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 501.         So yes...a broken heart and some trauma followed

          Family and friends perceived I would be on cloud nine and I rarely heard from them...the ex-boyfriend just visited tonight for the first time in 8 months and I thought for some reason he might have something in his eyes which suggested he felt bad for his decisions at that time...it appears he doesnt, I wanted to see him weak, like i was, I wanted to see him cry, but he just made excuses...I have found the whole process the lonliest time in my life and although the anguish comes and goes,there is always that lingering concern I will face it all again...it is always difficult to perceive the amount of inner strength we have...we are all different, its a mental game...I cant read anything about anyone with Cancer or anything debilatating and view it as I had prior surgery...I know oneday it may be me again and I wish I was as strong as you, I wish had not been such a sook...It took me months to get a grip on reality...Still now I find it difficult to forgive the people who i feel walked away at that time or did

fi77 (35 )    12:24 am, 1 May


 502.         did not meet expectations...

          you have this perception and expectation of how friends and family will respond...then you carry around the anguish of feeling let down, for ever it seems...my ex for example...he nursed me, cared for me immediately after surgery and then abandoned me...haha...he wanted to see my scars tongiht, but i did not feel inclined to become his circus monkey, he didnt want to see them 8 months ago, whats different now? Thanks Sonia, was nice to have a rant, especially since he has just left and was tempted to cry...haha, pleased I didnt...hope your sleeping soundly, I might have another hot drink, then off to bed...thinking of you:] sweet dreams.

fi77 (35 )    12:32 am, 1 May


 503.         I'm back...haha

          Was about to have a wee cry and decided to pop back in for a few moments...cant be bothered with puffy morning eyes! I told my ex a wee story about a cup. A cup which was left broken, dropped by his clumsy butter fingers...but was slowly trying to mend itself and was feeling pretty good a few months ago, until stupid head butter fingers thought he might write and tell me he was feeling a little broken...in which i replied, of course i will help you but you have to promise me you wont break me again, i am only recently glued back together...he agreed as he felt alone and although i owed me nothing after dropping me and smashing me to pieces, i hoped through me helping him that he would realise how imprtant i was...but he lied and pursued the one thing he had promised me he would not do...Smashed little cup, more pieces, harder to glue and left wondering...Who are you??? Who does that? I wish people realised somedays it is especially important not to rodger the broken people...they have enough on their plat

fi77 (35 )    12:54 am, 1 May


 504.         Hi Sonia

          Just popped in to say still with you, in thought and prayer. I'm in absolute awe of your strength. You go, girl! We continue to lift you up to the love of our Lord, and ask Him to bless you as you go through each day. Keep positive, my dear. God Bless.

deekayem (314 )    1:09 am, 1 May


 505.         Thanks Everyone

          for the info on Benji. Its good to be prepared, I think Mums appointment with him is on Wednesday so I have just offered (via email) to go with her (as well as Dad) for support, 3 heads to absorb what he says might be better than 2. The thing is at this stage of the game we don't really know what questions to ask (its less than a month from diagnosis) but man are we learning about the BC Game quickly! Thanks for your help and good luck with your appointment today Sonia, Mum has one with Shaz today, its a small world really everyone running around to appointments, in fact its good in a way to realise that - as its very easy to think its just your family that is in turmoil. Have great day everyone

toadfish (860 )    5:53 am, 1 May


 506.         soniat-d ... I'm still keeping up w/this thread!

          That desk your hubby made - very impressive!!! So is your website ... wow ... you have been one busy family these past few years! Reading your story and hearing about the strikes put a little bee in my bonnet. I thought - 'oh, I can be a radiation therapist!' - so I looked into it ... *sigh* ... well, maybe not. But - it certainly does seem as though LOTS of people do want this training - there just aren't enough spots available each year to accommodate the applicants. (My research showed only 1 school does the training - and it's a full-time 3 year course in Wellington w/only 38 slots per year ... but over 150 applicants per year! Also, only 6 hospitals in the country provide jobs for radiation therapists ... and my local hospital is not one of them.) Anyway - it's great to see there are lots of people who want to get into this field ... now if only the government could make it more widely available ... ??? Sending good vibes and best wishes to everyone dealing w/this 'monster' ...

dj74 (123 )    8:36 am, 1 May


 507.         fi77 so sad .

          I felt so sad reading your story, come in here for comfort and support everyone is kind and caring.Hi sonia of course you can spoil those girls and yourself I might add. Popped in to give you a hug and good luck for today. Always face the sunshine and the shadows will fall behind you.

boop2 (106 )    9:45 am, 1 May


 508.         oh not soo bad...honestly...

          Thanks boop2...it was just a rough night to be honest...I had not seen him in sooo long and the circmstances for which he left resurfaced some painful memories...I have a packet of Tim Tams and the day off, so today will be a good day...its definitey all a head game you dont always feel strong enough to play...Anyway I do hope all other battlers had a better night than me and today is another day!! haha...Sonia, I hope you are having a good day, It is great following your story and your recovery, is very therapuedic...:]

fi77 (35 )    1:07 pm, 1 May


 509.         Hope radiation went

          well this morning Sonia and that arm is better. fi77 you have that inner strength. You have dealt with your ex leaving at a time when you really needed someone and sound like a much stronger person now. Thats the one thing that keeps me going. My rock to lean on! Poor hubby bears the brunt somedays. 12-15 hour day and then comes home and has to cook/clean up mess etc. This monster just doesn't effect the victim. It has a ripple effect for those around us. My hubby has just had his 5-6th melanoma out and its scary.

landylass (47 )    1:37 pm, 1 May


 510.         fi77, I feel for you!!! My ex was a heartless

          scuzzball too and let me down VERY nadly (but I won't go into all that, it's too depressing, plus it'll hijack Sonia's supportive thread! LOL!!) I will tell you though that some good did come out of it. I wrote a list of the qualities I expected from my next partner and I told myself I would not bother with anyone who didn't meet every criteria. Well, whaddya know, I met my husband and he was everything on the list and more! Try it, if it worked for me maybe it will for you. I got the idea from a friend who was dating a guy I called Prince Charming (they're now married). I told her I wanted to know how she scored such a fab guy and that's what she told me she did. All the best :o)

tishie (60 )    2:43 pm, 1 May


 511.         so, how'd it all go today sonia?

          I've been thinking of you while hauling more furniture around! I have a thing about rearranging bedrooms (it's cheaper than totally redecorating but I get the same buzz from it). I'm still cooking the bun in the oven....this time next week I'll know what date my Caesarean is going to be. After I had #1 as an emergency Caesar they discovered my pelvis is smaller than normal so now I get booked in for C sections. I've got two girls Camryn, 6 and Aria 23 months. This baby is a boy if the scans are all correct. We still don't have any names we agree on so if any of you need a distraction feel free to throw ideas at me.

tishie (60 )    2:47 pm, 1 May


 512.         oh, and on the topic of names:

          I like unusual ones BUT not any that are so unusal they make people assume you're trailer trash!!! That's why it's so hard to pick names. There's a fine line between uncommon and trailer trash often! None of these made-up sounding names or anything that sounds like a Jerry Springer guest!! LOL! I don't want the latest trendy name because I don't want my kids to be one of five in their class with the same name. No 'B' names as the middle name will most likely be John after a good friend who died a few years ago. No 'N' names because our surname starts with N and I'm not into alliteration. So, there's the rules....now get your thinking caps on please coz my head hurts from trying to find a name!

tishie (60 )    2:52 pm, 1 May


 513.      Oooh Tishie you can take our boys name

          Mason :o) We just loved that name, but never had a boy to use it on! Hey I agree with the furniture buzz - our house feels so different and we haven't spent a cent LOL!

soniat-d (153 )    2:52 pm, 1 May


 514.      OMG! Just saw all the posts for today!

          I've been out all day till now! Hello all! Gosh so much to say about whats been said above but MUST go collect Lydia from School, so will have to return later.... Radiation went well thanks - didn't really need Brent there as it turned out, I was fine and they shoooed him out of the room before Dr Benjamin arrived so I had to deal with him on my own anyway! One more highly unexciting tatoo graces my body LOL, hopefully the changed regime will come in tomorrow, but being public system I'm not holding my breath!

soniat-d (153 )    2:56 pm, 1 May


 515.         Tishie...fantastic advice...will prepare critera..

          immediately...some names for you...quinn, fin, jake, jackson, wilson, archie...I like names that would look cute on little old men sitting in rocking chairs...hmmm, haha...oh well, might trigger some thoughts. Thanks ladylass for your kind words and sorry Sonia for stealing your thread breifly, I forgot it was not just you i was ranting to, but it was nice to let off some steam...you were asleep anyway...haha!!what does radiation involve?Is it like getting at xray?

fi77 (35 )    3:27 pm, 1 May


 516.         and landylass...

          your husband...shit, 5th and 6th...does he catch them early? IE, before vertical growth phase? Bloody hell...wow, that sucks...

fi77 (35 )    3:33 pm, 1 May


 517.         Mason, that's a cool name!

          My in-laws have neighbours who named their son that - he's the same age as Aria. Aside from him I don't know any others. fi77, you won't believe this but Quinn & Finn are on my list and Jake is our cat!! (so Jake's out, obviously!! LOL!) Hubby says no to Quinn because he knows a guy who's surname is Quinn (so they call him Quinny) and he was a bit of a rogue. Hubby also says no to Finn coz that's my brother's name. I like it though coz I'm half Irish and I'd like to use an Irish name. Here's my rough list in no particular order: Keiran, Jared, Kegan, Finn, Quinn, Ezra, Kian, Rory, Malachai, Reilly, Tate, Kyan, Hudson, Xavier, Regan. Trouble is I'm at the point I write a name down and next time I look at the list I think "WTF was I thinking???" Hahhaaa

tishie (60 )    3:41 pm, 1 May


 518.         I'm pleased to hear radiation went OK.

          Poor Brent getting shooed away though. Can't he say "No, I'm staying!" I reckon I'd want my hubby there so he could remember everything the doctor said. I know if I was dealing with cancer I'd probably forget the whole conversation I had with the doctor as soon as I left the hospital! I htought of studying radiation too when I heard about the huge shortages. Someone like me would be ideal - I have kids and my husband has his own business so it's not like I'd be off overseas as soon as I qualified. The pathetic thing is at the grand old age of 31 with (almost) 3 kids I feel like I'm "past it" as far as taking up new studies goes!!

tishie (60 )    4:07 pm, 1 May


 519.         I found the list...

          I thought my hubby had hidden it seeing as he doesn't really care for any of the names on it!! LOL! As well as the names mentioned above I have: Elijah, Ryan, Aiden, Micah, Troy, McKay, Jarrah, Ellery, Jed, Xander. Middle name will most likely be John but if not then it might be Liam, Lucas or James. Some of the names on that list are less favoured than others but I won't say which so I get honest opinions.

tishie (60 )    5:23 pm, 1 May


 520.         fi77 yep so far

          all been caught early. He could have waited 5 months to have this removed in the system but from previous long scary wait he opted to let GP do this. I am just waiting for the day his luck runs out. Interesting that radiation dr I saw on Friday suggested to him that it could be genetic with the number he has had.

landylass (47 )    5:28 pm, 1 May


 521.         landylass, your Oamaru...hmmm...I had my

          initial exicision in Oamaru as I thats where my family GP is, I am an Oamaru child, all grown up, haha...I dont want to name names, but my GP wanted to wait till I was up at Xmas, 6 months away...lol...it was grade 4 in June, what would it of been at bloody Xmas?? Hmmm, not sure I trust doctors opinions so much now...they are like anyone in any job and if their tired or having a bad day, they like to postpone anything that means they have to get off their arse, I am pleased I insisted, but at tha point I had had an apiffany and deep down I knew it was malignant...But yes it is a shit of a cancer, just the aggressivness of it and its mastastic tendancy...Now just curious...about Xmas time I felt a wee pea sized hard lump in behind my boob...but I could never find it again, so thought I was delusional...think you worry you are becoming paranoid somedays and end up dismissing stuff after a scare...you would think I'd be the opposite!!

fi77 (35 )    6:24 pm, 1 May


 522.         Soniat just read all of this thread.Hugs to you.

          Your daughters are beautiful.We have 5 G/daughter and 1 G/son who is Mason.All the best to you and your family.

jubellsrose (207 )    6:55 pm, 1 May


 523.      Thanks Jubellsrose :o)

          LOL what are the chances that your 1 g/son is called Mason LOL Thanks very much for your kind wishes, it has been a lovely full-on day - never a chance to get here - guess thats the way it should be ;o)

soniat-d (153 )    7:44 pm, 1 May


 524.         Hi Fi77

          Thanks for sharing your story - your ex sounds like a right #@*%! OK you hadn't been going out that long, but still, there are ways to deal with things!?! My brother has only been going out with his girlfriend for a couple of months when her dearest only brother drowned, causing immense family distress ending in her father leaving her mother. It went on and on and my brother was stunned, but hung in there till the sun started to shine again. They just got married in January - very cool :o) Anyway, what I'm trying to say (but digressing madly on LOL) is that you were and are right to be upset by that. Vent all you like. The friends thing - yep, snap, here too (helloooo - anybody there? LOL). My dh's attitude to life is "Don't worry about what you can't change" and I've slowly learned to think that way over the years, I'm getting better with time! Once you've managed to crawl your way out of one deep grimy pit, its easier

soniat-d (153 )    7:58 pm, 1 May


 525.      Cont'd...

          ...its easier to believe you can do it when you fall into the next one. I have my moments, believe me (like every time my daughters tell me how much they love me and want to stay with me forever - it makes me feel guilty of maybe letting them down in the future. Makes me want to Fight! Fight! Fight!). Anyway, big hugs to you, (More to say but "ding!" its bathtime, back later ;o)

soniat-d (153 )    7:58 pm, 1 May


 526.      hay sonia

          dont know if you have been in the other thread but i posted about being phoned at 3.40pm today by north shore hospital to go in for another mamagram tomorow morning!! something about they need another view of it, i had two when i went the other week plus the scan, shoot that makes me sooo nervous as i thought it was all good and now this

pomegal (91 )    8:03 pm, 1 May


 527.         Hi pomegal......

          hopefully they will just want to follow something up that they have seen on the mammogram that you had done. I only wish that they had done that with mine instead of me finding it 4months later, then being fobbed off by the GP, and now being faced with what I have now. I had my pre admission checks today and was told mine is 5.5 now!! After friday it will all be gone I hope. Its like some of the other ladies have said, not all the lumps we find are cancer, some of us just seem to have drawn the short straw. Will be thinking of you tomorrow morning and wish you heaps of good luck.

joystik (281 )    8:52 pm, 1 May


 528.         Hi sonia....hope you have had a good day.....

          and got all that furniture moved about! I was so shattered after my big day mowing on saturday, and then yesterday got a bit of a second wind, and attacked my gardens here. I was so sore last night, I wondered how I would ever sleep, and I didnt much! I was quite stressed also and when I'm stressed I get this terrible pain sort of over my shoulder and up my neck. It was awful all night, but I noticed it disappeared once I was at the hospital. Pre admission all done now so lets hope friday is the day! Hope your radiotherapy is going well. The lady that did my bloods today had a mastectomy 3 years ago and she didnt have any radiotherapy or chemo. That would be pretty unusual wouldn't it?? Could only hope that could be me too, but the registrat said mine is 5.5 now so that is big aye???

joystik (281 )    9:00 pm, 1 May


 529.         pomegal, turn it round and think

          it is better for you to get called back now that another year or two down the track when you have another mammogram. Good luck to you. Hi sonia wish I could really hug you as you make me feel so humble. God bless

boop2 (106 )    9:01 pm, 1 May


 530.         After reading some posts on here.........

          I am just so greatful for the suppport of my husband. He has been just so good to me and truely is a ROCK too. He took me to Nelson because I was so upset about my surgery being postponed, and has just been so supportive through this whole thing. Today he came with me for all my tests, and each time I had to take my clothing off, he folded it up all nice for me, all ready to put back on. I just love him to bits and dont know where I would be without him just now. We have been thru so much together in our 22 years of marriage, and I have always been able to do a lot of the heavier physical work, because he couldn't after he broke his back for the second time. When this came along for me I just felt like I had let the side down badly, but he has always re-assured me that I haven't and now we have to change our way of life to compensate for these changes. We still have so much to look forward to together, and most of all, we have each other, and that is special.

joystik (281 )    9:09 pm, 1 May


 531.      Whew! Finally back - but not for long!

          Have a mountain of ironing and washing to get through now!

soniat-d (153 )    9:22 pm, 1 May


 532.         Hi Boop2

          I loved your "Always face the sunshine and the shadows will fall behind you." quote - ah so true :o) Thanks for that!

soniat-d (153 )    9:23 pm, 1 May


 533.         Hi Pomegal :o)

          Ditto what boop said - its great they are being cautious and re-looking - wish my docs had done that! Doesn't mean it is anything yet, try not to worry too much (I know - yeah right!) If any doubt, demand a biopsy, just to be sure. Good luck! (I'm over at Auckland Hospital at 9.40am - what time is your appointment?)

soniat-d (153 )    9:25 pm, 1 May


 534.      Hi Joystick :o) :o) :o)

          Big huge cyber hugs to you (((((())))))! Yes 5.5 is pretty big but it all depends on what type it is, maybe its not as aggressive as the type I have. I have the "young ladies cancer" which is apparently a doozy - very aggressive - hence the situation I'm in now. Glad your dh is being such a honey - mine is too! Yep furniture all moved, just finishing the residual sort-out that results from these moves. Now we just need Brents cousin to do that big painting for our new bare wall. She just emailed me tonight (yay!) and says she can come late May and measure up and discuss what she'll do. She's an awesome artist :o) Can't wait!

soniat-d (153 )    9:30 pm, 1 May


 535.         Well Actually...it was 2 and half years...truely

          a betrayel, he was my best friend, I trusted him implicitly...had it of been two months I might of been able to put it all in perspective...I am young and mobile and strong 90% of the time...I have heaps to be grateful for, it just hurts when you realise the love has drained out of them and been replaced with merely 'lets keep intouch'...hahaha, its so empty, so 'light'...I wish I had of been a bit saner at diagnosis, and had of made better decisions, asked more questions about recovery and the emotional effects...Yes I could imagine having kids changes the whole thought process all over again, I cant imagine how any wee girl makes it through life without her mum, there essential!! Your essential!!

