with his sister is amazing. Thanks you lovely people and I do have some support. My family is divided around NZ, they have been there for us when they could. so we are finding out just how wonderful communities and CCF etc are. xx
613. Thanks Paula for sharing your story
of your sons illness, and journey back to good health with us. It is just so sad to see children struck down in this way when they have their whole live ahead of them. Your pain must had been just indescribable at times, well probably most of the time. I will think of you every day now and wish you all the best of health and happiness for your whole family as you travel this winding road together. Love to you all.....
614. Joystik
Your words just bought a huge lump to my throat. Thank you for caring. I have to confess to having had such a busy 7 or so months and now seeing Josh go back to school, finding a sense of normaility again. I miss him! I have had to let go and trust he will be ok, its hard!!!! So thanks for being there. You are so kind
615. soniat-d ..
could you do a little bidding plz - i have something I wish to send you. xxx
manukarose1 (135 ) 9:29
am, 3 May
616. Morning sonia and friends.....
glad your day started better this morning. There have to be some wins along the way dont there. Had a really good sleep last night, but found myself very anxious as son as I woke up, and have cried almost ever since. Only 2 more sleeps and that anxiousness will be over hopefully. I rang my daughters form teacher at the college and asked her to look out for Lauren for me. She is a very brave girl and is seemingly taking all this very well, but I fear there might be a time in the next few days when she will break down, and it will probably be at school. She was very kind and just loves Lauren, so she will look out for her for me. Good for peace of mind. Must get busy now seeing as it is sunny again. See you later. Take care..
617. paula
i hope your baby gets well and joystik i amt hinking of you for next week hugs, hugs to all as well as this thread is very emotional and i am lost for words once again, hugs hugs hugs
618. Morning Joystik
I posted on other thread looking for you this morning. Lauren will get thru this fine. Thats the only dam time I cried in my whole saga. Having to tell my kids. I never cried when I put miss16 on the plane to Germany but boy did I bawl my eyes out the night before surgery after I got off the phone to her . I kept thinking she was on the other side of the world if something happened to me. Kids are really resilient at that age & think everyone is indestructable!
landylass (47 ) 9:41
am, 3 May
619. Thanks for that landylass....
I'm sure thats true, and its much like what I told her form teacher. I said this is probably a big over reaction from me and you may not see any change in her, but I love her and care about her and want her to be safe and not hurting. She was very understanding. Lauren has been very brave and if I look like I am going to cry she gives me a hug and says, you will be fine mum, nothing bad will happen to you, cos I know!! I hope she is right!! She has always be one of those people with kind of spiritual stuff going on. She is definately an old spirit, that has been on earth before, and is very wise for her age. Some people wont be able to relate to that at all, but I believe its true. It can be quite uncanny, when we visit places, and although we have never been there, she has, and knows all about it. That can be the same with people too. Strange, but true. She was born on my mothers birthday, (7 years after mum died) and without ever hearing my Mother or seeing her she has done and said so many things ex
joystik (281 ) 10:30
am, 3 May
620. Excactly as Mum would have or did....
It can be quite un-nerving at times, tosay the least. On that note, I must go and iron. You enjoy your day.....
joystik (281 ) 10:31
am, 3 May
621. Gawd it seems all us
cancer suffers are ironing. My pile is humungous as its been so wet and I hate ironing stuff out of the drier! Sonia was ironing last night too. I'm away to make a big pot of soup. Chemo hopefully tomorrow and I live on soup when I don't feel like eating.
landylass (47 ) 11:00
am, 3 May
622.
I'm back I'm back
but sadly not for long... so much to say so little time...
soniat-d (153 ) 11:31
am, 3 May
623.
HI Paula ;o)
Golly I'm lost for words, I so feel for you and your family. As a mother I can't imagine anything worse than what you are going through, watching your son suffer and feeling so helpless. I find it upsetting seeing the toys and bright pictures in my treatment room for the poor kiddies going through radiation. I asked the operators about it once, how the kids cope, and they said "They do really well, they just soldier on because they don't know any different". While I can see that point of view, I think by the time they get to your son's age, they obviously realise other kids aren't goint through the same, and must feel its so unfair. And it so is!!! Its wonderful that he's now going to school and taking it all in his stride. I hope the school and children embrace him and make him happy. Golly there's so much I want to say but feel like I'm rambling! Big hugs Paula (((((((()))))))) - hijack this thread anytime! After all, IMO this is a "Cancer sux" thread, not just a soniat-d thread LOL. Come on in - everyone w
soniat-d (153 ) 11:39
am, 3 May
624.