fi77 (35 )    9:32 pm, 1 May


 536.         Have the best sleep Sonia

          ...thanks for your message, you have so many to chat you each night, it must feel overwhelming somedays to see all these people take such an interest in your life...I had never looked here before and was just being nosey to see if anyone had posted messages about the company I work for...and i am pleased I found your thread...more later:]

fi77 (35 )    9:45 pm, 1 May


 537.         Hi Fi77

          Oh sorry - silly me rushing through - so much to read! - OMG 2.5 years! Yep thats betrayal alright. Man I wish you'd talked to the cancer society at the time - they are so awesome - why don't you call them now? It's never too late.

soniat-d (153 )    9:45 pm, 1 May


 538.     So I've been thinking...

          Back to when I first found out I had my first lump and that it was cancer (with no fam history) it seemed so unreal, like this does now. I'd had a breast exam several months before. I was told all was well and I asked if I should mammogram to be sure and was talked out of it. A mamm would have found that lump then, for sure, much earlier than when I finally felt it. How much better would things be for me now if I'd shaved those precious months off discovering the cancer in the first place?

soniat-d (153 )    9:46 pm, 1 May


 539.         Oh well

          Can't cry over spilt milk now can we?!

soniat-d (153 )    9:53 pm, 1 May


 540.      Hi Dj74

          Thanks so much - I'll tell Brent his desk has been admired again ;o) Yep we've been busy alright - I was too busy to check my boobs!!! Still doing it - when will I ever learn? Interesting what you say about the radiologists - every time I go in there's a new trainee being introduced to me - I wonder where they all go? Yep the government certainly need to look into more radiation machines around the country, they are already stretched and its only going to get worse!!! OK I MUST deal to that ironing now! Bye all, have I missed anyone? Will check later ;o)

soniat-d (153 )    9:59 pm, 1 May


 541.         fi77 have you mentioned

          that pea you thought you found in your boob, to any of the drs you have or are seeing? Maybe we had the same GP cause I changed after my diagnosis. I wanted one that was going to do battle for me not tell me I can't hurry the hospital system when I complained how long it was taking my hubby to get a melanoma removed! If you don't mind me asking where did your melanoma start?

landylass (47 )    10:10 pm, 1 May


 542.         I wish, I wish there was just some

          small thing I could do to help one of you ladies. I hope just being here talking is helping. Night

boop2 (106 )    10:16 pm, 1 May


 543.         Hey Fi77

          I'm with Landylass - I forgot about that pea lump you mentioned (wierd for me to miss that!)Please get it mammogrammed, just to be sure. I know after what you went through before you may want to ignore it for now, may have just been a hormonal lump, but if it was hard... best see if its still in there somewhere. Oh and the radiation question, yes its like an xray at the time, only it makes a buzzing sound when running which is quite unnerving when you're under it! Later though, the area being irradiated gets angry, mine is starting to now - time for some more aqueous cream me thinks...

soniat-d (153 )    10:17 pm, 1 May


 544.         here is a good survivor story...

          hubbys neice had hodgkinson non lymphoma I think it was called when she was about 16 or 17 - still at school. Went thru the works at the time, surgery, chemo & radiation. She gave birth to a healthy wee boy today. Little monkey was breech so was a caesar but she has a healthy baby to show for it. So there is hope after treatment. This baby makes us feel old as its about great neice/nephew no 18 for us! This neice was born on hubbys 21st birthday.

landylass (47 )    10:18 pm, 1 May


 545.      You are helping boop2 :o)

          You say such lovely things to us :o) Thanks for that!

soniat-d (153 )    10:18 pm, 1 May


 546.         Wow sonia

          What a small world.Even though i dont know you i have been following your post to see how you have been going.Anyway i recently just clicked that my partner used to work for your father in law.What an awesome family you have.It's great that you have such a loving and supportive family.

thatshot (0)    10:21 pm, 1 May


 547.      Hey Landylass thats so cool, and so funny...

          'cos that cousin of Brents I mentioned in 534 (shes actually Brent's cousins wife) is the same story! She contracted the same thing when about 18, had the works (chemo, radiation then more chemo), was told she could never have kids - they have 3 (naturally!)! Her eldest 2 were our Pageboy and flowergirl at our wedding :o)

soniat-d (153 )    10:22 pm, 1 May


 548.         is tomorrow the

          first of your higher doses Sonia?

landylass (47 )    10:25 pm, 1 May


 549.         hi guys

          have been reading the thread and my hairs raised on my back when you said 'pea' landylass. i have a pea in one of my boobs. I have had it for about 6 years and have had it checked by 3 different doctors. Its seems to be in the skin though and they all reckon its OK. I can actually grab it and feel all the way around it. What do you guys think? I just had it checked again 2 months ago. I do trust my doctor. She has never let me down so far...

treenie3 (201 )    10:26 pm, 1 May


 550.      Hee hee Thatshoot!

          Yep small world alright, big company though, I've met 2 others recently who also turned out to have worked for them! Hopefully your partner enjoyed working for them - most do ;o)

soniat-d (153 )    10:28 pm, 1 May


 551.         I hope so Landylass ;o)

          But knowing the Public system, they'll find some excuse to not be set up. They have to cut the mould, so don't know how long that takes. Trying not to go in with too high expectations!

soniat-d (153 )    10:31 pm, 1 May


 552.         so could you be having

          it private if you wanted to? That was the reason I opted public all the way as it appeared I had to do radiation public and the time frame was ok so I opted to stay public. Feel guilty sometimes when I hear of people on waiting lists as I had a choice and I sometimes think I probably knocked someone further down the list!

landylass (47 )    10:33 pm, 1 May


 553.      Sonia

          have been thinking of you and I KNOW you will beat it! Your positive mind will knock those hideous lumps for a six! Take care XXX

treenie3 (201 )    10:34 pm, 1 May


 554.         Hi Treeenie ;o)

          To be honest it does sound OK - it sounds like what I have on my spine - I panicked and thought it was cancer spreading, but 3 different docs have said same thing as yours "Ah, no its just a ........ (can't remember the name they use)". If it has grown at all, then be more concerned. But I'd get it mammogrammed or at least ultrasounded if you can, and maybe biopsied. I trusted my docs till recently too - now I tell them they stuffed up so now they're listening to me ;o)

soniat-d (153 )    10:36 pm, 1 May


 555.         Ah landylass, if there was a private option

          for radiation, believe me, I'd take it! I've been told there is only public. Hope I've been told correctly!?!

soniat-d (153 )    10:37 pm, 1 May


 556.         I have got to get off here...

          got to be at the hospital for blood tests tomorrow at 8.15am! Not holding my breath on getting my chemo this week. I just don't want them to delay to next week or I have my last dose 2 days before that wedding!

landylass (47 )    10:40 pm, 1 May


 557.         Thanks for that

          Sonia. It hasn't grown at all so i guess that it must be OK. i might ask for some further tests next time at the doc, just to be sure, after all it is our lifes they are dealing with. My friend who was diagnosed with BC last year got very 'toey' with her doctors as well. I told her that she had every right to, as it is her life. She was tired of waiting for people to get back to her, tired of waiting for treatment and tired of getting differing information. In the end she bipassed Waikato Hosp altogether and made out she was living in Auckland with her MIL just so she could get the treatment as nothing was happening very fast here. So far she is doing well, her hair is all back and she is starting to pick up the pieces of her life again...Take care Sonia and Landylass, will be thinking of you both this week.

treenie3 (201 )    10:47 pm, 1 May


 558.         Ok Sonia, well thanks for that...i am sure

          my friend has already asked questions shes fairly careful with her health, but like you say, it depends on the doctor...bloody health professionals! Anyway, will have a wee feel myself up sess tonight, haha...see if i can find it again, and discuss mammogram at my next clinical...ouch, does it hurt...ouch ouch ouch...and landylass...my melanoma was directly above the boob i found the lump in...oh dear...BUT, tis just a disaster of a scar that remains now...it had a small bump on one side which my ex noticed, I was stupid really, thought being olive skinned excluded me and thought it would be gone as soon as mole was excised...but it growth ended in my blood vessels of my reticular dermis, giving it options for travelling via blood...stupid stupid girl

fi77 (35 )    11:38 pm, 1 May


 559.         But...

          Yes there are few medical centre in oamaru...dont get me wrong i love my doctor and my mother actually works for him, so is difficult to be angry at him...but I did push the issue, I had seen a doco on melanoma on 13 june 2005 and call it spiritual, call it coincidence, i had a voice in my head, sweaty palms and no blood in my face, haha...i went white and I knew before they even spoke what they were discussing...it was very surreal...I just hope whatever made me turn the tv on at that time on a Monday morning, is still watching my back!... thanks Sonia, thanks landylass, thanks everyone...truely such a nice, safe place to communicate concerns...it has been so long since i felt safe talking to people and not feeling like they are summing up my mental state..haha...night guys...xx:]

fi77 (35 )    11:44 pm, 1 May


 560.         sonia

          my appointment isnt until 11.30 but i am sure i will be there early, i am sure they will get me in as i have to take my two little girls with me so the noise may make them rush me through, am going for a shower now

pomegal (91 )    9:21 am, 2 May


 561.         Good Morning everyone........

          Hope you are all feeling on top of the world today. I'm not. Its a dull rainy day here, so not going to do much. Just get caught right up with the house work so its all good when I get home again. Coming in to this message board and reading all this inspirational stuff makes me feel a whole lot better though. We all have very similar stories to tell about the mis-management of the health system, don't we?? Great to see new faces posting as well....hello to you all. Good luch pomegal for this morning...will be thinking of you too. Talk again later.

joystik (281 )    9:26 am, 2 May


 562.         Thinking of you all

          today guys. Bit gloomy here in Rotorua, and too warm to light the fire! Catch you later!

treenie3 (201 )    9:27 am, 2 May


 563.      Morning to all!

          Back to the top, can't have you lingering on page 3! Have a fabulous day Sonia and remember to take some time out for yourself :), Cheers Claire

cole2 (360 )    9:28 am, 2 May


 564.         morning all

          Just to say hi and hoping every thing goes well for you today.xx

boop2 (106 )    10:32 am, 2 May


 565.         Hi Guys ;o)

          Having a not-so-good day here. Firstly Emily lost it big time when I handed her over to Brent so I could get to my early radiation appointment - and my bookings are like that all this week! Tried to book later but no go, so frustrating, they just don't get how hard it is with wee kids - they need to be sttled and happy, well, at least my Emily does. Then, when trying to sort out better appointments for next week, realised the new treatment isn't starting till AFTER this current treatment is completed (mid next week). I just started crying then - so frustrated with Dr Benjamin, he's not discussing these important things with me and I have no choice to go along with his slack-arse plans which I can tell he thinks won't work anyway. Grrrr.... sorry had to vent :o/ Glad now I have the counselling session on Thursday!

soniat-d (153 )    12:29 pm, 2 May


 566.      Hi Pomegal I was thinking of you this morning

          Was tempted to pop into NSH and find you and give you a hug actually, as I was driving right past around then, but decided you might feel like I was a stalker LOL. How did it go? RUOK?

soniat-d (153 )    12:31 pm, 2 May


 567.      Hi fi77

          Ahhh, the beauty of hindsight eh?! No, you weren't stupid (or, if you were, so was I!). Noone expects this nightmare to happen to them - its perfectly natural ;o) ... How are you today?

soniat-d (153 )    12:34 pm, 2 May


 568.      Hi Joystick

          How are you today - 3 sleeps to go! 3 sleeps to go! (Am I right?!) Stay strong, I'm thinking of you and sending my best cyber hugs your way :o)

soniat-d (153 )    12:36 pm, 2 May


 569.         Thanks for the bumps ladies

          Must get Emily down for her nap now - more excuses for some cuddles :o)

soniat-d (153 )    12:37 pm, 2 May


 570.         Sonia Sweetheart

          the guns are still firing over here in Whakatane for you, they're blasting away stronger and louder than ever! Thinking of you always tho' dont know you, all the very best.

solarouge (46 )    12:38 pm, 2 May


 571.         I'm stalking sonia too solarouge!!

          Sonia - sorry to hear you had a crap start to the day :o( Kids are soooo good at making you feel like shite just by crying. Try to remember she's just acting up, she won't even remember doing it. I bet she didn't take too long to calm down once you were out of sight. I guess it's coz kids don't have the language skills to be able to articulate how they're feeling. Man, I sooo wish I lived near enough to help out with babysitting or driving you to appointments etc. Your girls could come over here and fight with mine over toys!! :o) It'd be great!

tishie (60 )    12:59 pm, 2 May


 572.      Thanks Solarouge! Thats awesome :o)

          And to you too tishie - yeah I know they can act up, the girls are getting more sensitive with all thats going on here, I've told Lydia whats happened but not Emily (she's a bit too young). They've worked it out on their own as visitors come, the girls hear all that's said and see me getting upset. Its not all an act (the look in her eyes is almost pure terror when she can tell I'm about to leave), they've been through a lot, but yes, I know they can play to me, I'm putty in their hands at the moment! Yeah, wish you were closer too Tishie! Would be cool :o)

soniat-d (153 )    1:10 pm, 2 May


 573.         Sonia..your specialist sounds about as empathetic

          and communicative as mine...they just end up making you feel silly for even asking the questions...I can remember the frustration and leaving thinking, aarrgghhh...they forget sometimes you also need to repeat questions or ask for further clarification or just might like to hear something coming out of their mouths while they are feeling you up...hahaha...I am actually a thousand times better today, back at work and 'stupid head' is heading up to welly for a new job...so although realising he has no particularly special feeling remaining for me is strange...it is kind of satisfying to be able to put a label on him..."nasty mean selfish loser"...Couldnt find my bump again, but I will be asking a few more questions at my next clinical...I just feel the clinicals are a waste of time??? My specialist makes me feel like a flippin farm animal, haha...strange the types that end up in this intimate, delicate profession...it requires a certain kind of person and yet anyone who's think their an intellectual can jump o

fi77 (35 )    1:13 pm, 2 May


 574.         on the band wagon!!! ...

          Its wrong...so wrong and all about people beleiving they are academic and selecting a profession that will pay the most...they should have to also pass a few papers on bedside manner and identifying with their patients...perhaps they should work a day on Shortland Street and learn to act...if for some reason they cannot pull of some sincere words in real life being who they are...aaarrgghh...i better go back to work...I hope your feeling better Sonia...chat later, Have a happy day everyone...xx:]

fi77 (35 )    1:18 pm, 2 May


 575.      Hi fi77

          I've just popped back, been doing some painting, always good therapy! Yep feeling calmer now, time to call my Breast Clinic nurse now (she left a message) see whats what and maybe discuss this blip with her. Back later ;o)

soniat-d (153 )    1:36 pm, 2 May


 576.         hiya sonia....have been following your threads

          but we to have been back in hospiatl so havent posted, what is your web addy please ive lost it.

bogeyi (482 )    1:38 pm, 2 May


 577.      Hi bogeyi

          Its in post #177 - we just realised its had over 300 visits in last few weeks - OMG!!!! Guess our private life is no longer LOL! Thinking must update it soon, may start on that in next few days...

soniat-d (153 )    1:44 pm, 2 May


 578.         Ohhhh.....Sonia, not a great way.....

          to start any day. The thing is these little people know a lot more abou whats going on than we think some times, dont they. And, like you say, they hear you talking and all that. I used to be a homebased caregiver for Barnardos, and it gaveme a great insight into the way children think, and how they interpret what they hear. Very fascinating. YES!! Only 3 more sleeps to go now. But, the nurse did upset me a bit yesterday when she said, ring on thursday afternoon just to make sure your surgery is going ahead. I said "No I'M Not going to" I'm just going to turn up and you'll have to do it, cos I wont leave til you have!!. But hopefully we wont need that drama. Glad wee Emily is feeling better too. You take care and take it easy for the rest of the day. Hugs to you too.

joystik (281 )    1:47 pm, 2 May


579.         Hi joystick

          I'd be interested to hear what you learned from your Barnados days! The Cancer Society told me I didn't have to tell them anything yet, but I had already talked to Lydia. Just a few days before this latest disaster I'd told her the treatment was almost over and everything was good and would soon return to normal. She gave me this huuuuge hugs and said "Thats so great Mama, you've been so brave". Such a sweetie :o) Anyway, felt I had to update her as the situation had changed. She took it very well and said she'd draw a picture for me to make me feel better :o) Last night she asked me what the "zapping machine looks like - does it look like a camera?" LOL

soniat-d (153 )    2:06 pm, 2 May


 580.         Hi Sonia

          you are one amazing person. I have been reading this thread since the day you started it and have finally picked up the courage to post in it. I have had a look at your website and all I could say was WOW the whole time i was looking at it - my hubby had to come and see what all the WOWs were about.

volksie (240 )    2:14 pm, 2 May


 581.         And to all the other posters

          that are here and to dear Sonia my thoughts are certainly with you all. I personally dont have BC but my Mum is very ill. She has had medical problems on and off for years now (she is 64) and March last year she got diagnosed with an inoperable brain tumour. This is to add to her over-active illeostomy, her feeding tube and her portacath which she needs as she has to have extra IV fluids 3-4 times a week because of the illeostomy.

volksie (240 )    2:17 pm, 2 May


 582.         and then 2 weeks ago

          they have found she is having heart problems. Especially the last year I have found out who my true friends are and believe me there is not many!! My Dad is still working full time so I do a lot for my Mum and now to top it all off my only brother flew out to Spain on Sunday to further his career, sorry had to just say all this to get it out.

volksie (240 )    2:21 pm, 2 May


583.      Hi Volksie - nice to hear from you :o)

          Sorry to hear about your mum, she's lucky to have you caring for her as you are :o) I can relate to how you feel about your brother flying out - my parents are being just plain wierd now - they receive my generic email updates to friends and family, describing whats going on, and reply "We're having a great time in Vancouver, going here, there, weather like this etc Love from Mum and Dad" (No "How are you getting on?" Oh well, glad they're having a nice time?!?!). Glad you liked the website - what were the WOW's about?!? LOL ;o)

soniat-d (153 )    2:27 pm, 2 May


 584.         Just got off the phone from my Breast Centre nurse

          She said my specialist would call me with the biopsy results (eeek) not sure when though. Excellent!?! She said so far all results are stable and specialist is happy, I just have to put up with the delays and "hope things are working" :o/ !!!

soniat-d (153 )    2:29 pm, 2 May


 585.         To Sonia

          I havent written on this thread before but have been following your additions constantly. I just wanted to thank you, also let you know I am thinking of you so often. I am going to make a sign with that quote about the sunshine and shadows falling behind, it is so special. In Oct our son was diagnosed with Leukaemia and you by sharing your story have enlightened me because you have the ability to verbalise your feelings I am able to step into his world and yours for a brief moment and imagine how it is to feel so yucky some days.He like you has an amazing attitude and every day is a blessing.I wish you all the best with your ongoing treatment and will be thinking of you and your beautiful family. Take care

paulaxx (75 )    2:39 pm, 2 May


 586.         afternoon all...

          had my bloods done this morning and all hooked up ready for chemo..... just let me have it please!!! Busy having a housework day today so haven't been in here. Got a call from Dunedin hospital this morning. Now need a ct scan so managed to juggle my next oncology appointment onto same day to save 2 trips in one week. Just as well as just realised my next trip to Dunedin was the day of daughters formal... so thats great, now I will be home to run her around. Aw Sonia, feel sorry for poor Emily. She just isn't old enough to understand but she knows mum keeps disappearing and is upset. You just keep on battling those medics Sonia! Don't let that Dr Benji get the better of you with his bedside manner. Joystik, thinking of you, and bumping for news of Pomegal.

landylass (47 )    3:53 pm, 2 May


587.         hiya peeps

          have had my mamagram again today only to be told the doc wasnt there so i couldnt get any answers to my so many questions, i did ask the lady doing the mamagram why i was called back and she only could say because i needed more slides done so they could read them again, she was taken back when i said that last time i was there i had two mamagrams a ultrasound and saw the specialist! so now i dont know what happens (i wait i suppose!) the mamagram showed very tiny calcifications (i think thats what she said) but i am no the wiser now so until i hear from the doc, sorry i havent got to read everyones post but my daughter started kindy last week 5 mornings so dont get as much time as i would like to catch up on this and a few other threads, keep smiling ladies

pomegal (91 )    3:55 pm, 2 May


 588.         Volksie...yes family can be the biggest surprise

          Its amazing actually...my family were pretty tight before my treatment...3 sisters all now more than 18 months apart...I have barely spoken to them for 9 months...it is difficult to not feel resentful, even my dear mother just assumed I would be tickity boo and heard from here rarely...You will be flipping ropeable at your brother, your there making the sacrifices and hes absconding from responsibility and remembering who ensured he was sheltered feed and for all his youth...some people have little between there ears when it comes to realising whats important in this world...wouldnt it be great to flit about like that, oblivious and self-fufilling...Your mum will remember your unwavering support and your brother has to live with himself...silly boy...

fi77 (35 )    5:55 pm, 2 May


 589.      Hi Paula :o) Thanks for posting!

          (I'm going to feel wierd when this thread tumbles down to oblivion LOL! so thanks for bumping and saying Hi) Thanks so much for everything you said, glad what I say helps :o) So sorry to hear about your son's battles, but the docs seem to really know what they're doing with leukemia (sp) don't they? Thats my perception anyway, that its horrible of course but most children win in the end? Hope so anyway. Have just come back in from an afternoon out with my girls - this is a happy home tonight (not that it isn't usually ;o). Off to cook the din dins now - bye for now :o)

soniat-d (153 )    6:00 pm, 2 May


 590.         What do you paint Sonia?...

          Whats your thing? I like coffee cups at present, painting them on canvas, sometime sunrises and sometimes seascapes...it can be quite awesome therapy in itself aye? Just so rewarding! Pleased your feeling better...actually spoke to cancer Society here in dunedin today, they are lovely, you are right, but I did actually do some stuff for them at the end of last year...a wee article in the paper for sunsmart week and a wee blib on TV3 news...I really just rung to find out what i should expect froma clinical and my specialist...I hate going and part of me hopes I can achieve the same stuff with my GP? not sure...I dont want to go to my next clinical as he's such a limp person to chat to and if I take friends he worse....go figure!

fi77 (35 )    6:01 pm, 2 May


 591.      Thanks

          You are an inspiration. We still have a long way to go with treatment (all up 3 years and 3 months )and there is an 80% success rate. Cup is definately half full. Take care and thanks so much.

paulaxx (75 )    6:41 pm, 2 May


 592.         Good luck to your son too....

          that is a long time for treatment but at least the outcome is positive.

landylass (47 )    7:22 pm, 2 May


 593.      Thanks landylass

          You are all in my thoughts. I admire you all. Take Care

paulaxx (75 )    7:25 pm, 2 May


 594.      Hi Paula :o)

          Do you mind telling me a bit about your son? How old is he and how far the treatment is he (I know you said not far). Man thats a long time all up. How often are the treatments within that? Is it all chemo? I'm so ignorant of Leukaemia but am very interested (understand if you'd rather not say). Does he feel really unwell? What are the symptoms? With me, with the chemo, I found out that painting was the best for me when feeling my worst - the concentration needed and the general distraction really made me feel better. I remember watching one of those ghastly Extreme Home Makeover shows and it was a girl with Leukaemia and she made necklaces and sold them for charity while she was unwell. Amazing girl... Anyway, I just thought I'd mention the crafts as a means of distraction thing, its amazing how it helps. At first I thought watching movies was the thing, but that just made me feel worse! Anyway, big cyber hugs to your courageous son - those are great odds, glad to see you seeing this all as a cup half full :

soniat-d (153 )    8:28 pm, 2 May


 595.      Cont'd...

          ...cup half full :o) Best wishes to you and your family ;o)

soniat-d (153 )    8:28 pm, 2 May


 596.      Hi fi77

          Well I'm not really a painter as such, I just like to make cute things for my girls rooms etc, paint tissue box covers, make mobiles, etc etc. Biggest ever was a dollhouse - put lots of detail into that. I get carried away LOL Anyway, latest completed project to give you an idea is Lydia's tissue box http://202.21.128.20/photoserver/34/21004334_full.jpg - as you see I just copy the wallpaper design. Looks OTT in this pic but in the overall room, its nice having a few things matching the wallpaper - its a huge room ;o) Anyway, thats all I do, nothing very Van Goghish LOL .... Current project was very simple painting large frame for corkboard for Lydia to pin her latest works of art on ;o) Back later

soniat-d (153 )    8:37 pm, 2 May


 597.         Thats lovely sonia..........

          you've made a beautiful job, and should be very proud of it. I am not the least bit arty i'm afraid. Probably more into the craft sort of stuff if anything. Used to do a bit of cross stitch and stuff but not done any for ages. Knitting feathers wool scarves last winter was the thing. I think my daughter has every colour there is!! Lauren is quite in to art, and is taking it as a subject at school this year. Actually she has just had an art test yesterday and got an Excellence, so she was pretty pleased with herself, and so were we. She must have inherited the art genes from her Dad.

joystik (281 )    9:53 pm, 2 May


 598.         Sorry to hear about your son Paula.........

          but sending you lots of love and best wishes to help him in his recovery. Its a pretty scary time isn't it. This is a great place to come for inspiration though. Our lovely sonia and landylass, kelsal,maewest, and heaps of others are all going through this and are happy to share their experiences with us all. They have all just been such a tower of support to me over the past almost 2 months since i was diagnosed. I don't know what I would dowithout them all. Take care and keep on fighting. I will be thinking of you.

joystik (281 )    9:59 pm, 2 May


 599.         bump......

          .......

joystik (281 )    10:00 pm, 2 May


 600.         mother (41)died of cancer...

          i remeber my first visit her in auckland hospital.i walked in room there were 5 other women of same age abouts as my mother. I immediately sensed these were 5 powerful women full of energy full of life strength, yet the monster they couldnt beat. My aroha and tears to all who watch the strength of their mother be eaten by this horrible 'thing'.

bigmojo (10 )    10:00 pm, 2 May


 601.         bump

          .

landylass (47 )    10:00 pm, 2 May


 602.         and another Hundred.....

          well done ladies.......

joystik (281 )    10:01 pm, 2 May


 603.         I will miss this thread ......

          while I'm away from Friday. I do enjoy popping in for a chat and catching up with you all each day. Off to bed now - not much sleep last night, hopefully more tonight. See you all tomorrow. Sweet dreams........

joystik (281 )    10:03 pm, 2 May


 604.         night guys...

          Will have a look at your art Sonia...its all art, doesnt matter if its painting or sticking or whatever...have a super day tomorrow guys, sleep tight:]xx

fi77 (35 )    11:09 pm, 2 May


605.      Awww Joystik re 598

          Yep my sentiments exactly! This MB has helped me so much through all this, I can so relate to what you're saying :o) Its funny when I was in the Cancer Society that other day and they were talking about support groups the first thing she mentioned was chat rooms and I thought "doing that already!" LOL How are you feeling as the day approaches, one less sleep ;o) Hope you sleep well tonight...

soniat-d (153 )    11:31 pm, 2 May


 606.         Love to Paula

          I just pray for your wee son. Sonia you seem to do so much don't you get tired? I loved your art work the colours all seem to blend in lovely. Take care.Good luck to all you other ladies keep feeling positive I am sure it helps.

boop2 (106 )    11:53 pm, 2 May


 607.         Morning Sonia and Ladies

          Firstly thank you to all who have given me you love and warm wishes. Thanks. See how special you are when going through something like this you still want to give. Josh is 8, he is my little miracle. I was told I couldnt have children, was getting ready for the fertility drugs and April Fools day found out I was carrying my Josh. I couldnt believe it. I was so big so quickly and he was 9lb 14oz born. He was so cruisy and such a delight mums boy!!! He seemed to bruise easily but so did I so didnt really worry. Sept 05 he looked a bit pale and had picked up a bug at school, he was lethargic and couldnt explain some of the bruises. I said to my husband I think Josh has got Leukaemia he freaked. Took him to the dr. Who phoned that afternoon with worry in his voice - our lives changed.Next day Dr said can you come in immediately and they gave us the news. Off to Invercargil then Christchurch for a month. I was in shock, went home ph'd people packed sorted our wee girl (then nearly 5). It was like a ni

paulaxx (75 )    9:04 am, 3 May


 608.         cont

          It was like a nightmare. In Christchurch finally we found out he had 96% leukaemia in his body. Started treatment straight away they put a picc line in his arm, central catheter to administer drugs etc. Poor kid used to freak with needles, so many blood tests. We were told of the treament options, chemo, oral, iv, intrathecal (into the spine) steroids, you know how it goes. one of the drugs had a nasty reaction.he seemed to change a little, it was still so early and I was alone in Christchurch with my wee girl too, but knew something was wrong. Sleeping in the hosp with Josh, Cassielle in the fold out bed in his room and me in a lazy boy. I just couldnt leave him! He suffered a major brain hemmorhage, and had a stroke. So that was late Oct, we were naturally shocked (again). We got back home for Josh's birthday so that was my dream.My daughter started school and I still had Josh with me at home. He was going every week to hosp for chemo, bloods etc now he is on a maintenance programme so he has bloods t

paulaxx (75 )    9:06 am, 3 May


 609.         Cont

          He has blood taken every couple of weeks and oral chemo every night, steroids for 5 days every three weeks, i.v chemo and intrathecal chemo. Pain killers for aching joints and muscles etc anti nausea when he needs it. His brain injury appears to be coming right, we thought we had lost him there for a while, he naturally just wasnt the same little boy, the clot will just leave a hole eventually, but he has shown us that the human body is an amazing thing and he continues to fight. Thanks for asking, happy to share, just dont want to intrude in your special thread. Hope you are feeling ok today. Take care

paulaxx (75 )    9:12 am, 3 May


 610.         (sobbing)

          Paulaxx, that is the most heartwrenching story. Every parent's nightmare. Huge hugs go out to you, your son and your family. I do hope he comes through okay. Children are so strong aren't they? And I hope and pray that you have heaps of great support around you. Thankyou so much for sharing.

ruthies (28 )    9:14 am, 3 May


 611.      Hi Paula

          Great to hear from you again ;o) I'm reading your story with great interest, thanks so much for sharing it - isn't it a pain the way TM cut the messages off!? Anyway, oh my goodness, what a nightmare for you and your son. I just can't imagine going through all that you've been through, and continuing on such a long rocky road. More from me later... I have to go in a mo for my treatment - Emily has been great this morning, asked to go with Daddy to take Lydia to school so sitting here watching out the window making sure I go before they get back!

soniat-d (153 )    9:15 am, 3 May


 612.         Oh Thanks so much

          Just to see him get on the school bus with his sister is amazing. Thanks you lovely people and I do have some support. My family is divided around NZ, they have been there for us when they could. so we are finding out just how wonderful communities and CCF etc are. xx

paulaxx (75 )    9:18 am, 3 May


 613.         Thanks Paula for sharing your story

          of your sons illness, and journey back to good health with us. It is just so sad to see children struck down in this way when they have their whole live ahead of them. Your pain must had been just indescribable at times, well probably most of the time. I will think of you every day now and wish you all the best of health and happiness for your whole family as you travel this winding road together. Love to you all.....

joystik (281 )    9:25 am, 3 May


 614.         Joystik

          Your words just bought a huge lump to my throat. Thank you for caring. I have to confess to having had such a busy 7 or so months and now seeing Josh go back to school, finding a sense of normaility again. I miss him! I have had to let go and trust he will be ok, its hard!!!! So thanks for being there. You are so kind

paulaxx (75 )    9:28 am, 3 May


 615.         soniat-d ..

          could you do a little bidding plz - i have something I wish to send you. xxx

manukarose1 (135 )    9:29 am, 3 May


 616.         Morning sonia and friends.....

          glad your day started better this morning. There have to be some wins along the way dont there. Had a really good sleep last night, but found myself very anxious as son as I woke up, and have cried almost ever since. Only 2 more sleeps and that anxiousness will be over hopefully. I rang my daughters form teacher at the college and asked her to look out for Lauren for me. She is a very brave girl and is seemingly taking all this very well, but I fear there might be a time in the next few days when she will break down, and it will probably be at school. She was very kind and just loves Lauren, so she will look out for her for me. Good for peace of mind. Must get busy now seeing as it is sunny again. See you later. Take care..

joystik (281 )    9:31 am, 3 May


 617.         paula

          i hope your baby gets well and joystik i amt hinking of you for next week hugs, hugs to all as well as this thread is very emotional and i am lost for words once again, hugs hugs hugs

pomegal (91 )    9:39 am, 3 May


 618.         Morning Joystik

          I posted on other thread looking for you this morning. Lauren will get thru this fine. Thats the only dam time I cried in my whole saga. Having to tell my kids. I never cried when I put miss16 on the plane to Germany but boy did I bawl my eyes out the night before surgery after I got off the phone to her . I kept thinking she was on the other side of the world if something happened to me. Kids are really resilient at that age & think everyone is indestructable!

landylass (47 )    9:41 am, 3 May


 619.         Thanks for that landylass....

          I'm sure thats true, and its much like what I told her form teacher. I said this is probably a big over reaction from me and you may not see any change in her, but I love her and care about her and want her to be safe and not hurting. She was very understanding. Lauren has been very brave and if I look like I am going to cry she gives me a hug and says, you will be fine mum, nothing bad will happen to you, cos I know!! I hope she is right!! She has always be one of those people with kind of spiritual stuff going on. She is definately an old spirit, that has been on earth before, and is very wise for her age. Some people wont be able to relate to that at all, but I believe its true. It can be quite uncanny, when we visit places, and although we have never been there, she has, and knows all about it. That can be the same with people too. Strange, but true. She was born on my mothers birthday, (7 years after mum died) and without ever hearing my Mother or seeing her she has done and said so many things ex

joystik (281 )    10:30 am, 3 May


 620.         Excactly as Mum would have or did....

          It can be quite un-nerving at times, tosay the least. On that note, I must go and iron. You enjoy your day.....

joystik (281 )    10:31 am, 3 May


621.         Gawd it seems all us

          cancer suffers are ironing. My pile is humungous as its been so wet and I hate ironing stuff out of the drier! Sonia was ironing last night too. I'm away to make a big pot of soup. Chemo hopefully tomorrow and I live on soup when I don't feel like eating.

landylass (47 )    11:00 am, 3 May


 622.      I'm back I'm back

          but sadly not for long... so much to say so little time...

soniat-d (153 )    11:31 am, 3 May


 623.      HI Paula ;o)

          Golly I'm lost for words, I so feel for you and your family. As a mother I can't imagine anything worse than what you are going through, watching your son suffer and feeling so helpless. I find it upsetting seeing the toys and bright pictures in my treatment room for the poor kiddies going through radiation. I asked the operators about it once, how the kids cope, and they said "They do really well, they just soldier on because they don't know any different". While I can see that point of view, I think by the time they get to your son's age, they obviously realise other kids aren't goint through the same, and must feel its so unfair. And it so is!!! Its wonderful that he's now going to school and taking it all in his stride. I hope the school and children embrace him and make him happy. Golly there's so much I want to say but feel like I'm rambling! Big hugs Paula (((((((()))))))) - hijack this thread anytime! After all, IMO this is a "Cancer sux" thread, not just a soniat-d thread LOL. Come on in - everyone w

soniat-d (153 )    11:39 am, 3 May


 624.      ....

          welcome ;o)

soniat-d (153 )    11:40 am, 3 May


 625.      LOL Landylass

          Yep, maybe visitors here will deduce that ironing gives you cancer LOL! Hope the chemo thing happens for you ;o) Have a great day. damen gotta go again pick up sweet Emily. Chiao for now ;o)

soniat-d (153 )    11:42 am, 3 May


 626.         Hope your ironing is all finished now......

          mine is. Just been to the plant centre and bought some lovely polyanthus to put along the front of the house to brighten things a little. Will put them in after lunch and give the lawn a little more time to dry out, before i get the mower into action. I made a big pot of soup last night...mainly pumpkin with bacon and onion and a packet of maggi cream of chicken soup mix in. It is so yummy and a big hit with my family, and in fact everyone else that has had it here too. I love soup especially at this time of year...its so easy ans quick. Hi Sonia...hope all is well for you too, and paula and in fact everyone that cares to pop in. I think about you all. See you again later.

joystik (281 )    11:49 am, 3 May


 627.         Yeah Being a mum

          and seeing Josh suffer has been the hardest thing I've ever had to do. It was hard to be the mum I wanted to with our daughter too. But you wonderful ladies who are parents are going through as much inner turmoil, I know you said Sonia your mind plays tricks on you well it sure does!!! i thought walking into the childrens cancer ward was hard, but once you get your head around the fact thats where you belong at the moment, you look at the beautiful faces of these darlings and they always smile, they take each day and every treatment. Its amazing how they just accept. Hard to believe our Josh wont finish treatment till he's just over 11 but there are a lot of cuddles kisses and smiles to help us take each minute. Thanks for listening/reading. I think about you all so often.