....
welcome ;o)
soniat-d (153 ) 11:40
am, 3 May
625. 
LOL Landylass
Yep, maybe visitors here will deduce that ironing gives you cancer LOL! Hope the chemo thing happens for you ;o) Have a great day. damen gotta go again pick up sweet Emily. Chiao for now ;o)
soniat-d (153 ) 11:42
am, 3 May
626. Hope your ironing is all finished now......
mine is. Just been to the plant centre and bought some lovely polyanthus to put along the front of the house to brighten things a little. Will put them in after lunch and give the lawn a little more time to dry out, before i get the mower into action. I made a big pot of soup last night...mainly pumpkin with bacon and onion and a packet of maggi cream of chicken soup mix in. It is so yummy and a big hit with my family, and in fact everyone else that has had it here too. I love soup especially at this time of year...its so easy ans quick. Hi Sonia...hope all is well for you too, and paula and in fact everyone that cares to pop in. I think about you all. See you again later.
joystik (281 ) 11:49
am, 3 May
627. Yeah Being a mum
and seeing Josh suffer has been the hardest thing I've ever had to do. It was hard to be the mum I wanted to with our daughter too. But you wonderful ladies who are parents are going through as much inner turmoil, I know you said Sonia your mind plays tricks on you well it sure does!!! i thought walking into the childrens cancer ward was hard, but once you get your head around the fact thats where you belong at the moment, you look at the beautiful faces of these darlings and they always smile, they take each day and every treatment. Its amazing how they just accept. Hard to believe our Josh wont finish treatment till he's just over 11 but there are a lot of cuddles kisses and smiles to help us take each minute. Thanks for listening/reading. I think about you all so often.
628. I am so not into ironing and not gonna start now..
Tee hee. Love to you all
629. Wow, Paula,...thats an surreal story...
I imagine you would feel pretty helpless at times, its so wrong that anyone gets this disease, let alone wee ones...just not right!! Warmest wishes to you and your family...:]
630. Hope your well today Sonia...
I magine your having another busy one...it is good to keep busy though. have just shot home for lunch and thought I would send a wee hello out to everyone...hope everyones having a good day. Oh and by the way, phoned my doc and have all my histology being sent away for confirmation on correct follow up, just want a second opinion, apparently these guys in Aussie wrote the Melanoma Bible...so we will see, what recommendations they have.
631. Thats great to have done
fi77. Hope it gives you some peace of mind.
landylass (47 ) 1:06
pm, 3 May
632. HI Paula ;o)
Back again for a mo, yes busy busy again today! I can totally identify with the worrying about being a good mum to your daughter when dealing with all that you are, worrying that she thinks her brother's getting all the attention, etc etc. I'm sure she just accepts it as the new reality too, just as your son does. I'm sure you're doing a fabulous job ;o) I find the current situation for me bizarre, wanting to spend so much time with my girls, but at times being either too sick/tired or away at appointments etc. They're having their rests now (1/2 school day for Lydia today) Em's asleep and Lydias watching the new Narnia DVD - her dad just finished reading the book to her finally last night so she was hanging out to finally see the movie. Best get back soon to make sure its not scaring her ;o)
soniat-d (153 ) 1:58
pm, 3 May
633.
Hi having a good day today
Have to tidy the house now, Lydia has a friend coming after school tomorrow - thats always an incentive to get tidying LOL I've come to terms with the second treatment not starting till after the first, found out today thats next wednesday - yep almost at the end of this original treatment, finishes Tuesday. 25 new blasts in the new treatment starting next week, so that means about another 5 weeks to go of radiation.
soniat-d (153 ) 2:00
pm, 3 May
634. Hi Manukarose :o)
Wow, how awesome are you? You've made my day (week, month... ;o)! Thanks so much! Can't find the words really - yep soniat-d is speechless LOL! Are my clues enough or would you prefer I do the buy now thing?
soniat-d (153 ) 2:03
pm, 3 May
635. Special hi also to boop2
Thanks for that! Yes, I'm known for never sitting down LOL, no time for such creativity now with this radiation - lose all my mornings just driving, finding parks and waiting in waiting rooms etc. The house has gone to the pack! Arrgh! OK, OK I'm off now to sort it, really I am ;o)
soniat-d (153 ) 2:07
pm, 3 May
636. Hi sonia how are you today
wow paula what a story i can to relate to that we to are with starship for my 8yr old had his transplant at 7, his life has been hospitals, countless needles and hurt we had a good run for 3 months nad now are back in a very rocky patch, what amazes me whenever he is asked how are you the same answer GOOD and he can be rotten, he has taught many people in his journey and im sure will teach many more, i dont know where the kids get there strenght but they truly are amazing.