paulaxx (75 )    12:36 pm, 3 May


 628.         I am so not into ironing and not gonna start now..

          Tee hee. Love to you all

paulaxx (75 )    12:38 pm, 3 May


 629.         Wow, Paula,...thats an surreal story...

          I imagine you would feel pretty helpless at times, its so wrong that anyone gets this disease, let alone wee ones...just not right!! Warmest wishes to you and your family...:]

fi77 (35 )    12:57 pm, 3 May


630.         Hope your well today Sonia...

          I magine your having another busy one...it is good to keep busy though. have just shot home for lunch and thought I would send a wee hello out to everyone...hope everyones having a good day. Oh and by the way, phoned my doc and have all my histology being sent away for confirmation on correct follow up, just want a second opinion, apparently these guys in Aussie wrote the Melanoma Bible...so we will see, what recommendations they have.

fi77 (35 )    1:01 pm, 3 May


 631.         Thats great to have done

          fi77. Hope it gives you some peace of mind.

landylass (47 )    1:06 pm, 3 May


 632.         HI Paula ;o)

          Back again for a mo, yes busy busy again today! I can totally identify with the worrying about being a good mum to your daughter when dealing with all that you are, worrying that she thinks her brother's getting all the attention, etc etc. I'm sure she just accepts it as the new reality too, just as your son does. I'm sure you're doing a fabulous job ;o) I find the current situation for me bizarre, wanting to spend so much time with my girls, but at times being either too sick/tired or away at appointments etc. They're having their rests now (1/2 school day for Lydia today) Em's asleep and Lydias watching the new Narnia DVD - her dad just finished reading the book to her finally last night so she was hanging out to finally see the movie. Best get back soon to make sure its not scaring her ;o)

soniat-d (153 )    1:58 pm, 3 May


 633.      Hi having a good day today

          Have to tidy the house now, Lydia has a friend coming after school tomorrow - thats always an incentive to get tidying LOL I've come to terms with the second treatment not starting till after the first, found out today thats next wednesday - yep almost at the end of this original treatment, finishes Tuesday. 25 new blasts in the new treatment starting next week, so that means about another 5 weeks to go of radiation.

soniat-d (153 )    2:00 pm, 3 May


 634.         Hi Manukarose :o)

          Wow, how awesome are you? You've made my day (week, month... ;o)! Thanks so much! Can't find the words really - yep soniat-d is speechless LOL! Are my clues enough or would you prefer I do the buy now thing?

soniat-d (153 )    2:03 pm, 3 May


 635.         Special hi also to boop2

          Thanks for that! Yes, I'm known for never sitting down LOL, no time for such creativity now with this radiation - lose all my mornings just driving, finding parks and waiting in waiting rooms etc. The house has gone to the pack! Arrgh! OK, OK I'm off now to sort it, really I am ;o)

soniat-d (153 )    2:07 pm, 3 May


 636.         Hi sonia how are you today

          wow paula what a story i can to relate to that we to are with starship for my 8yr old had his transplant at 7, his life has been hospitals, countless needles and hurt we had a good run for 3 months nad now are back in a very rocky patch, what amazes me whenever he is asked how are you the same answer GOOD and he can be rotten, he has taught many people in his journey and im sure will teach many more, i dont know where the kids get there strenght but they truly are amazing.

bogeyi (482 )    2:11 pm, 3 May


 637.         Hi Paula thank god Josh is on the

          road to recovery your story so upset me what some parents have to bare.I lost a son at 35 you don't expect that. Sonia take it easy and just keep sploshing paint around if it helps. Love to lanylass as well . Hugs to you all I hope my hugs are reaching you.

boop2 (106 )    2:43 pm, 3 May


 638.         Hi everyone :o)

          I am in awe of the new friends I have made through this thread. You have all touched my life with your stories and now you are reaching out to me with strength I am sure some of you need for yourselves. Sonia, you are an amazing lady, I could tell by looking at your photo. YOUR doing a wonderful job! Boop2 thanks we are on the road, might get a bit rocky but we are on it!!!Sorry for your loss.:( Bogeyi I feel for you! I hope each day improves for you, I am thinking of you too.Fi77 all the best and warmest wishes to you too. I hope I didnt forget anyone. I am off to meet the bus now and see both my angels smiles. Yay thanks again xx

paulaxx (75 )    3:05 pm, 3 May


 639.         Sonia

          Hi :o). Glad you are having a good day. Love the painting by the way.

paulaxx (75 )    3:44 pm, 3 May


 640.         Bogeyi

          How are you coping? Transplant was it Bone Marrow? hows your day been? Thinking of you. Like your son, Josh ALWAYS has the same answer - good thank you, with a nod of his head. Hang in there

paulaxx (75 )    3:54 pm, 3 May


 641.         we are doing ok..yes bone marrow transplant

          all was going well engrafted well had 3 months of being really well then about 3 weeks ago routine bloods and had platelets of 16 HGB 70 neut none, what a blow i felt like vomiting as this is where he was before transplant they think he has lost his graft.We had a bone marrow aspiration and it took 3 weeks to get results(longest 3 weeks of my life) as we needed DNA as the donor was my youngest son, Ryan has 21% of Tylers marrow not great i thought but docs said still good better than none at all, so now we are waiting to see if its another transplant I hope not as the body dosent cope to well with more than one, one is hard enough let alone having to do it again.

bogeyi (482 )    4:02 pm, 3 May


 642.         Oh man - bogeyi

          Thats hard news to take. You poor things, Its just such a roller coaster isnt it. Just when you feel life is starting to get okish - you get this! I hope you are managing to get some sleep. I have just about stopped asking for blood results now - sometimes I dont want to know! (I know they will tell me if things arent so good) Are you dealing with AML or ALL? Thinking of you. Josh is having a lot of pain at the moment in one ankle, the weak side from his stroke. I worry its not something more than just a strain. Please know I am thinking of you - sending you strength and hugs

paulaxx (75 )    4:09 pm, 3 May


 643.         Aw bogey that is a blow...

          I was following your story when I was first diagnosed and it gave me real inspiration... if Ryan could cope with all this who was I to moan over doing Chemo. These kids just amaze me. Good luck to Ryan and Josh too.

landylass (47 )    5:07 pm, 3 May


 644.         Landylass

          Thanks, we are thinking of you. Josh thanks you too, I tell him about all the lovely people on here who are going through similar. I know it helps when I tell him you all care. :o)

paulaxx (75 )    5:49 pm, 3 May


 645.         hiya landylass how are you?

          paula ryan has a rare blood disorder if you want you can check his site www.caringbridge.org/ak/ryan sorry sonia dont want to hijack your thread.

bogeyi (482 )    7:22 pm, 3 May


 646.         bogeyi

          Wow, what an awesome site. Just loved the photos, seeing your album makes me appreciate just what you guys have been through. What a beautiful young man. Hang in there you are in my thoughts. Nanite

paulaxx (75 )    8:01 pm, 3 May


 647.         Hi ladies.......I have been reading through

          all these messages from today, and all I want to do is cry and cry for you dear little children. Bogeyi, you site is just lovely and you little boy is gorgeous. I just want you to know that I will be thinking of you all every day and can only wish for you continued improvements in the health of your boys. Sending love and big hugs to you all.

joystik (281 )    8:43 pm, 3 May


 648.         Hope all the ironing is done......

          so we can all have a more exciting day tomorrow...Got all my lawns finished, weeded my lavender garden,(which is flowering beautifully)planted pansy's and polyanthus. So i'm happy now, and can go off to hospital on friday knowing its all done.

joystik (281 )    8:47 pm, 3 May


 649.         thanks joystik and paula

          he gets his looks from his mum.lol

bogeyi (482 )    8:48 pm, 3 May


 650.         Hi joystik

          you have had a busy day! Just wondering how you are coping now its getting close. Thinking of you lots.

landylass (47 )    9:01 pm, 3 May


651.         I just want all this behind me....

          so I can get on with what ever is coming my way next. Its all too much at times, but I have lots of support from all you ladies out there as well as closer at hand here, so I will be fine. Didn't know a person could cry so much though!! I cried until my throat hurt this morning...It was dreadful. But I'm just fine now. Thanks so much for caring, all of you. I care back.

joystik (281 )    9:09 pm, 3 May


 652.         Joystik we will all be

          thinking of you on Friday and looking forward to knowing you are home and on the mend. Just wishing you heaps of best wishes for Friday and hoping they don't muck you around anymore. I don't know Invercargill hospital but presume its quite big. Do you know what ward you will be on?

landylass (47 )    9:24 pm, 3 May


 653.         Hi Sonia, and all the other lovely ladies

          who have joined this thread. Have just been catching up on the last few pages, and the tears are falling. Newsflash - ironing definately doesn't cause cancer. What does an iron look like?!! I don't do ironing, but I've had cancer. I can so relate to all the feelings being expressed. I know how you feel and I understand those feelings. I just hope you're all as lucky as I have been. Mine had been growing for 2 years before someone believed me that something was not right. Just wanted to say to you all ' Walk this day in peace and in the warmth of the sun and know that you were in someone's thoughts.' God Bless.

deekayem (314 )    9:31 pm, 3 May


 654.      Hi everyone

          My, I see it's been another busy day on here - great to see your site agin bogeyi, Ryan's hair is growing back so well, he certainly is a charmer! You can tell him my hair's still not fit for public display LOL! But seriously, as others have said above, my heart breaks for you and Paula's sons, the monster always seems to go for the precious ones...wish I knew why, its just not fair!?! Ryans smile still shows strength in the face of adversity. Be strong boys, fight the fight and keep on smiling :o) Big hugs to you both from me, you make me feel humble.

soniat-d (153 )    10:01 pm, 3 May


 655.         Thanks for your warm thoughts .......

          and support. There are a lot of happy endings out there, but at times it is hard to see past the other bad stuff. Pleased you are well now, and i hope soon I will be too.

joystik (281 )    10:02 pm, 3 May


 656.         Not sure which ward Landylass......

          Its the first floor, thats all I know, and surgical of course. If I remember to ask when I ring tomorrow, I will post it on here for you. Just wish I could take this with me but don't think they would provide an internet connection would they??? Maybe they have an internet station there for people that are addicted, to use so they dont suffer too much withdrawl.

joystik (281 )    10:06 pm, 3 May


 657.         Tell them you need some

          extra painkillers to get over your addiction!

landylass (47 )    10:07 pm, 3 May


 658.         sonia he hates his curly hair, all the ladies

          comment on his curls and touch it much to his displeasure, he prefered his straight hair as it could spike it up.

bogeyi (482 )    10:11 pm, 3 May


 659.      LOL bogeyi ;o)

          Mines growing back curly too! Damn shame thats not in vogue nowadays! Yep I remember you saying that a few months back, hoping he was happier about it now! It may change a bit later on, I've heard it does that ;o)

soniat-d (153 )    10:14 pm, 3 May


 660.         Hi again Joystick

          Best I can say is hang in there, it will get better, its healthy to cry it out but try and hang onto the positive vibes, trust me, you will feel HEAPS better afterwards, mentally, knowing the beastie's out. Is that whats bothering you most? Or the surgery???

soniat-d (153 )    10:16 pm, 3 May


661.         yep i heard it does go back to original

          after a few cuts.

bogeyi (482 )    10:16 pm, 3 May


 662.         The whole thing really sonia........

          just want the surgery over with so I can see its not that bad. And too know what we are dealing with and what else is in store for me over the next how ever long. The Operation its self doesnt really bother me, but the word CANCER certainly does. I'm sure you will be able to identify with that. See ya tomorrow.

joystik (281 )    10:27 pm, 3 May


 663.         Oh well, I'm off again now #sigh#

          Lydia's got her new friend (Ella)coming to visit after school tomorrow, and when I collected her today she said she'd told Ella that I was going to make them chocolate muffins for tomorrow! The look on Ella's face was priceless so I relented and said yes LOL Think Lydia had that planned all along!!! Have to make them now, as all tomorrow booked out (radiation, then counselling @ Cancer Society). Bye for now :o)

soniat-d (153 )    10:29 pm, 3 May


 664.         Fair enough Joystick ;o)

          Yep that first week after the op when all the test results are coming in is a bit of a rollercoaster - we'll be praying for a good outcome for you. All the best :o)

soniat-d (153 )    10:31 pm, 3 May


 665.         Goodluck Joystick....remember to tell them you

          get travel sickness at your pre-op...I have watched others wake up from anaethetsic spewing and a good friend told me to mention I get travel sickness and I woke up,witnessing many spewing...but NOT me!! Ensure you push the buzzer willy nilly and get all the pills and pain relief you can and if your blood pressure arm thingys annoying you, dont take it off just loosen it...I keep ripping mine off and dumping it on the floor but they watch for readings at the reception, I think, and appeared to know i was ripping mine off...haha...take your favourite pillow case and put it on your pillow instead off hospital ones, you will feel much nicer...oh and take a packet of eta uppercuts, sea salt and herb...I scoffed a whole bag nearly as soon as i woke up, was starving!...all the best and warmest wishes to you, will be thinking of you:]...Night everyone, sweetdreams...

fi77 (35 )    10:46 pm, 3 May


 666.      Nite nite Sonia

          Sleep well and dream of a better tomorrow :)

rohab (30 )    10:49 pm, 3 May


 667.         Ryan is lovely

          Good luck joystick. Hi Sonia and everyone I will be away till tuesday so wish you all well will be thinking of you all. Take care & hugs.

boop2 (106 )    11:13 pm, 3 May


 668.      Morning Sonia,

          Just popping in to say "good morning" and to wish you a lovely day and the same to all the who visit this thread. Wishing all strength, you're not alone in the fight with cancer! Have a great day everyone.

cole2 (360 )    8:16 am, 4 May


 669.      Cheers Cole ;o)

          Just popping in quickly, have a full-on day today, so may not get in here much, but so appreciate all the support. My (((((hugs))))) go out to other cancer battlers - we WILL win! Emily happy today so thats a wonderful start :o)

soniat-d (153 )    8:39 am, 4 May


 670.         Morning fi77, boop2, sonia, landylass and

          everyone else who comes in to see us all every day. Thanks for your love and support, its all good and something I appreciate very much as I face the biggie tomorrow. I really look forward to when this is all over and life can be normal again, but in the mean time I will battle and I WILL WIN! Love and big (((HUGS))) to you all.

joystik (281 )    9:03 am, 4 May


 671.         Good Morning Love & Healing thoughts to you all

          Just thought it might be nice to show you a few pics of my family since you have all been so kind and supportive. Never done this before so here goes... http://i50.photobucket.com/albums/f337/riddle1/JoshOct2005RonaldMcDonaldHouse.jpg http://i50.photobucket.com/albums/f337/riddle1/Cassie.jpg http://i50.photobucket.com/albums/f337/riddle1/Portacath13-2-06.jpg http://i50.photobucket.com/albums/f337/riddle1/JoshinChristchurch.jp g http://i50.photobucket.com/albums/f337/riddle1/100_0246.jpg http://i50.photobucket.com/albums/f337/riddle1/Me.jpg http://i50.photobucket.com/albums/f337/riddle1/OurCassielle.jpg http://i50.photobucket.com/albums/f337/riddle1/Dadandhiskids.jpg Have a good day, bestest wishes x

paulaxx (75 )    9:19 am, 4 May


 672.         Whoops

          Sorry one of the links needs the jpg at the end together. The g went funny. Enjoy the photos - hope they dont make anyone feel sad that wasnt my intention :o)

paulaxx (75 )    9:23 am, 4 May


 673.         We just had a AGM for CCF

          in Queenstown and we got to do some pretty special things, here are a couple more of us on the Gondolas, Josh sitting on the Earnslaw with the sun shining thru his ears lol, we had a fun time. Thanks for looking http://i50.photobucket.com/albums/f337/riddle1/OurJosh.jpg http://i50.photobucket.com/albums/f337/riddle1/d07f6542.jpg http://i50.photobucket.com/albums/f337/riddle1/c9e68ec3.jpg

paulaxx (75 )    9:29 am, 4 May


 674.         you have a lovely family

          paula

bogeyi (482 )    9:33 am, 4 May


 675.         Thanks bogeyi

          I reckon too!! :o)

paulaxx (75 )    9:37 am, 4 May


 676.         What lovely photos of your family Paula....

          We just went to Queenstown at easter and went to Walter Peak for lunch on the Earnslaw. It is such a beaut trip isnt it. We do that quite often actually, and went there for Christmas dinner last Christmas,just beautiful. Thanks so much for sharing your family with us. Its kinda like one big family here isn't it. Love and best wishes to you all.

joystik (281 )    10:24 am, 4 May


677.         Getting too far down..........

          Bump........

joystik (281 )    11:41 am, 4 May


 678.      Just popped back in for a moment

          and couldn't resist seeing all the photos! What a stunning looking family you are, glad to see Josh smiling in the last pics :o) My that poor kid has really had a rough time - the pics say it all. Thanks for sharing them Paula, big hugs to you and you family and an especially big one to Josh :o) :o) :o) :o)

soniat-d (153 )    12:19 pm, 4 May


 679.         Hi joystik and Sonia

          Thanks. Just got some more photos developed - dont worry wont post them on here tee hee. I forgot what was on the film, they were photos of Josh days before his diagnosis. Then his very first days in hospital, needless to say I needed the tissues close. Still we are moving on in life arent we!!! So onward and upward. Ahh life is interesting, who said they only give you what you can handle, mmmm. Somedays I wonder. Lots a love xxx Yes Queenstown is so lovely. Have a nice afternoon to you all

paulaxx (75 )    12:29 pm, 4 May


 680.         They are lovely photos!

          I am glad I took quite a few of various stages [my daughter was overseas and I took them to email her] and now its great to look back and think wow that seems like ages ago even though its only a few months. Seeing those photos of the luge makes me want to go back to Queenstown. I am just a big kid at heart and love that ride!

landylass (47 )    1:46 pm, 4 May


 681.         Hi Sonia

          glad Emily is happier today... sure must make life easier for you. Poor wee mite it must be hard for her to understand everything that is going on and kids pick up the vibes when you are not having a good day. Got my chemo this morning so I am happy. Blood counts still a bit below normal but better than they were before last round.

landylass (47 )    1:48 pm, 4 May


 682.      Hi Landylass :o)

          Well thats great news you managed to get another one under your belt :o) I had sessions where my bloods were like that - no worries, they recover before the full effects of chemo round hits I always found ;o) Fingers crossed the next few days go well for you ;o)

soniat-d (153 )    4:05 pm, 4 May


 683.      See ya sonia, paula, and everyone.........

          i'm first on the list in the morning.....have to be there at 7.15 which is like the middle of the night to me. But pleased that its happening this time. Thanks for caring so much about me, and I will see you all again just after the weekend. You all enjoy your weekend, in the sunshine (if you're lucky) and take good care of yourselves and the little people in your lives. Big hugs and lots of love to you all.....Bye...

joystik (281 )    4:09 pm, 4 May


 684.         joystik

          Will be thinking of you all the best. Love and hugs Paula

paulaxx (75 )    4:24 pm, 4 May


685.         All the best Joystik,

          that wee beast will soon be gone! ((((( big hugs)))))

landylass (47 )    4:45 pm, 4 May


 686.         re: anaesthetic vomiting.

          I vomited many years ago, and thought anaesthetics had surely improved by now, but my sister was so bad after a minor procedure she was admitted for the day. I told my doctor this at my pre-op recently and he read her file. He said that knowing that helped and he could give me something to prevent it. I woke feeling absolutely fine, but decided to forgo the cup of tea in case it came up.

donnabeth (66 )    4:56 pm, 4 May


 687.      Best wishes to you Joystick

          Great that its first thing in the morning, don't have to sit around all day waiting for it like I did ;o) Just remember to demand more pain relief, anti-vomiting meds if you need it (I needed both LOL) and just take care of you. See you back here monster-free sometime soon :o)

soniat-d (153 )    5:42 pm, 4 May


 688.      Hey soniat....

          How goes it? Haven't read everything as it's really long... Sorry to hear of your news... My mum had very similar in November - only she was sent a letter by mistake.Yep that's right wasn't meant for her... Cancer back in the liver this time - apparently not that unusal. Only they aren't going to operate just watch... Mum's doing well - she just gets on with life - a real inspiration to us all. So we watch and wait also... Your right cancer really sux and I (for one) will be taking your advice re the mamio - booking all my checkups real soon (as soon as the lad has his court case on Tuesday).... All the best! Take care of you and your lovely family... Same goes to everyone else on here who are going thru similar things... Cheers!

megang (96 )    7:32 pm, 4 May


 689.         just bumping up...

          Yuk kicked in mid afternoon but feeling better tonight once got more meds into me. Off to bed to read Phil Kerslake book which I managed to borrow off Cancer Soc. In for a long night tonight as blood sugars are thru the roof again so will be setting the alarm to test every 2-3 hours. I have cut back the steroid doing it but they have been worse since on the new chemo and slower to go down after I get off the meds so now wondering if the chemo drug is having an effect too.

landylass (47 )    9:25 pm, 4 May


 690.      Landylass

          I hope you have a good nights sleep and feel better tomorrow. I guess knowing you have to do your finger pricks?? wont make for a very restful night. Hang in there you are all doing a wonderful job. p.s steroids arent that great are they but I guess in the big scheme they help.Keep up the good work. Nanite

paulaxx (75 )    10:07 pm, 4 May


 691.         a little bump to the top ...

          this thread doesn't deserve to be on PAGE THREE! xxx

manukarose1 (135 )    9:31 am, 5 May


 692.      thanx manukarose1

          I was looking... (((hugs to all the brave people in the thread))) Have a great weekend... and to sonia, I think of you often. How is the awesome new desk working out... that is truely a work of art...

joybells63 (1095 )    9:34 am, 5 May


 693.      Hi Guys :o)

          Thanks for the bumps! Got in early at radiation today so back already! Came back here to slather the area with aqueous cream as its getting RED! Bumped into an old chemo buddy there this morning and had a good chat so that was nice :o) Will be back in here this afternoon - must go now and take the opportunity to have some retail therapy while kid-free LOL. New Desk is AWESOME Joybells Love it love it love it! The funniest thing is getting used to a solid desk - my keyboard no longer bounces as I type LOL!!! Takes quite some getting used to ;o) Next on list is to finish clearing old desk, get rid of that and get some new curtains (sold previous nursery curatins on TM (this room used to be the nursery ;o)

soniat-d (153 )    10:01 am, 5 May


694.      PS Thanks again Manukarose :o)

          You're a wonderful person :o)

soniat-d (153 )    10:09 am, 5 May


 695.      go check out her listing sonia...

          that is one awesome piece....

joybells63 (1095 )    10:18 am, 5 May


 696.         Did I miss it???

          :o/ ?!!!!

soniat-d (153 )    12:40 pm, 5 May


 697.         Afternoon all...

          hehe I think I went out in sympathy last night with Joystik. Went to bed early and was still awake at 4am! Blood sugars have stayed down this time so can't even blame that! Mr 14 decided to make bread before he went to bed last night. I watched him. At 3am I was sitting in the lounge reading and I could smell yeast. Had a look at bread and it was kneaded and stunk of yeast. Reaslied I stood there and watched him moan about having trouble getting the measuring spoon in the yeast jar. Yeap I stood there and let him put 3 Tablespoons instead of teaspoons!!!! Chemo brain eh! Threw it out and put another one on rapid bake so it was ready for breakfast. What a nice mess that could have been. Knackered today, went back to bed this morning but phone went. Also got Mr14 home threatening to throw up.

landylass (47 )    1:18 pm, 5 May


 698.         Oh dear Landylass thats no good (lack of sleep)

          Hope you're off to have a kip now then. I am ;o)

soniat-d (153 )    1:22 pm, 5 May


 699.         Hi Megang

          Thanks for posting - hope things are well with you and your Mum. I'm feeling good today thanks - my current situation is, current radiation treatment almost complete (last one this coming Monday) then I have a day off, then Wednesday I start a new lot of radiation for expanded area to cover lumps missed by first treatment (which was planned thinking there were no lumps). So another 6 weeks of radiation... then 2 weeks after that I have another CT scan to see "whats what". What we'll hope to see is no new tumors, existing ones shrunk a bit. Then operation. Then maybe chemo? Depends on biospy results STILL not in.

soniat-d (153 )    1:27 pm, 5 May


 700.         Another hundee ;o)

          Woohoo! Thanks guys for all your interest and kind thoughts and words :o)

soniat-d (153 )    1:28 pm, 5 May


701.            Hello Lovely ladies

          Well Mum Has her first appointment with Dr Benji next Wednesday so I have forewarned her as forewarned is forearmed as to his bed side manner. She had her Hormone oncologist meeting last wednesday and will have started those now (Tamoxopan sp) And you will be pleased to know I have booked in the mammogram I have been putting off and will be having that at Mercy next Friday, I figure I wanted the first one to be with them and then I will see how I feel about the breast screening programme for the next one. With Mums history I will be on yearly mammograms from now on. So I hope anyone reading this inspirational thread regardless of age gets a mammogram, mine will be with southern cross but would have found the money somewhere if I didn't have health insurance. So take care ladies and good luck for the next steps in your journey to recovery and beating the monster!

toadfish (860 )    2:47 pm, 5 May


 702.            Hello

          Well this weekend is a big one for those of you with husbands like mine that hunt. I am NOT gonna stay home and keep the meals etc coming this time, my daughter and I are going out to do girly things. So I am thinking of you all constantly, always with healing in mind. lots a love and hang in there xxx

paulaxx (75 )    3:06 pm, 5 May


 703.            hello everyone, hope everybody is doing ok

          ryan had platelets today and is doing ok, tomorrow the local fire brigade is going to pick him up and is spending the day with them at the sky tower for the skycity challenge where they run up the stairs in full gear to raise money for lukemeia (sp) and blood services....should be good fun.

bogeyi (482 )    3:08 pm, 5 May


 704.            aw bogey that will

          be so much fun for him. Great about his tests too.

landylass (47 )    3:50 pm, 5 May


 705.            I've ended up sending a parcel

          to her home address - couldn't get anything down from here before Monday, was worried she may check out before it arrives! Anyway, how are you feeling now Landylass???

soniat-d (153 )    5:00 pm, 5 May


 706.       WHOOPS!!!

          Wrong thread!!!!! LOL

soniat-d (153 )    5:01 pm, 5 May


 707.         Thats very cool bogeyi

          What time is that happening? Will see if we can get in to see it. Is our Wedding Anniversary though, so have plans in the morning...

soniat-d (153 )    5:55 pm, 5 May


 708.            Hubby home and no tea

          on... I was out to count having a snooze! Hope you doing something special for your anniversary Sonia. I had chemo day of mine so missed out. Step son having reception at same place we had ours so I have suggested we all go out for a meal there before their wedding in June. I never need a excuse to eat out!!!!

landylass (47 )    6:53 pm, 5 May


 709.         We're just heading off for a big night out

          tonight with our lovely friends - so celebrating a day early! Brunch tomorrow morning just Brent and me and tomorrow night go out with the girls for a family dinner ;o) CU later :o)

soniat-d (153 )    7:03 pm, 5 May


 710.            ENJOY

          .

landylass (47 )    7:06 pm, 5 May


 711.         bump

          moving this to a better position....*hugs* to all

trishm (34 )    9:27 pm, 5 May


 712.            Hi...

          Just hoping everyone has had a lovely day. Take care x

paulaxx (75 )    9:28 pm, 5 May


 713.            got the news

          back today from my partner's bloodtests & he has no obvious signs of cancer from blood test results, still have to go for the ultrasound thou. waiting for the appointment to arrive!!

angel361 (0)    9:54 pm, 5 May


 714.            Thats positive

          and good luck with the rest!

landylass (47 )    9:58 pm, 5 May


 715.         Hi there all

          We just got back from a fun night out with our dearest pals - off to crawl into bed now! Feeling very tired and shooting pains in radiation site so definately time to call itb a night!

soniat-d (153 )    12:16 am, 6 May


 716.            Goodnight Soniat-d

          Wishing you a pain-free and restful night's sleep. I know we've never met, but you sound like such an amazing woman. You're an inspiration to me. God Bless.

ruthies (28 )    12:18 am, 6 May


 717.            Just found out today...

          that my brother has terminal stomach cancer and will be dead in 2 months. Spent most of the day on remote control. He is quite calm about it. Just tidy up his affairs and come home to die.

deraz (85 )    12:23 am, 6 May


 718.            Aaawww deraz

          I'm dreadfully sorry to hear that. You have my heartfelt sympathy. I hope you have plenty of love and support around you. (big hugs)

ruthies (28 )    12:25 am, 6 May


 719.            Thanks for that ruthies...

          I've just come off the night shift and told hubby, who won't remember a word I said. I talked with my two sisters by phone before I went to work, but we can't do much at the moment until he comes back to New Zealand.

deraz (85 )    12:35 am, 6 May


 720.            He's abroad??

          Will he come home? You must be beside yourself. I would be.

ruthies (28 )    12:37 am, 6 May


 721.            He has lived in...

          Australia for 20 years and wants to be buried next to our father on the family farm. (we have a family grave yard) Five generations are buried there and our children will be the 6th. That's what I mean, everything is just like numb and this is what must be done and we will do it. I will probably feel it more emotionally when I see him.

deraz (85 )    12:49 am, 6 May


 722.            hi deraz

          Please make sure, when he arrives in NZ to go for a second opinion. My Daughters workmate was given a few months to live, the cancer had spread. After a second opinion from a specialist and treatment, two years later she is in remission and back at work.

kelsall (222 )    6:44 am, 6 May


 723.            Oh Deraz, I'm very sorry to hear that

          As Kelsall said, definately get a second opinion and tell your brother to Fight! Fight! Fight! When you first hear the word "cancer" at your diagnosis you immediately think "That's it, I'm going to die" but it really doesn't have to be that way. Ask questions. Challenge the system. See what can be done. Best of luck to you, your brother and family.

soniat-d (153 )    9:59 am, 6 May


 724.            Thanks Ruthies :o)

          Thanks for saying that ;o) I went out like a light and we had a big sleep in this morning (wink wink) and we're now off to spend the morning together before we pick up the girls. Going to make a real day of it ;o) Morning all :o)

soniat-d (153 )    10:02 am, 6 May


 725.            My Dad battled the monster

          thirty years ago - and slayed the bast&*d. May you be as successful as he was!

marsnvenus (566 )    10:05 am, 6 May


 726.            Glad you had a great night out

          Sonia... time you had a bright spot in your life.

landylass (47 )    10:27 am, 6 May


 727.            Big hugs deraz...

          not the kind of news anyone wants to hear. Lets hope he can fight it, but if they are right, that you all get lots of time to spend together in those last few months.

landylass (47 )    10:29 am, 6 May


 728.            HAPPY ANNIVERSARY SONIA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

          Enjoy your day :o)

tishie (60 )    10:36 am, 6 May


                   Removed

          This member has been disabled.

missbehave (30 )    12:14 pm, 6 May


 730.            Good Luck

          Have a great day!!!

kiwipingu (9 )    12:42 pm, 6 May


 731.            tell all sonia....

          did hubby buy you something nice????

landylass (47 )    1:02 pm, 6 May


 732.            Hi guys - thanks for that!

          We bought ourselves things together Landylass ;o) (Although Brent gave me a card with Australian sugar packet inside (sugar being 6th anniversary and me being an Aussie LOL). This morning we bought 2 nice new matching desklamps for the famous desk LOL (lighting me up now), brought home possible side table lamp for the bedroom, and got curtain samples for the study. Good thing is we like the same things, so it was all easy ;o) Nice productive morning... Then brunch at Northcote Point watching planes doing flyovers over the harbour for the boatracing. Girls about to be delivered home, so off to give them big cuddles!

soniat-d (153 )    1:10 pm, 6 May


 733.            Thats great Sonia....

          the sugar was a nice gesture!

landylass (47 )    1:27 pm, 6 May


 734.            hey sonia...brent's a year ahead of himself:

          http://www.weddingtips.com/annv.html the 7th wedding anniversary is "desk sets" LOL!! I feel ripped off now. My 5th wedding anniversary was in January and Hud didn't make me any new wooden furniture! I shall have words with him when he gets home from work! LOL!!! I'll send him straight back out to make me a bookcase, dining table & chairs or chest of drawers - or the whole lot (as punishment!! LOL!!) Glad you had a nice day out with Brent. Enjoy your dinner out with the girls too :o)

tishie (60 )    2:54 pm, 6 May


 735.            cool a anniversary

          hope you have a great day sonia and hubby orrrrr sweet isnt it, i have to get married before i can get one lol we have been togather 6 years this year and have known each other for 15!

pomegal (91 )    2:56 pm, 6 May


 736.            parisite cleanse

          any one with cancer please, please start a parasite cleanse with body tox, thoughly clease yourself change your eating habbits. i am supposed to be dead im not i have just helped my dad with with cancer that had gone from his nose in to his face and in to his eye sockets the product cost 150 for 1oz and lasts up to ten years

alangail5 (163 )    4:57 pm, 6 May


 737.            hi Sonia

          good luck...never give in..my mum 98/99 has a blood trans every month...she hangs in and fights every inch......cheers, have a nice anniversary

neldav (195 )    5:13 pm, 6 May


738.         Sounds interesting alangail

          Can't quite make out what you're recommending though - is there a website about it I can look at??? If only it was as simple as changing your eating habits LOL We couldn't eat much better than we do ;o)

soniat-d (153 )    7:39 pm, 6 May

 


739.        LOL Tishie!

          Think your dh will be sending a hit man after mine to stop him giving you such ideas LOL! Had a lovely night out thanks - we played safe and went smorgasbord so our picky girls were happy. Bath and bedtime soon for them, then we'll kick up and watch a movie me thinks ;o) Its been a lovely day - if only each day could be this good LOL

soniat-d (153 )    7:44 pm, 6 May


 740.        Thanks neldav

          Nope, certainly not giving in anytime soon! I may be riddled with cancer but I feel great! Thanks for popping in ;o)

soniat-d (153 )    7:48 pm, 6 May


741.        Hey any former radition patients out there???

          My skin is getting annoyingly itchy though in radiation site, wish I knew if I can put anything on to stop the itch, just keep slathering on the aqueous cream...

soniat-d (153 )    7:49 pm, 6 May


 742.           angel361 or anyone else that might know....

          I hope you dont mind me asking but what are you looking for in your bloods for Cancer? My hemotoligist(sp) has me on regular bloods, for very high platelets and high white cell count. I have occasional bone pain and he wont treat me till my platelets get over 1000. treat me for what i dont know. he wants to do a bone marrow biospy sometime soon - i dont have any other symptoms. He hasnt said the c word yet so im not sure - MRS DAVE

davenz3 (19 )    7:56 pm, 6 May


 743.           soniat-d

          Doctor K recommends a cool cloth perhaps put a blob of the cream in the fridge, when cool, slather that on. Keep turning the cloth over and dip it in cool water, when it gets warm again. The itching is a result of dry skin from the radio. Hope this helps.

kelsall (222 )    8:03 pm, 6 May


 744.           Thanks Kelsall :o)

          Can anyone answer davenz3's question???

soniat-d (153 )    10:19 pm, 6 May


 745.           hi davenz3

          From my limited knowledge there are blood tests to test for certain cancers, these tests have a certain proportion of false readings. I suggest, next time you visit your Doctor, you take with you a support person - very necessary!! A list of questions you want to ask, also a note book to write the answers in. Your blood counts could mean a host of diseases, don't even think of the "C" word yet, it is early days. Hugs....

kelsall (222 )    7:51 am, 7 May


 746.           Sonia

          have you tried breaking open a vit e capsule and smearing that over. When I was on radiation I took vit e and an antioxidant with lycopene in it plus omega 3 capsules as recommended by a natropath and i had no side effects apart from tiredness ( driving 180kms a day to get to auck hosp may not have helped there). And I used deodorant every day too. Can't stand stinky pits!.

sunbeamnz (72 )    9:09 am, 7 May


 747.        Thanks sunbeamnz

          I'll look into that, thanks. My skin doesn't seem dry so much as irritated, there are little red lumps all over kind of like pimples maybe but smaller and red and itchy as. My treatment is real close to the surface so maybe thats why I'm being affected so... will see what my favourite specialist Dr Benjamin has to say when I see him tomorrow morning - taking Brent with me!!!

soniat-d (153 )    9:25 am, 7 May


 748.           Thanks kelsall

          i will do that.The Hemotoligist said that chemo ( dont know that i want to go there though) helps bring down the platelets(even though the platelets arnt working as they should) meantime hes put me on cartia as i have had a tia already being cautious i guess. I have a form of kidney disease too but they think its unrealted to that - Hugs to all you lovely ladies - have a good day - MRS DAVE

davenz3 (19 )    11:23 am, 7 May


 749.           100% aloe vera gel

          Hi Sonia - I used 100% aloe vera gel that I got from a helth shop in Hamilton and just smeared that on everyday and night and really had no irritations after that just the redness, seemed to work for me.:-)

jesse1 (137 )    3:37 pm, 7 May


 750.           Hi.....

          My mum got her results back and yes she has breast cancer. She has decided to remove the whole breast. They are doing it on the 16th May. She doing great, she is talking about it - which is good as she has a habit of hidding stuff from us. I have met the specialist and he was great and answered lots of questions.

dingbat (356 )    3:43 pm, 7 May


 751.         Hi Sonia....

          would it help to keep some cream in fridge!!! This is all going to be a learning curve for me but I always keep a tube of aloe vera in fridge in summertime in case of anyone coming home with sunburn from school. Not having a good day today.. off all the meds!

landylass (47 )    4:51 pm, 7 May


 752.      Awww Landylass that's no good

          Remember those days well - chin up, as you know - you'll feel better soon enough?!!!! ((((hugs))))

soniat-d (153 )    5:37 pm, 7 May


 753.      Hi Dingbat

          Thats a shame, but if she has a choice as to whether all breast or not, it can't be too advanced I'm hoping for her sake. Say hi to her for me? I wish her well on the journey ahead of her.

soniat-d (153 )    5:39 pm, 7 May


 754.         Hi dingbat

          Are you coping OK? Mum is going to be fine, there is lots of survivors on here, some 15-20 years on. Tell her to come into our threads, there are two going at the moment and we may be able to support her a wee bit.

kelsall (222 )    5:49 pm, 7 May


 755.         hi everyone....