637. Hi Paula thank god Josh is on the
road to recovery your story so upset me what some parents have to bare.I lost a son at 35 you don't expect that. Sonia take it easy and just keep sploshing paint around if it helps. Love to lanylass as well . Hugs to you all I hope my hugs are reaching you.
638. Hi everyone :o)
I am in awe of the new friends I have made through this thread. You have all touched my life with your stories and now you are reaching out to me with strength I am sure some of you need for yourselves. Sonia, you are an amazing lady, I could tell by looking at your photo. YOUR doing a wonderful job! Boop2 thanks we are on the road, might get a bit rocky but we are on it!!!Sorry for your loss.:( Bogeyi I feel for you! I hope each day improves for you, I am thinking of you too.Fi77 all the best and warmest wishes to you too. I hope I didnt forget anyone. I am off to meet the bus now and see both my angels smiles. Yay thanks again xx
639. Sonia
Hi :o). Glad you are having a good day. Love the painting by the way.
640. Bogeyi
How are you coping? Transplant was it Bone Marrow? hows your day been? Thinking of you. Like your son, Josh ALWAYS has the same answer - good thank you, with a nod of his head. Hang in there
641. we are doing ok..yes bone marrow transplant
all was going well engrafted well had 3 months of being really well then about 3 weeks ago routine bloods and had platelets of 16 HGB 70 neut none, what a blow i felt like vomiting as this is where he was before transplant they think he has lost his graft.We had a bone marrow aspiration and it took 3 weeks to get results(longest 3 weeks of my life) as we needed DNA as the donor was my youngest son, Ryan has 21% of Tylers marrow not great i thought but docs said still good better than none at all, so now we are waiting to see if its another transplant I hope not as the body dosent cope to well with more than one, one is hard enough let alone having to do it again.
642. Oh man - bogeyi
Thats hard news to take. You poor things, Its just such a roller coaster isnt it. Just when you feel life is starting to get okish - you get this! I hope you are managing to get some sleep. I have just about stopped asking for blood results now - sometimes I dont want to know! (I know they will tell me if things arent so good) Are you dealing with AML or ALL? Thinking of you. Josh is having a lot of pain at the moment in one ankle, the weak side from his stroke. I worry its not something more than just a strain. Please know I am thinking of you - sending you strength and hugs
643. Aw bogey that is a blow...
I was following your story when I was first diagnosed and it gave me real inspiration... if Ryan could cope with all this who was I to moan over doing Chemo. These kids just amaze me. Good luck to Ryan and Josh too.
landylass (47 ) 5:07
pm, 3 May
644. Landylass
Thanks, we are thinking of you. Josh thanks you too, I tell him about all the lovely people on here who are going through similar. I know it helps when I tell him you all care. :o)
645. hiya landylass how are you?
paula ryan has a rare blood disorder if you want you can check his site www.caringbridge.org/ak/ryan sorry sonia dont want to hijack your thread.
646. bogeyi
Wow, what an awesome site. Just loved the photos, seeing your album makes me appreciate just what you guys have been through. What a beautiful young man. Hang in there you are in my thoughts. Nanite
647. Hi ladies.......I have been reading through
all these messages from today, and all I want to do is cry and cry for you dear little children. Bogeyi, you site is just lovely and you little boy is gorgeous. I just want you to know that I will be thinking of you all every day and can only wish for you continued improvements in the health of your boys. Sending love and big hugs to you all.
648. Hope all the ironing is done......
so we can all have a more exciting day tomorrow...Got all my lawns finished, weeded my lavender garden,(which is flowering beautifully)planted pansy's and polyanthus. So i'm happy now, and can go off to hospital on friday knowing its all done.