          I just wondered who has seen the shorts on Prime TV for Paul Holmes's show? He's interviewing a guy called Phil Kerslake (or something like that) who has battled cancer six times and is supposedly in full remission at the mo. Said the show is on Wednesday @ 7.30pm. I hope the shorts are for the actual show Paul is doing and not just an ad for his show in general. It looked interesting and it made me think I should tell you all in this thread in case you didn't already know about it.

tishie (60 )    8:17 pm, 7 May


 756.         Thanks Tishie :o)

          Hardly watch any TV now so would have missed it - yes will case it out, thanks for that ;o). Emily has been a nightmare today so off now to put my feet up and CHILL ;o) Hope she's not coming down with something - doc couldn't find anything wrong with her Friday afternoon... Also writing down a list of Q's now for Dr Benjamin tomorrow morning. Brent coming along for morale support, don't know what it is about that man, noone rattles me the way he does :o/!!!

soniat-d (153 )    9:22 pm, 7 May


 757.         diet for cancer

          not that simple, detox first test to see what minerals are missing, herbs for cancer; no bread no milk no tea and coffee no sugar at all; the salve i was taling about is for melanoma, and skin cancer its out there the information, healthy options, internet , most of the stuff comes from america

alangail5 (163 )    12:01 am, 8 May


 758.      Hi all!

          Meeting went pretty well today - Dr BJ didn't upset me this time, but he reiterated the seriousness of my situation, then balanced it with positives. All up though its anyones guess whats coming up. So (1) "All these lumps grew back during chemo" despite that we were attacking with every possible chemo - I "did the works". Cross... (2) My oncologist missed them growing back, even though I was complaining it felt wierd there. Could have saved us precious time and $$$ if he'd done his job properly. Cross... (3) If we'd found them before radiation started we would still have done radiation next as we are doing - Tick (4) Dr BJ is expecting/hoping that the lumps will shrink to nothing and avoid surgery at all - tick! (5) I'm having another markup next week to blast the lumps within currently treated area more - tick! Overall then, I'm as happy as can be given all above, and will put faith in radiation (as I had all along) and will in meantime make some appointments with iridologist etc and see what improvements c

soniat-d (153 )    12:33 pm, 8 May


 759.      Cont'd...

          ... can be made to my diet. Will also get nanny organised so I can get back into exercise. Very important I feel now, and as my feelings have been right all along (and not the docs!) I'm going with that. Beautiful day - hope anyone reading this is having a good one too ;o)

soniat-d (153 )    12:33 pm, 8 May


 760.         Hi again.....

          Yes I am coping. Mum is doing well - I have been going with her to the meetings with the specialist etc. But I couldn't go to one of them because of my children coming out of school at the same time. She was given an option but wants the whole breast removed, I found that a hard difficult to accept but it is her decision. There is a breast cancer specialist nurse which we talk to - which has been helpful for my mum. Thanks all.

dingbat (356 )    1:26 pm, 8 May


 761.      Hi everyone.......I'm back....

          feeling great but just in the door so I will come back later and have a chat.

joystik (281 )    1:28 pm, 8 May


 762.      yehaaaa hiya joystik

          have a look for the other thread (support for joystik) or something like that, great that you are home, how are you felling? hugs

pomegal (91 )    1:30 pm, 8 May


 763.      Landylass....You are a special lady........

          What a lovely surprise I got when a beautiful red cyclamen arrived from you.....it just made my day, honestly it did. I almost cried, well I probably did, cant remember, was still a bit sedated. Will talk again soon.

joystik (281 )    1:30 pm, 8 May


 764.         hay sonia

          that all sounds pretty good (i think) well you seam pretty positive with it anyway and thats all that matters, hugs to you

pomegal (91 )    1:32 pm, 8 May


 765.      Hi JOYSTIK!

          Yayyyyy! Great to hear from you, you're sounding GREAT! Well done! Hows the pain? That was the worst part for me, sounds like they have it under control for you - thats awesome :o) Something is on the way from me too, but due to comedy of errors with post, goodness knows when it'll turn up LOL :o/!!! Thank goodness I decided to send it to you at your home address! Hope you're being treated like a queen at home. Take it easy and do start on those arm exercises ASAP and keep at them! I'm so glad you're sounding so great :o)

soniat-d (153 )    1:55 pm, 8 May


 766.      Hi sonia and welcome home joystik

          You ladies are often in my thoughts,I check on you often but don't always post. Continue to stay positive and beat this thing :)

scooby614 (368 )    3:40 pm, 8 May


 767.      Hi ladies......I feel so good actually......

          The story goes a bit like this. I had to be at the hospital at 7.15am Friday morning and was fine until the first nurse asked me how I was feeling! I was bawling instantly, but got over it quite quickly while she went thru heaps of paper work, all to do with hospital systems I suppose. Then got the magic white pill, for anxiety I believe...and was fine until they wheeled me down to theatre and stopped outside so Kevin could say goodbye....more tears and hugs and then action.......I went into theatre at 8.28am and that was the last time I saw until 1pm, when I was back in the ward, with Kevin and flowers, flowers and flowers!!

joystik (281 )    4:59 pm, 8 May


 768.         The operation started at 8.57am.....

          and was completed at 10.55am, and I was in recovery at 11.04 and awake at 11.07. I dont remember being there at all. My first recollection of being awake were as I was being wheeled back to my room at 1pm. The rest of friday was pretty much a blurr....I had a few visitors and between presses on the PCA (morphine pump thing) slept most of the day away. I was starving and had full fluids tea about 5.30. From about 11pm I was vomitting every hour or so, which was not pleasant. The nurses put 3 different types of anti nausea medication thru my lure but made no difference. It wasnt until my morning nurse came on at 6.45 and got me the 'top shelf' anti nausea drugs that I stopped vomitting. It the main one they use for chemo patients apparently and works really good most of the time.

joystik (281 )    5:06 pm, 8 May


 769.         So...apart from being quite tired and yucky......

          feeling, by then I was starting to look towards home. My lure was put in the top of my foot for the drip and it was so sore...it was by far the most painfull part of the whole thing. Anyway, by teatime I was eating so I asked them to take it out, and from saturday night only had 2 panadol 3 times a day for pain and keeping the temp down. The physio came saturday mid morning and went thru the exrcises with me and was amazed at how much movement there was. I even got up and showered myself and washed my hair first thing saturday morning. And so of course I have really looked after myself cos I didnt really need them much. I loved it there though...lovely new hospital, not 2 years old yet, ensuite room with a view on the sunyside, own tv etc and the staff were lovely. I'm not doing anything at home though....being well and truely waited on and spoilt.

joystik (281 )    5:13 pm, 8 May


 770.         I was ever hopeful that they would take 2....

          drains out before I came home, but there had been a bit of a muck up in the recording of the amounts, so they left them all to be sure and the district nurse will have a look every day until they need to be removed. Hopefully that will happen in the next day or so. They redressed the wounds yesterday and they look good.....well not as scary as I expected. Still a bit of a shock when you first have a look, but hey THE MONSTER HAS GONE!!

joystik (281 )    5:16 pm, 8 May


 771.         could I get your opinions please

          I went to my Gp today, have a lump 3cm x3cm, he was pretty sure that it was not good and sent me for a mammogram, they said it was fatty tissue. I went from thinking the worst to nothing... My gp said he was so sorry that it felt like cancer...can they tell by feeling???? I am a mess christine

gregp3 (5 )    5:21 pm, 8 May


 772.         So I have been discharged with panadol.....

          and iron (yay!!) and have to go back for the histology report next wednesday. At this stage all I can tell you is that it was a Moderately Differentiated Infiltrating Ductal Carcinoma. That is the information from the biopsy I believe. I will be able to tell you more about that after histology report next week though. As for the arm, that is going really well and I can reach the top of the door frame and flat on the bed both sides behind my head. Physio were pretty impressed. But thats enough about me, what about all you lovely ladies??

joystik (281 )    5:22 pm, 8 May


 773.      If the mammogram people weren't concerned

          then I think you're OK gregp3. If they're not sure they go on to do ultrasound (digital ones are better). BC feels really hard - like a stone. If you're not happy - get a second opinion - ie ask for a digital ultrasound. My lumps look like dark round/oval shapes - really stand out on the screen, so no doubting it. Best of luck ;o)

soniat-d (153 )    5:24 pm, 8 May


 774.         Hi gregp3......I know exactly how you will be ....

          feeling. You are where I was a couple of months ago. Hearing the word cancer can be pretty shattering and mind altering, but just because the GP says its cancer doesnt mean it is necessarily. (unless you have had a biopsy and know for sure) And even if it is, the cure rate for breast cancer is around 95 %. My GP said mine wasn't cancer, but I knew it was. I got a second opinion and have just had surgery on last friday. Just hang in there, take one step at a time, and remember it doesn't have to be all bad. I'll be thinking of you and sending lots of hugs and warm wishes.

joystik (281 )    5:28 pm, 8 May


 775.         Thanks for the update Joystik

          It's amazing how similar your op story sounds to mine! I did the weeping at the exact same times LOL! I had the vomiting problems after as well. Main thing I remember was the PAIN when I woke from the op OMG the pain! Took them 20 mins to get it under control - so glad you didn't have that - awesome! Sorry must go make din dins now - back later, am working on my next webpage update at the mo ;o)

soniat-d (153 )    5:28 pm, 8 May


 776.         thankyou

          I feel all over the place. I need to go back and see him tomorrow. Keep strong ladies you are all great. Christine

gregp3 (5 )    5:28 pm, 8 May


 777.         You stay strong too Christine....

          and try not too look too far ahead. There is a lot to think about but just go through it slowly and take one step at a time. We'll all be here for you.

joystik (281 )    5:30 pm, 8 May


 778.         Welcome home Joystick

          So pleased to have you back, I imagine your family are delighted to have you home. Keep up the exercises, stiffness can come on later. We all thought of you each day and sent mental hugs....

kelsall (222 )    5:48 pm, 8 May


 779.         Wow Joystik...

          can't believe you sound so great!!!!! Bet hubby and daughter are relieved to have you home too. Onward and upward now, the monsters gone. Hopefully you will have the drains out quickly. Bugger over the top shelf anti nausea... grr they should have given you those to start with!

landylass (47 )    7:34 pm, 8 May


 780.         Its scary gregp3

          when that big c is mentioned. The only way of knowing for sure is biopsey. I'm with the others on asking for a 2nd opinion if you don't feel happy.

landylass (47 )    7:38 pm, 8 May


 781.         glad to hear your home joystick

          hiya landylass,sonia t

bogeyi (482 )    7:42 pm, 8 May


 782.         Hi dingbat...

          sorry to hear about your mum. The hardest part of my battle so far was making that decision over what to let them do. I syked myself up and wanted a mastectomy to be told it was overkill and had lumpectomy & nodes done to find out mine was agressive. It doesn't sound nice but maybe mum feels happier having a mastectomy. Good luck to her and keep us posted.

landylass (47 )    7:43 pm, 8 May


 783.         Sonia that is

          good news. hehe did Brent scare the pants of Dr B??? I have just read Phil Kerslakes book over the weekend then saw him on Breakfast and Good Morning this morning. Some interesting stuff in that book.

landylass (47 )    7:46 pm, 8 May


 784.         I think I did Landylass!

          Funnily enough, when I was called, another doc/nurse took me into a room saying they would be doing me for Dr BJ as he was busy, I said no I have a lot of questions - can I ask you them - she said oh no, will have to get BJ and he came in like 2 mins later and saw us for about 15 minutes - so wasn't busy after all! LOL!

soniat-d (153 )    7:59 pm, 8 May


 785.         Hi Dingbat - yes big ((((hugs))))) for your mum

          It certainly is her decision and I personally think its a wise one. If there's one thing I've learned through all of this, its to go with your gut. If thats her gut feel, support her, I'm sure its the right one ;o) Losing a breast isn't the end of the world - infact, I don't trust the one I have left!

soniat-d (153 )    8:03 pm, 8 May


 786.      Hya bogeyi

          Hope you've had a good day!

soniat-d (153 )    8:03 pm, 8 May


 787.      I'm here for you too Christine

          Pop in anytime and let us know how you're getting on ;o)

soniat-d (153 )    8:05 pm, 8 May


 788.         Actually losing two breasts isnt the end of the...

          world either. It was a bit traumatic before hand but havent regretted it since thats for sure. And met so many staff, and nurse aids that have had mastectomys, in the 4 days I was there.

joystik (281 )    8:17 pm, 8 May


 789.         Yes they are pleased to have me home.......

          and aren't letting me do a thing. Had a lovely dinner cooked for me tonight,and apart from sit in the lazy boy chair, I havent done a thing. They had done dusting, vac-ing, made beds washing and everything

joystik (281 )    8:20 pm, 8 May


 790.         Thats awesome joystik!

          You sound so happy :o) I think thats the benefit of waiting for surgery - coming to terms with it. For me I went in 10 days from blissfully unaware a lump was inside me to lying in hospital bed minus one breast. Not fun :o/!!! So glad for you, I have a good feeling about you - I think you're home and hosed ;o)

soniat-d (153 )    8:27 pm, 8 May


 791.         lol joystik...

          make the most of it!!! One good thing if there is such a thing.... you won't be lopsided!

landylass (47 )    8:33 pm, 8 May


 792.         glad you are home joystick

          Thanks for the kind thoughts ladys will ring my GP tomorrow and see if he still wants to do the biopsy. not a day I would want to repeat. All I could think about today was my family and tried to remember all your stories...kept me sane...if you could all do it so could I. nite nite. christine

gregp3 (5 )    9:43 pm, 8 May


 793.         when worst comes to

          worst the waiting and the unknown is the horrible bit. Once you know what you have to fight, you find inner strength and get on and do it. Keep positive until you know you have something to worry about, and keep popping in.

landylass (47 )    9:46 pm, 8 May


 794.         Hi Sonia

          you sound positive good girl been thinking of you while away. Hugs Christine get another opinion. Landylass hope you have a better day tomorrow.Joystick well done you sound great. To all you other ladies who are going through hell hugs from me and keep strong.How is wee Josh now?

boop2 (106 )    10:01 pm, 8 May


 795.         heres a pic to put a smile on your face

          www.caringbridge.org/ak/ryan

bogeyi (482 )    10:04 pm, 8 May


 796.         Aw that is so

          awesome that he had a great day bogeyi. There are some neat people out there.

landylass (47 )    10:08 pm, 8 May


 797.      What a great pic bogeyi

          He certainly is a stunning looking kid - you can tell him that from me ;o) Glad he had such a great day!

soniat-d (153 )    10:22 pm, 8 May


 798.         thanks guys

          just thought it would make people smile.

bogeyi (482 )    10:24 pm, 8 May


 799.         Hi Boop2

          Nice to hear from you again - yep feeling tentatively positive (about the best way I can describe it!). Brent is out of sorts tonight for some reason, so treading carefully. I think he's adjusting to what Dr BJ said today and melting down internally a bit #sigh#. Have decided I'll do the appointments on my own from now on - I'm a big girl now ;o)

soniat-d (153 )    10:38 pm, 8 May


 800.      Another hundy!

          Hee hee hee!

soniat-d (153 )    11:07 pm, 8 May


 Removed

          The community voted to remove this message. To place a vote, click the links at the foot of any message board thread.

antoine21 (-1)    11:26 pm, 8 May


 802.                   Nice...

          Think I will take the high moral ground, and just ignore that one. *waves* to Sonia and all the other Ladies.

sonja2 (303 )    11:56 pm, 8 May


 803.                   Bumping!!

          Bumping so we can all vote the message off.

kelsall (222 )    7:19 am, 9 May


 804.                   How?

          It says vote this thread off above the message, not vote this message off?

kelsall (222 )    7:24 am, 9 May


 805.                Am I glad I didn't see what was said?

          Mind boggles!?! Morning all :o)

soniat-d (153 )    8:48 am, 9 May


 806.                   Geez ...what was that about???? .......

          Hi ladies, bogeyi, boop2, sonia, landy and everyone. What a beautiful pic of young Ryan. Hes a gorgeous looking little boy isnt he. Must have been a fun day for him. Hope you are well and happy today....I am. Just have to wait for next wednesday to come around. Talk again later.

joystik (281 )    9:25 am, 9 May


 807.                   Hi...

          What the eyes don't see, the heart doesn't grieve over. Thank you very much whoever voted it off.

kelsall (222 )    9:32 am, 9 May


 808.                Very good morning

          to all you fighters out there. Hope you have all had a great weekend with your families. Keep up the battle, onwards and upwards :) have a awesome day everyone

rohab (30 )    11:11 am, 9 May


 809.                   morning

          Ryan is such a handsome little boy he looks better in this photo hasn't got the shadows under his eyes. Please give him a hug from me. Hi Sonia still being busy I bet. How is Emily now? Hi Joystick are you still feeling well? Landylass hi to you too.

boop2 (106 )    12:13 pm, 9 May


 810.                   boop2 correct his eyes are much clearer

          just hope we see some movement in counts or we are up for another transplant which we got a run down on yesterday and i dont want to even go there.

bogeyi (482 )    12:27 pm, 9 May


 811.                   hope all goes well

          with his counts bogey. Is this donar transplant or stem cell. I'm a bit ignornant in this dept but just finished reading Phil Kerslakes book at weekend in which he talked about low counts and harvesting his own stem cells etc for transplant.

landylass (47 )    1:21 pm, 9 May


 812.                   My mum is having a downer of a day today.....

          my brother is the problem - he is being nasty. I could say a few words about but I won't go there. I actually happy for mum making the decision to have her breast removed - I just want the best for her and I know it is not my decision (naughty daughter - slap on the back of the hand). It's great to read the other stories out there - Thanks.

dingbat (356 )    1:30 pm, 9 May


 813.                   hiya girls

          and joystik i finally get to read your story of the op, you are a amazing woman hugs to you

pomegal (91 )    2:04 pm, 9 May


 814.                   dingbat I honestly

          feel it is easier to go thru it than watch a loved one have to do it. Your mum needs to concentrate on herself at moment but unfortunately everyday life has to gone on too and that can include dealing with brothers!

landylass (47 )    2:18 pm, 9 May


 815.                   Thanks pomegal....

          do you know much about the type of cancer that I have? It that what you had? I will of course no more next week. Had such a lovely day today. Dear Hubby took me to the Beachhouse Cafe in Riverton, for a lovely lunch. It was a simply beautiful sunny day with no wind.....very special. I hope you have had a good day too.

joystik (281 )    3:59 pm, 9 May


 816.                   hi dingbat...hope you and your mum.........

          are haaving a better day today. Its a difficult decision to make sometimes as what is best to do. I must say I didn't have any difficulty with my decision to have both breasts removed though. Several people questioned my reasoning, but having seen my own Mum go through Breast cancer twice, only to claim her life at 48, the decision for me was easy. I certainly don't regret it for one minute. Actually, from last friday, when I had the surgery, until I left hospital yesterday midday, I had several people in the hospital (staff) say to me that they had regretted not getting both done at once. Thinking of you all every day anyway.....love and hugs...

joystik (281 )    4:04 pm, 9 May


 817.                   Hi bogeyi and ryan....hope today is great for you.

          and you are feeling better and things are going your way. You are a very brave little chap. I've been thinking about you and your family so much in the past few days. Keep your chin up young fella, and you will be just fine.

joystik (281 )    4:10 pm, 9 May


 818.                   Hi boop2 and others

          Yep finally back for a mo after a busy busy day - all went well though. Emily seems to be on the mend thanks - she had a bit of diahorrea (sp) on Monday, so suspect that was the problem in previous few days - much happier now with each day, so hopefully (touch wood) thats the end of that. Their nanny has finally returned from her honeymoon so she can start back from tomorrow afternoon which will be great. Parents in law (my main help looking after Emily if radiation times too late in day) are in Fiji from end next week, so I sure hope hospital gives better radiation times by then?! Nanny can generally only help from 4pm onwards?!!

soniat-d (153 )    4:52 pm, 9 May


 819.                   hi landylass

          its a donor transplant which is his brother whos 5

bogeyi (482 )    4:58 pm, 9 May


 820.                   Oi sonia, hands-off Ryan

          I bags him for my future son-in-law!!! He's a stunning looking boy!!! I was disappointed I didn't see him on the news when they covered the Sky Tower firefighters climb. Glad you're sounding so upbeat joystik. Since I started following this thread I've been thinking about what I'd do if I was diagnosed with BC. It's not something I'd given any thought to before. Our family doesn't have any history of cancer so I haven't had to confront it aside from when friends have got it. I think I'd want both my boobs removed too - but easy to say that when it's just an abstract thought. Oh sonia, I got my date for my caesarean - 25th May. So I'll be lying low without internet access in hospital in a couple of weeks. I think I'll go mad without the MB!

tishie (60 )    5:03 pm, 9 May


 821.                   Its so great that master 5 can help

          his brother isn't it bogeyi - what a relief that must have been, and what a trooper master 5 is for doing that :o)

soniat-d (153 )    5:04 pm, 9 May


 822.                LOL Tishie!

          Picturing you inthere suffering MB withdrawal - ooh you poor thing! Hey, not sure how worried you are about the c-section, I ended up having and emergency one the first time after 3 day labour, so second one was elective like yours and wow it was soooo much better - I was actually laughing in the operating room! Good luck with that, I'm so excited for you that its finally almost here! A friend of mine is very overdue now and facing induction soon, she's the same - two sons now expecting a daughter - so excited for her :o)

soniat-d (153 )    5:08 pm, 9 May


 823.                   wow bogeyi....

          I didn't realise your 5yo was able to donate, that's great news!!!! What a little hero he is :o) I hope the firefighters made a big fuss of him too. Is what Ryan has a form of leukaemia? There's been huge gains made in leukaemia treatment. My best friend had it 20 years ago and sadly she died aged 12. She didn't have some of the options that are around now.

tishie (60 )    5:09 pm, 9 May


 824.                   soniat it was a blessing that we had tyler

          as a match, but hes now saying i dont want needles or give my blood, poor bugger as he may need to do it again and i think he senses it.

bogeyi (482 )    5:10 pm, 9 May


 825.                   it's probably just as well newborns are so

          time consuming - I'm hoping I won't notice I haven't got a keyboard in front of me!! My 6yo was an emergency caesar - turns out my pelvis is much smaller than normal so I can't give birth. My 23mo was elective caesar and so is this one (obviously). It actually works out well for my husband, he can plan his workload around the date - very important as he's a one man band and heavily in demand. Oops, not only am I rambling, I'm a hijacker too!! LOL!!

tishie (60 )    5:13 pm, 9 May


 826.                   awwww poor little Tyler!!

          5 is too young to undrestand the implications of Ryan's illness but years from now I bet he'll say that's the thing he's done that he's most proud of! I think Tyler is just fantastic!

tishie (60 )    5:14 pm, 9 May


 827.                   I'm with Tishie on that ;o)

          Yep Tyler is a blessing and its really a big ask for a 5 year old so perfectly understandable reaction (I still can't get Brent to donate blood, what a sook - annoys me as I can't anymore!). Can they give him a bit of gas so he's asleep when he does it? Apparently they can knock kids out for very short spaces of time (like when having radiation treatments). You probably know that already?!

soniat-d (153 )    5:52 pm, 9 May


 828.                OK so...my latest from today is...

          I've got Dr Benjamin sorted now - much happier with him these days - I got demanding and seem to have him on his toes now! Had another markup today so they'll do stronger blasts on my big lumps, after I kept pressing Dr BJ, saying they weren't shrinking enough IMO and I wasn't satisfied that the current treatment covered them well enough. I wonder if this markup would have happened at all if I hadn't done that (it was all very rushed and last-minute) - so I'm pleased with myself - thatís my new approach with this - I'm in charge and I know best!

soniat-d (153 )    5:56 pm, 9 May


 829.                   you go girl!!!

          It's the only body you've got so IMO you have every right to get demanding!! Maybe Dr BJ responds better to stroppy patients, some people do. I learnt that in my call centre days. Some customers just would NOT listen when they were wrong but if you were firm with them they'd finally get it!! LOL!

tishie (60 )    6:30 pm, 9 May


 830.                   when it comes to the crunch he dosent have a

          choice so we dont really say anything we will at the last minute.Yes they knock him out takes about 1 hour they make 4 cuts, 2 at front and 2 at back on the hips, they then put a needle into the bone and suck up the marrow all up last time they took a whopping 400ml so they said that the needle goes in about 200 times between the 4 incisions.

bogeyi (482 )    6:42 pm, 9 May


831.              Ohhh bogeyi... the poor little chap.......

          but all for a good cause. Its so great that you have a family match like that. I'll be thinking of you all and hope it all goes well if thats what has to happen.

joystik (281 )    7:51 pm, 9 May


 832.           OMG bogeyi the poor kid!

          Definately knocout material!?! Sounds like thats the best approach for sure. Big hugs to you and your handsome family, stay strong :o)

soniat-d (153 )    7:52 pm, 9 May


 833.              funny thing was he didnt complain

          of being sore they say kids bounce back quick.

bogeyi (482 )    7:54 pm, 9 May


 834.           They sure do ;o)

          And somtimes they actually bounce LOL! Hope he gets a nice treat after - that'd distract him from the discomfort for sure! Amazing stuff you guys through, I'm in awe!

soniat-d (153 )    8:02 pm, 9 May


 835.              Hey Landylass, RU there?

          I've just started reading a book by Ladd R McNamara MD "Breast Cancer - The role of Nutritional Supplements in the Prevention and Treatment of Breast Cancer". Is that the book you've just read? I'm only on p 21 and I'm engrossed! Have a list of 4 supplements already. Have contact details of a doc who straddles the fence between medicine and Herbal supplements who I think I'll call now and book an appointment. She's miles away but I'll sort that out somehow... Man I'm so excited with what I've read so far I want to run out and buy Grape Seed extract etc now! Will keep reading though. Now that I know how many different types of BC's there are, I keep thinking "Yes, but will it work on mine?!"

soniat-d (153 )    8:08 pm, 9 May


 836.              Hi to all of you

          What a busy weekend with hubbys friend from North Island staying to do the big Hunting lark. Josh is doing ok thanks, managed to go to school today. Been very tired!! Naturally. Now I have decided he has to try to go to sleep at a decent hour and I wake him when his chemo is due, so far it seems to be working. I am so in awe of you all, Joy Stik you are doing wonderfully. I hope you are not too uncomforatable. Bogey1 Ryan is gorgeous!! I have not stopped thinking of you all, I like others dont post everyday but you are never far from my thoughts. Off to hospital tomorrow for Josh's treatment so hope you all have a great day. Love and thoughts always

paulaxx (75 )    8:50 pm, 9 May


 837.              Hi paula..I'm doing just fine thanks........

          and am hoping that some of these drains can come out in the morning. The nurse came and emptied them all this morning at 11.30 and 3 of them still have nothing in them. I cant sleep on my back no matter how tired I am. Good luck and big hugs to Josh for his treatment tomorrow. As always, you wont be far from my thoughts either.

joystik (281 )    9:25 pm, 9 May


                     Removed

          The community voted to remove this message. To place a vote, click the links at the foot of any message board thread.

antoine21 (-1)    9:29 pm, 9 May


 839.              hehe sonia...

          I have visions of this noisy woman charging down corridors, demanding to know where Dr Benji is, making receptionists cower under their desks, and nurses run for cover!!!!!! When do you start the new high powered stuff? No the book I read was Phil Kerslakes. He has beaten cancer 6 times over 30 years and is a great advocate of good nutrition and a healthy immune system and various ways of getting it that way.

landylass (47 )    9:29 pm, 9 May


 840.              Hey sonia, glad to see someone else....

          researching the use of nutritional supplements to help fight this thing. I got this book called Cancer: Cause and Cure. Written by an Aussie farmer called Percy Weston.Have you een it or read it. We ordered a pile of supplements today...stung me $1400 but its got to be worth a go I would say. Especially seeing as mine is invasive.

joystik (281 )    9:31 pm, 9 May


 841.              Bump this up.. and get rid of that unwanted post..

          ....

joystik (281 )    9:38 pm, 9 May


 842.              Hi Everyone

          Have just caught up on the last few days messages. I dont know if you remember me but I posted about my mums brain tumour and other medical problems and that they thought she had heart problems. Heart problems is an understatement. She has actually been having mini heart attacks!! The pains she was having she put down to her portacath and indigestion/heartburn. She has been in CCU since last Friday and hopefully will be moved to a ward tomorrow. My brother is enjoying Spain Grrrr - we havent told him anything yet until we know exactly was is happening.

volksie (240 )    10:11 pm, 9 May


843.              volksie

          hopefully now they have identified the problems they will get on top of it. Big hugs.

landylass (47 )    10:17 pm, 9 May


 844.              Hi all

          Sonia good for you I used to be so scared of doctors we were bought up not to challenge them I am so glad things have changed it has made you feel better and I don't hesitate now either. I like your boys names bogeyi Tyler and Ryan are so nice.Ryan's eyes look green are they? Keep up the fight girls you are an inspiration to everyone.

boop2 (106 )    10:21 pm, 9 May


 845.              Hi volksie

          Lots of loving thoughts and best wishes to you and your Mum, I am sure it will all go well for her now, very lucky though. Keep us informed of her progress.

kelsall (222 )    10:37 pm, 9 May


 846.              Hey Joystick

          Mine is the mother of invasive! Defies chemo, still feels like its growing during radiation. I have these flashes of panic every few days (just had one a short while ago) where I think "its going to keep growing and keep spreading and I'm going to die" and feel like its already doing so. Arrrgh! Then BOOM I'm over it! No wonder I need therapy LOL! Yep - all fired up about these supplements - man I'd heard of Percy Weston's stuff - didn't realise it was so pricey!!! Wonder if this stuff I'm looking at is that pricey too???!!!

soniat-d (153 )    11:15 pm, 9 May


 847.           Great to hear back from you Paula

          *Waves* Wishing your family all the best too :o)

soniat-d (153 )    11:17 pm, 9 May


 848.              soniat-d Hi

          Re the panic attacks, we all get those, I know how horrible they are, keep in mind all the women who have had more advanced cancers than yours and are still around, years down the track. Bedside manners aside, Dr B. is the best in the world, all the rich and famous go to him. Paul Holmes for one. Keep smiling sweetheart, you are going to be around to see your Grandchildren and Great-Grandchildren. Of that, I am absolutely positive...Hugs..

kelsall (222 )    7:50 am, 10 May


 849.              I've been taking Percys powders

          marvelous stuff, gave me a real boost. Switching over to the CAA pills, as I like popping pills better than mixing powders. Place in Orewa sells the stuff too. Give it a go, can only help.

sunbeamnz (72 )    8:02 am, 10 May


 850.              Sorry Had to Be Done!

         

scottyc3 (163 )    8:38 am, 10 May


 851.     Hi sonia....you are a real treasure aren't you....

          Thank you so much for your lovely gift which arrived in the mail this morning. Having friends like you out there just makes this all the more easy to get thru. I cried (like you do) to think that an almost unknown person has it in there heart to do this. You are a beautiful person sonia, and I think about you all the time and send you lots of hugs and good wishes every day. Hope today is a great day for you too. xxxxx

joystik (281 )    9:42 am, 10 May


 852.     We have ordered a combination of three......

          different things from Percy's Bible, in capsule form. They are CoQ10-Omega3, CAA, and Coral C. I sure it cant do any harm, and if the testimonials in the book are anything to go by, it will be good. I think when its 'in your face' you do anything that might help you along the way. As a family we are all going to take it and see what the benefits are. My husband has lots of health problems so anything is worth a try. The surgical Registrar suggested that my daughter and I both have the gene test to see if either or both of us have the gene that causes breast cancer.

joystik (281 )    9:48 am, 10 May


 853.     Hello to all you other ladies here today.......

          hope all is well with you all, and today will be a good day all round. You are just a special bunch of people. I'll be sending you all heaps of hugs and good wishes. Well I know you are all sending them to me - they are coming from somewhere. Thats why I feel so good, and have done since day 1. Love to you all.

joystik (281 )    9:50 am, 10 May


 854.     Hi there all

          Well I go for my free routine breastscreen tonight, all women who are reading this and havnt taken advantage of this free service for the over 45s please do so now! Youre getting $100+ worth of attention for free! also if I can hijack this thread for a second please ladies also remember to have regular smear tests - such a small procedure but also very important, have a great day all!

solarouge (46 )    10:25 am, 10 May


 855.     Too true solarouge.....I tell everyone to have....

          a mammogram now, and actually always have from when I started. I know heaps of people that have never had a smear test or a mammogram, and never do self examination of their breasts either!! You would have to have your head permanently in the sand to NOT do it, wouldn't you?? Good luck for your mammogram tonight.

joystik (281 )    11:12 am, 10 May


 856.     Hi Joystick

          I have still got my blood test for gene testing at home! Have to have it in Dunedin and just haven't had time or courage to go do it yet. Maybe next trip down. I've been told miss 16 can't be tested until 20 and they have suggested she think about it by 25. Big big decision for someone young to make. Hope you day is going well. Had my eye photography and new camera and no horrible eye drops this time so thats been a bonus. Had a hours shopping instead! Have a good day, I'm off for my lunch. Wearing wig today to encourage other lady to wear hers and its hot and I can't wait to get home to get it off!

landylass (47 )    11:42 am, 10 May


 857.           Thank you Joystick

          its just a routine one, had to laugh husband asking me about it and I said he can come and watch if he likes and he's like - "nah thats allright, I'll pass on that one".

solarouge (46 )    11:50 am, 10 May


 858.     Thanks landylass......the registrar suggested...

          I speak to the surgeon about it anyway, and he's not going to be at the histology results, cos hes in Sydney at a conference or something. Lauren is very keen to know if she or I have the responsible gene, but its a few years until shes 20! didn'tget any drains taken out today, but I would expect 2 tomorrow. Two on one side had nothing in last night when I went to bed, and I was a bit suspicious that they weren't working, but this morning one had over 50ml, so they still working ok. Slept much better last night, but I was so tired. Enjoy you lunchout...I'm staying home today. Just came a shower of rain actually, so I'm better inside where its cosy and warm.

joystik (281 )    11:51 am, 10 May


 859.     Landylass, what is the eye photography......

          for actually?? Haven't heard of this before. I got hubby to take a couple of pics of my op site and drains etc this morning after I had a shower. He wasn't that keen actually, but I think it will be good to look back on in time, when its all healed up. Mine looks way better now than mums ever did, thanks to better techniques and advances in medicine.

joystik (281 )    11:54 am, 10 May


 860.     bump

          just a wee reminder to you all that Paul Holmes' interview with Phil Kerslake is on tonight on Prime (7.30pm I think). I'd like to think that seeing as Paul has had his own cancer battle he'll be asking questions that you would all have too.

tishie (60 )    12:28 pm, 10 May


 861.     Thanks for the reminder tishie.....

          I have written myself a big note an pinned it up in front of the computer so I dont miss it. Should be most interesting I think. I saw Phil Kerslake on Breakfast programme on monday morning, but missed quite a bit of it with the staff coming in to do ob's and the breakfast arriving etc (I was in Hospital). So looking forward to it tonight. You have a good day.