649. thanks joystik and paula
he gets his looks from his mum.lol
650. Hi joystik
you have had a busy day! Just wondering how you are coping now its getting close. Thinking of you lots.
landylass (47 ) 9:01
pm, 3 May
651. I just want all this behind me....
so I can get on with what ever is coming my way next. Its all too much at times, but I have lots of support from all you ladies out there as well as closer at hand here, so I will be fine. Didn't know a person could cry so much though!! I cried until my throat hurt this morning...It was dreadful. But I'm just fine now. Thanks so much for caring, all of you. I care back.
652. Joystik we will all be
thinking of you on Friday and looking forward to knowing you are home and on the mend. Just wishing you heaps of best wishes for Friday and hoping they don't muck you around anymore. I don't know Invercargill hospital but presume its quite big. Do you know what ward you will be on?
landylass (47 ) 9:24
pm, 3 May
653. Hi Sonia, and all the other lovely ladies
who have joined this thread. Have just been catching up on the last few pages, and the tears are falling. Newsflash - ironing definately doesn't cause cancer. What does an iron look like?!! I don't do ironing, but I've had cancer. I can so relate to all the feelings being expressed. I know how you feel and I understand those feelings. I just hope you're all as lucky as I have been. Mine had been growing for 2 years before someone believed me that something was not right. Just wanted to say to you all ' Walk this day in peace and in the warmth of the sun and know that you were in someone's thoughts.' God Bless.
deekayem (314 ) 9:31
pm, 3 May
654.
Hi everyone
My, I see it's been another busy day on here - great to see your site agin bogeyi, Ryan's hair is growing back so well, he certainly is a charmer! You can tell him my hair's still not fit for public display LOL! But seriously, as others have said above, my heart breaks for you and Paula's sons, the monster always seems to go for the precious ones...wish I knew why, its just not fair!?! Ryans smile still shows strength in the face of adversity. Be strong boys, fight the fight and keep on smiling :o) Big hugs to you both from me, you make me feel humble.
soniat-d (153 ) 10:01
pm, 3 May
655. Thanks for your warm thoughts .......
and support. There are a lot of happy endings out there, but at times it is hard to see past the other bad stuff. Pleased you are well now, and i hope soon I will be too.
joystik (281 ) 10:02
pm, 3 May
656. Not sure which ward Landylass......
Its the first floor, thats all I know, and surgical of course. If I remember to ask when I ring tomorrow, I will post it on here for you. Just wish I could take this with me but don't think they would provide an internet connection would they??? Maybe they have an internet station there for people that are addicted, to use so they dont suffer too much withdrawl.
joystik (281 ) 10:06
pm, 3 May
657. Tell them you need some
extra painkillers to get over your addiction!
landylass (47 ) 10:07
pm, 3 May
658. sonia he hates his curly hair, all the ladies
comment on his curls and touch it much to his displeasure, he prefered his straight hair as it could spike it up.
659.
LOL bogeyi ;o)
Mines growing back curly too! Damn shame thats not in vogue nowadays! Yep I remember you saying that a few months back, hoping he was happier about it now! It may change a bit later on, I've heard it does that ;o)
soniat-d (153 ) 10:14
pm, 3 May
660. Hi again Joystick
Best I can say is hang in there, it will get better, its healthy to cry it out but try and hang onto the positive vibes, trust me, you will feel HEAPS better afterwards, mentally, knowing the beastie's out. Is that whats bothering you most? Or the surgery???
soniat-d (153 ) 10:16
pm, 3 May
661. yep i heard it does go back to original
after a few cuts.
662. The whole thing really sonia........
just want the surgery over with so I can see its not that bad. And too know what we are dealing with and what else is in store for me over the next how ever long. The Operation its self doesnt really bother me, but the word CANCER certainly does. I'm sure you will be able to identify with that. See ya tomorrow.