joystik (281 )    1:19 pm, 10 May


 862.           You're most welcome Joystik!

          I'm glad it finally got there - oh the tales that go with that parcel LOL!

soniat-d (153 )    1:30 pm, 10 May


 863.           Thanks for telling me what you're taking Joystik!

          Thats a big help! Grape seed extract has me interested for a start plus Co-enzyme Q10 and Omega 3 - so there you go, these two different sources certainly have common recommendations! I like that! I'm booked with the supplements doc on Monday an hour after my radiation treatment so looking forward to what he has to say! Also will give my iridologist another call, would really like to see what his latest reading has to say - he's always been spot-on in the past ;o)

soniat-d (153 )    1:36 pm, 10 May


 864.     Its taken me a couple of days to read through

          this thread sonia, and to look through your website and you truely are a hero, for fighting this terrible terrible disease which took my aunt from us way to soon...(like my second mother) My prayers and thoughts are with you and hope you can troop on through with this little set back (i say little cause for such a fighter like you, you will make it small) and be well on the way to recovery very soon..the very best of luck..rest up to.

leyland1 (448 )    1:39 pm, 10 May


 865.           Hi Landylass :o)

          Yes I'm puzzled about the eye photography too - whats that?! I must remember to ask about this gene testing - I'd be very interested to see what it says, as it would also help me understand the possible risk my daughters have (maybe?!). I keep forgetting to ask about it - d-oh!

soniat-d (153 )    1:40 pm, 10 May


 866.           Awww thanks Leyland1!

          This is quite a thread isn't it? Never had one run this long _ I am mentally picturing you plowing through it page by page LOL! Am updating my webpage at the moment, will be up and running in a day or three ;o) Thanks for the kind wishes - and yes- putting plans in place to create some "me time". Long overdue!!!

soniat-d (153 )    1:43 pm, 10 May


 867.           Thanks Tishie from me too

          Writing a post-it now to stick to my forehead! Can't believe I forgot about it already - have been so distracted by the Tassie miners saga - what an amazing story :o)

soniat-d (153 )    1:46 pm, 10 May


 868.     Thanks Kelsall (from previous page!)

          Glad I'm not alone! Think I'll have to stop watching medical dramas - too many cancer death stories on there - thats what did it for me last night!

soniat-d (153 )    1:49 pm, 10 May


 869.     Sonia, our 2 huge pacels of supplements.........

          just arrived this morning, along with your parcel. Also we got colloidal silver, which is apparently good for almost everything as well. Is is supposed to be the most powerful antibiotic and germkiller ever discovered, and the cheapest. Is kills harmful bacteria, fungi, and viruses yet does not harm the bobys useful bacteria. I am not on any prescription drugs, except iron so I am going to take the stuff. Obviously I will tell them at histology, what I'm doin but I cant be any harm at this stage can it??

joystik (281 )    1:51 pm, 10 May


 870.     I have a brochure here that I will mail off to....

          you today, all about the stuff we ave got. Because we have bought such a bulk amount, we are entitled to some free twin packs, so I will get one of those mailed to you also. Just cant help but wondering, in my case especially, why we have waited for the monster to arrive before we did anything to try and prevent it??? Especially when you read the stuff in this brochure about all sorts of things that have been cured in people just by re-arranging there diet a little and taking some minerals to balance it all out. Our intake of phosphates is way too high. That would seem to fit well with the excessive cancers in farming/cropping areas, wouldnt it???

joystik (281 )    1:59 pm, 10 May


 871.     Thanks so much Joystik!

          How wonderful of you - looking forward to that! Yes so true - why didn't we act sooner to prevent? Simple really - thought it would never happen to me! What I can't understand is some of my friends who still think this way, haven't yet got a mammogram (even one with huge family history of it?!). Very frustrating to see, not I'm on the enlightened side of the fence! I held off taking supplements during chemo, as oncologist warned me not to. Given whats happened, I'm taking things into my own hands! Feels like the right thing to do ;o)

soniat-d (153 )    2:03 pm, 10 May


 872.           that should have read...

          NOW I'm on...

soniat-d (153 )    2:04 pm, 10 May


 873.     All the Best

          All the best with fighting it, i know that it is hard for you and all those close - just make sure you have heaps of good times and this will help fight it. Thinking of you

carloos (1 )    2:07 pm, 10 May


 874.     Thanks carloos, for thinking of us on here.....

          Its so nice to know there are so many people out there who have you in their thoughts.

joystik (281 )    2:28 pm, 10 May


 875.     I get my histology on wednesday next week......

          but in the meantime I am going to get stuck right in to this stuff. I haven't got anything to losa at this stage I dont think, do you?? Or would you wait if it was you? I too find it so frustrating that people that should be intelligent enough to see, just put off important things like mammograms and smears. Not so easy to put of the cancer!!, is it sonia!! I have always had them done and it got me anyway..

joystik (281 )    2:32 pm, 10 May


 876.     Yep Joystik I say go for it!

          The old me wouldn't have been so sure! The thing would be to go for it now, mention what your taking at first oncology visit and they may ask you to stop taking some. A successful back-from-death cancer survivor I know took her supplements in the middle week only during her chemo. I was never to sure about that, but it worked for her - and clearer not taking them didn't help me!!!!

soniat-d (153 )    3:45 pm, 10 May


 877.     ...clearLY! #sigh#!

          Typos running thick and fast today LOL!

soniat-d (153 )    3:46 pm, 10 May


 878.     Hi Joystik,

          I've had interesting discussions with lady I had lunch with. She has been to naturpath and was showing me all the diet suggestions he made to her. Got a copy home to study. Eye photography is to do with diabetes. Damage can occur to eyes so they do an annual check. I've just picked up info on spriolena? as a food supplement. Not going to take anything though until I check with oncologist.

landylass (47 )    3:51 pm, 10 May


 879.     Hi...

          Hope you are all having a good day. Josh had his chemo today its called Vincristine and in a few days he will feel the affects. Poor Lamb. But I will pass on all your lovely thoughts to him. ** Waves and gives a big wink** Take care. Always thinking of you all. Josh said to me on the way home sometimes I dont like having Cancer. I said I bet you dont, but you are doing so well and fighting this and he said I tell myself that everyday. I am going to beat this! He has such a wonderful attitude. Keep up your strength and keep fighting your all doing marvelously :o)

paulaxx (75 )    4:08 pm, 10 May


 880.     The poor wee man......

          tell him I dont think its too good either, but we are all fighting this thing together and we will all win!! Big hugs to you all in your family Paula, especially Josh. xxxxx

joystik (281 )    4:25 pm, 10 May


 881.     landylass, dont forget to watch that........

          chappy on prime tonight at 7.30, will you. Should be most interesting I think. I would be interested in what you find out after reading about the supplements.

joystik (281 )    4:27 pm, 10 May


 882.     Hey Landylass..........

          are you at Kelk Rd? Got something to send to you.

joystik (281 )    4:30 pm, 10 May


 883.     I've been taking Spirulina

          on and off for the last few years. Being vegetarian I find it helps. I also kept on taking it during chemo. Started on the CAA last week; had been meaning to get it for ages and finally got round to it. Wanted to get the Co-enzyme Q10 as well as have heard alot of good things about that, but it's beyond my budget.

nztrader2004 (477 )    5:11 pm, 10 May


 884.     Has anyone heard about the grape juice extract?

          I read thats its a doozy that works like chemo on the cells and great to take during radiation treatment. Sounds good to me ;o) Now have meetings with supplements doc AND my Iridologist (seperately of course) on Monday!

soniat-d (153 )    6:08 pm, 10 May


 885.     Cant say i've heard anything about......

          Grape Juice extract, but if its supposed to be good then its worth a try, i'd say. Got to get organised to watch Phil Kerslake on prime at 7.30....Dont forget will you. I started on my triple dose of Coral C, CAA, and CoQ10-Omega3 tonight at dinner. So I shall keep you updated of any developments. See you all again after prime.

joystik (281 )    6:51 pm, 10 May


 886.     Thanks landylass for the info on the eye.........

          photography. I was really rather lost in that one. Very interesting and good to see there are improvements there too. See you later.

joystik (281 )    6:56 pm, 10 May


 887.     Thanks Joystik

          You are a sweetheart! Just passed on your message to Joshi and he looked so humbled. Thanks xx WE ALL WILL WIN!!!!!!!!!!

paulaxx (75 )    7:03 pm, 10 May


 888.     did any of you

          ladies see that news item on tv 1 tonight? About a breast cancer sufferer talking about funding for treatment?

ralm (75 )    7:36 pm, 10 May


 889.     I missed it but from summary on website

          Sounds like it was a good ad for health insurance!

soniat-d (153 )    8:21 pm, 10 May


 890.     Thanks Tishie :o)

          Its always great to see people who have battled the big C and won - love that! It also reminded me of what as awful interviewer Holmes is! LOL!

soniat-d (153 )    8:23 pm, 10 May


 891.     Well I suppose we are all Life coaches ...........

          in our own way arent we?? It was quite interesting actually, I thought. Yes always good to see stories of survival......makes you fight even harder and longer and louder!!!

joystik (281 )    8:47 pm, 10 May


 892.     LOL!!! You'd think seeing as Paul Holmes has been

          in broadcasting about as long as I've been alive that he'd have learned how to get a sentence out wi, wit, without repeating his words!!! Hhahaaa!!! I didn't see the interview with Phil Kerslake - kids dinner & bedtime put paid to that idea! Was it worthwhile watching? I hope so. I've emailed a friend tonight to tell herabout this thread. I bumped into her at our daughter's school today and she said her sister (in her 40's) is battling BC and had a double mastectomy. The BC sufferer closest in age to her that she's been able to talk to was a woman in her 60's. From what my friend said she'd like to hear from other women closer to her age going through it. Maybe you'll get a new regular poster?! I don't know this woman, I just know her sister.

tishie (60 )    8:50 pm, 10 May


 893.     hi all

          Everyone is still so positive good on you I feel so humble every day when I come on here. Please give Josh a big hug from me, joystick you are doing so well it must help so much having friends who are going through the same thing, to discuss how you are feeling. Sonia I think there would be something wrong if you didn't get down to it now and again. hugs and love to you all.

boop2 (106 )    8:52 pm, 10 May


 894.     Hello Tishie.....thats sounds like me........

          in my early 40's and just had a bi-lateral mastectomy lasy friday. I couldn't find anyone my own age that had had it done either. I hope she comes in for a chat. The cancer society here in Invercargill has a volunteer that has had a bi-lateral too, but quite a long while ago, and quite a bit older too. Nit many people do it, and surgeons dont really try to talk you into it at all. But mine didnt talk me out of it either, once I had made my mind up. Give her our very best wishes if you see her.

joystik (281 )    8:55 pm, 10 May


 895.     interesting that lady

          on tv tonight was diagnosed about same time as me. I heartedly agree that having 3 lumps and being told she had to wait 9 months for a mammagram is not on. But I think once she got the results there was a bit of panic there. I had my mammagram pte then have been treated in public system. I was 5 weeks from diagnosis to surgery and it was no big deal and mine turned out to be an agressive one and growing rapidly. I also had Xmas in the way but you need time to heal after surgery before starting chemo. While I support anything in the media about bc just feel the $10k treatment as only option might have just been a little bit overkill. Probably get slated for these comments!

landylass (47 )    8:56 pm, 10 May


 896.     Oh thanks boop2....I feel great actually..........

          and have probably surprised my self as much as everyone else around the place. Its so lovely to have so many people out there who just pop in to say 'hey we're out there and we thought of you today'. That does great things for the human spirit. Hugs to you too.

joystik (281 )    8:57 pm, 10 May


 897.     Actually Landylass, I watched that and........

          have to agree with your coments too. I have been on the boil thru the health system with this cancer of mine since around oct/nov, or july when I went for the last mammogram. By the time I went back for a second opinion, it was feb, and then back for another mammogram in march. Got the diagnosis on March 17 and operation 5th May. From July, that is 10 months. I would think if you cant get in for a mammogram thru the public health system then you would go private and pay like I have always done anyway. But good to see Breast Cancer in the headlines so people become more aware that it is real.

joystik (281 )    9:05 pm, 10 May


 898.     So true Joystik

          Its awesome they way peeps pop in here aye? Makes my day ;o) Busy busy busy working on my webpage update, about 80% there now ;o)

soniat-d (153 )    9:29 pm, 10 May


 899.     Hi Tishie :o)

          I'd say it was good for us battling cancer to see - no major revelations there IMO but so great to see someone come through like that - he looked soooo healthy, his face belies all that he's been through, for sure!

soniat-d (153 )    9:31 pm, 10 May


 900.     Have you had your

          new blast yet Sonia?

landylass (47 )    9:31 pm, 10 May


 901.           Hundee hundee hundee!

          #Dances around the desk#!

soniat-d (153 )    9:32 pm, 10 May


 902.     my mum

          bet it! good luck, hope you do. be strong

archerje (0)    9:32 pm, 10 May


 903.     sorry sonia!

          .

landylass (47 )    9:33 pm, 10 May


 904.           Damn! Missed it! You beat me Landylass LOL!

          Nope not yet - today was the day off in between treatments. I went and ordered the study curtains and then clothes shopping :o) Tomorrow I start the new treatment area, will find out about the extra blasts tomorrow, will be asking more questions!

soniat-d (153 )    9:34 pm, 10 May


 905.     Thanks archerje :o)

          Great to hear - congrats to your Mum!

soniat-d (153 )    9:35 pm, 10 May


 906.     Good luck then...

          I am out of here for an early night. Been having too many late nights lately.

landylass (47 )    9:36 pm, 10 May


 907.     You're beautiful

          Dear Sonia, live your life, don't let the monster slow you down.

walshie21 (31 )    9:42 pm, 10 May


 908.     Oh well sonia....you will go armed up with ......

          plenty of questions, like we should. Make sure you are getting the best possible treatment for what you have.. We had our first dose of the complete health triangle tonight with our dinner. Its got to be all good. People wouldn't say that it does this and that if it didnt. I'm more than happy to test it out anyway. Best of luck with your new treatment areas tomorrow. I will hopefully get a drain or two out, (2 of them have about 50ml in now and the other 2 about 5ml or less) and get these itchy dressings changes for a less itchy variety. I'll be thinking of you, and your dear wee girlies in the morning. Hows hubby?? Hope he's coping ok. I think about him too when I see what my hubby is experiencing. See you tomorrow sonia.

joystik (281 )    9:44 pm, 10 May


 909.           Awww Thanks Walshie :o)

          'Nite Landylass, Joystik and others, I'm going to try and finish this webpage update I've been working on and get an early night too!

soniat-d (153 )    9:49 pm, 10 May


 910.     My brother 38, and his son, 6 both have cancer

          Bowel and leukaemia respectively. In an effort to understand a bit more I have just read the best book - 'C - Because Cowards get Cancer too' by John Diamond. He was the husband of Nigella Lawson. I found it interesting because, like my brother he opted not to approach it as a battle but simply to go with the flow and take every day as it came. He didn't go in for alternative medicine although he understood why many people do. In all it was a very moving and compelling read. I think it comes up for sale on TM every now and then or your library might have it.

wasala (750 )    10:02 pm, 10 May


 911.     Hi wasala..that is very sad for your family.....

          Cancer truly is a menace and a monster in society. I hope things are going well both for your brother and your nephew as they battle this thing. I wish them all the best and will think of them daily and send warm thoughts and hugs from another person fighting cancer. Hugs to you too wasala.

joystik (281 )    8:57 am, 11 May


 912.     Hi...

          Just popping in to give you all my love. Thanks for the lovely words boop2. As always thinking of you all. Have a good day.

paulaxx (75 )    9:03 am, 11 May


 913.     Good morning paula....hope today is a good day..

          for you and young Josh. Bet its raining where you are too. Its definately an inside day here thats for sure. Well, you have a good day, take care of each other and give Josh a special hug. Thinking of you all...xxxx

joystik (281 )    9:58 am, 11 May


 914.     bump..... back to the top again.......

          .....

joystik (281 )    11:04 am, 11 May


 915.     Chin up to everyone

          fighting the monster! Just so many cases of it around. I feel so sorry for all the kids having treatment. Its not raining here yet but I'm away to stoke the fire and crash in front of telly for the day and catch up on some movies. Hubby is away to Central Otago and just hoping he gets home before it snows. Just home from chemo, yah 2 weeks off now and I will be into my last cycle of 2 doses. Can't wait to be finished.

landylass (47 )    11:27 am, 11 May


 916.     Thats great news landylass..........

          hope you dont fare too badly from this round. Not long til its all over. Nurse has just been and decided to take a drain out seeing as it had been less than 10ml for 3 days. But....as soon as she took it out, away it went and just poured out. Lucky Kev had brought the towels out in case of a mishap. She changed all the dressings and puta pad thing under that drain hole and left a pile of stuff incase Kev has to change it. Oh well....toast and tomatoes for lunch, so i'll go an have it. Enjoy your day by the fire...I think the rain could be coming your way, and its got a lot colder now too. See ya again soon.

joystik (281 )    12:20 pm, 11 May


 917.     hello

          all you brave posters...Lousy day here....Kinda like a fire on..Ours is a logbox and I can sit on it and toast my tush...

neldav (195 )    1:26 pm, 11 May


 918.     Hi joystik

          Yes it is raining here and the fire is humming. Josh looked a little peaky today but was keen to be at school. They are all practising for cross country at the moment and he asked me if he could do the walk instead of running. Saw the physio yesterday and his right side after the stroke is so much weaker, I got him an ankle support & he is going to do a bit today, weather permitting. It brings tears to my eyes just imagining him trying with all the other kids on the day. He is amazing to even want to. Chris(hubby) and I can imagine how proud we'll feel as he crosses the finish line. Its on Wed so if the chemo does what it usually does he may not feel like it by then, he gets such pain in his joints, heavy legs, headaches etc. So we will see. Lovely to hear from you hope you are having a good day too lots a love to you xxx

paulaxx (75 )    1:27 pm, 11 May


 919.     Landylass

          Enjoy your two weeks off treatment. Hope you are keeping warm and having a good day too. Paula

paulaxx (75 )    1:30 pm, 11 May


 920.     Dont want to forget anyone

          Thinking of you all xxxxxxxx

paulaxx (75 )    1:31 pm, 11 May


 921.            Oh Paula my heart really goes out to Josh

          The frustration and unpleasantness of it all!?! He's such a trouper - determination is everything. Go Josh! Thinking often of you and your family :o)

soniat-d (153 )    1:38 pm, 11 May