joystik (281 ) 10:27
pm, 3 May
663. Oh well, I'm off again now #sigh#
Lydia's got her new friend (Ella)coming to visit after school tomorrow, and when I collected her today she said she'd told Ella that I was going to make them chocolate muffins for tomorrow! The look on Ella's face was priceless so I relented and said yes LOL Think Lydia had that planned all along!!! Have to make them now, as all tomorrow booked out (radiation, then counselling @ Cancer Society). Bye for now :o)
soniat-d (153 ) 10:29
pm, 3 May
664. Fair enough Joystick ;o)
Yep that first week after the op when all the test results are coming in is a bit of a rollercoaster - we'll be praying for a good outcome for you. All the best :o)
soniat-d (153 ) 10:31
pm, 3 May
665. Goodluck Joystick....remember to tell them you
get travel sickness at your pre-op...I have watched others wake up from anaethetsic spewing and a good friend told me to mention I get travel sickness and I woke up,witnessing many spewing...but NOT me!! Ensure you push the buzzer willy nilly and get all the pills and pain relief you can and if your blood pressure arm thingys annoying you, dont take it off just loosen it...I keep ripping mine off and dumping it on the floor but they watch for readings at the reception, I think, and appeared to know i was ripping mine off...haha...take your favourite pillow case and put it on your pillow instead off hospital ones, you will feel much nicer...oh and take a packet of eta uppercuts, sea salt and herb...I scoffed a whole bag nearly as soon as i woke up, was starving!...all the best and warmest wishes to you, will be thinking of you:]...Night everyone, sweetdreams...
666.
Nite nite Sonia
Sleep well and dream of a better tomorrow :)
667. Ryan is lovely
Good luck joystick. Hi Sonia and everyone I will be away till tuesday so wish you all well will be thinking of you all. Take care & hugs.
668.
Morning Sonia,
Just popping in to say "good morning" and to wish you a lovely day and the same to all the who visit this thread. Wishing all strength, you're not alone in the fight with cancer! Have a great day everyone.
669.
Cheers Cole ;o)
Just popping in quickly, have a full-on day today, so may not get in here much, but so appreciate all the support. My (((((hugs))))) go out to other cancer battlers - we WILL win! Emily happy today so thats a wonderful start :o)
soniat-d (153 ) 8:39
am, 4 May
670. Morning fi77, boop2, sonia, landylass and
everyone else who comes in to see us all every day. Thanks for your love and support, its all good and something I appreciate very much as I face the biggie tomorrow. I really look forward to when this is all over and life can be normal again, but in the mean time I will battle and I WILL WIN! Love and big (((HUGS))) to you all.
671. Good Morning Love & Healing thoughts to you all
Just thought it might be nice to show you a few pics of my family since you have all been so kind and supportive. Never done this before so here goes... http://i50.photobucket.com/albums/f337/riddle1/JoshOct2005RonaldMcDonaldHouse.jpg http://i50.photobucket.com/albums/f337/riddle1/Cassie.jpg http://i50.photobucket.com/albums/f337/riddle1/Portacath13-2-06.jpg http://i50.photobucket.com/albums/f337/riddle1/JoshinChristchurch.jp g http://i50.photobucket.com/albums/f337/riddle1/100_0246.jpg http://i50.photobucket.com/albums/f337/riddle1/Me.jpg http://i50.photobucket.com/albums/f337/riddle1/OurCassielle.jpg http://i50.photobucket.com/albums/f337/riddle1/Dadandhiskids.jpg Have a good day, bestest wishes x
672. Whoops
Sorry one of the links needs the jpg at the end together. The g went funny. Enjoy the photos - hope they dont make anyone feel sad that wasnt my intention :o)
673. We just had a AGM for CCF
in Queenstown and we got to do some pretty special things, here are a couple more of us on the Gondolas, Josh sitting on the Earnslaw with the sun shining thru his ears lol, we had a fun time. Thanks for looking http://i50.photobucket.com/albums/f337/riddle1/OurJosh.jpg http://i50.photobucket.com/albums/f337/riddle1/d07f6542.jpg http://i50.photobucket.com/albums/f337/riddle1/c9e68ec3.jpg
674. you have a lovely family
paula
675. Thanks bogeyi
I reckon too!! :o)
676. What lovely photos of your family Paula....
We just went to Queenstown at easter and went to Walter Peak for lunch on the Earnslaw. It is such a beaut trip isnt it. We do that quite often actually, and went there for Christmas dinner last Christmas,just beautiful. Thanks so much for sharing your family with us. Its kinda like one big family here isn't it. Love and best wishes to you all.
joystik (281 ) 10:24
am, 4 May
677. Getting too far down..........
Bump........
joystik (281 ) 11:41
am, 4 May
678.
Just popped back in for a moment
and couldn't resist seeing all the photos! What a stunning looking family you are, glad to see Josh smiling in the last pics :o) My that poor kid has really had a rough time - the pics say it all. Thanks for sharing them Paula, big hugs to you and you family and an especially big one to Josh :o) :o) :o) :o)
soniat-d (153 ) 12:19
pm, 4 May
679. Hi joystik and Sonia
Thanks. Just got some more photos developed - dont worry wont post them on here tee hee. I forgot what was on the film, they were photos of Josh days before his diagnosis. Then his very first days in hospital, needless to say I needed the tissues close. Still we are moving on in life arent we!!! So onward and upward. Ahh life is interesting, who said they only give you what you can handle, mmmm. Somedays I wonder. Lots a love xxx Yes Queenstown is so lovely. Have a nice afternoon to you all
680. They are lovely photos!
I am glad I took quite a few of various stages [my daughter was overseas and I took them to email her] and now its great to look back and think wow that seems like ages ago even though its only a few months. Seeing those photos of the luge makes me want to go back to Queenstown. I am just a big kid at heart and love that ride!
landylass (47 ) 1:46
pm, 4 May
681. Hi Sonia
glad Emily is happier today... sure must make life easier for you. Poor wee mite it must be hard for her to understand everything that is going on and kids pick up the vibes when you are not having a good day. Got my chemo this morning so I am happy. Blood counts still a bit below normal but better than they were before last round.
landylass (47 ) 1:48
pm, 4 May
682.
Hi Landylass :o)
Well thats great news you managed to get another one under your belt :o) I had sessions where my bloods were like that - no worries, they recover before the full effects of chemo round hits I always found ;o) Fingers crossed the next few days go well for you ;o)
soniat-d (153 ) 4:05
pm, 4 May
683.
See ya sonia, paula, and everyone.........
i'm first on the list in the morning.....have to be there at 7.15 which is like the middle of the night to me. But pleased that its happening this time. Thanks for caring so much about me, and I will see you all again just after the weekend. You all enjoy your weekend, in the sunshine (if you're lucky) and take good care of yourselves and the little people in your lives. Big hugs and lots of love to you all.....Bye...
684. joystik
Will be thinking of you all the best. Love and hugs Paula
685. All the best Joystik,
that wee beast will soon be gone! ((((( big hugs)))))
landylass (47 ) 4:45
pm, 4 May
686. re: anaesthetic vomiting.
I vomited many years ago, and thought anaesthetics had surely improved by now, but my sister was so bad after a minor procedure she was admitted for the day. I told my doctor this at my pre-op recently and he read her file. He said that knowing that helped and he could give me something to prevent it. I woke feeling absolutely fine, but decided to forgo the cup of tea in case it came up.
donnabeth (66 
) 4:56
pm, 4 May
687.
Best wishes to you Joystick
Great that its first thing in the morning, don't have to sit around all day waiting for it like I did ;o) Just remember to demand more pain relief, anti-vomiting meds if you need it (I needed both LOL) and just take care of you. See you back here monster-free sometime soon :o)
soniat-d (153 ) 5:42
pm, 4 May
688.
Hey soniat....
How goes it? Haven't read everything as it's really long... Sorry to hear of your news... My mum had very similar in November - only she was sent a letter by mistake.Yep that's right wasn't meant for her... Cancer back in the liver this time - apparently not that unusal. Only they aren't going to operate just watch... Mum's doing well - she just gets on with life - a real inspiration to us all. So we watch and wait also... Your right cancer really sux and I (for one) will be taking your advice re the mamio - booking all my checkups real soon (as soon as the lad has his court case on Tuesday).... All the best! Take care of you and your lovely family... Same goes to everyone else on here who are going thru similar things... Cheers!
689. just bumping up...
Yuk kicked in mid afternoon but feeling better tonight once got more meds into me. Off to bed to read Phil Kerslake book which I managed to borrow off Cancer Soc. In for a long night tonight as blood sugars are thru the roof again so will be setting the alarm to test every 2-3 hours. I have cut back the steroid doing it but they have been worse since on the new chemo and slower to go down after I get off the meds so now wondering if the chemo drug is having an effect too.
landylass (47 ) 9:25
pm, 4 May
690.
Landylass
I hope you have a good nights sleep and feel better tomorrow. I guess knowing you have to do your finger pricks?? wont make for a very restful night. Hang in there you are all doing a wonderful job. p.s steroids arent that great are they but I guess in the big scheme they help.Keep up the good work. Nanite
691. a little bump to the top ...
this thread doesn't deserve to be on PAGE THREE! xxx
manukarose1 (135 ) 9:31
am, 5 May
692.
thanx manukarose1
I was looking... (((hugs to all the brave people in the thread))) Have a great weekend... and to sonia, I think of you often. How is the awesome new desk working out... that is truely a work of art...
joybells63 (1095 
) 9:34
am, 5 May
693.
Hi Guys :o)
Thanks for the bumps! Got in early at radiation today so back already! Came back here to slather the area with aqueous cream as its getting RED! Bumped into an old chemo buddy there this morning and had a good chat so that was nice :o) Will be back in here this afternoon - must go now and take the opportunity to have some retail therapy while kid-free LOL. New Desk is AWESOME Joybells Love it love it love it! The funniest thing is getting used to a solid desk - my keyboard no longer bounces as I type LOL!!! Takes quite some getting used to ;o) Next on list is to finish clearing old desk, get rid of that and get some new curtains (sold previous nursery curatins on TM (this room used to be the nursery ;o)
soniat-d (153 ) 10:01
am, 5 May
694.
PS Thanks again Manukarose :o)
You're a wonderful person :o)
soniat-d (153 ) 10:09
am, 5 May
695.
go check out her listing sonia...
that is one awesome piece....
joybells63 (1095 ) 10:18
am, 5 May
696. Did I miss it???
:o/ ?!!!!
soniat-d (153 ) 12:40
pm, 5 May
697. Afternoon all...
hehe I think I went out in sympathy last night with Joystik. Went to bed early and was still awake at 4am! Blood sugars have stayed down this time so can't even blame that! Mr 14 decided to make bread before he went to bed last night. I watched him. At 3am I was sitting in the lounge reading and I could smell yeast. Had a look at bread and it was kneaded and stunk of yeast. Reaslied I stood there and watched him moan about having trouble getting the measuring spoon in the yeast jar. Yeap I stood there and let him put 3 Tablespoons instead of teaspoons!!!! Chemo brain eh! Threw it out and put another one on rapid bake so it was ready for breakfast. What a nice mess that could have been. Knackered today, went back to bed this morning but phone went. Also got Mr14 home threatening to throw up.
landylass (47 ) 1:18
pm, 5 May
698. Oh dear Landylass thats no good (lack of sleep)
Hope you're off to have a kip now then. I am ;o)
soniat-d (153 ) 1:22
pm, 5 May
699. Hi Megang
Thanks for posting - hope things are well with you and your Mum. I'm feeling good today thanks - my current situation is, current radiation treatment almost complete (last one this coming Monday) then I have a day off, then Wednesday I start a new lot of radiation for expanded area to cover lumps missed by first treatment (which was planned thinking there were no lumps). So another 6 weeks of radiation... then 2 weeks after that I have another CT scan to see "whats what". What we'll hope to see is no new tumors, existing ones shrunk a bit. Then operation. Then maybe chemo? Depends on biospy results STILL not in.
soniat-d (153 ) 1:27
pm, 5 May
700. Another hundee ;o)
Woohoo! Thanks guys for all your interest and kind thoughts and words :o)
soniat-d (153 ) 1:28
pm, 5 May
701. Hello Lovely ladies
Well Mum Has her first appointment with Dr Benji next Wednesday so I have forewarned her as forewarned is forearmed as to his bed side manner. She had her Hormone oncologist meeting last wednesday and will have started those now (Tamoxopan sp) And you will be pleased to know I have booked in the mammogram I have been putting off and will be having that at Mercy next Friday, I figure I wanted the first one to be with them and then I will see how I feel about the breast screening programme for the next one. With Mums history I will be on yearly mammograms from now on. So I hope anyone reading this inspirational thread regardless of age gets a mammogram, mine will be with southern cross but would have found the money somewhere if I didn't have health insurance. So take care ladies and good luck for the next steps in your journey to recovery and beating the monster!
toadfish (860 ) 2:47
pm, 5 May
702. Hello
Well this weekend is a big one for those of you with husbands like mine that hunt. I am NOT gonna stay home and keep the meals etc coming this time, my daughter and I are going out to do girly things. So I am thinking of you all constantly, always with healing in mind. lots a love and hang in there xxx
703. hello everyone, hope everybody is doing ok
ryan had platelets today and is doing ok, tomorrow the local fire brigade is going to pick him up and is spending the day with them at the sky tower for the skycity challenge where they run up the stairs in full gear to raise money for lukemeia (sp) and blood services....should be good fun.
704. aw bogey that will
&n